Songbird (17 page)

“Sorry I’m late,” I
apologized.

“It’s all good, you ready to start?” She was way too perky for a hot afternoon where nothing was going right. I nodded and she called up the first person in the line.

I signed, smiled, and sang my butt off for the rest of the day. By the time my festival duties were done with, I was exhausted. The only redeeming feature was the fact that Forest had shown up for all my afternoon sets. He played the guitar like a good boy, not saying a word to me in between.

Demi and I returned to the hotel just before eleven. At least we wouldn’t be travelling tomorrow, I could sleep in a little. I guessed I wouldn’t be sleeping in with Forest, that was definitely not going to happen now.

We entered the lobby, my feet dragging with fatigue. My fingers were all stiff from signing autographs and my thighs were killing me from continually getting up for photographs. It was worth it to make my fans happy, but it still killed.

I spotted two familiar faces in the lobby, two faces I wished weren’t there even though it was good to see them. My
mom and dad raced over to wrap their arms around me in a group hug.

“What are you guys doing here?” I asked happily, my mask right back on again.

They let me go, my mom’s eyes running over me. “You’re so skinny, Brierly. Demi, are you looking after our little girl?”

“I do my best.
” Demi laughed, a hint of discomfort in the way she answered.

“I’m absolutely
fine,” I interrupted. “Now, what are you doing here?”

“We came to see our baby girl,” Dad replied. “You said you were too busy to visit us so we decided to come visit you instead. Surprise!”

It certainly was a surprise, which is exactly why I hated surprises. “That’s great,” I lied. “How long are you staying?”

“Demi said you’d be hitting the road again on Monday, so just for tomorrow,”
Mom said warmly. I gave her another hug. I
was
happy to see her, I just wished everything didn’t have to happen on the one day. Being in a calmer mind frame would have made it better. Being able to think straight would have been better.
Anything
would have been better.

I looked toward Demi. “You knew about this?” She nodded with a glint of mischief in her eyes. “Can we free up my day tomorrow so I can spend time with my parents?”

“Already done it,” she said proudly. “I’ll leave you to it. Goodnight Mr. and Mrs. Wilcox, Brierly.”

“Goodnight, dear,”
Mom said before taking my hand and leading me to one of the oversized couches in the lobby. “We have so much to catch up on. Tell me all about this Forest person. I want to meet him, he better be treating you right.”

Forest was the last thing I wanted to talk about with my parents. I yawned, trying not to let it show. “He might be busy tomorrow, you might not get to see him.”

Mom
tsked
at the idea. “I’m sure he’ll have two minutes to spare for us. We can’t have just anyone dating our little girl, you know.”

I could already imagine how that conversation would go. Guys like Forest weren’t the kind of guy you took home, they weren’t the type to make parents instantly fall in love with them. I had never introduced Braydon to my parents for the same reason.

I yawned again, eliciting a pat on the back from my mom. “Look at you, you’re exhausted. We can talk tomorrow. How about we start the day with breakfast? Say eight o’clock?”

“Eight o’clock, I’ll see you then,” I replied, pulling myself onto my feet and barely being able to stand.

We said goodnight and I shuffled to my room. All my problems would have to wait until tomorrow. Right then, all I needed was my pajamas and bed.

Chapter Eighteen

T
wenty minutes. That’s all the time I had to fix everything that was wrong with my life before having breakfast with my parents. It wasn’t long, but I had to do something.

I had awoken in the early hours of the morning and spent hours tossing and turning. I kept thinking about how much I wanted to go into the bathroom after lunch and force myself to throw up. I couldn’t believe how close I had come to actually doing it.

If Forest hadn’t been looking for me, would I still have done it? I would like to think not, but I wasn’t so sure. My hand had been on the doorknob, I was going into the bathroom to do it. Once alone in that stall, I doubt I would have stopped myself and that was the most frightening thing of all.

I was still thinking about it as I stood in the hotel corridor. I knocked on Forest’s door. He wasn’t my
main problem, but he was hopefully the easiest one to solve. After all, I only had twenty minutes.

A sleepy Forest answered the door, leaning against the frame and making it clear I wasn’t invited in.
His bruises were purple and swollen. His dark honey hair was all messy, like he’d spent a night tossing and turning too. Hopefully he was doing it alone and it wasn’t mussed up from something else.

“Brierly,” he grumbled, putting a plethora of emotion in that one single word.

“Can I come in?” I asked. He looked me up and down before stepping aside. He let me in and closed the door but continued to stand by it. “I may have overreacted yesterday and I’m sorry.”

“You
may
have overreacted?”

“I was having a bad day.”

“I get that people have bad days, but it doesn’t mean you can treat me like crap and use that as an excuse.”

Okay, fair enough, I probably deserved that. “I know, I’m sorry.”

“For the record, I am nothing like Braydon.”

“I know.”

“To think you would even compare me to him, it hurts. What have I done to deserve that?” Forest demanded. His beautiful eyes were burning, it pained me seeing him like that. And to know I had done it.

But he wasn’t completely the victim. Forest had still shirked the gig and forgotten about handling the media.
Not to mention punching the idiot Consentino. He might not think he was like Braydon, but there were still some shades of him there.

“I said I’m sorry,” I repeated.

“I guess I am too,” he replied, but there was nothing apologetic in his tone of voice. He was still angry with me for flying off the handle. I didn’t have the time or inclination to start groveling. Twenty minutes obviously wasn’t going to be long enough.

“I have to go, I’m having breakfast with my parents.” I took a step toward the door.

“Your parents are here?”

“Yeah, they jumpe
d on a plane after we spoke yesterday morning. You can join us if you want, they’d like to meet you.”

He didn’t say anything, just watched me leave. He obviously wasn’t interested in meeting my parents. That was probably a good thing. I didn’t want to have to explain to them why my new relationship had gone so horribly wrong already. It would only be another reason for them to worry.

I headed for the hotel restaurant, my stomach more than ready for some food to settle it. As I approached, I saw my parents talking with Demi at the door, waiting for me. With their backs to me, they didn’t hear me come up.

As I got closer, I could hear them talking. They weren’t discussing the weather or tour, they were talking about me. I quickly took a step sideways to hide around the corner. I felt like a ten year old again, I used to eavesdrop on my parents all the time growing up. They never caught me.

“We’re only concerned about her mental health,” my mom was saying. “The moment her eating disorder gets the best of her, she spirals downward out of control.”

“And she’ll hide it,” Dad added. “She’ll make you
think everything is fine but it’s not. She internalizes every bit of emotion until she falls apart at the seams.”

Demi cleared her throat, I could imagine her nodding in response. “I’m watching her closely, monitoring everything your doctor said to. That photograph was taken out of context, the girl is allowed to eat pie if she wants to.”

“Of course she can,” Mom continued. “But then she might choose to casually walk off to the bathroom and make herself throw it up again afterward.
That
is what we have to be careful of. It’s not like she’ll come right out and tell you what she’s done.”

“She seems to be in a good place.” At least Demi was defending me. “Everything is going well for her, I think she’s really turned a corner.”

“What about the photos? Not just the one with the pie, but the one of the naked man in her room. You can’t tell me that is something Brierly would do in her normal state of mind.” Dad sounded scandalized, I guess Forest’s picture had made it to the internet. It took longer than I thought. It was a good thing I no longer got embarrassed about my parents knowing I was having sex.

“The man in the photograph is the lead guitarist in the band,” Demi explained. “He and Brierly have been seeing each other for six weeks now. They seem quite devoted to each other. I’m sure the photograph was a slip of the mind rather than on purpose.”

I couldn’t listen any longer. To know your parents were disappointed in you was one thing, to listen to it was something else entirely. They would have to talk about me behind my back later.

It briefly crossed my mind whether my parents
regretted adopting me all those years ago. They had no idea what an unstable daughter they were getting. Normally people didn’t have to worry about their child inflicting injury on themselves. Apparently mine did.

I stepped out from behind the corner like I only just arrived. “Hey,
Mom, Dad, Demi.” I gave them a hug in turn, wearing my happy mask.

We took a seat and exchanged pleasantries until our breakfast arrived. I ordered healthy muesli with fresh fruit. I couldn’t help but notice everyone pay attention to my meal. I took a few bites, ignoring their glances.

My muesli had barely been started before another person pulled up a seat to our table and joined us. When I saw it was Forest, I almost fell over. He flashed his smile around the table. “You must be Mr. and Mrs. Wilcox. I’m Forest Knight, Brierly has told me so much about you.”

My father’s hand shot out to shake his, my
mom nodded toward him. The waiter hurried over to take his order, apparently he was staying for breakfast. Either he had a change of heart, or he was just as good of an actor as I was.

“So you’re the man who stole our daughter’s heart,”
Mom said, smiling warmly. It didn’t translate to her eyes though, she was like a smiling politician.

“More like she stole mine,” For
est replied. Surely that wasn’t the same guy I had been arguing with upstairs less than half an hour earlier. I was seriously going to owe him big time for the charade.

Mom
laughed. “Maybe you’re both thieves then. How did you two meet?”

“He auditioned for the band,” I replied before Forest could come up with something outrageous and
completely untrue. He had that glint of mischief in his eye, I was a little worried about what he might say.

“I really wanted to work with Brierly.” Forest winked, he actually
winked
at my mother. I looked around for an exit, wondering if it would be too subtle to get up and leave.

“He’s a gifted musician,” I added, trying to bring it back to safe ground.

“You know I don’t trust any musician,” Dad said, crossing his arms across his chest as his gaze flicked between us. “Not when my little girl is involved.”

“Dad,
I’m
a musician.” I said the words before I thought about them. It wasn’t like Dad trusted me any more than any other musician out there. Their conversation earlier proved that. “And so are you two, we all are musicians.”

He placed a hand on my shoulder, like he had done a thousand times while I was growing up. “You are the exception to every rule, Brier. You know that.”

For just a second, it was like I was speaking with my old father again. The one who I hadn’t jaded with lies and deceived over and over again. I would give away all my money if I could go back to those times.

Dad turned his focus back to Forest before I could dwell on sentimentalities. “I hope you know our daughter is the most precious thing in the world to us. I won’t accept anyone hurting her.”

All the mischief was suddenly gone from Forest’s expression as he grew serious. “I wouldn’t expect anything less, Mr. Wilcox. I promise you I don’t intend on causing her any harm.”

Both my parents nodded with approval. They might have believed him but I wasn’t sure if I did yet. As
much as I knew I loved Forest, the sensible voice inside my head said not to. I shouldn’t love anyone and hand over the power to hurt me. I had dived into it with Braydon and it caused nothing but pain and torment. I almost died because of falling so hard for him and I couldn’t do it again.

After breakfast we went for a drive before deciding on hitting the beach. My parents claimed they didn’t care what they did as long as they did it with me. I loved their cheesiness.

I managed to convince everyone that Forest and Demi had other things to do so it was just me and my parents. I didn’t have to be the professional, the pop star, the girlfriend, the boss around them. I could be myself and the girl they had raised since she was a baby.

The sand felt hot and soothing under my feet. For a weekend, the beach wasn’t as busy as I thought it would be. With my big floppy hat and sunglasses, hopefully nobody would even know I was there.

We found a place and laid our towels over the sand. My dad decided to go for a swim to cool off, leaving my mom and I alone. She pounced on the opportunity to speak with me without an audience. “So tell me how you really are, Brier Bear.” My childhood nickname brought a smile to my lips.

“I’m really fine,
Mom.” I had no clue how to convince her. Maybe if I hadn’t come so close to relapsing yesterday, I might be able to do it more convincingly. “The tour is going well, ticket sales are up, my fans are great. Everything really is going my way.”

“And this boy, Forest? How is everything with
him? You said you weren’t going to date anyone you worked with anymore. I remember because I was relieved hearing it at the time.”

I remembered that conversation too. It was in the hospital when I was still being force fed by a tube that threaded down my nose into my stomach. If I thought about it long enough, I could still feel the tube in my throat. I swallowed to try to get it to go away.

“Forest is different, he’s nice. He’s stable, he cares about me, he knows what I’ve gone through. It’s different this time,” I tried to reassure her.

She took my hand in hers, squeezing it. “I worry so much about you. Forest does seem nice, but there was a time when you would have said the same things about Braydon.”

“It’s not the same, I’m going into this – whatever I have with Forest – with my eyes wide open this time. I’m not some stupid groupie with stars in my eyes. I’ve grown up a lot in the last year.”

“And where do you see this thing going? Is it wise to get involved with someone when you are still recovering?” Her forehead was creased with worry wrink
les. She seemed to have grown older over the last year too. Unfortunately, I wouldn’t be able to take that time off again.

“I’m going to be recovering for the rest of my life,” I replied. “Forest actually makes me feel stronger, more in control. If anything, he’s helping me feel normal again. That’s all I want right now, to feel normal.”

She wrapped her arms around me and enveloped me in a mom-style hug that always made the world a more bearable place to live. It healed everything she had said to Demi before breakfast. I knew she was only worried about me, I just wished she didn’t have to be. I was a terrible daughter, I was never going to be able to make it up to them.

“Oh my God, it’s Brierly Wilcox!” The female shriek, undoubtedly of a teenager, came from behind. I cringed, perhaps they were talking about someone else? My doppelganger, perhaps?

“I totally told you it was her!” Another girl, another shriek of equally high pitch.

Before I could open my mouth to deny anything, we were swarmed by teenagers. They stood, crouched, and lurked around. All cell phones were out and pointed my way.

“Can I have my picture taken with you?”

“I’m totally tweeting this.”

“I can’t believe you’re here. I’m your biggest fan.”

I smiled, trying to formulate a plan to get out of there. Too many people with no security team was a recipe for something horrible to happen. I knew all those girls meant well, but they could be a formidable force when together.

I stood quickly, grabbing my towel as I moved. I slung my bag over my shoulder. “Sorry girls, I’ve got to go. Thanks for your kind words.”