Songbird (36 page)

“You
did in a way.”

He
grimaced.  “I mean besides our arrangement.”

“You
hardly knew me.  Why would you have paid my fees?”

“Because
I cared for you.”

I
laid a gentle hand on his arm.  “How kind, but the arrangement we made suited
all parties concerned.  As Mr Perry says quid pro quo.”

“That’s
not what you said at Claythorpe or at my club or in the art gallery.”  He
inclined his head towards me and added sternly,  “In fact, if I remember
rightly you were filled with remorse that you had given up your child for
financial gain.”

“Yes,
I know,” I groaned.  “And I still feel guilty.”

He
gave a pleasant chuckle.  “It’s been an interesting day.  I discover that the
celebrated Miss Barri has consented to sing in the abbey and I decide to find
out for myself what this Lady of the Flowers is all about.  And instead I see
the woman I love and the mother of my child, standing in front of hundreds of
people, singing like an angel.  I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.”

“Why
would you want to do either?”

He
raised my hand to his lips and kissed it.  “Because I was happy and sad at the
same time.  I couldn’t believe it was you and I was finally hearing you sing. 
And I realised that you were the woman that everyone adores.  It made me very
proud.”

I
smiled and looked around, realising that the abbey was emptying, as it was
nearly time to lock the doors.

“Well,
that’s everything.  Every secret I have, you now know.”

“Are
you sure?” he asked, cocking his head to one side.

“Of
course.”

“You’re
not going to tell me in a few months that you’re related to nobility?  Or a
distant cousin of the Queen?”

I
snorted in contempt.  “What nonsense.”  But then I smiled happily.  “When did
you arrive in Bath?”

“Last
night.”

“What
a shame.  If you’d arrived earlier then you could have come to the theatre and
seen my performance.”

“I
intend to.”

“When?”

He
took in a breath.  “Are you performing on the south coast?”

I
nodded.  “Yes, the summer will be all along the coast.”

“Brighton?”

“That
will be the last venue, thank goodness,” I sighed.

A
smile lit up his face.  “Let me know what days you’re in Brighton and I’ll make
sure we’re there.  We always go to the seaside in summer.  Emily likes to build
sandcastles.”

“Wonderful,”
I laughed.

“I’ll
tell my wife tonight that you are the famous opera singer, Miss Emmeline
Barri.”  He squeezed my hand.  “I’ll have to tell Emily in the morning, but I
know she’ll be delighted.  In her eyes you can do no wrong.”

I
paused before saying huskily,  “Give her a kiss for me.”  I turned my head
away.  “I can’t believe it’s over a year since we had that terrible argument.”

He
squeezed my hand again.  “Let’s put it in the past.”

“We’ll
have to go soon.  They’re locking up.”

He
seemed to be struggling with his thoughts.  “Isabelle, please tell me if that
wonderful evening we shared, is our last.  I have to know where I stand with
you.  I need to know if there’s any hope.”

“Would
you like us to meet again?” I asked demurely.

He
nodded.  “More than anything.”  He gave a sigh.  “I know it will be difficult
for us to meet, but with careful planning, we should be able to spend time
together.”

I
glanced around, slightly embarrassed at the topic of conversation in such a
hallowed place. 

“What
about your marriage?”

He
closed his eyes briefly as if trying to summon his courage.  “What I told you
that night still applies.  I don’t love my wife and our marriage is nothing
more than a shell.  But I shall stay with her.”

“And
you promise you’ll not leave her because of me?”

“I
promise.”

“How
long are you staying in Bath?”

“Oh,
just a month.  We come so that my wife can take the waters.”

“I’m
not sure if the waters of Bath really work,” I smiled.

“Neither
am I,” he laughed.  “But she likes to visit once a year.”

Slowly,
I reached for his hand.  “I’ve missed you more than I can say.”

He
took my hand and pressed a kiss into the palm.  “Oh, Isabelle,” he whispered. 
“I’m so happy and…”

He
was interrupted by a commotion at the main door.  A man was forcing himself in,
demanding to be allowed entry to the nave, his voice raised in anger.  I turned
my head to see Andrew pushing past a steward, his face as black as thunder.  He
rushed towards us, almost knocking over a couple who were making their way down
the aisle.  The man grabbed his arm and said something I couldn’t hear.  Andrew
shrugged him off without looking at him; his stare fixed on Brett.  We jumped
to our feet at the same time and in alarm, I went to meet him, stunned at the
fury in his eyes.

He
gripped my arms tightly.  “I thought you were coming straight back!” he hissed
through his teeth.  “You said you would come straight back.”

“We
were talking,” I said, trying to pacify him. 

He
shook me like an errant puppy.  “I was worried when I returned to the hotel and
you weren’t there.”

Brett
placed his hand on Andrew’s firm grip.  “I think it better if you released your
hold, sir.”

They
glared at each other.

“She’s
my responsibility and I want her back in the hotel where she’s safe,” said
Andrew.

“Mrs
Asquith was quite safe with me, I assure you.”

“I
can’t be sure of that.”

I
felt puzzled.  “But Andrew, you agreed that Lord Shelbrook would accompany me.”

His
look of anger deepened.  “Yes I did.  But I didn’t expect you to stay out.”

“Oh,
for goodness sake.  I’m a grown woman not a child.”

Brett
held his hand in front of me as if to protect me.  “Mrs Asquith is quite
right.  She’s old enough to make her own decisions.  Your behaviour is
unreasonable, sir.”

His
persuasive words seemed to bring Andrew to his senses.  He sucked in a few
controlled breaths.  “Yes, all right.  Perhaps I’m being a little
overprotective.  But you must return now.”  He turned to Lord Shelbrook.  “My
apologies, sir.  I worry about her and I thought she might have come to harm.”

Brett
bowed politely.  “Your concern for Mrs Asquith is admirable.”

Andrew
offered his arm and I felt compelled to take it.  We walked down the aisle with
Brett a step behind and at the main door we said our farewells.  His retreating
back left me with a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.  I wouldn’t see
him for months, not until we reached the south coast.  Feeling frustrated, I
turned on Andrew in anger.

“How
dare you!  You completely humiliated me in front of a friend who has every
intention of seeing I come to no harm.”

Andrew
winced.  “I’m sorry, Isabelle.  I didn’t mean to embarrass you, but I was
concerned for your wellbeing.”

“Anyway,
what are you doing back so early?”

“What
are you talking about?”

“I
thought you would have been out with your lady friend until the early hours.”

“What
lady friend?”

I
clicked my tongue.  “You can’t fool me.  The note you received after dinner was
from an admirer, I know it was.”

“I
have no lady friend,” he said softly.  “Other than you.” 

“Andrew
Perry, if you have a lady admirer, then I don’t mind.  You don’t need to hide
her from me.  In fact, I’d love to meet her.”

I
laughed and started running.  He ran after me grim-faced and caught up with me
in seconds.  Thrusting my hand through his arm, he made me walk beside him.  We
didn’t speak all the way back to the hotel, his face tense, his eyes pinpoints
of light under the brim of his hat.  And in the corridor outside our rooms he
said goodnight coldly, hardly looking at me.

I
didn’t realise it at the time, but that was the start.  The sins of the past
were about to catch up with me and the consequences would be more painful than
I could ever have imagined.

CHAPTER
THIRTY-FIVE

I
t was
wonderful meeting Danny and Miss Rupp at Bristol railway station and I ran
along the platform gathering my son in my arms.  Did I imagine it or had he
grown taller?  He was certainly full of news about his month at Claythorpe. 

“I
rode Pegasus right round the field, Mama.When I speak to him he nuzzles my
neck.  His lordship said I did well and that if I kept talking to him he would
get to know me.”

I
smiled in delight and glanced at Miss Rupp who was grinning.  “He did have a
lovely time, ma’am.  As did I.  I’ve never been made so welcome in a big
house.”

“And
we went swimming in the river, Mama.  The weather was so warm and we swung on
the rope.  Abigail and I had a competition to see how far we could jump.  But
she won.”

“They
were supervised at all times, ma’am,” said Miss Rupp seriously.  “And his
lordship swam too on many of the afternoons, so he was quite safe.” 

“I’m
sure he was.  I wasn’t worried in the slightest.”

I put
my arm round his shoulder and with Miss Rupp following with the porter and
luggage, I guided them to the waiting cab and we travelled to the hotel. 
Bristol was my last engagement before crossing the Severn into Wales and I had
already planned to show Danny a little of my homeland.  There might even be
enough time for a trip to the seaside.

My
first night in Bristol went as expected and I was happy with my performance.  I
was becoming quite skilled at throwing flowers and often hit where I aimed
for.  But it was on the second night that I got the surprise of my life.  I had
decided to start with a few extracts from Gilbert and Sullivan.  I followed
this with two songs from
Carmen
and the applause that followed was
deafening.  In order to bring the tempo down, my last song was
Greensleeves
.

It
was one of my favourite tunes since it reflected the sadness of a broken
heart.  As I sang I glanced towards the wings where Andrew usually stood.  He
was there, but his expression was grim.  He seemed deep in thought and as our
eyes met, he looked startled and quickly turned away.  Oh dear, I thought, he
really is suffering.  His lady friend must have had a phenomenal affect on
him. 

I
faced front again and then movement in a box on the left-hand side attracted my
attention.  A pair of white, thin arms had folded themselves on the padded
restraint that enclosed the box and I saw the glint of a shiny satin bow.  At
the end of the song the lights went up and I could see the little girl with
dark brown hair and dark eyes in a small, impish face.

She
waved and I waved back and blew her a kiss.  Her father sat just behind her and
he was smiling as he bent forward to whisper something in her ear.  She nodded and
returned my kiss.  The basket of flowers arrived and I threw them out to
grasping hands.  And then I threw a carnation into the box and Brett reached
out, caught it and gave it to Emily.  I left the stage in a daze.

In
the dressing room, Martha helped me undress and I wrapped my dressing gown
round me.  I could hardly believe what I had seen.  Had Brett brought Emily
especially to see my show?  Were they planning on staying overnight so that I
could meet up with them?  I didn’t need to ponder for long before laughter
outside the door and a sharp knock was followed by Emily rushing in without
ceremony and running straight into my arms.  Brett followed her, but stood back
a little, as if not wanting to spoil our reunion. 

“Oh,
Mrs Asquith, you were so good.  And so pretty.  Papa said you were and he was
right.”

I
hugged her to me.  “Did you enjoy it?”

“Yes,
but I liked the last song best.  I sing
Greensleeves
when I can, you
know.”

I
stroked her hair.  “I do know.  We sang it together, remember?”

“Yes,
when you were playing the piano at Claythorpe.  But I didn’t know you were Miss
Barri then.”

Brett
took a few steps towards us.  “It was a wonderful performance, Isabelle.”

“Thank
you,” I smiled.  “Have you come all the way from Bath?”

“It’s
not that far,” he laughed.  “But we’re staying overnight at the Grand.”

“I’m
staying there too.”

He
nodded.  “I thought you and Danny would like to accompany us to the park
tomorrow and then take luncheon with us before we return to Bath.”

I
couldn’t hide my delight.  “I would love to do that.”

“Shall
we meet in the foyer after breakfast, then?” asked Brett.

I put
my arm round Emily.  “Danny will be so delighted to see you again.  Perhaps we
can take his cricket bat and ball and have a game.”

“Yes,”
squealed Emily.  “Papa’s very good at playing cricket.”

I
hugged her again and then suddenly Andrew came striding through the door, his
eyes lowered as if studying the floor.  He stopped abruptly when he saw I had
visitors.

“Andrew,
Lord Shelbrook decided to come from Bath to see my performance.  And he’s
brought his daughter, Emily, with him.”

He
smiled and came forward to bow over her hand.  “How do you do, Lady Emily.  Did
you enjoy the show?”

“It
was wonderful, sir.” 

She
gave a small curtsey and Brett and I exchanged amused glances.  Andrew inclined
his head to Brett who responded with a slight smile.

“Lord
Shelbrook and his daughter have invited Danny and me to go to the park tomorrow
morning and then we’re to have luncheon with them,” I told him.

Andrew
nodded slowly and then stared at Emily.  Then he looked at Brett and then back
at Emily.  A frown creased his face and his eyes darkened.

“Good,”
he said.  “The weather’s set to be fine.  I must go, I’ve a hundred things to
do.”  He turned to go, but stopped to take one more look at Emily, before
leaving the room.

“Andrew
always has a hundred things to do,” I laughed.

“He
seems a very busy man,” murmured Brett, watching his disappearance with
interest.

I don’t know how
I slept that night.  The thought that Brett was sleeping under the same roof
filled me with yearning.  I wondered if he was asleep or was he tossing and
turning too?  Was he thinking of me, wanting me as much as I wanted him?  I
tried to push these thoughts from my mind and turned over, pummelling my pillow. 
I didn’t fall asleep until the early hours, but when I awoke, I was ready to
start the day.

Danny
had a room adjoining mine and he was already getting dressed when I peeped
round his door.

“I’ve
got something planned for this morning, dearest.  Guess who came to the theatre
last night for my performance?”  Frowning, he shook his head.  “Lord Shelbrook
and Lady Emily and we’ve been invited to go to the park with them and then take
luncheon.”

“Emily
is here?  I’d like to see her again.”

We
went down to breakfast where the others were already seated round the table. 
We took our places and the waiter brought us a pot of tea and took our orders. 
A few minutes later Brett, Emily and a tall woman in a nanny’s uniform came
into the dining room.  Although the nanny organised Emily’s breakfast, I
watched in amusement as Brett tucked the napkin in the front of his daughter’s
pinafore dress. 

“You
seem quite fond of that little girl,” said Andrew, watching me.

“Yes,
we got along famously when we met at Claythorpe.  She sings, you know.”

“Does
she now.”

“Of
course she’s only young, but I think she has a lot of potential as an opera
singer when she’s grown,” I said proudly.

He
cleared his throat.  “So, how old is she?”

“Eight
on the twenty-fourth of this month.”  The date tripped off my tongue without
effort.  I jerked my head in Andrew’s direction and saw his eyes narrow.  “Her
mother told me,” I said quickly.  “We were comparing notes on bringing up
children.  You know how it is when we women get together, we chatter about
everything.”  He didn’t answer but continued eating his breakfast his eyes
still on me.  I felt terribly uncomfortable and directed my conversation to
Martha and Miss Rupp.  “Would you two ladies like to shop and sightsee this
morning?”

Miss
Rupp stopped buttering her toast.  “Are you sure, ma’am?  Danny’s lessons…”

I
smiled.  “I thought he could have a morning with me.  In fact, we’ve been
invited out and the gentleman in question has a little girl.”

“Lord
Shelbrook and Lady Emily,” said Danny.  He bent his head forward.  “They’re
sitting over there with the nanny but I won’t point because it’s rude.”

“It
certainly is,” Miss Rupp scolded.  She tilted her head to take a look.  “Is
that the little girl you were telling me about?  The one who fell in the river
with you?”

“We
didn’t fall.  Abigail knocked us in,” he answered with a grin.

We
met in the foyer and I was relieved that the tall nanny had been released from
her duties for the morning.  We stepped out into the brilliant sunshine of that
first day of June and I took Brett’s arm as the children ran ahead of us.  For
a short time I could almost believe that we were a family and Brett’s words
echoed in my mind. 
I want to be with you
, he had said. 
I love you
and I’ll not live my life without you, I want you to wear my wedding band, be
Viscountess Shelbrook, be a proper mother to our child and live at Standford
Park.
  And then he had said,
Your son needs a father.
 That would be
wonderful, I thought wistfully, for my son to have a father.  Someone to guide
him through his growing years.  And then I remembered Angelique and I shrugged
the dreams from my mind.  It wasn’t to be and I mustn’t think about it.

Most
of the morning was spent in the park playing cricket with just a short break to
a tearoom for a pot of tea and shortbread biscuits.  At lunchtime we went back
to the hotel to join the others for our meal.

After
luncheon, Brett and Emily prepared to leave and return to Bath to join Lady
Shelbrook.  I felt as though my heart would break, but I smiled and nodded when
Brett said we would meet again in Brighton.  I watched the cab until it had
disappeared from view.

As I
walked back inside the desk clerk called me over and gave me a letter.  It was
from Nan.

Dearest
Isabelle,

 They’ve
arrived home.  Gwilym and Ruth are with us now as I write.  They intend to stay
at Gibson Place for a month or so before finding a house to rent.  I’ve said
they’re welcome to stay for as long as they wish.  I knew you wouldn’t mind. 
They look so well and they have some wonderful news.  Ruth is expecting.  Thank
goodness she is home.  They both send their fondest love.

Nan

It
was amazing news, but one week later while performing in Cardiff, another
letter arrived from Nan and this one was puzzling.  Jane had gone.  She had
taken advantage of their kindness, Nan wrote crossly, when they had allowed her
a week away to visit Blackpool with a friend.  She hadn’t returned and they had
become alarmed.  The police had been informed, but a constable had questioned
her friend and he discovered that no holiday had been planned.  Diamond had
searched her room and realised that certain items were missing, especially a
framed photograph of Mrs Holland.  Jane wouldn’t have taken it if she had meant
to return. 

The
only thing they could speculate was that she had met a young man and with her
inheritance from Mrs Holland, had decided to start a new life with him. 
Although, why she couldn’t have said something before she left, perplexed both
Nan and Diamond. 

However,
they had decided to hire two maids called Violet and Lily, knowing I would be
in full agreement that it was necessary.  Violet would help Nan in the kitchen,
since she would never relinquish her duties as cook and Lily would be the new
housemaid.  So, two fresh blooms had joined our household, I smiled as I read. 
And it would be a full house when I finally arrived home.

As June
continued, the weather became hotter.  I looked forward to reaching the south
coast of England, where the air would be cooler and we would finally be on the
last part of the tour. 

But
Andrew’s changed behaviour still concerned me.  He had never really recovered
from that evening at Bath Abbey.  He continued doing his job and his managing
skills were excellent, but he had withdrawn into himself.  He was much quieter
than usual and had stopped dashing about in his inimitable style.  I seemed to
have lost his admiration and as the tour progressed I felt that I was losing
his friendship too.  He kept himself to himself and no matter how hard I tried,
I couldn’t cheer him up.

And
then I realised that the message he had received in Bath must have been from a
lady friend.  Obviously it had been a disastrous meeting with her, perhaps
leading to a terrible quarrel.  He had a broken heart and I could sympathise with
that.