Son of Santa (7 page)

“You weren’t before. Back when I was in the Pole.”

“No, not nice, but I don’t think I was mean either. I never knew how to talk to you, how to be your friend. No one did, least of all me.”

“No one understands. What it’s like. To have him as a dad. No one understands me.”

“Maybe not, but you don’t let anyone try.”

“And you’re telling me you want to try?”

“I’m telling you I want to be there for you. Listen to you. Be around you. You’re smart and funny, even if it’s grumpy funny, and wonderful, and you don’t see it. I want to show you. Won’t you let me?”

There was a pause, hanging heavy between them. Noel’s breath showed on the air, white puffs that dissipated quickly. Fannar’s did not do the same. He was an ice sprite. He was… different than Noel. Better suited for the cold. Better.

Noel shook his head slowly. “I… don’t know.”

That was a lie. He did know. But he was nervous, afraid.

For a split second, Fannar’s face flickered with hurt, but he quickly smoothed it over. He stepped back from Noel. “Think about it. And when you know… let me know. Here”—he held out his hand—“let me wind you home.”

It sounded like an end to their night. It was probably for the best. Noel needed time to sort out his head, untangle his emotions. “It’s okay, you don’t have to. I’ll make my way.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I’m not leaving you standing here in this cold. It’s too much, even for you.”

It was all too much for him, but Noel nodded and took Fannar’s hand. Despite the bulky mitt, Fannar made it seem like they fit.

After Fannar winded them to the front steps of Noel’s apartment, Fannar pressed a quick kiss to Noel’s cheek. It stunned him into silence, and Fannar took off on the breeze again before Noel could thank him for the evening. With Fannar gone, the deep, true chill of the night crowded in on Noel.

Normally, Noel didn’t mind. Tonight, it sank into his bones.

C
HRISTMAS
DAY
arrived, for those who celebrated it. And there were many different ways to celebrate it. Or for some, not celebrate it. But either way, it was a day that arrived in a fashion for everyone. Important, not important, there was no stopping the moving of time and the fact that December twenty-fifth was a day that occurred.

While it was a day with great significance in Noel’s life, Noel only wanted to celebrate that it would be over for another glorious year. And by celebrate, he meant keep everything low key. And by low key, he meant not leave his apartment or get off his beloved couch.

He had got off the couch long enough to open the door for Ruby, who’d arrived with a variety of Chinese takeout, but then the two of them sacked out comfortably and dug into their food.

Unfortunately Ruby wouldn’t let the day pass without any acknowledgment. She didn’t press Noel for stories or mention he was the Son of Santa and shouldn’t he be more involved in the day? But she wanted to celebrate, and Noel didn’t want to be alone or leave her alone, so he tolerated it.

Besides, streaming holiday movies on Netflix wasn’t too bad. Sometimes the complete and total inaccuracy was annoying, but on the other hand, it was pretty hilarious to sit with Ruby and make disparaging remarks about how humans never, ever got it right. Which was fine, because realm folk wanted to remain a mystery, hidden in the folds of space and time. That was the whole point.

Plus, some of the movies were kind of fun, if viewed as an alternate timeline or universe or mythology.

“What next?” Ruby asked as the credits rolled to yet another holiday romance.

“Meh, whatever.” It’d been Noel’s exact response after the last two movies they watched. He’d let her pick both. He had no opinion, one way or another.

Ruby fluffed her perfect curls and smiled sweetly. “You must have a preference. A favorite? Cartoon? Live action? Black and white?”

“They’re all the same to me. I don’t particularly like any of them, but I also don’t hate any of them more than the other. If that makes sense?”

She laughed. “You crack me up. You really aren’t into the whole spirit of it, are you?”

“I’m a literal, actual part of the spirit,” he said. He waved his arm around. “One cog in the grand scheme of things. And it’s important to keep some separation, you know? Christmas spirit is so powerful it’ll burn you up from the inside if you let it.”

She gave him an uncharacteristically flat, unimpressed look. “You’re so full of it, you Grinch.” Her face lit with a smile. “Oh, I know what we’re watching next!”

He couldn’t help but laugh. “Cartoon or live action? Either way, I do probably like those the best. I can relate.”

“I don’t think your heart has grown three sizes too big yet.” She paused and gave him a significant look. “Or has it? I’ve been meaning to ask,” she said, too casually, “how is your friend? Fannar, is it?”

Noel rolled his eyes. “You are the least subtle cupid ever.”

“I’m curious. You haven’t mentioned him much.”

He dropped his head against the back of the couch, staring at the ceiling. “I messed up.”

She remained silent as she shoved a sweet and sour ball into her mouth. Maybe she did it so she would keep her mouth shut and not give an opinion.

“Can I tell you about it?” She’d been willing to listen to him the night they went out for dinner and dancing. Maybe she wouldn’t mind listening to him whine about how he had screwed up.

The pink aura of her realm shivered around her more than it usually did.

He couldn’t help but grin. “I’m going to take that as a yes.” He told her about Fannar’s Christmas present and their outing to the hockey game. And the conversation after it. And the kiss on the cheek he hadn’t been given time to respond to. She remained quiet and patient and gave him her undivided attention.

When he reached the end of his story, he pinched the bridge of his nose. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Is it okay if I give you my two cents, or however you want to put it?”

“Sure. Please do.”

“You, my friend,” she said sweetly, “are a complete moron.”

“Thank you. That’s very helpful.”

“I told you before, there is something there. A foundation, if you will, that you can build on. A relationship doesn’t necessarily need one of those to work out—some people meet each other and right away they’re able to work. But for you, Noel, that’s not going to happen. You’re guarded, and private, and unsure of your place in the world. You need someone who already knows you, sees you for who you are. And he is what’s going to work best for you.” She threw her hands up. “And you refuse to see it. Or if you do see it, to accept it.”

“You think so?”

She patted his arm. “I told you the first time I saw you together. And this is what I am, what I do. Yes, Noel, I really think so.”

Leaning forward, putting his elbows on his knees and cradling his head in his hands, he sighed deeply. “Okay. What now? I mean, can you help me?”

“We’re all realm folk. It isn’t right for me to push any magic your way. I can’t get involved.”

He shook his head. “That’s not what I mean. I mean, as my friend, what’s your advice? Can you give me some?”

“Of course I can.” He glanced at her, and she smiled encouragingly. “My advice is… fix it.”

He dropped his hands. “Fix it?”

She nodded firmly. “Yup. Fix it. By the sounds of it, the ball is in your court, as the humans would say. And if he’s respecting you and giving you space, you’re the one who is going to have to make the next move.”

He leaned back again. “Okay. Okay, I can do that.” He wasn’t sure how, but he would figure it out. “Okay, put on that movie you mentioned. I think it’s exactly the kind of positive encouragement I need right now.”

L
ATER
THAT
evening, Noel sent Fannar a message by communicator. He asked if Fannar would meet him the next day and gave him a time and location.

He sat on his couch, absently sipping a peppermint hot chocolate while staring at the map on the wall. All the pins had lost their red glow. The season was over. The magic returned to the North Pole, where it belonged. Noel could tell which one had belonged to Fannar, and Noel worried maybe he wouldn’t hear from him any time soon.

Right before he went to bed, the plaque vibrated. Noel activated it, and the globe of snowflakes swirled.

All it said was “Yes.”

Noel smiled. It was enough.

N
OEL
SAT
on an outside bench at The Forks, a popular destination in Winnipeg, even in the cold of winter. Especially then. Situated on the banks where the Red River and the Assiniboine River meet, there were plenty of activities to partake in, both inside the cluster of buildings and outside in the winter weather. And thankfully the cold snap had dissipated and the wind had lost its bite. Noel sat near the outdoor skating rink and watched as families zoomed around and played on the ice.

Extremely punctual, Fannar sat on the bench next to him at the exact time Noel had proposed they meet.

“Funny thing about the trail this season,” Noel started. When Fannar hadn’t started to speak, Noel decided to open the conversation. “It doesn’t typically open until January. But the rivers froze over early this year, and it opened a couple weeks early. For the holiday.”

Noel glanced at Fannar, but Fannar kept looking straight ahead. He watched as a family skated past them.

“I’d like a closer look at it. Want to?”

Fannar finally looked at him and gave a reserved smile. “Sure.”

Fannar followed as Noel led them to a better area to look over the rivers and the fork where they met. The path on the rivers’ surface wasn’t nearly as long and complete as it would be in the new year, but there were a lot of people taking advantage of it on their holiday break.

Like Noel had said, it usually opened in January. But this year was different, as if some sort of presence in the city had made it freeze over a little more quickly than usual.

A beautiful ice sprite, perhaps. That was one explanation.

They both stood quietly, watching families and couples enjoy themselves, skating the trail, cross-country skiing beside it, and a couple of people attempting snowshoeing.

Fannar seemed to be waiting for Noel to decide how their conversation was going to go, so Noel pushed forward, though he was nervous. “I still don’t understand why anyone would be interested in me. Why you would be—”

“I told you, I said—”

Noel put his mitt-covered hand on Fannar’s arm, effectively cutting him off. It was the first time Noel had been the one to initiate any kind of contact, and Fannar seemed stunned into silence about it.

“I know what you said,” Noel said kindly. “I’ve replayed it in my head for days, trying to make sense of it. It’s hard for me to believe, but I know it’s what
you
believe. And that you want to try. A new relationship. With me.” Noel paused and took a deep breath, nodding, more to himself than anyone. “And I do too.”

Fannar finally looked at him. His cocky smirk, which usually took up residence on his face, was completely gone, instead replaced by a welcoming smile. And for the first time, Noel took it for what it was—something truthful and all for him.

“We’ll work it out?” Fannar asked.

“Yes. I’m probably going to be bad at it and screw up, but if you’re patient with me, we’ll work it out.”

“I can do that,” Fannar said. “I’ve been doing that.”

“I know. And I’m still going to finish my degree. I’m not coming home yet. You need to know, in case it changes your mind.”

“I figured. So it’ll be long distance for a little while. I’m willing to put in effort.”

“That’s… good. I am too. Obviously.” They stood there, grinning dopily at each other, and Noel didn’t know what else to say or where they were going to go from here. He shook his head, laughed, and held out his hand. “Hey, you mentioned going on an ice-skating date with me. Want to? Like, right now?”

Fannar took his hand and looked like he was considering it—not the date part exactly, but what the date entailed. “You didn’t bring any skates with you.”

“They rent them out.”

Fannar made a hilariously snobby face. “Skates other people have worn? Do you mind if I magic ice blades to the bottom of my boots? I promise the humans won’t notice.”

Noel rolled his eyes but smiled. “I’m sure they won’t. Whatever you want.”

Fannar ended up renting a pair of skates too, and he didn’t make any more complaints about it. They made their way to the river and started an easy pace down the trail. The ice was fairly smooth: a small Zamboni had been used to clear it for skaters, but given it was a natural body of water, it wasn’t frozen perfectly. Of course Noel caught one of the bumps and nearly fell flat on his face, but with a bit of breeze and Fannar catching his elbow, he managed to stay upright. Fannar swung around to face him.

“You know,” Fannar said, leaning in close. “I never thought I’d be happy about a North Pole Christmas Crisis of Santa Claus going missing. But if anything, it brought me back to you. In truth, I’m grateful for it.”

Noel laughed. “I wouldn’t ever want that either, but I should probably thank my dad for it. Just this one time.”

“Yes, you probably should.”

“Can we stop talking about my dad?”

Fannar frowned. “I know you’re trying to take a break from the Pole, but you can’t pretend it doesn’t exist. What are you, human?”

Noel grinned. “It’s not that. It’s this.”

He leaned forward and brushed his lips against Fannar’s. He pulled back quickly, heart pounding so loud he could hear it in his ears. It might be cold out, but inside his mittens, his palms were sweating. This was stupid. Fannar doesn’t want—Noel shouldn’t have—

“Oh.” Fannar’s surprised expression melted into something sweet. “I get it. No talking about…. Nothing. Let’s not talk about anything. There are much better things to do.”

“Like skating?” Noel smirked.

“Shut up, you. You’re not funny.”