Something Old (37 page)

B
y the time they’d reached the doddy house, Katy had tearfully told Megan all about the breakup and had recovered somewhat from the initial shock of seeing Jake with Jessie. Her thoughts still skittered chaotically, but she was able to divert some of her frustrated energy into setting the table. Aware of Megan’s sympathetic glances, Katy set the plates on the vinyl tablecloth. “So much for spring,” she said sarcastically.

“It will come.”

Pressing a firm crease into a paper napkin, Katy remembered Megan’s earlier excitement over her upcoming mission trip. “I’m sorry I’ve ruined your news. You were so happy before—” She fumbled with the napkin.

“Don’t even—”

The door burst open, and they both turned to watch Lil enter. She plunked her purse and Bible on the counter. Then she placed both palms flat on the counter, looked at them, and burst into tears.

Katy’s mouth gaped, and the napkin she had been holding floated to the floor.

Megan rushed forward. “What on earth?”

“It’s Mom,” Lil gasped.

Katy went rigid, thinking the worst.

Lil waved a hand in front of her face. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know I was going to do that. It’s just…she won’t get out of bed. My dad doesn’t know what to do with her. I’ve never seen him so worried. So stressed.”

Relief flooded over Katy that Mrs. Landis wasn’t injured or worse. She’d never had to deal with anyone plagued with depression. “Has she been to the doctor?”

“No. She won’t go.” Lil swiped a hand across her eyes and met Katy’s gaze. “I know this is such bad timing, but she needs me. I told Dad I’d come home for a while to help out and try to get Mom out of her slump.”

Katy bit her lip, and her stomach knotted. What was she saying? Was Lil moving out? She searched her friend’s face, looking for some other explanation, but when she saw the grief etched on Lil’s countenance, she knew she hadn’t misunderstood. She remembered talking to Lil about her mother’s empty-nest syndrome and realized that this was probably the right thing for Lil to do. Wrong for Katy, but right for Lil and her family.

Earlier in church, Katy had thought that she’d already faced dead winter. How wrong she’d been. Within a short twenty-four hours, Katy had lost so much. First Jake. Now her roommate. Megan would soon be going off to her mission trip. It was hard to accept that Lil was actually moving out. She gripped the back of a chair, her mind searching for something to hold on to, something…anything stable. For in actuality, Lil was the motivating force of the trio of friends. Without her, Katy might shrivel up and…No, she wouldn’t. She could be just as strong as Lil. Even if she was afraid of the dark and afraid to be alone in the doddy house at night. She bit her lip. She would show Jake that she was a survivor, that she didn’t care if he flew back into Jessie’s arms.

Matters with Lil’s mom had to be serious for Lil to abandon her dream. Katy didn’t blame her. But if she moved out permanently, Katy wouldn’t be able to afford the doddy house. As it was, she could only afford a few more months on her present income.

Then a disturbing question shot through her mind. Was God punishing her for pursuing such a selfish dream to begin with? For testing Him? Would she end up moving back home, having failed at everything?

“I’m sorry, Katy. I saw what happened to you at church,” Lil said. “The pastor’s sermon was so good, and then all this happened. Where is spring in this?”

“I don’t know,” Katy replied.

Megan stirred uneasily. “He didn’t promise us spring today. His sermon was supposed to give us hope. Remember, he said faith is the beauty of winter.”

Katy and Lil exchanged glances, reading each other’s minds and wanting to tell Megan they weren’t in the mood for wishful thinking. Their friend couldn’t relate because she didn’t have any worries. Her parents allowed her to do whatever she wanted and paid for it, too. They meant well, but Megan hadn’t experienced much in the line of hard work or disappointment. Megan could always say the right thing, but was it heart knowledge or head knowledge?

Yet watching her now, just her sunshiny appearance lightened the room. She was always the exquisite butterfly, the epitome of spring manifest, and who could squash her optimism? If they did, then who would be there to brighten their lives? Someday life would challenge Megan. In the meantime, Katy couldn’t bring herself to put a tear in Megan’s wings.

Evidently, Lil’s thinking followed the same path, because she said, “Thanks.” Then she looked at Katy. “I hate to leave you like this. I haven’t talked to Jake, but I want to wring his neck. What was he thinking?”

Feeling her eyes narrow with a sudden surge of her own hatred, Katy tried to think of a nasty retort to describe Jake, but she got stuck in the dark recesses of her mind until Megan spoke again.

“I’ll stay with Katy tonight. It’s spring break! I have a meeting tomorrow about the mission trip. And I have some stuff planned with my folks, but I can stay tonight, for sure. We’ll pick up your car later or tomorrow. Then maybe I can stay another night, too.”

“See. I’ll be fine. You need to go,” Katy urged Lil with a wave of her hand. “Take lunch over for your dad, too.”

Lil turned and lifted the lid off a pot of stew. “I will take some. There’s plenty for all of us. You sure you’ll be alright?”

“Yes. Go.”

Lil started toward their bedroom. “I need to pack a few things. I’ll call you soon as I can.”

Katy turned and smiled at Megan, wishing her friend hadn’t volunteered to stay over, even though she needed a way to get her car. Always the optimist, Megan would make it her job to help Katy out of her grief, but all she really wanted was to crawl into bed and revisit those dark recesses of her mind. Even if she was afraid of the dark.

That night, Katy sprawled across the bed from Megan while they looked at color brochures of the Bangladesh mission project.

“Tell me about it. Everything.” Anything to get her mind off herself.

“I’ll be going through SEND Ministries. An acronym for Service, Evangelism, Nurture, and Discipleship. The trip is June 25 through July 11.”

“That’s not so long. I thought you were going to be gone all summer?”

Megan raised a blond eyebrow. “Then you haven’t been listening.”

Katy frowned. Had she tuned Megan out? “I’m sorry. I’m listening now.”

“Forgiven. So far there’s four of us going. They take up to eight. We’ll be involved in English Bible camps doing manuscript studies, worshiping, learning activities, and maybe some prayer walks.”

“Wow. So you’re not building huts?”

“No.” Megan tilted her head, studying her like she was a foreign specimen, and Katy felt ashamed that somehow she’d distanced herself from her friend, hadn’t been listening to her dreams.

“If this is an English camp, what language do they speak?”

Megan smiled. “Bangla.”

“Of course.” Katy smiled back then tried out the word. “Bangla. Where is it?”

“In Asia, between Burma and India.”

“You’re kidding! I thought you were going to Africa.”

Megan ruffled Katy’s hair. “You’re a mess.” They giggled, and then Megan said dreamily, “I wish you could go with me. You could. They still have four more openings. Will you think about it?”

Katy tried to imagine herself in Asia, teaching English Bible. There was no use even considering it; it wasn’t anything she felt interested in. “No. It’s not for me. Strange as it might sound to you, I’ve never had the desire to be any kind of missionary.”

Megan scrutinized her, and Katy inwardly squirmed. Some people had to carry on with life, working to pay the way for others to go do the mission work or live together in doddy houses. That’s what Katy was. A worker, she rationalized. She enjoyed working. She enjoyed seeing the completion of what she’d done with her own hands. “If I ever went on a mission trip, it would have to be some kind of cleanup. Like after a hurricane or tornado or something.”

Megan waved a slender finger at her. “I’ll remember you said that. With Mennonite Disaster Service, there’s lots of opportunities for cleanup. I’d like to do that myself sometime.”

They lay back on their pillows, silently studying the ceiling, each thinking their own thoughts. Then Katy said, “I wonder how Lil’s doing. I thought maybe she’d call by now.”

“Let’s call her.” Megan closed her brochure and placed it on the nightstand. She pulled out her phone and punched in a speed-dial number. The conversation was short with Megan mostly listening. Katy heard her end with a promise to pray.

“So?” Katy prompted.

“Her mom spent the day in bed, but Lil got her to eat. Lil said tomorrow she’s making a doctor’s appointment for her.” Megan’s expression turned contrite. “She was on the other line with Jake when I called.”

Katy felt as if she’d taken a blow to the stomach. “And?”

Megan shook her head. “She didn’t say anything about him. But she said her old room seems strange, and she misses it here.”

“I miss her, too.” Katy pushed Jake out of her mind and smiled. “Honestly, at first I thought one of us would murder the other one.”

Megan didn’t seem surprised. She teased, “But then your nonresistant teaching brought you to your senses.”

“Maybe. Mostly, I started to understand her. She has a lot of insecurities.”

“I know. If only she could realize how great she is,” Megan replied. Then she sighed. “We all have our insecurities.”

“You?” Katy gently probed.

Megan twisted a long shank of shiny hair and shot Katy a reproachful glance with her blue eyes. “You’re kidding, right?”

Stretching her arm beneath the coolness of her pillow, Katy yawned, but not from boredom. This conversation intrigued her because Megan was the one who always had it together. “But you’re so gorgeous and smart.”

Megan rolled on her back and stared at the lamp-lit ceiling. “This trip we’ve been talking about? After that, my folks expect me to find a job. You and Lil expect it, too. I’m part of that pact we made, living together and everything.”

“Don’t you want to?”

“Move in? Sure.” Then Megan yawned. “Wow, why are those so catchy? Anyway, not the job part. I’m not lazy. I’m just scared. August. That’s when I’ll have to go job hunting. Yuck. I have no clue what kind of job to get.”

Katy winced inwardly. If she didn’t get more work soon, there wouldn’t be any doddy house for Megan to worry about. “Something will turn up. Something that suits you.”

“You really think so?”

“Yes.”

Late the following afternoon, Katy stepped into the quiet doddy house and plopped an armful of mail onto the kitchen table. After breakfast, Megan had taken her for her car, and Katy had gone straight to work. In addition to her normal cleaning, she had tackled some dreaded tasks she’d been putting off, like defrosting Mrs. Kline’s ancient freezer and going through her storage boxes to locate her spring wreath.

Weary and discouraged, she glanced at the stove. Even though Lil hadn’t always been home when Katy was, it felt lonely to know that her friend wouldn’t be preparing their dinner. She glanced down the hall, her bed beckoning and tempting. She wanted to answer its call, curl under her covers, and sleep for at least a year. But that wasn’t reality. Her growling stomach was demanding nutrition. Anyway, if she went to bed too early, she might not be able to sleep later, when the house was creepier.

She trudged to the refrigerator and found some cold roast beef. She added Swiss cheese from the local Amish cheese house, store-bought tomato, and pickles, then headed to the kitchen table.

She rolled up the dark green shade and peered outside. The trees were budding, but she lived in perpetual winter. She noticed David’s shiny black sedan, and her interest perked. His car hadn’t been there earlier. He certainly was a contradiction, not the nice boy her mom always raved about, but hot-tempered and still holding a grudge toward her.

She took a bite of her sandwich, wishing things weren’t strained between them. She’d enjoyed his company, shared his obsession for cleanliness. That day at Megan’s dorm, her friend had pointed out that Katy had a temper. She had that in common with David, too. Feeling melancholy over all that had happened between them, she wondered if she might have grown to love him if Jake hadn’t returned.