Something Like Winter (19 page)

Waiting at the bottom of
the stairs was a beautiful girl, exchanging pleasant words with his
mother, to which Ella responded with smiles and happy little
laughs.

“
Stacy!” Tim said, not
hiding his surprise. “Come on up.”

His mother made a face,
like he was being naughty and she approved. The idea hadn’t even
occurred to him.

“
Not bad,” Stacy said when
she was in his room, walking around and inspecting the
details.

They had gotten along well
over the past month. Ever since her drunken pass at him—or vice
versa—she had treated him with a little more respect. And she never
mentioned Ben. Done looking around, she sat on the edge of the bed.
Tim seriously hoped she wasn’t here to take him up on that
offer.

“
What’s up?” he
asked.

“
Darryl is planning to ask
Krista to the prom.”

Tim shrugged. “She doesn’t
belong to me. I’m not going to get jealous or anything.”

Stacy fixed him with a
patient expression. “Darryl,” she repeated. “Think about
it.”

True, it was odd for
Darryl. He usually chose from the circle of girls who wished they
were popular, girls inevitably dazzled by his status and then
dumped as soon as they put out.

“
Oh.”

“
Exactly,” Stacy said. “I
guess he’s looking for a new conquest, something more of a
challenge, because we all know what happens on prom
night.”

“
Should I have a talk with
him?” But Tim already knew what she was asking.

“
Do you think talking to
him would make a difference?” Stacy made a show of checking her
nails. “Krista still raves about you. A lot. I know men live for
the thrill of the chase, so I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but
she regrets that you weren’t her first. I mean, you still could be.
She hasn’t made any mistakes, but I know firsthand how pushy Darryl
can be.”

“
Oh yeah?”

“
Yes.”

And even though Krista had
never meant that much to him, Tim hated the idea of Darryl plying
her with depth-chargers or some other kind of alcohol before
putting his toadish hands all over her. So yes, Tim would take
Krista to the prom, take her in any way she saw fit. He would smile
at her, whisper sweet words into her ear, and make her feel like a
princess—but he wouldn’t feel a thing. He knew now that he
couldn’t.

* * * * *

Despite his resolve, Tim
still felt a spark the next time he ran into Ben. They hadn’t seen
each other since the talent show two months ago. Just the sight of
him was enough to conjure up conflicting emotions. Ben was wearing
a pale green polo shirt with an ice cream cone stitched on the left
side of his chest. That he had a summer job now made Tim feel
empty, like they were already strangers.

Ben seemed distracted,
looking at the houses beyond the bike path. He hadn’t yet noticed
Tim or the two people he was with. Bryce was on his left. Tim could
tell from his low chuckle that he had noticed Ben. On his right was
Bryce’s cousin Trey, visiting for the summer and also the one to
blame for them walking. They were on their way back from buying
weed, and Trey was jittery, not wanting them to drive in case they
were pulled over.

“
Well, well. If it isn’t
the village faggot!” Bryce rumbled.

Ben was startled, noticing
them at last. First he looked up at Bryce. Then he saw Tim. When
their eyes met, Tim tried to send him a telepathic message.
Just keep walking. Don’t stop and don’t
respond.

And maybe Ben would have if
Bryce hadn’t blocked his way. “What are you doing out here? Looking
for some cock to suck?”

Tim clenched his jaw, but
it fell open when he heard Ben’s response.

“
You’ll have to pull your
skanky girlfriend off the football team if you want that. I’m
definitely not interested.”

Tim nearly laughed, but
then Bryce grabbed Ben by the shirt and yanked him forward. This
wasn’t good. Not good at all.

“
What did you say?” Bryce
shouted, spittle splattering Ben’s face.

“
Leave him alone,” Tim
said, moving forward to break it up.

“
He called my girlfriend a
slut!” Bryce snarled.

“
Technically,” Ben replied,
“I said she was skanky. She’s also a brain-dead snob, but I guess
that’s your common bond, isn’t it?”

Bryce dropped Ben, causing
him to stumble, and hauled back his fist. Tim barely got there in
time, pushing himself between them.

Bryce eyed him like a bull
seeing red. “What the fuck?”

“
Forget him,” Tim said.
“Let’s just go.”

Bryce considered him a
second longer, then with surprising speed, shoved Tim aside with
his left arm and brought a right hook around. But Tim wasn’t the
target. He heard a sound like a fleshy thunderclap before Ben hit
the ground.

That piece of shit! Tim
leapt like a tiger, his insides a volcano. He got two punches to
Bryce’s face while he was still airborne, and had only landed on
his feet for a second before a meaty fist crunched into his nose.
Seeing stars, Tim punched blindly, connecting with what felt like
Bryce’s thick neck. Then his right eye closed instinctively before
being struck twice. It was like getting hit by a car! Tim put
everything into his next swing, knowing he didn’t have too many
left, and—bull’s-eye!—hit Bryce on the side of the head, his class
ring connecting with his temple.

Bryce groaned, swayed on
his feet, then hit the ground. Tim wasn’t leaving anything to
chance. He leapt on top of Bryce and kept on swinging.

“
Get off my cousin!” he
heard Trey yell from behind, but no one tried to pull him off. He
turned to see Ben plowing into Trey. Unlike Bryce, Trey was just a
normal-sized guy, but Ben was smaller than most. Tim winced as Trey
elbowed Ben in the face, knocking him down. He was on his feet when
Ben counterattacked, punching Trey in the nuts. Ben was still
kicking, punching, and screaming when Tim grabbed his
wrist.

“
Run!”

For once Ben listened. They
took off down the path, this time staying together. A couple of
twists and turns and they were in familiar territory. Tim followed
Ben’s lead, and before long they were standing in the Bentleys’
driveway, clutching at their stomachs and trying to catch their
breath. Tim raised his head at the same time Ben did, their eyes
meeting. Then they laughed.

“
Thanks,” Ben
panted.

Tim shook his head
ruefully. “You and your big mouth.”

Ben chuckled, his puppy-dog
eyes wet with joy before they softened. “Do you want to come
inside?”

Yeah. More than anything in
the world. But the bloody nose and the soon-to-be bruises were
nothing like the pain Tim had felt that night in his backyard. And
Ben, so much better than he was, so fearless with his love, must
have suffered even more. Tim would only hurt him again, hurt them
both. The judgmental world around them hadn’t changed. Nothing
had.

“
Goodbye,
Benjamin.”

Despite the heat of summer,
when Tim turned away, he was certain he could feel the chill of
winter inside his chest.

* * * * *

The phone kept ringing. Tim
rolled over and put a pillow over his head to drown out the noise,
wincing at the pressure on his bruises. His nose was the worst,
swollen up like an apple in the center of his face. The answering
machine kicked in, and a previous version of himself—sounding cocky
and self-assured because the world still belonged to him—asked the
caller to leave a message.

“
Look,” Stacy said after
the beep, “you can either pick up the phone, or I’m coming over
there.”

Tim sighed, tossed the
pillow away, and grabbed the phone.

“
What?”

Stacy recovered quickly.
“You know you’ve committed social suicide, right?”

Tim sighed. “I’m hanging
up.”

“
Wait!”

Despite his better
judgment, Tim kept the phone pressed to his ear. “Just tell me what
you want.”

“
I want to know the truth.
You and Ben—”

“
We were friends.” Tim had
already given thought to this. He wouldn’t be able to salvage his
reputation at school. It was Kansas all over again, but he had to
do everything he could to keep attention away from Ben. “His dad
knows my dad, so when I first moved here, we hung out a couple of
times.”

“
And then?”

“
And then school started,
and I had my social status to think of.”

“
Which you should have done
yesterday before you jumped Bryce.”

“
Maybe,” Tim said. “Look, I
didn’t want to see Ben get beat up. He’s an okay guy, even if he is
gay. There’s nothing more to it. If anything, I probably stopped
Bryce from killing him and getting arrested.”

The line was quiet. Then
Stacy said, “What are you going to do? When summer is over I
mean.”

“
Go to a different school.
Maybe a private one. I don’t know. I won’t be back.”

“
That’s probably for the
best.” Stacy almost sounded sad. “I’d fix this for you if I could,
but even Darryl is screaming for your head.”

“
I figured.” Tim sighed.
“And Krista?”

“
Well, it’s hardly going to
work, is it? She either has to lose all her friends and change
schools to be with you, or she moves on.”

Tim closed his eyes. “Which
do you think she’ll do?”

“
Whatever I tell her to,”
Stacy said matter-of-factly.

“
I’m not going to be
around, so—” He let the sentence hang.

“
I’ll plant the seed in her
vacant little head,” Stacy said, “but I’m not breaking up with her
for you.”

Oh well. Worth a shot. Tim
had done it once before. He could do it again.

“
Well,” Stacy said, “I
guess this is goodbye.”

“
Wait! I need a favor. I
mean, I figure you owe me.”

Stacy scoffed. “I don’t owe
anything to anyone.”

But Tim had to try anyway.
“Just make sure they don’t come down on Ben.”

“
Do you really think I can
control what my boyfriend does?”

“
Yes!” Tim gave an
exasperated laugh. “You have us all wrapped around your little
finger. So will you?”

“
Why should I?” Stacy
pressed.

Tim swallowed. He would
have to gamble, once last time. “You know why.”

This time the line was
quiet for so long that Tim wondered if she had hung up on him. “I
guess Molly Desai was right about the cute ones.”

“
Don’t tell Krista.” He
didn’t know why it mattered. Maybe because he didn’t want her to
think that everything between them had been an act.

“
The last thing I need is
her crying about that too.” Stacy paused. “I suppose beating up a
gay guy is like hitting a girl. At least I’ll convince the boys of
that and make them feel like wimps if the thought crosses their
minds. They won’t touch Ben unless they want to be emasculated in
the eyes of the school.”

“
Sounds good.” It was the
best anyone could do. Hopefully Ben would make it through his
senior year without any more trouble. “Thanks.”

“
Consider it a parting
gift. For Ben, more than you, I suppose. Salvaging your social
status is beyond even me.”

“
I can take care of
myself.”

“
Not if Bryce gets a second
chance,” Stacy said. “So what are you going to do with yourself,
Mr. Wyman?”

“
Keep on running.” Tim
sighed into the receiver. “It’s what I do best.”

__________

Part Two:

Austin, 1999

__________

Chapter Twelve

Tim traced his finger along
Travis Kingston’s back, playing connect-the-dots with the freckles
scattered across his shoulders. The sheets were pulled down to his
waist, the morning sun already hot. Travis stirred and yawned,
running a hand through his mop of dark brown hair. Tim could
imagine him rolling over, greeting the day and stealing a kiss,
regardless of morning breath. Instead Travis jolted awake, like he
always did, flipping over and sitting upright.

He looked down at Tim, who
almost mouthed the words along with him. “We shouldn’t have done
that.”

“
But you were drunk,” Tim
finished for him, flopping on his back with a sigh.

“
I was!”

“
So was I. So was the whole
damn fraternity, but you don’t see them in bed with us, do
you?”

“
Don’t be disgusting.” As
Travis got out of bed, Tim checked him out and wished, just once,
that they could have a normal morning. That as closeted as they
were, they could recognize the door was locked, their fraternity
brothers were sleeping off their drink, and this private moment was
perfect for a little fun.