“Go check,” Jason said, reading him perfectly.
“Two seconds,” William said. “I promise.”
He rushed to the living room and picked up his phone. Sure enough, it was from Lily. And something was wrong. Or maybe it was right. He couldn’t decide! He reread the message just to make sure he wasn’t mistaken.
My water broke!
He started walking back toward the bedroom to tell Jason, changed his mind, and went for the front door instead. Then he remembered how far away he was from Houston and texted back.
Call an ambulance!
Relax
, came the response.
My roommate drove me to the hospital before it happened. We’re already there. I didn’t want to text until I was certain.
I’m on my way
,
he responded.
He turned in a circle, trying to decide what to do. The phone rumbled again.
Remember to breathe.
William chuckled madly, then hurried to the bedroom. Jason was sitting up, wearing a naughty expression that turned to one of concern. “Everything okay?”
“The baby… It’s happening!” William said. “I’ve gotta go! I need to borrow your car too. Thanks!” That’s all the time he had. He grabbed his shirt and started putting it back on while returning to the living room.
Jason followed a second later. “You’re driving to Houston?” he said. “At this hour?”
William looked up while pulling on his shoes. “Yeah! I don’t want to miss Daisy being born!” He had taken a week off work at the end of the month just so he could be there. God, he hoped everything went okay! What if there were complications? He rose, noticing Jason still standing there. So much for their romantic night. He hadn’t met her yet, but so far Daisy had terrible timing. “Sorry,” he said. “I’ll make it up to you.”
Jason remained pensive. “Can I go with you?”
William stopped. “Seriously?”
“Never mind. I get that this is private. Just be sure to send me a text and maybe a—”
“Yes, you can come along!” William smiled, near tears. “Are you kidding? I’m surprised that you want to!”
“Of course I want to. You’re about to become a father!”
“Oh my god!” William said, head reeling. “We need to leave right away.”
“Okay… Um.” Jason went to the bedroom, reappearing wearing a pair of flip-flops.
“Let’s go!” William said.
They made it to the door before Jason paused. “I forgot something.”
“Hurry!”
He didn’t understand the delay, nor did he wait. He was almost at the car when Jason caught up with him.
“Give me the keys.”
“I can drive,” William said.
“You’re too emotional. And you drive ridiculously slow.”
Sad but true, and right now all that mattered was getting to Houston in time. He tossed Jason the keys, got in the passenger seat, and felt frustrated by every stop sign and traffic light. Being on the highway helped, although he kept looking at the speedometer, feeling they weren’t going fast enough. “A little more,” he kept urging. “Just a little faster.”
“I’m going ten over the limit,” Jason said. “Any faster and we’ll get pulled over. Besides, doesn’t labor take a really long time?”
“Usually,” William said, reaching for his phone. He sent a quick text.
Getting close to I-10. Are you dilated?
The response was slow.
5 cm
“Jesus,” he breathed.
Slow down!
Tell your daughter that!
“Everything okay?” Jason asked.
“I’m going to miss it,” William said, feeling antsy. He considered the road ahead, and then checked behind them. Not many cars out at this hour. “Go faster. Please.”
Jason’s expression said he thought this was a bad idea, but he complied. They were still pushing ninety half an hour later when flashing lights invaded the rear window.
“Shit,” Jason hissed.
“Think you can outrun him?” William said, only half-kidding.
They pulled over. A small eternity seemed to pass before an officer appeared at the window.
“Any reason you’re driving so fast?” he asked.
“There’s a baby on the way,” Jason explained.
The officer hunched over, pointing his flashlight at William. Then he used it to search the backseat. “Unless she’s in the trunk, you’re pulling my leg.”
“It’s my girlfriend,” William said, leaning over Jason’s lap. “She lives in Houston. I’m in Austin. She’s in labor right now.” He held out the phone as evidence. He couldn’t tell if the officer looked at it, but the flashlight did illuminate the paramedic patch on his arm. Would it be tasteless to point out the Coast Guard sticker on the back window?
“My wife was in labor for sixteen hours,” the officer said. “You could probably drive back to Austin, take a nap, and still not have missed anything.”
“Yes, sir,” William said as politely as possible. “It’s just that she’s pretty far along already.”
“License and registration,” the officer replied. Damn it! Jason handed over his license, William passing him the rest of the paperwork. The officer hobbled back to his car and about five years later, returned again with a ticket. “Seventy-five is fast enough. Best of luck.”
“Sorry,” William said after they were on the way again. “I’ll pay for everything.”
“It’s no big deal,” Jason said, not even sounding annoyed.
“Sorry I called her my girlfriend. I thought—”
“I get it,” Jason said. “It was easier than trying to explain it all.”
“Yeah.” Ten minutes later, leg bouncing with agitation, William checked the speedometer. “We can go eighty, right? Nobody drives the speed limit.”
Jason pushed down on the accelerator until the GPS on his phone notified them of the upcoming exit. When they left the highway, they navigated deserted streets, finally reaching the hospital.
“Where should I go?” Jason asked when they pulled into the parking lot. “Emergency entrance?”
“Yeah,” William said. As soon as they were close, his hand was on the door. “Can you let me out here?”
Jason nodded. William waited no more. He was out of the car and running to the entrance, only skidding to a halt when in front of the admissions desk.
“What can I help you with?” the nurse asked, confused by the uniform.
“Wife is in labor,” he said. Great, now they were married! “Lily Cruise. I hope I’m not too late.”
The nurse smiled and checked her computer. “I don’t think you are.”
Music to his ears! He was directed to the maternity ward, asked to put on scrubs, and allowed into a room. Lily was there, face contorted with pain, and when she saw him she reached out her hand. For a second he thought back to the girl he had once walked down halls with in high school, never imagining they would find themselves in this situation. Then he took her hand, and she damn near broke his fingers.
The rest was terrifying, exhausting, tedious, and more than anything else, magical. William had seen so many acts of bravery during his time in the Coast Guard, but none that compared to this. When he finally heard his daughter cry, he did too, because there she was. Daisy, his little miracle, squirming on her mother’s stomach. He felt proud as he cut the umbilical cord, certain this was his greatest achievement, and felt envious when Daisy was placed in her mother’s arms. He couldn’t wait to hold her, shaken by the wonder of it all. He knew all too well that death was an inevitable part of this world. Sometimes it occurred spontaneously. How wonderful, then, that the same could be said of life. Lily seemed to have forgotten he was there, her sole priority the baby. He stepped back, content to watch them as Daisy grew calm, closed her eyes, and fell asleep, not quite ready to face the world just yet.
* * * * *
“Six pounds, four ounces!” William announced when he found Jason in the waiting area. Then he laughed, because Jason was still dressed in his pajamas. “What are you wearing?”
“Shut up,” Jason said. “I saw a guy come in wearing less than this. So everything is okay?”
“Not okay. Great! Come up to the maternity ward and see.”
Jason rose, looking a little uncertain. “Are you sure I should be here at all?”
“I want you here!” He put an arm around his shoulders and guided him down the hall. “She’s so beautiful. I can’t wait for you to see her. Actually…” He stopped and pulled out his cell phone. “Lily made me promise not to show this to anyone because of how she looks. Like anyone is a super model after giving birth.”
He passed the phone to Jason, who took it and stared at the screen.
“Isn’t the little cap cute?” William said, craning to see. “God she’s beautiful! She has Lily’s skin, so hopefully no sunburns. The dark hair might still change. I’m hoping for blonde so she looks a little more like me. Not that Lily doesn’t have great hair!” He looked up to see Jason’s chin trembling. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” he said, handing back the phone and wiping at his eyes. “I don’t really want to talk about it.”
The baby or the reason he was so emotional? “Okay.”
“Here,” Jason said, pushing a small brown bag into his free hand. “I didn’t have time to wrap it. Sorry. Just don’t expect much.”
William had a blurry memory of Jason having the bag with him during the initial rush to the car. He’d been too worried and distracted to ask what it was. He opened it and took out two pink booties made of yarn. They didn’t look store-bought. “Did you make these?”
Jason shrugged. “I figured if you could learn to sew, I could learn to knit. One of them is a little lopsided. I’ll never tease you about sewing again, because this was hard. I’m pretty sure I’m done.”
“They’re perfect,” William said. He looked up, noticing hair messier than usual and eyes tired from lack of sleep. Jason had been so cool about all of this and put up with too many sacrifices. William hadn’t been around on many of his recent days off, just so he could visit Lily in Houston to check on her progress. Jason hadn’t complained, even when driving to a far-away hospital in the middle of the night and getting a speeding ticket on the way. Now his boyfriend had a child with another person, and Jason’s response to all this turmoil had been to learn to knit, just so he could make booties. Best boyfriend ever? “Thank you. For everything.” He decided then that the rest could wait. Daisy was healthy, Lily was more than capable, and both of them were in safe hands. It was Jason he was worried about. “Let’s get out of here. I’ll take you to breakfast.”
“Wearing this?”
“Then I’ll take you shopping.”
Jason managed a smile. “I texted Michelle. She said we could stay there, and that she would loan me some of Greg’s clothes. Not that they’ll fit.”
Emma’s parents. William didn’t know them well. They lived in Houston, which was practical, and he knew that Jason had deep feelings for Michelle, who had been his caseworker when he was a teenager. “Think they’ll be awake?”
“It’s nine in the morning,” Jason said. “I sure hope so!”
“Wow! I had no idea.”
“Yeah. We could go there, eat some cereal.”
“Sure!” William looked down the hallway toward the maternity ward, already wanting to see his daughter again.
“It’s okay,” Jason said. “You want to stay, right? I’ll probably just crash anyway, so if you’re not tired, no point in you coming along.”
William looked him over, worried again. “I’ll go with you.”
“Seriously.” Jason hugged him, kissed his neck, and started backing away. “You’re needed here. Call me when you want to be picked up. Okay?”
“Okay,” William said, still uneasy. “I love you.”
Jason swallowed, expression strained. “I love you too.” He turned and hurried down the hall. William looked down at the tiny booties in his hands, wishing more than anything that he could be two places at once.
Chapter Twenty-six
William found himself in one of Houston’s more affluent neighborhoods. The houses here were impressive, bigger than those where Kelly’s family or even Ben and Tim lived. They weren’t sprawling mansions or multi-million dollar homes like celebrities own, but they were at the upper limit of practical square-footage. The taxi pulled up to such a house, prompting him to double-check the address that had been texted to him. William’s eyes burned as he did so.
He was exhausted. Shortly after Jason left the hospital, Lily’s family had shown up. Adrenaline kept William awake, as did a fevered excitement that he suspected felt a lot like drugs. This was pure though, without consequence. He shook hands, accepted hugs, relayed the same information over and over. Then he stood outside the nursery next to other beaming fathers and video-conferenced with his mother so she could see what his mind still struggled to comprehend. The delicate little life everyone was fawning over—he had helped create it!
Eventually both mother and child went to sleep, and he realized that he needed to do the same. That’s when he called the taxi and had it bring him to this address. The afternoon was late, and he had run out of energy hours ago. He paid the driver and went up to the door. A tall woman with long brown hair answered his knock. Her expression was welcoming as she gestured for him to enter.
“You must be William. I’ve heard so much about you!”
“I’ve heard a lot about you too,” he said. “You’re Jason’s hero.”
Michelle smiled. “Funny, he says the same thing about you.”
The inside of the house matched the outside. Vaulted ceilings, open rooms, and furnishings that appeared both comfortable and stylish.
“Are you hungry?” Michelle asked. “Jason is out grocery shopping with Greg and the boys, but I can whip you up a snack.”
“I’m still too jittery to eat,” William said, “but thank you.”
“Congratulations on becoming a father!” Michelle said, leading him to the living room. He didn’t see a television. Just two comfortable chairs that faced a couch, a glass coffee table between them. He waited for Michelle to choose where she wanted to sit—the couch—before he sat across from her.
“I still can’t believe it’s true!” he said
“I had no trouble believing it with any of my three kids.” Michelle chuckled. “When you give birth, you
feel
just how real it is.”
“I bet.” William looked at the framed photos on the fireplace mantle. Most were of Michelle and a handsome man, or one of three kids—two boys and a girl he recognized as Emma. He was surprised by the family photo of Ben and Tim, Jason standing between them. Seeing his boyfriend made his stomach clench with concern. “Is Jason okay?”
Michelle’s smile froze. “In what way?”
“I don’t know,” William said, struggling to articulate. “At the hospital, he seemed upset. Or maybe he was just emotional. God knows I was.”
Michelle’s expression became reserved. “This is a challenging situation for him.”
“How so? I mean, I can think of a lot of reasons, but I’m not sure how he really feels about the baby. Or me.”
“You can ask him.”
“I will! I just wish I didn’t have to. I’ve put him through so much lately. The last thing I want is for him to think I’m clueless about his feelings.”
Michelle’s brow crinkled. Then she exhaled. “Greg, my husband, works in real estate. He’s very good at it too, enough that he was invited to speak at a conference in London. At the time, I had never really been out of the country, except Canada to visit my grandparents. Never across the ocean though. Once we could afford to travel that far, I had three little ones, and I wasn’t brave enough to put them on an international flight. I wanted Greg to go without me, which he did. When he came back, London was all he could talk about. The pubs, fish and chips, the differences in the language. He even went to the Tate Gallery and shopped on Oxford Street. Do you have any idea how difficult it is getting him to go to a museum or shopping with me?” Michelle shook her head but laughed. “He had a great time, and before long I was sick of hearing about it.”
“You felt like he was bragging?”
“Not at all! He was simply happy, and I was happy for him. Mostly. I started resenting that he’d had this amazing experience without me. He’s my partner. We do everything together. I don’t need him with me every minute, but the big experiences, we go through those together. Usually.”
William leaned forward. “Is that how Jason feels? Left out?”
Michelle shrugged as if she didn’t know. “You’ll have to ask him.”
Fair enough. He needed to have this conversation with Jason, not his… aunt? His attention moved back to the photos on the mantle. “Are you related to Ben?”
Michelle smiled. “He’s my brother-in-law. And before you wonder if Tim is my brother, ask yourself if there’s any family resemblance.”
William did so. “Ben was married before, wasn’t he?”
“That’s right. To my brother.”
“Is that why he hasn’t married Tim? It keeps bugging me, because they’re crazy about each other, so what are they waiting for?”
“I don’t think it has anything to do with Jace.” Michelle pursed her lips. “I’m not sure why either. I’ve badgered Ben about it, but he keeps saying they’re happy the way they are. Makes me feel old-fashioned.”
“Me too,” William said.
Michelle’s eyebrows shot up. “So you’re the marrying type?”
He chuckled nervously. “Maybe someday. But yes.”
“Anyone in mind?”
His cheeks flushed. “Take a wild guess!”
“I’m flattered, but I’m already taken.”
“That’s not what I meant!” he said, feeling even more embarrassed, but then he saw she was kidding. They talked a little longer, and while it had nothing to do with the conversation, his eyelids kept shutting no matter how hard he fought against it.
“Why don’t you take a nap?” Michelle suggested. “I’ve already got Jason set up in the guest room. I’m sure he’ll wake you when he’s back.”
The offer sounded too appealing to refuse. Once she showed him to the room and gave him his privacy, he only had the strength to take off his shoes and shirt before he fell onto the bed and was instantly asleep.
* * * * *
When William opened his eyes again, the window was black, just enough of an ambient glow outside to see his surroundings. He was still on top of the bed, but half the comforter had been pulled over to cover him. He shoved it off and forced himself to get up, his body stiff and aching from being in the same position for too long.
But how long? He checked the alarm clock on one of the side tables. Nine at night! He groaned, always feeling disoriented when his sleep schedule got out of whack. He picked up his EMT shirt from the floor. It didn’t smell very fresh. He probably didn’t either. His stomach growled with hunger, and he felt fuzzy-headed when he walked down the hall. He located a guest bathroom and made use of it before continuing his search for signs of life. Voices led him to the kitchen. Michelle was lecturing a teenage boy about homework but stopped when she noticed him standing in the doorway. The teenage boy glowered at him, then stomped off.
“No more video games!” Michelle called after him. “I mean it!” The stern expression disappeared when she turned to William again. “I was wondering if we’d see you tonight. Jason tried waking you, but you wouldn’t budge. He even put a mirror under your nose to see if you were still breathing.”
William laughed, hoping that wasn’t true. “I guess I needed sleep.”
“What about food?”
“I’m starving,” he admitted.
“We have leftover Mexican.”
He would have eaten boiled raccoon if that’s what she put on the plate. Instead he got four crispy tacos loaded with ground beef, tomatoes, lettuce, and cheese. He came very close to drooling as she prepared it. Only the distant sound of an electric guitar spared him. “Is that Jason playing?”
“Yes,” Michelle said, adding a spoonful of salsa to each taco. “Greg insisted he wanted to learn how to play, so I gave the guitar to him as a birthday present. He’s barely touched it. Soda okay?”
William nodded, accepting the plate and a cold bottle.
“Jason will be glad to see you. Why don’t you go eat with him? He’s in the rumpus room.”
“The what?”
Michelle smiled. “That’s what Greg likes to call it. Just follow the music.”
He wandered toward the back of the house and found a large family room. A huge wall-mounted television was muted and displaying music videos, the entertainment center beneath it full of electronic decks. Two huge speakers sat in each corner. The remaining space was partially taken up by a U-shaped couch big enough to seat ten, a wet bar on one wall, and the sort of mess he expected in a house where teenagers lived. Jason was sitting cross-legged on the carpet, brow creased in concentration as he strummed the guitar, pausing to adjust the small amplifier next to him. When he noticed William enter, he started to set aside the instrument.
“Keep playing,” William said, lifting the plate to show him. “I won’t be good for conversation until I’m done stuffing my face.”
Jason smiled, a reassuring sight, and kept playing. William sat on the couch facing his direction. Then he shamelessly devoured each taco like he was participating in an eating contest. Jason noticed, picking up the pace of the music as if to egg him on. When he recognized the song as
Wipe Out
by the Beach Boys, he nearly spit the food out in his need to laugh.
“I hadn’t eaten since yesterday!” he said in his defense.
Jason stopped playing and tilted his head to one side. “How’s Daisy? Is everything okay?”
William nodded and set down the empty plate to check his phone. No new texts or calls, which was a good sign. “How are you? Is it fun being back here?”
“In Houston?” Jason asked. “Austin is home now, if that’s what you mean.”
“I meant hanging out with Michelle and her family.” William joined Jason on the carpet. “This is like visiting relatives, right?”
Jason thought about it while plucking at the guitar. Then he laughed. “I’m not sure. I never had many relatives. Maybe this is what it’s like. Honestly, I’ve only been to this house a few times on holidays. July Fourth and once for Thanksgiving. I love this family, even though Michelle and Greg only eat organic. I couldn’t find any chocolate either. What’s up with that? And their sons act like I’m here to steal their stuff.”
William nodded. “Sounds like relatives. A weird mixture of the familiar and the strange.”
“Comfortable and yet awkward,” Jason added. His eyes lit up. “Hey, now I know what it’s like!”
God he was cute! William flopped onto his back, resting his head in Jason’s lap. The guitar was set aside to better accommodate him. “Did you get any sleep?”
“A lunch nap.”
“Wanna go back to bed with me?”
Jason laughed. Then sorrow crept into his expression, even though he tried to hide it. “Maybe later.”
William studied him, refusing to let the mood remain somber. “I think I get it. I’m a dad now. There’s nothing hot about being a dad. I’ve lost all my sex appeal. Admit it. You can barely stand to look at me.”
“No way,” Jason said, stroking his cheek. “You’re a total DILF.”
“DILF?” Then he got it and grinned. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“Good.”
“You know I love you, right?”
Jason nodded, expression serious.
William pressed on. “I’ve been distracted lately, but I’m going to make sure we have a lot of time together. I swear.”
Jason shook his head. “This is where you’re needed.”
“Right now, but when we’re back in Austin—”
“I’ve been thinking about that,” Jason said, his hand retreating. “You should move to Houston.”
“What?” William sat upright, turned to face him, and waited for the punch line.
“They need you,” Jason clarified, eyes guarded. “Daisy needs you.”
“And I’ll be there,” William said. “I’ll drive out on weekends and holidays or for emergencies. It’s going to take a lot of patience from you, but I know where I belong. I don’t need to move to Houston.”
“You do,” Jason said, getting to his feet. William did the same, wondering if they were going somewhere, but Jason only needed to pace. “I didn’t have a father growing up and look what happened to me.”
William’s stomach sank. Now he understood. “If something happened to Lily, I would take Daisy. She also has two sets of grandparents, and her two uncles. My family is big enough that she’ll never be put into foster care.”
“It’s more than that!” Jason said, turning to face him. “I saw what my mother went through trying to raise me on her own—the strain that caused her. Why do you think she started drinking? Or let that abusive asshole into our lives? Just think about that happening to Daisy. Imagine if Lily dates the wrong guy and he hurts your daughter.”
The idea alone was enough to summon up anger. “Lily is too smart to… I’m not saying your mother wasn’t, but they’re different people and this is a different time. We have a better support network and—”