Authors: Emma Hillman
His thumb started a circling motion, bumping into her nipple every so often. She
felt her legs tense, her mouth parting as if she needed more air. Then he pinched the
distended nub and the moment was lost. She rammed her left elbow backwards,
catching him in the chest.
His breath woofed out and he swore, “Fuck! What the hell was that?”
46
“You hurt me,” she snapped back. “I’m tired of being hurt!”
“Oh.” He blinked. She hadn’t liked that? “Are your breasts that sensitive then?”
She refused to answer and only slid further away from him, nearly falling down
the other side of the bed. She quickly managed to right herself, but he was faster than
her. He grabbed her flailing hand and pulled on it. She found herself flat on her back
once again, Nick’s body looming above her and she couldn’t help her reaction: she
shrieked.
“Shh!” He clamped a hand over her mouth. “Are you crazy? What’s wrong with
you?”
She slapped at his hand and any parts of his body she could reach, but he
appeared unfazed. Of course, for an ex-football player, her hits probably felt more like
mosquito bites than anything else. She cursed at him but he couldn’t understand what
she was saying. Damn it!
Her knees jerked up but he caught the movement and sat on her thighs,
effectively blocking her. “Leah, come on! I won’t hurt you.” He watched her eyes flash
and relented, “Okay, okay, I won’t hurt you any more. Promise. I don’t know what came
over me earlier, I wasn’t myself! Please believe me, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m sorry,
I’m sorry.” Her head shaking from left to right, she barely heard him. She didn’t care if
he was sorry. It had still happened. He’d used her! “I’m sorry,” Nick tried again. He
leaned down, his face just above hers. “I’m so sorry, believe me. I need you to believe
me, Leah.” His voice caught and he drew a deep breath.
She stared into his eyes and grew faint. He looked near tears. Apollo Hamilton
was crying. What was wrong with that picture? She watched as he moved off of her and
47
sat on the side of the bed, his head clasped in his hands. She was free; she could move
away and find another bedroom. She probably could even call a taxi and get a hotel
room or a ride to the airport. Right? Instead, she sat up and moved until she found
herself beside him. She laid a hand on his back and peered at his face. “Nick?”
“I’m sorry,” he repeated for what seemed the hundredth time. “I didn’t mean to
hurt you, I swear!”
“I know.” And as soon as the words came out, she knew they were true. She
might not have known him long, but she knew he wouldn’t usually behave in such a
way. He’d always been a perfect gentleman with her, always complimenting her or even
telling those kids off after they’d managed to hurt her with their belittling comments.
“Do you really?” He wiped his cheeks and looked up at her.
“I don’t know what Kevin told you but…you weren’t yourself earlier, I got that. It
still hurt though. I understand you love her and I know it’s got nothing to do with me, but
why am I here? Why are we even dating if you’re in love with your best friend’s wife?”
His eyes widened at her words. She knew? “No, no, that’s not it.”
Leah snorted. “Sure, and I’m the Pope. Nick, I’m not that stupid. I can see what’s
happening.”
“No.” He shook his head. “That’s not it. I mean, yes, I love her. As a friend. And I
know she’s married. It…let’s just say we have a past together.”
“So, what happened earlier?” Leah crossed her arms over her chest. He wasn’t
telling her the whole truth; she could see it in his eyes.
“She’s pregnant.”
“Oh.” She blinked. “That’s good news.”
48
“It is. It is.” He had to remind himself that. It was good news. They deserved it, he
knew that.
“So, why did you run away?”
He hesitated before saying, “It’s a long story.”
Leah stared back at him then with a wry smile, stood up. “I see.”
“Where are you going?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. I should get dressed.”
“Why? It’s the middle of the night.” Nick was suddenly behind her, his hands
pulling on her shoulders. He turned her around until she was in his embrace, his arms
heavy around her waist. “Stay here.”
She sighed. “I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“Let me make it up to you,” he whispered just before brushing his mouth on hers.
“Please,” he added, his tongue tracing the crease of her lips.
And in the end, she found she was just as weak as before his explanation. She
gave in and wrapped her arms around his neck, holding tight.
49
She might have been weak where he was concerned, but even she knew she’d
be in even bigger trouble if she let him make love to her. Pulling away from his kiss, she
fought until he let go of her, his hands falling at his sides. He looked defeated, his hair
spiking wildly on his head. “I’m sorry,” he repeated once more.
“I know, Nick, it’s okay.”
“It’s not. Look at you!”
She blinked, unsure of what he meant. “What’s wrong with me?”
“You’re holding yourself back. You obviously don’t want me to kiss you and I get
that. I get it. I was rough with you earlier. I didn’t take care of you or your needs. I suck. I really do.” He plopped down on the side of the bed and clasped his head in both hands.
Again.
Shit! Leah groaned inwardly. Kneeling in front of him, she tugged at his hands
until he was looking up at her. “I just don’t think we should be doing this, Nick. I mean,
it’s obvious you love someone else. I don’t want to be hurt. And I will be if I stay here.”
“I don’t love her,” he replied, his tone earnest, and yet she knew he was lying.
“Nick.” She traced his knuckles with her fingertips, her eyes following the
movements of her fingers. “You do. It’s written all over your face when you look at her.”
“Is it?”
She looked up just in time to catch his horrified expression. Nodding, she added,
“Yeah. I don’t understand why Kevin’s not saying anything for that matter. How long
have they been married?”
50
“Years,” he answered. “It’s complicated. We…never mind. This needs to stop!”
He stood up abruptly, almost sending her toppling to the floor. He grabbed her
shoulders at the last minute and pulled her to an upright position. His hands still on her,
he said, “I need your help.”
She licked her lips, wondering what he was going to tell her. He had such an
absolute determined look on his face. The same one than he had when he was on the
field, back in the day. She gulped. “What?”
“I need to stop thinking of her, remembering-” He cut himself off. “Can you please
not leave, Leah?”
“Why?” She just wasn’t following his train of thoughts anymore.
“I know it was rude of me to invite you here knowing you’d meet her, but I truly do
like you. I’m attracted to you.”
“You are?” He was? It hadn’t been a lie? Hold on a second! “Isn’t it just because I
could be her twin?”
He shook his head almost violently. “No!” She sent him a disbelieving look. “No,
promise, it wasn’t that. Oh, it was at first, I’ll admit it. But I’ve come to know you and I do like you. I want you.”
“You’ve just had me,” she couldn’t help but answer, her fingers twisting around
each other in front of her. This wasn’t the way she’d planned this conversation to go.
What was going on?
“Yes and no. I wasn’t in the right state of mind, and I don’t think you really
enjoyed it, did you?” She shook her head, unable to lie about something like that. He
51
sighed. “I’m sorry I hurt you. Stay here, and we’ll go to my house in the morning and
spend some time together.”
“I don’t know, Nick. I don’t want to come between-”
He cut her off. “There’s nothing between me and Mia! Do you really expect Kevin
to accept something like that?” His head was suddenly filled with images of them three
on a bed, naked and sweaty and reeking of sex. Fuck! Luckily, Leah answered him.
“No, you’re right. He doesn’t have a reputation for being too nice.”
“See?” Thank God for that.
“Maybe.” She bit her lower lip. “I’m just not sure if it’s worth it.”
Okay, time to get matters back under his control. “Do you like me, Leah?”
She started. “Sure.”
“Do you want me?” She just stared at him in silence. He stepped closer and
added, “Do you like it when I kiss you?” He slipped his hands around her waist and
brought her forward. His mouth hovering above hers, he said, “I want to see if we can
have a relationship, baby. I wasn’t lying when I said you were my girlfriend…” He
claimed her lips for another one of his shattering kisses, Leah’s mind whirling with
everything that had just happened.
He might have said and even acted as if she was his girlfriend but he had still
been in love with someone else. The thought slashed through her brain and she closed
her eyes, suddenly feeling defeated. Pulling back, she smiled sadly and announced she
wanted to go to bed now. To sleep. Alone.
52
Nick nodded and escorted her to the bed, righting the duvet before tugging it over
her. “Sleep tight, baby. Dream of me,” he whispered as he dropped a soft kiss on her
hair.
He slipped out of the room and went downstairs, eager to drown his sorrows. He
still wasn’t sure if Leah would stay or hurry home when morning came. He winced as he
downed a glass of bourbon, alcohol burning his throat. He couldn’t take being here if
she wasn’t with him however. Not now that Mia and Kevin were cutting him from their
lives. He had no hope left, nothing to look forward to.
The memory of Leah’s soft body underneath him interrupted his thoughts and for
the first time that night, he smiled. He really did like her.
* * * *
The other couple was still in bed by the time Nick and Leah emerged from the
house the next morning. Neither of them had talked about it, but it was clear Kevin and
Mia were giving them space, having probably heard the argument. Trying not to think
about it, Leah climbed into his truck and waited for him to start the car. They were going
to his house and then, god knew what would happen.
“Ready?” Nick turned the ignition on and started backing down the drive. She
nodded and clung to her purse, her vision blurred from a sleepless night. “It’s gonna be
fine, baby. Trust me,” Nick added as he accelerated.
Leah rolled her eyes at his words. Hadn’t he said the same thing yesterday in the
plane? Look how well that had turned out!
53
Twenty minutes later, they rolled through a heavy gate, his house rising in the
distance. It was a ranch, a honest-to-goodness ranch. Oh, there were no cows or
horses, but the barn had been converted into a glass-enclosed home. She stepped out
of the car and breathed in the sweet smell of the meadows close by.
“Like it?”
“It’s amazing,” she responded truthfully, stepping behind him as he climbed onto
the porch and dropped their suitcases at his feet. Rummaging through a set of keys, he
quickly found the right one and unlocked the bolt. Hurrying to a complicated alarm
system, he turned it off before gesturing her in. She stepped into a fantasy house.
Wood and glass met her eyes. That was all there was, apart from the furniture.
Beams rose from the floor and criss-crossed over her head, large panels of glass
intercepting them. The view was breathtaking, unlike anything she’d seen before. No,
that wasn’t true. His condo in Miami overlooking the ocean had given out the same
impression. He clearly loved open spaces. She twirled around and stared at the intricaly
carved staircase leading upstairs, wondering if the views were just as amazing from up
there.
Nick watched her, loving the way she was taking everything in. She might not
have said a word, but he’d already read the look on her face. She loved it. She’d passed
the first test and she didn’t even know it. Grinning, he grabbed her hand and said, “Want
to tour upstairs?”
“Yes!” she immediately replied before realizing that upstairs meant bedrooms. “I
mean…”
He smiled. “It’s okay, baby. You can lead the way while I carry the suitcases.”
54
“Oh, right.” She took one step at a time, her fingers running over the carvings,
taking in the rich detailing and obvious amount of work that had gone into it. “This is just amazing.”
“I know. I fell in love with it and had to have it. You don’t want to know how much
the guy made me pay for it though.”
“I can guess.” She stepped onto the landing and glanced down. All that glass
gave the impression the room was huge but it wasn’t that big after all. It was cozy even.
“The master bedroom is at the end and there are also two guest rooms on either
side. Each has an en-suite,” Nick announced as he motioned her forward. She seemed
rooted into place however, so he led the way down the corridor. Opening the final door,
he stepped into his bedroom and exhaled deeply. God, he loved it here. This was his
home, the one he’d helped build. His haven. He dropped the bags on the bench at the
foot of the bed and turned around, only to find Leah frozen in the threshold. “What’s
wrong, baby? You don’t like it?”
Leah stared at Nick’s bedroom, his mark on every piece of furniture or art so