traces of Cal"s arousal. He needed it in his blood, and would,
for the rest of his life. He did howl, the tiniest cry slipping out
before he clenched his jaw.
“Wait, what?” Cal was shocked, and moved. He came up
behind him but stopped when Ray tensed. “I don"t get it, Ray.
I thought—”
“Cal.” He couldn"t say
Parker
. “Cal, I"m asking you now,
explicitly, to leave.”
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“Leave? But… the case?” Ray could hear the flail in that
voice and raised his head.
“The case? I know you don"t want to finish that. We both
know you don"t want to be working on it.” He was being too
rough and softened his voice, because hurting Cal was
suddenly close to impossible. “It"s fine. You"ve been a help. I"ll
look into goblins, okay? I"ll even let you know how it went.”
Anything just to see him again.
“That. That isn"t…. What"s happening here?”
“Nothing.” Ray opened his eyes but the mirror was
fogged up. “Nothing is happening here.”
“Why not?” Frustration. Need. Want. So damn much of it.
It wasn"t all his, but that wasn"t a comfort.
“Does it matter? I"m letting you go.”
“Oh, are you?” It was almost a frown in Cal"s voice, as
though even a fairy could be deeply unhappy. “I find you, and
you"re letting me go?”
“The case….” Ray cleared his throat but couldn"t turn yet.
“You don"t want to be here.”
“I generally resist anything my dad suggests, at first.
Good old Calvin Parker, Super Cop.”
“You"ve been helpful. I can see the need for the
department to have someone to consult on these cases. It
doesn"t have to be you, Calvin.”
“It does.” The stubborn tone made Ray twist around.
Cal"s gaze was hot. “And my name isn"t Calvin, Rover.”
Not Calvin. Ray was hanging on that information, waiting
for more.
“Something floral?” It wasn"t a sneer, he was too curious
for that, already mentally running through the names of
flowers.
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“Wouldn"t you like to know?” Cal leaned back to stare up
at him. He palmed himself through his jeans again, then
pointedly glanced at Ray"s erection. “Ask, and it"s yours,” he
offered and shivered when Ray loudly sucked in a breath.
“Until then….” Cal went on when Ray didn"t answer,
dripping glitter and staring carefully at him with eyes that
saw more than any other fairy Ray had ever met. “I guess I"ll
have to come back tomorrow, unless—”
He moved, just like that, taking half a step nearer and
then freezing in his tracks at whatever passed through Ray"s
expression. Ray had a feeling it was more desperation,
perhaps fear. He"d thought nothing could make a fairy stop,
but there Cal was, regarding him with the teeniest, tiniest
scowl Ray had ever seen, as though for the first time in his life
he was utterly lost.
All Ray could do was find it beautiful.
Cal wet his lips, staring at him like he could figure Ray
out if he just stared long enough. Ray almost wished he
would. “So I"ll see you tomorrow, Ray Ray?”
Ray Ray. Just like he"d said when he"d begged Ray to
take him.
“I….” Ray tried, but Cal was already gone from the room,
not even his wings in view. “Tomorrow.” He was agreeing.
Trembling, at the thought that he might not see one little fairy
again, and that he might. “Tomorrow.” He tried not to think he
was waiting for Cal to come back, or about how Cal probably
wouldn"t, right as Cal poked his head back in the doorway.
“Tomorrow, Ray,” he echoed firmly, then swept a heated
look up from Ray"s toes to his eyes, as though enough of Ray
hadn"t already been displayed for him tonight. “Because there
you are,” he whispered.
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“That"s enough, Tiger Lily,” Ray ground out, and had no
idea what the wondrous, blissful scent coming from Cal
meant. But he"d made Cal Parker smile, and it was enough to
make him smile back. Just for one moment, one brief, sweet
second, as though he might stay, and then Cal vanished
again.
“Tomorrow!” He had called it out from the living room, like
a promise, and then had slipped out the front door, leaving a
haze of glitter and need behind him.
CAL loved him. Had loved him. Did love him. Ray"s thoughts
ran together as the tension left the air, as the memory faded
and he was in the present again. The truth left him winded,
almost crushed but for the heat filling him as it hadn"t then.
Cal had been telling him everything, and he hadn"t been
listening. Cal. His Cal. Had been, even then.
He looked over and met those eyes. For one moment he
stared, stuck between then and now, and then Cal wet his
lips.
“Oh,” he said, and stretched out his arm behind him to
reach for something. The cup with ice water was in front of
Ray"s face before he realized that his throat was hoarse, that
he must have been talking the whole time. He"d thought Cal
was the one sharing the truth, but Cal was staring at him
without blinking. His eyes were gleaming as he fed Ray chip
after chip of ice.
His fingertips lingered on his mouth. Ray didn"t mind.
When Cal finally took the cup back, he pushed it away
without looking and didn"t even flinch when it hit the floor. “I
was that scary?”
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“Terrifying.” Ray wished he was kidding. Cal might have
been hurt, but he seemed to get distracted when Ray"s hand
landed at his hip—because it had to go somewhere and
because Cal was so very warm. He rocked a bit, getting
comfortable.
Ray bit down hard and didn"t say anything, though the
motions in the bed didn"t feel great with his injuries. He
forgot the pain in the next second, because Cal rested his
head against the pillow, displaying his throat for him. Like
he knew exactly what it meant after all. Of course, now he
did know.
“Now. Let"s do this right. Sniff away, Fido,” he
murmured, watching him with hot eyes.
“But….” Ray protested, not sure why when he was
already leaning down and inhaling so much sweetness that
he got dizzy. He needed his mate to heal faster, to rest, and
didn"t know if Cal knew that but didn"t care as long as he
stayed with him. “But….” Like birthday cake, Cal seemed to
be made of joy and frosting, and rested against Ray without
even a flutter of his wings. “You"re a fairy.” He wasn"t
supposed to want this.
“Half-fairy,” Cal reminded him gently, shivering at each
one of Ray"s breaths as he panted over him. “And there"s a
lot you don"t know about us fairies. My mother alone…. I
could tell you stories. Maybe I will, someday. She"s not the
reason my parents are split, you know. That was all my dad,
not wanting to burden her as he aged… he"s kind of a jerk
like that. Kind of like you, but let"s please not go there with
my issues.”
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“That"s—” Ray tried to speak only to get forcefully
shushed. Cal"s fingers slid up into his hair, to the edge of
what felt like a bandage, and then back down to his neck.
“So stupid, Ray. He"s smart but he"s so stupid. How
could she not want him? I tried to tell him what we see, but
he won"t listen, and don"t defend him, I can see that look on
your face. You of all people should know the cost of thinking
the wrong things about anyone.”
“I know,” Ray said instead. “I know, and I"m sorry. But I
didn"t….” He still didn"t understand what it was Cal saw,
even though Cal had showed him.
“At first, I wondered why you"d want me but say no.
Then I thought it was a wolf thing. I never thought it was a
Ray
thing. Crap, my dad did try to tell me. I hate it when
he"s right. Even
Audrey
tried to tell me, and oh, Ray, what
you did for them. Can we talk about that for a second? What
you did, which was wonderful, you softie, and why then
you"d….” He sniffed. “Let Nasreen kiss you. I heard all about
that too.”
“Are they happy? I"m glad.” Ray avoided the rest of it,
and Cal didn"t seem inclined to think about it either. But the
quiet envy in his tone, the traces of hurt, made Ray lean
back in, breathe in deep until Cal reached up to run his
fingers through his hair.
“
So
happy. The age thing. It bothered Audrey too. And
other things. She was afraid, just like you said.”
Ray opened his mouth, then couldn"t say anything and
wet his lips.
“I am not pleased to imagine what you thought of me, of
us.” Cal made a noise but continued to pet him. “And how
dare, how
dare
you assume I would leave you and treat me
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like that? Don"t you pay attention to the stories at all, Ray?
What are most of those old ballads about anyway? Fairies
bringing their human lovers to live with them, or the other
way around. They"re
love
stories, you idiot. Some detective
you are.”
He was like bliss, humming under Ray"s mouth, calling
him names.
“I know everyone says we just run around looking for
new things to make us happy, but nobody ever talks about
what happens when we
find
what makes us happy, do they?
What did I tell you then, Ray?”
He"d said,
There you are
.
Ray would have said Cal didn"t mean it, couldn"t, but
fairies never bothered with deception, and it
smelled
right.
He pulled back anyway, enough to stare into Cal"s face. He
abruptly felt stupid, knowing that this had been in front of
him all along, and he hadn"t believed it.
Cal looked smug, and, briefly, slightly pitying. Ray
should have seen the obvious, his expression said, how Cal
had circled around him, irresistibly drawn to the thing that
made him happy above all else.
“I could stay like this for a hundred years, Ray,” Cal
added, just to make it clear, then blinked. “Or until that one
nurse comes back around. Kiss me quick before she comes
back in here to yell at me! She"s an ogre.”
Ray wasn"t even aware that he"d meant to kiss Cal until
he was, swimming in the scent and taste of him, hot as Cal
shifted against him. Cal"s hand landed on his chest, and Ray
let out a small noise at the pain, then a louder one when Cal
pulled back.
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He was wriggling again. Ray stared at him, his lips
buzzing, his thinking a little muddled.
“Sorry,” Cal was breathing heavily, smiling despite his
words. He hummed. “I don"t want to hurt you.”
Ray wasn"t especially worried about his rapidly healing
wounds. This was his mate, practically in his arms. He
leaned back over, sliding a series of softer kisses over Cal"s
mouth and slipping one hand down to the space between
them.
“You can bruise me all you want,” he growled quietly,
sizzling when Cal instantly moved, rocking over, rubbing a
leg against his, spreading his hands wide.
They were, he realized, checking his injuries as much as
groping him.
“You"re
so
bright.
So
right,”
Cal
whispered
nonsensically. Or not, when Ray"s vision flared again with
that same strange brand of fairy magic.
“Is that really what you see? When you look at me?”
The air tightened.
Shiny
.
Perfect
. Those were Cal"s
words. He added new ones too.
“You are brighter than the sun to me, Ray. Did I not
show you the truth?” Cal didn"t wait for his nod. “I told you
then to take me. I said there you are. Say it again, Ray.”
“What?” Ray felt like an idiot when Cal fixed him with a