So Inn Love (13 page)

T
he champagne glasses tumbled off my tray and onto the floor.

Fortunately I was in the carpeted area at the time, so instead of shattering and drawing everyone’s attention to me, they just sort of bounced and knocked into each other, splashing my shoes with champagne.

Unfortunately I let out a little shriek as it happened. So everyone looked at me anyway.

I caught Hayden looking over at me with a startled expression, and I glared right back at him. If I didn’t strangle him now, it was only because there were about two hundred witnesses.

Was that why everything between us always
had to be a secret, because he was still trying to get back together with Zoe? Or had he been with her this whole time—while he was also with me?

Was I the stupidest girl on the planet—or in Rhode Island—or what?
Everyone knew,
I thought.
Everyone knew except me
.

Caroline knew—she tried to warn me to stay away from Hayden, in her own weird way. Richard knew—that was why he was so nice to me, because he pitied me. Maybe even Claire knew, and that was why she kept warning me against dating Hayden. Everyone else who’d ever hung out at Crandall’s Point probably knew Hayden and Zoe still had a “thing.” Or something. And they were all looking at me.

She likes me now,
Hayden had said last night to his roommate.
She won’t like me after I tell her.

He was right. I wouldn’t like him anymore, now that I knew he wanted to see two girls at the same time.

Uptight Knight was on me immediately. “Do you know how impossible it is to get the smell of alcohol out of carpet?”

I turned to him and raised my eyebrow. “We’ll Febreze it.”

Claire and Josh found me in the kitchen, where I was collecting myself by drinking iced tea mixed with lemonade and snacking on shrimp cocktail.

I must have downed five or six consecutive shrimp without really pausing, because the plate—which was supposed to go onto the tray and be served—was now empty.

“Where have you been?” Josh asked. “One whole table didn’t get their champagne and we had to scramble for more glasses just in time for the big toast.”

“Where have I
been
? Didn’t you see me?” I asked.

They both shook their heads.

“You didn’t see what happened? Well, that’s two people out of two hundred. You must not have been in the dining room when it happened. I had a little accident. Dropped my tray. Screeched when I did it. Fortunately it was on carpet, but I got splashed.”

“So you’re in here recovering from spillage?” Claire asked.

“You could say that.” I brushed a speck of lint off my black skirt, part of my official catering gear uniform. “You could also say that I’m recovering from seeing Hayden with Zoe. I mean, what
is
that?”

I wandered over to the kitchen doorway and looked out at the scene. Yup, Hayden and Zoe were still sitting next to each other. They didn’t seem to be talking, at the moment, but that was because they were both eating.

“I noticed they were at the same table,” Josh said.

“I guess their families are pals—you said they came from the same town, right?” Claire asked. “So he must have gone to the wedding—you know, as a friend.”

“That’s what I tried to tell myself. But would a
friend
sit at the head table with the bride and groom and wedding party?” I asked.

“It’s a pretty big table. So maybe,” Claire said.

I glared at her. “Hey, I’m the optimist, not
you. And would he kiss her on the mouth? Tell me—is it as bad as it looks?”

“It’s not
good
,” Claire said.

“I have an idea. Josh, dance with me,” I said.

He groaned. “Please don’t make me do that.”

“One dance. It won’t kill you.”

“You don’t know that. Have you heard the music?” Josh pretended to stick his finger down his throat.

I laughed. “Okay, so the music’s kind of cheesy, but come on, just a quickie.”

“Well, if
that’s
what we’re talking about—”

“We’re not.” I grabbed the sleeve of Josh’s white button-down shirt and pulled him out of the kitchen, toward the dance floor, with Claire following close behind us.

“You’ll owe me for this,” Josh said as I put my hands on his shoulders, and he rested his hands on my waist.

“I know. I already do,” I said.

We moved around the dance floor, staying in the middle so that Miss Crossley wouldn’t notice us. I tried to dance close enough to
Hayden’s table that he’d see us. Two could play that game. He wanted to have someone on the side? So did I.

Okay, not really, but I might be able to make it look that way.

“Take it easy,” Josh said, as I leaned my cheek against his shoulder.

“Too close?” I asked.

“A little,” he said.

I know Hayden saw us, because he and I exchanged yet another awkward glance.

Cut in anytime,
I thought.
Cut in and show me—and everyone else—that we’re together now, the way you said we were the other night
.

But he didn’t budge. He sat there beside Zoe, taking part in the conversation at the table, without moving. I turned away; that was something I didn’t need to see over and over.

The song came to an end, and I felt a tap on my shoulder.

I turned around, my heart beating faster.

“Excuse me, but aren’t you employees?” a man in a black tuxedo asked. “Are you supposed to be dancing? I mean, this is my daughter’s wedding, and if you’re dancing, then what
are we paying you for?”

I don’t know,
I thought,
but nobody’s paying me nearly enough to put up with this.

“Don’t you have cake to hand out?” Zoe’s father asked.

“Sorry, sir. We got caught up in the moment,” I said.
The moment where I want to throttle your other daughter and her apparent date.
“It won’t happen again.”

“Got that right,” Josh muttered as we headed off the dance floor.

I passed right by Miss Crossley, who was walking through the lobby in the opposite direction. “I’ll be back, I promise,” I told her, hoping that Zoe’s dad wouldn’t complain to her about me and Josh dancing. “I just need some fresh air.”

“But—Liza—this is highly irregular—”

No kidding,
I thought. “Ten minutes, okay? I really have to do this,” I said.

She gave me a stunned look as I bolted out the back door. I ran past guests on the porch and nearly knocked down a woman walking back up from the beach.

Then I heard heels clattering on the boardwalk behind me. “Liza! Liza, wait up!” a female voice called.

I turned around and saw Caroline coming. She ran toward me, tossing her stilettos onto the sand, her fancy strapless dress (because she was a wedding guest, too) rippling in the wind. “Are you okay?”

I couldn’t believe her nerve. “No. Not really,” I said. “But you told me not to come crying to you. So I won’t.”

“I’m sorry,” Caroline said. “I shouldn’t have—”

“You know what, Caroline? You could have just told me. You had every opportunity in the world.”

“Yeah, I guess I could—but I wasn’t—I didn’t really think they’d go through with it. They both wanted to call it off, but—”

“But what?”

“It was all arranged. A long time ago.”

“So I was merely messing up their social calendar? You know what? Forget it. I don’t want to know.” I didn’t want to listen to her, of
all people,
explain
this to me.

I took off jogging down the beach, kicking the surf with my feet, wishing I’d come anywhere except the Inn for the summer.

H
ayden was sitting in the hallway outside my door when I got back to the dorm, around two in the morning. His suit was rumpled, his tie untied.

I really, really wanted to talk to him. And I also really didn’t ever want to see him again.

Was he waiting for me? Or was he just slumped there because he’d been in Zoe’s room, which happened to be right next door to mine?

This dorm stuff sucked. It was like living in a fish bowl. And I was starting to feel like that one pathetic fish that’s always at the edge of the bowl, staring straight ahead like it can’t wait to escape.

If dorm life was what college was all about,
then maybe I should reconsider going away to college and stay home.

“Where have you been all night?” Hayden asked.

I was holding my sandals, and my legs and ankles were covered in sand that looked like a dusting of cinnamon and sugar. I’d tried to wash it off before I came inside, with the hose by the door, but sort of halfheartedly. If sand got all over the dorm, what did I care?

“I was walking on the beach,” I told him. “Then I lay down to look at the stars and I guess I fell asleep.”

“You slept on the beach,” Hayden said.

“Yup.”

“By yourself.”

What was he implying? Did he really think I’d be out there with someone else? “Yup.”

Hayden scrambled to his feet. “Do you know how dangerous that is?” He gave me this pleading look. “Promise me you won’t do that again.”

“It’s not dangerous. I sleep with one eye open.”

“Right,” Hayden said.

“How long have you been waiting?” I asked.
“Or did you just pass out here after the big wedding night?”

“I’ve been here since midnight,” Hayden said. “Since Zoe and everyone else at the wedding crashed at the Inn. They rented the second and third floors, you know?”

“Fascinating.” I opened the door to our room and walked inside.

I couldn’t believe it. Claire wasn’t home. Claire, who I’d been counting on to get me out of this. She was not in her bed.

Hayden, apparently seeing that she wasn’t there, followed me into my room and closed the door behind him.

I walked over and opened it a crack. It wasn’t that I was scared of him, or what would happen. I just didn’t want him to think that he could have me all to himself. I was too mad to want to be alone with him. Let Caroline hear us argue, too. Maybe she could tell Zoe what happened.

“I didn’t know how to tell you,” Hayden began.

Oh God. Anything but that. What a horrible thing to say.

“My family was coming and I was all stressed out about that and I didn’t know what to say.”

“So you didn’t tell me anything.”

“Don’t hate me,” Hayden said. “I had to do it.”

“Had to do what?”

“Had to be at the wedding today. It’s—it’s complicated.”

“Not really,” I said. “You and Zoe still being together is actually not all that complex.”

“But we’re
not
still together, you know that.”

“Do I?” I asked.

“Yes.”

“I thought I did, until today. Then everything started to look a lot different.”

“You don’t understand.” Hayden paced back and forth between our beds, which was a pretty small space to use for pacing. “Our families—they expect us—they want us to be together.”

“What?” I laughed. “Are you serious? This is the twenty-first century. Are you trying to tell me you guys have an arranged marriage or something like that? Because this isn’t exactly
the culture where that is the norm. So I don’t think that’s it. What’s the problem, then? Am I not good enough for you? Because that’s ridiculous.”

“Of course you’re good enough for me,” Hayden said. “But our parents—they have these ideas. So I agreed to go to the wedding with Zoe, to make her parents happy, which makes my parents happy.”

“I don’t understand. But I do know that I can’t—I don’t—trust either of you. If you can’t stand up to your parents—I mean, you’re in college—and you’re still letting them tell you what to do?”

“I don’t have a choice. They expect things from me.”

“And they don’t expect…what? You to be with a completely scandalous girl from
Connecticut
? Ooh, scary. Do they restrict other states? What about Rhode Island, is that out?” I snapped my fingers. “I know. It’s because I don’t go to stupid Maple Syrup Acad—”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t want to rock the boat
right now. Too much is happening,” Hayden said. “I was all worried about my mom and dad and whether they’d fight, and it took them like two seconds before they got into an argument, and then my sister, Grace, gets out of the car and she’s wearing black lipstick and combat boots to a wedding—”

I started to feel sympathy for him, remembering our conversation on the beach about his family. But what was he saying? They’d been at the wedding—and he hadn’t introduced me? All my sympathy was gone as I realized that. I’d never treat him like that!

“I want to be with you, Liza. You know that.”

“I thought I did. But does anyone else? I mean in some ways, you’re acting just like Caroline.”

“What?”

“You’re being a total snob! Whenever I try to bring up stuff we used to do together, she pretends it didn’t happen, that it wasn’t me she hung out with. And you do the same thing,” I said. “Your parents aren’t the only ones you’re hiding from. You never want to be around me
when
any
other people are there. It’s like we have no history. You always find some reason to take off—”

“I do not. I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Hayden said. “Everyone knows about us.”

“If they do, it’s not because of you!” I started to say, just as the door popped open. Claire backed into the room, Josh kissing her.

“Ex—excuse us,” Josh said.

“Oh. Oh my God. I thought you guys would be, uh, out,” Claire said. “Kissing and making up. Not in that order.”

“We didn’t exactly make up,” I said.

“And we’re not going to tonight,” Hayden added.

“No. We’re not,” I said.

“Fine!” Hayden went out and slammed the door behind him.

“What’s he so mad about? You’re the one who should be mad,” Josh said.

“Oh, I am,” I said. “I’m furious.” Then I sank onto my uncomfortable, flat bed and curled up into a fetal position. “I just
really
like him,” I confessed.

“Like…in love?” Josh asked.

“I don’t know. I guess I am, sort of. And I thought it would be fun, but it isn’t and I hate it.”

Josh gave me a sympathetic smile, as if I had an illness that couldn’t be cured. “Well, I’ll let you guys talk. ’Night.” He leaned over to rub my head, then he quickly kissed Claire before leaving.

“Claire?”
I said the second the door closed. “All those things you told me about not—”

“I know, I know. But I couldn’t help it,” she said. “He’s so cute and funny. I just want to be with him all the time—”

“Well, that’s how I feel. No, that’s how I felt,” I corrected. Until tonight.

“Which is it?” Claire asked.

“Feel. Present tense. But with a lot of emphasis on
tense
. So when did you and Josh get together?”

“I actually have you to thank for that,” Claire said. “When you asked him to dance this afternoon? I wanted to kill you. That’s when I realized he couldn’t dance with anyone but me. I mean, we’d gone out once, but you know me. I usually have my one-date limit.”

“You were out so late tonight, I think that counts as three dates.”

“But what about you and Hayden? What are you going to do?” Claire asked.

I shrugged. “I have no idea.”

“You know what? In spite of everything, I don’t think he’s a bad person. I really don’t. I think he’s confused, you know? And he made some bad choices.”

“You’re only saying that ’cause you’re in love.”

“I’m not in love,” Claire said. “I’m in like. I’m having fun, for once.”

“Okay, but you’ll be spending so much time with Josh this summer, you’ll probably never make it through all those serious books now,” I teased her. “You realize that.”

“Oh, well. Columbia will understand why I ditched the reading list,” she said. “Right?”