Snow White Sorrow (12 page)

“Looking for something?” Paw Paw growled, squeezing the boy’s neck with his giant Popeye-arm. He looked almost twenty, heavily tattooed and too old for school.

“Actually, it’s that funny smell that brought me here,” Loki covered his nose with his hand, hiding some of his Magic Dust in it. “Phew, what did you guys eat today?”

The onlookers laughed then stopped immediately when Paw Paw looked back at them.

“Are you making fun of me,” Paw Paw grinned, squeezing harder on the boy’s neck whose face was turning blue as his tongue dangled from his open mouth.

“God forbid,” Loki said. “I was making fun of him,” Loki pointed at Big Bad.

Everyone in the parking lot held their breath. Loki doubted his attitude for a second, but hell, it felt so good to make fun of the bullies, even if it meant he’d end up a Pig or Sheep—he’d been bullied enough by Donnie’s friends in Snoring and it never stopped him from making fun of them. They used to hang him like dirty laundry from his jacket on the classroom’s door, and he couldn’t do anything about it.

Instantly, Big Bad reached for Loki’s shirt with one hand and lifted him up from the ground, reminding him of the dirty laundry days.

“Are you even old enough to think about insulting us?” Big Bad chuckled. He was about eighteen with long seventies side burns and a ridiculous Elvis style haircut.

“Young enough to do it and old enough to do it right,” Loki said choking in the air.

A couple of students laughed, hiding in the crowd.

Paw Paw dropped the boy to the ground and kicked him away before grabbing Loki’s legs and holding him upside down.

Loki thought it would be a terrible way to die, squeezed like a greasy fast food sandwich between these two.

“Wow,” Loki said. “I’m sorry guys. I have to admit that it wasn’t right to offend you. I’m really sorry. If you just let me down, I will make it up to you.”

Big Bad and Paw Paw let him down, laughing out loud in the middle of the parking lot. Their voices were so intimidating that the students took a step back.

“I don’t know man,” Big Bad said to Paw Paw, laughing again at how cowardly Loki turned out to be. When he laughed, the muscles in his chest laughed as well, up and down, down and up, like a heavy ripple in a swamp. “This one is neither a Pig nor a Sheep. He’s a squashed beetle already.”

“I think we started off on the wrong foot,” Loki adjusted his shirt. “Let’s play nice and start all over again. I’m sorry I haven’t introduced myself properly,” he held out his hand.

“So introduce yourself,” Big Bad said.

“I’m Loki Blackstar,” Loki smiled. “And I’m here to kick your asses.”

Loki took a step forward and got up close and personal with Big Bad, faster than a pussycat he blew Magic Dust into his face.

Big Bad got dizzy. Loki punched him in the face before he dropped to the ground like a heavy bag of groceries. Loki’s fist hurt, but he turned around and blew Magic Dust in Paw Paw’s face, punched him, and watched as the kid crumpled to the floor.

Everyone in the parking lot went whoooo! All they saw was Loki hitting the boys; it didn’t quite register that he’d blown Magic Dust in their faces. They didn’t know such a thing even existed.

The boy grabbed Loki’s fists and examined them, looking for the secret of his superpowers while the girls clapped and cheered.

It felt good being the parking lot’s hero. For the first time ever, life didn’t suck and Loki walked proudly back to his car.

“Wait!” the boy said. “Can you give me a ride home?”

“I ride alone,” Loki said without looking back.

“Please?” the boy pulled Loki’s hand. “If the rest of the Bullyvards see what happened to Big Bad and Paw Paw, they’ll hurt me for getting away from their friends without a scratch. I need to get out of here.”

“OK. I get it. Hop in. I’ll give you a ride.”

The boy got in the passenger’s seat and stretched out his hand. “I’m Axel,” he said. “And I’m not here to kick your ass,” he joked.

Loki shook Axel’s hand, and thought he looked like a decent boy without the hood; cute features, natural spiky hair, and freckles on his face, a nerdier version of Macaulay Culkin, only a bit chubby.

Loki kick started his Cadillac. The radio played another fast-paced song by the Pumpkin Warriors that was about heroes saving the world.

Lucy walked up waving at Loki, her long hair fluttering in the breeze.
Damn that long, beautiful hair.
She must’ve heard the commotion in the parking lot and wondered what was happening.

Sitting in the passenger seat, jaw-dropped Axel couldn’t stop staring at Lucy whose smile was a heartbreaker, just like the happy cute girls dancing in a Japanese Manga or Anime.

Lucy wasn’t alone. A muscular figure with another outdated Elvis haircut, long sideburns, and a black leather jacket, showed up from behind her.

Axel stopped drooling like a puppy. Loki was chewing on envy as Lucy held the boy’s hand.

“Hey,” Lucy said, peeking through the window.

“Hey yourself,” Axel, interrupted, tilting his head.

“You made friends already?” she told Loki, bestowing an infuriating stare on Axel, as if he was some funny looking and unappreciated Gremlin. Axel swallowed an invisible fireball and stayed silent.

“Why are you still at school?” she wondered. “Shouldn’t you be getting some sleep and buying yourself a new pair of socks? By the way, this is Ulfric Moonclaw,” she introduced her boyfriend.

“Pleasure,” Ulfric said, squeezing Lucy closer to him, and whispering something in her ear then kissing her on the cheek. Her eyes glowed, and Loki couldn’t help but wonder what he’d told her. Ulfric didn’t even acknowledge Axel who was officially invisible to most people in school so he burrowed himself into the passenger seat.

“So what’s the buzz all about up there?” Ulfric wondered, pointing at the horde of girls trying to wake up Big Bad and Paw Paw. Loki gripped the wheel. If those two polar bears woke up, he wasn’t prepared to face them again. It was time to go.

“Is that Big Bad and Paw Paw on the ground?” Lucy wondered.

“What?” Ulfric’s face went red. “Who did that to them?” he looked back at Loki. “You know who did that to them?” he stared into Loki’s eyes intensely. Loki felt as though he’d been punched in the face already.

“I‘m the new dude, I don’t know many students yet,” Loki shrugged his shoulders, ignoring Axel pulling at his sleeves.

“I’m going to punish whoever did that to my friends,” Ulfric said. Then he did something that struck Loki as odd. Ulfric titled his head up and yelled, ‘Awooo!’

It was only seconds before others replied back, ‘Awooo!” Loki assumed this was the rest of the Bullyvards’ pack as Ulfric hurried toward them.

“Easy, Ulfric,” Lucy pleaded after him. “He’s reckless when he gets mad,” Lucy said proudly. “And I love it.”

But Loki wasn’t there. He’d already sped away in his Cadillac, Axel still trying to bury himself under the passenger seat.

Closer to main street, Loki gazed in the rear view mirror and saw Ulfric Moonclaw chasing him on foot. He’d figured out it was him who fought Big Bad and Paw Paw.

Ulfric eventually gave up, swearing and panting in the middle of the parking lot. Loki couldn’t hear what Ulfric was saying, but he assumed that he promised he’d soon teach Loki and Axel a lesson they would not forget.

Loki quietly speculated how much money he’d have made if he had a dollar for every time he looked in the rear view mirror and saw someone trying to chase him down.

“If you really want me to give you a ride home, you’ll have to tell me how you know my name.” Loki said while driving.

“Harum Scarum,” Axel said. “It’s an online forum. It’s devoted to everything about the vampire princess. Someone mentioned that you’d be the next vampire hunter coming to town.”

“What’s with this obsession with the princess?”

“No one’s ever killed her,” Axel said. “I am a member in the forum, proud member in fact; I’m only twenty seven posts away from being an admin. I can help you since you’re new to town.”

“Like I said, I roll alone.”

“Come on,” Axel said. “You need an assistant. I bet you don’t even know how to get to the castle, or about all the obstacles you’ll have to overcome to get there.”

“I can handle myself.”

“Yeah, it showed when the earth was shaking and you were the only one scared in the parking lot. I saw you.”

“You know what shook the earth in the parking lot?” Loki was curious.

“See?” Axel grinned. “You need me,” he pointed proudly to himself.

Loki let out a short sigh. He didn’t think there would be any harm using the help of someone who knows the town well. He was running out of time anyway.

“OK,” Loki said. “You could show me the way to the castle, but that’ll be it.”

“Awesome!” Axel wanted to high five Loki, but Loki let him down.

“So what’s shaking the earth in Sorrow?” Loki asked.

“The whale,” Axel answered. “This island is built on the back of a whale, and sometimes it shakes a little after having a big meal.”

“That’s outrageous,” Loki said with disbelief. “Not at all,” Axel said. “I know they lied to you at school and called it an earthquake. Trust me, it’s a whale.”

7

“Come on in!” Axel ushered Loki through the door. It was a lonely house atop the highest hill in Sorrow, a perfect spot to observe the rest of the street-curving town. “If you ever get lost, trying to get here,” Axel explained, “ask for the Candy House on Breadcrumb Street. It’s practically the last house separating the town from the woods beyond that leads to the water surrounding Sorrow.”

Loki assumed Axel meant the Missing Mile, but he doubted Axel knew about it or the Train of Consequences. He had a feeling the things he’d experienced entering the town were tailored for him somehow; and he remembered Igor telling him that only those who entered Sorrow for the first time rode the Train of Consequences. Still, Loki didn’t desire knowing more about all of this weirdness, as long as he was on the right track in his mission. Instead, he occupied himself with watching Axel’s mysterious house.

Candy House was a peculiar piece of wicked art. It was constructed of wood and stone, and it had a sod-roof that curved like a magic carpet with two layers of green grass over chocolate-brown mud. Loki thought the house could easily go unnoticed because of how it was dug into the hillside. Only the irregularly-shaped, huge windows with hazel sticks suggested someone lived inside. It looked like a crafted woodcutter with chainsaws, hammers, and chisels built it. It was a perfect, primitive hiding place between the edge of town and the beginning of the labyrinthine woodland behind it.

“Nice house,” Loki said, and took a step back to get a wider view.

The cornerstones looked like chunks of dark and vanilla-white chocolate, and the cement between the stones looked like bloody-red trails of sticky candy. The wood looked like the surface of hazelnut granola bars; crunchy, sweet, and edible. Loki licked his lips briefly, and felt an unexplained urge to touch the house to make sure it wasn’t really candy, but he didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of Axel.

The lantern above the porch was the shape of a pumpkin with smiling eyes and fang-like teeth; the yellow shimmering from inside complimented the ember shade of candles shimmering from behind the windows of the house. Candy House was spooky in a Halloween sort of way. Loki was confused because he felt good about it. He almost felt at home for the first time in the Ordinary World—if he could actually count Sorrow as part of the Ordinary World.

It can’t be. This feeling isn’t real. Sorrow is playing with my mind. I have only one home that I belong to.

Axel tried to open the door with a key that was the shape of a gingerbread man, but he couldn’t because of a spider web that was covering the keyhole. It seemed a bit odd to Loki that the house Axel lived in looked as if it had been abandoned for years.

“Something wrong?” Loki asked worriedly.

“Nah, it’s just my sister’s spiders. They love to play games with me so I can’t get into the house,” Axel said nonchalantly. “They don’t like me too much.”

“Sister? Spiders?” Loki said, wondering why everyone treated poor Axel like a second-class citizen, even the spiders.

And back in Snoring you thought you were the only one treated this way.

Axel didn’t reply. He kicked the door with his boot as if he were a Kung-Fu master. The frame crackled and the door flung wide open.

Axel spread his hospitable arms, “Welcome to the Crumblewoods!”

“Crumblewoods?”

“I’m a Crumblewood,” Axel said proudly. “Axel Crumblewood,” he stretched out a hand to Loki. “And I’m going to kick your butt,” Axel laughed, imitating Loki at the parking lot. “Nice line by the way—shame on Batman for not using it. But here we are, the Crumblewood’s House, also known as Candy House, located at Seven, Breadcrumb Street, the last house at the edge of the world—that’s how the mailman likes to describe it,” Axel whispered.

Aside from silly names, dust, and creepiness, Loki still had a good feeling about the house. It felt insta-comfy, as if he’d been here before, but it was probably the fact that he’d been sleeping in his Cadillac for almost a year. It crossed his mind to ask Axel if they had an extra room he could rent later.

Inside, the house glared with a different vibe. It was like a teenager’s wonderland, devoid of any parental control. There was a big living room overlooking an open kitchen up front. The walls were also the color of chocolate, and there was a huge rug in the middle; its colors varied between vanilla, strawberry, and mango. There was also a huge TV, a comfortable red couch the shape of a liver, and a hammock hinged between two trees, which supported the structure as columns protruded out of the earth. Loki was impressed, and wondered if he could have a house like this when he returned to Heaven.

The Candy House was heated with a fireplace that looked like a huge oven, and it was lit with candles and chandeliers. The inner walls were made of bales of straw that were stacked on stones and staked with hazel sticks. Loki spotted another unused big, black, oven in the kitchen, which was either really old or a decorative antique. The house was definitely weird but looked like fun. Loki wondered about Axel’s parents but decided not to ask so he wouldn’t sound intrusive.