Smuggler's Kiss (33 page)

‘Will!’ I cried in excitement.

At once he clapped a hand over my mouth. ‘Isabelle, for heaven’s sake, don’t you know better than to be so loud?’ he whispered in my ear.

I laughed and cried together, pulling his hand from my mouth and holding it tight. ‘I thought I’d never see you again!’ I said.

‘I wasn’t sure you’d want to,’ he replied. ‘I wasn’t sure if I should even try and find you. Now that you know what I’m accused of.’

He looked away, his posture defensive, coiled as though ready to spring away and go if I uttered angry or hurtful words. Instead I pressed his hand which I was still holding in both of mine.

‘Will, I know the truth,’ I said. ‘It wasn’t you that killed her, was it?’

Will turned towards me and stared at me in the darkness, as though he was trying to read my expression.

‘Was it an accident?’ I asked tentatively. ‘When your brother pushed her?’

Will gripped my hands painfully hard. ‘How do you know this?’

‘I went to see Jane and Beth in Harman’s Cross. Don’t be angry, Will! I was desperate to know the truth and you’d gone. I still don’t understand it all. I just know you didn’t do that dreadful deed you’re accused of!’

Will released me and jumped to his feet. For a dreadful moment, I thought he was so angry that he was going to leave. But he didn’t. He paced the little lawn a couple of times and then came back to me and sat in silence staring at his hands.

‘I think it was an accident,’ he said at last. ‘I’ve always tried to think so. But he was so angry. You’d think he’d never loved her, to hear him speak to her as he did!’

‘Maybe he didn’t?’ I suggested timidly.

‘I thought we both did. She was only ever interested in him, of course. He was the eldest, the heir, the most dashing of us. I was too young and too shy. But what he did was unforgivable. He promised to marry her; got her with child. I never would have … oh God!’

Will covered his face with his hands and rocked back and forth.

‘But your parents wouldn’t allow the marriage?’

‘No, of course they wouldn’t. My father had huge gambling debts; the estates were mortgaged. It was essential that my brother made a good marriage. So she was sent away; given an allowance if she promised to stay away. I didn’t know then that she was expecting a child. They must have known though.

‘By the time she returned, four years later, my brother was on the eve of marrying an heiress. That’s why she came back. She was furious and said it was her he should be marrying. He called her terrible names and so did my father. They fought and then … Oh, poor Eliza.’

‘And poor Beth!’ I added softly. ‘Why did she wait so long? Why not ask him to marry her before?’

Will shrugged. ‘I don’t know. Perhaps she thought, at first, that the settlement my father made on her to stay away was generous. But perhaps later she grew greedy or bitter. Truly, I don’t know, Isabelle. But you are right: Beth has suffered greatly. I don’t feel I can ever sufficiently make amends to her for what my family did between them. And after … they were going to send Beth to the orphanage: to abandon her there in poverty and lovelessness. That’s why I took her away. I couldn’t bear it. I persuaded Jane to care for her; found a cottage.’

‘That was well done,’ I said warmly.

‘It was essential. But when I returned, it was to find I was accused of murder. A witness none of us knew had gone to the magistrates and sworn he saw Elizabeth being deliberately pushed down the stairs. James stood accused, but to save him, my parents said it was me. The fact that I’d disappeared made me look doubly guilty.’

‘They accused you to save him?’ I asked, appalled. ‘How could they do that to you?’

Will bared his teeth in a bitter smile. ‘Oh, James was the heir, the eldest son. The apple of their eye. And besides he was on the brink of this wonderful marriage. The marriage that would save my father from his self-inflicted debts. Of course they sacrificed me.’

I could hear the hurt in his voice. He had felt betrayed and no wonder. ‘Money,’ I said bitterly. ‘It ruins everything. So what did you do?’

‘My father gave me five hundred pounds and organized me a safe passage to France,’ said Will. ‘He told me I had to save the family. I had to stay out of the country to save my brother, our family house, and name. I accepted my role, left almost all the money with Jane and I went. I found work. I’ve stayed away from them ever since; the first years I was in France, later I joined
The Invisible
. I knew Holbrook, you see. He was my father’s steward but later inherited a property of his own. I ran into him in France. He knew my story and offered me work as his agent. I see Beth occasionally, as you know. That was the appeal of the contraband trade. It brought me to England regularly.’

I swallowed hard. ‘So that’s why you said, all those weeks ago, that I was not the first to sacrifice myself for my family?’

‘That’s right. Parents have been sacrificing themselves for their children since time began. You and I have done it the other way around, have we not?’

‘Except I didn’t go through with it,’ I said. ‘I ran away.’

‘Yes. Isabelle, I thought … I thought that it was because of James that you’d tried to kill yourself. It made me feel so dreadful. That there was no end to the misery that my wretched family had caused to others.’

There was suppressed anguish in his voice. I laid my hand soothingly over his clenched fist. ‘I’m sorry. I did try to tell you. Several times. Only there was more to my story that I was denying even to myself. I was refusing to think about it. I’d shut it all behind locked, bolted doors in my mind.’

‘Hence the nightmares?’

I nodded. ‘Yes, the nightmares, the sleeplessness, the horror of my husband.’

‘Isabelle, it must have been such a shock. First my brother rejecting you. And then that. Your chosen husband unfaithful to you. You must despise men and marriage.’

I hesitated, looking away. I had told him so much. I needed to tell him the last bit. The part I hadn’t been able to say in front of the court.

I drew a deep breath. ‘I didn’t love him,’ I said. ‘Not the least bit. I still considered myself in love with your brother. I married him purely for my family’s sake. What overset me was not his faithlessness. Though that was hard to swallow on the actual wedding day. It was
who
he was with, Will.’

Will clasped my hand in his. ‘Tell me,’ he said.

I felt a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. I tried to speak, but couldn’t. Will waited quietly for me to master my emotions.

‘It was my little sister,’ I managed to say at last. Tears spilled down my cheeks, but my voice freed up and now I’d begun, the whole story came tumbling out: ‘We’d often fought, Mary and I. So when I saw them, I thought … I thought she’d always hated me and now she was stealing my husband. And he preferred her to me. I thought they were laughing at me behind my back. He saw me. He knew I knew. But he just laughed. And then he took me away to his dark gloomy house, miles from anywhere—truly, Will, you never would have guessed from it that he was a man of such wealth! He expected me to be his wife; to go through a wedding night with him just as though nothing had happened. Will, I just
couldn’t
. It was so horrific. When he left me to get undressed, I fled. But I had nowhere to go. No one to go to.’

Will lifted my hand to his lips. When my tears continued to fall, he put his arms around me and pulled me against him. I cried into his coat for a few minutes, until he released me and gave me his pocket-handkerchief. Mopping up my tears, I sniffed and found my hands were shaking.

‘But she wasn’t laughing at you, was she?’ Will asked gently.

‘Oh no. We’ve talked since I returned. I don’t know how I could have blamed
her
. She was only thirteen. What did she know of the world? He persuaded her into that room and then threatened her. She had to do what he said and not tell, or it would be the worse for me. Poor Mary! She was trying to help me. And instead she ruined both of us.’

‘Good God,’ said Will. ‘I’ve been about the world and heard and seen a great deal. But that is villainy indeed. And from a man I’ve been working for! My poor Isabelle.’ He paused, looking at me. ‘You consider yourself ruined, do you?’

‘A whole winter alone aboard a ship full of smugglers?’ I gave a watery laugh. ‘Yes. In the eyes of the world, I’m utterly ruined. I don’t care, though,’ I shrugged. ‘I had the time of my life. And I’m no longer married.’

‘That I did hear,’ said Will, his voice more cheerful. His eyes gleamed in the moonlight. ‘So what do you do with yourself instead?’

‘Oh, I lead the most ordinary of lives,’ I said with a slight sigh. ‘It’s all terribly respectable, of course, though less elegant and sophisticated than formerly. I sew and I darn; I’m learning to bake. I take long walks every afternoon. And I read to improve my mind.’

Will regarded me gravely for a moment. ‘Are you teasing me?’ he asked.

‘No, I’m quite serious.’

‘How do you stand it?’

‘I confess I have to make a considerable effort. It is good to be with my family, of course. But even that can be too much of a good thing some days.’

‘And do you have any suitors in this thrilling new life?’

‘You jest! I told you, I’m disgraced. No decent man would have me!’

Will caught his breath as though he were going to speak. He got up and paced the garden again. Then he came and stood in front of me.

‘Isabelle, I took a solemn vow with myself not to say this to you,’ he said. I held my breath, wondering what was coming next. It wasn’t at all what I expected: ‘How would you feel about a spell of privateering?’

‘Privateering?’ I repeated blankly.

Will nodded, sat back down beside me and grasped both my hands in his. There was mischief in his eyes now. ‘The crew all got off the charges,’ he said. ‘As we hoped they would. We’ve got the money we all saved up the last two winters doing extra runs and being thrifty and we’ve bought our own ship. The skipper has called in some favours and got a licence to sail as a privateer for several months. We leave Weymouth in a few days.’

I felt excitement rush through me, making my fingers and toes tingle with anticipation. ‘But aren’t privateers … ?’

‘Pirates? Yes. They are pirates with a government licence. It’ll be dangerous. But the possible rewards are good.’

I didn’t care about profits. I cared about going to sea once more, about excitement and being with my friends. And above all being with Will. ‘Just give me five minutes,’ I said to Will.

He laughed, but caught my wrist as I got up to run towards the house. ‘Are you sure about this?’ he asked. ‘I didn’t think I ought to ask you. I have no right to disrupt your life like this.’

‘What life?’ I asked mischievously. ‘Will, I’m absolutely certain,’ I said.

He shook his head with a rueful smile. ‘You mad girl,’ he said. ‘I’ve missed you so much. Would you really trust me?’

I smiled down at him. ‘It turns out I was betrothed to a murderer, married to a smuggling ringleader and spent the winter aboard a smuggling vessel. So really, it seems quite fitting for me to run away with a pirate next.’

Will laughed and pressed a package into my hand. ‘I owe you this,’ he said. ‘It was my excuse to come and see you one last time. Don’t forget to leave your parents a note.’

Some ten minutes later I was in the garden once more, dressed in a simple gown, as I no longer owned any boys’ clothes; a small bag packed with a few essential items. On the kitchen table, I’d left a note and the package of money for my family. I’d counted the notes. There were two hundred pounds in it. Unable to believe my eyes, I’d taken twenty and left the rest to make them more comfortable.

Will was sitting on the garden wall, swinging his legs and waiting for me. My heart skipped a beat at the sight of him.

‘Ready for another adventure?’ he said as he pulled me up beside him. We both jumped down into the lane beyond the wall.

‘More than ready,’ I assured him. ‘If you hadn’t turned up soon, I’d been thinking I was going to have to run away to join a travelling fair or some such thing.’

Will laughed and pulled me close once more, his arm around my waist. My heart beat fast, but I wasn’t afraid. I looked up and met his eyes. Will stroked my cheek, looking down at me. ‘You have no idea what a relief it is to have told you everything. And to have heard your tale.’

‘I’m glad. Me too.’

‘I’m not sure I’m a man of honour, you know,’ said Will. ‘In fact I think I’m a dishonoured one, whether I did anything to deserve it or not. I’m on the run. I’ll probably be on the run all my life. I’ve broken all sorts of laws in my smuggling career. Are you sure you want to throw your lot in with mine?’

‘I was never more sure of anything,’ I told him, my words heartfelt. I felt a rush of love for him as he stood close to me in the darkness of the lane. Will caught his breath as he stood looking down into my eyes. Then he slowly bent his head and touched his warm lips to mine.

I let go of my bag so that I could wrap my arms around him and kiss him back, tasting his sweet breath, losing myself in my smuggler’s kiss. Will tightened his arms around me, holding me close against his chest, and kissed me fiercely.

When we broke apart, I was breathless and happier than I ever remembered being in my life.

‘Then it’s a deal,’ Will said. It took me a moment to remember what we’d been talking about. I must have looked puzzled for a moment, because Will laughed joyfully and lifted me right off my feet in a bear hug.

‘Let’s go,’ he said, releasing me at last. ‘It’s a long walk from Gloucester to Dorset.’

‘Walk?’ I cried horrified. ‘You’re not serious?’

Will threw back his head and laughed again. ‘You’re still the easiest person in the world to tease, I see.’ He took my hand and started to walk. ‘No we won’t go all the way on foot. There’s a carrier’s cart going as far as Bristol with a load of lime. We can get a lift with them.’

‘My, you
do
know how to treat a lady, don’t you?’ I said with a grin. I didn’t really believe he was planning to travel all the way to Bristol in a manure cart. But then, with Will, I could never be quite sure about anything.