Smoke and Fire (24 page)

In her place was one more reserved and a little cold. A woman who didn't trust as easily and assumed everyone was always lying.

That's what he'd done to her.

No amount of lovemaking was going to redeem him or erase the hurt he'd caused. It didn't matter that their bodies moved in a rhythm all its own, a tempo that was just for the two of them. Nor did it matter how much pleasure he wrung from her.

None of it mended her heart that he'd so carelessly broken.

That wasn't true. It had torn Ryder apart to leave her, but he'd done it to protect Dreagan and the other Kings.

Why hadn't he gone back to her when he'd discovered the spell was broken and they could love again?

He slowly pulled his arm from beneath Kinsey's head and sat up on the side of the bed. He sighed, not wanting to answer that question—even to himself.

Ryder stood and pulled on his jeans, not bothering to buckle them. He walked to the window, but he wasn't looking out. His gaze was focused on his reflection.

He hadn't gone back to Glasgow for Kinsey because there hadn't been time.

Lie. Or a half-lie.

There were occasions he could've gone. Why hadn't he? What held him back? It wasn't Con's reaction, because Ryder didn't give a shite about that.

He ran a hand down his face, his reflection in the glass troubled—just as his heart was. Because the truth was he was scared he'd lost Kinsey.

By not going to her, he didn't have to face a truth he feared more than anything.

And yet what did fate have in store for him? None other than dropping Kinsey right in his lap.

Ryder closed his eyes. What an utter fool he'd been. All those times telling others that nothing scared him, when he'd known deep down in the pit of his soul that the mere thought of not having Kinsey's love terrified him.

He opened his eyes, his chin to his chest. His mistakes were in the past. Ryder was getting a second chance, and he wasn't going to blow it again. Nothing—and no one—was going to get in his way of reminding Kinsey how good they were together.

His image in the glass faded as he shifted his focus to beyond the window. The entire landscape was drenched in white. It was normally a time of year he loved, but that wasn't possible this time. Not when everything he wanted was just out of reach.

He braced his hands on either side of the window and glanced over at the bed where Kinsey slept. He should be rejoicing because she'd welcomed him, not worrying. But that was exactly what he was doing. Worrying.

Worrying because something kept nagging at him. He couldn't put his finger on it, but there was something he was missing. Something he should've seen—and he felt like it was important.

Ryder grabbed his shirt and boots and quietly left the room. It was doing him no good to stay and contemplate what Kinsey was thinking when there was work to be done. Despite his millions of years on the planet, he had no clue what went on in the mind of a female.

Something rammed into his shoulder. Ryder blinked and spun around to find Rhys wearing a deep frown.

“Where the hell have you been?”

Ryder ran a hand down his face. Fuck. He just now remembered hearing someone call his name through their mind link. Not once had he taken a night to himself, and that's all he'd wanted. Ryder should've known something important would come up. It always did.

“Tell me what you need,” he said to Rhys.

Rhys lowered his gaze to Ryder's hands that held his boots and shirt. “Get dressed. I'll meet you in the computer room in a bit.”

He watched Rhys walk away. A glance down showed his hands were shaking, he was shaking. With his inner turmoil about Kinsey, the danger of Ulrik and the Dark, MI5 on the grounds, and everyone constantly shouting his name, he needed a moment to himself.

Ryder made his way downstairs through the secret doorway to the mountain. It had been days since he'd been in his true form, and it was playing havoc with his mind. He dropped his boots and shirt inside the mountain.

His strides were long as he walked the tunnel, but soon he was running. He'd prefer to be in his mountain where he was completely alone. The fact it was too far away kept him there, close to Kinsey should she need him.

Ryder found the first cavern large enough to hold him, but he spotted white scales. Dmitri.

The next cavern appeared to be empty until he heard a rumble and peered into the darkness to see mocha-colored scales. Anson.

He skipped the next five and continued down until he was sure he was alone. There Ryder shifted, uncaring that he still wore his jeans.

A calmness stole over him, easing the onslaught of emotions that battered him like a storm. No matter how much they looked like humans, they were and always would be dragons. He shook his great head and spread his wings before snapping them shut.

He closed his eyes, imagining that he was soaring through the air, sweeping in and out of the clouds. The band of tightness that had constricted his chest since the moment Kinsey said she didn't know if she could forgive him began to ease.

If only he could be flying. Then he could remember who he really was—or rather who he'd once been. He'd be able to work out all the problems facing the Dragon Kings and Kinsey. Because in the air, everything came into focus with a clarity that always astounded him.

“Of all the Kings, you're one I never worried about.”

Ryder snapped open his dragon eyes to find Con sitting on a boulder with one leg braced on the rock and the other on the ground. He twirled the gold dragon-head cuff link at his left wrist and glanced up at Ryder.

“You look like hell, my friend.”

Ryder briefly looked away. He felt like it too. Unwilling to return to human form, he opened his mental link to Con and said, “
I'll be fine.
”

“Hmm,” Con said after a moment. “I'm no' so sure. Kinsey is messing with your head.”

“
There's a lot going on between Ulrik, the Dark, and now trying to clear her name.
”

Con released the cuff link and leaned his forearm on his bent leg. “I trust your judgment, Ryder. You've never let me or any of the Kings down. It's why I didna allow Rhys to interrupt you and Kinsey last night. Everyone deserves a night off here and there.”

“
But?
” Ryder urged.

“There was a breakthrough with Esther. She gave us a name.”

This shocked Ryder so much he shifted into his human form. They should've told him immediately. When he thought of all the answers he could've learned from a single name, he wanted to shout his fury at losing those hours.

Then he remembered who he'd been with.

“You should've let me know,” he told Constantine.

“I did a search of the name.”

The thought of someone else messing with his equipment irritated and infuriated Ryder.

“Ah,” Con said with a slight smile. “You doona like the idea that I was in your space?”

“Nay.” No use beating around the bush. It was always best to be honest with Con, no matter the outcome.

Con gave a little tilt of his head in acknowledgement. “I can understand that. We've all had our jobs for the last several hundred years.”

“What did you find?”

“Nothing.”

Ryder walked to the corner where a notch was carved into rock where clothes were stashed for just such occurrences. He took a pair of jeans and a flannel plaid button-down and put them on. “How deep did you search?”

“No' as deep as you will. I wanted to see if anything would come up. There was nothing.”

“Which means there's definitely something.”

Con nodded his blond head. “I agree. I've got a meeting in Paris tomorrow. I'll be leaving later this afternoon.”

“Since when do you tell me what you're doing?”

“Since all of you have been snooping into my life.”

Ryder grinned. “We just want to know who the lucky lady is.”

“No' going to happen.” Con dropped his arms and stood. “I'm sending Asher to a distributer meeting in Prague tomorrow.”

“Do we expect a surprise visit?”

“I always expect the Dark now. Doona factor out Ulrik either.”

Ryder crossed his arms over his chest. “I'm good, Con, but I'm already stretched to the limits with all the searches I'm doing.”

“Then make use of Kinsey. While she's here,” he added as he walked from the cavern.

So much for Ryder wanting to get away. He had no choice but to get to his computers immediately. The fact Con left him alone last night was surprising, but also concerning. It was out of character for Con in a very big way.

Ryder hurried from the mountain. It wasn't until he was halfway up the stairs that he remembered his boots. He'd get them later. There was too much to do for him to waste time turning around.

He got to the room and took his seat, pulling his chair forward. The computers recognized his presence instantly and the virtual keyboard lit up.

On one screen was a name typed into a search: Sam MacDonald. A common enough name. So common that over eleven thousand pulled up.

Ryder narrowed the search to look for men around the same age that Ulrik appeared—mid-thirties. It reduced the number to right at four thousand.

Still too many names. Next, he tightened his search to any of the Sams who owned their own business. That significantly lessened the hits to fifteen hundred. Ryder couldn't focus the search on hair or eye color, because Ulrik would be able to change those if needed. Nor could he search by area.

He was going to have to go through each and every picture to see if any of them matched Ulrik. That was going to take an enormous amount of time.

Ryder looked up at his monitors. The eight closest to him were all either running searches or showed live feeds from the cameras throughout Dreagan.

With no other choice, he moved what Kinsey had been working on to the last four screens farthest from him and took over another four.

He continued searching for Ulrik in Ireland and Scotland, going through every Sam MacDonald who owned a business to see if they were Ulrik, checking on MI5 who were still on Dreagan, trying to tie Ulrik to sending Kinsey to Dreagan, not to mention clearing Kinsey's name.

Kinsey. She was never far from his thoughts. Even when he was as swamped with work as he was right now, she was still there in his mind.

Their night together only reminded him of everything wonderful she brought to his life. Immortality was monotonous when spent alone.

Ryder didn't go looking for love. He'd had his share of women, but none of them caught his attention—and his heart—like Kinsey.

Her infectious smile, her genuineness and sincerity, and her empathy were what hooked him. Her beauty and amazing violet eyes might have first caught his attention, but it was just a benefit to everything else she was.

And he'd ruined her.

How many times had he seen humans move on from such loss and find happiness again? Millions of times. Ryder had honestly thought she would do the same. He should've known Kinsey was different from the rest.

Ryder didn't want to spend the day with his computers as he normally did. He wanted to be with Kinsey. It wasn't enough to have her in the same room working with him.

He wanted to see her smile, to hear her voice as they talked about anything and everything.

He wanted to eat a meal with her across the table from him instead of stuffing bites of food in their mouths as they worked.

He wanted to walk the grounds of Dreagan with her, to take her into his mountain and show her his home. It was a place no human had ever been, but he wanted her to see it.

Ryder's shoulders fell. As much as he yearned to do all those things, he wasn't sure Kinsey would be willing. Perhaps after they discovered her innocence. He'd had a night in her arms. That was all he could spare right now.

All those at Dreagan were counting on him. What he wanted and needed would once more be put on hold for the good of Dreagan and his brethren, as well as their mates.

Ryder rolled his head from side to side. It was time to get down to business.

 

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

Kinsey opened her eyes. She blinked at the sun shining through the window and smiled as she recalled her night in Ryder's arms.

A night like that could change a woman's life. Kinsey should know. He'd done it to her before. And he almost repeated it last night. The only thing that kept her safe was that she didn't give herself completely.

She turned her head, hoping to find him. Her smile died a little when she found Ryder gone. But this time there was an indent in the pillow. Proof that he'd been with her.

Kinsey threw off the covers and rose from the bed. She quickly showered once she saw the time. Today she threw her hair up in a messy bun at the back of her head and didn't use any makeup. She threw on a pair of leggings, a waffle-knit red shirt that went under her favorite flannel shirt that was a blue, white, and red plaid, and her boots.

It wasn't until she was walking into the kitchen that she realized the plaid shirt once belonged to Ryder. He'd left it behind.

Kinsey turned around to change when she found four women in the kitchen doorway. She recognized Lexi and smiled.

Lexi moved away from the women to her. “Hope we didn't startle you,” she said in her American accent. “We saw you coming down the stairs, and the others wanted to meet you.”

“All right.” What else was Kinsey supposed to say? That she was more comfortable with computers than people? Strangers were no problem, but people that were friends of Ryder's? Well, that could be tricky.

Lexi's smile grew. “I promise we don't bite.”

“That we leave up to our men,” said a tall woman with short blond hair. “I'm Grace.”

Her accent sounded American mixed with something else. French, perhaps? “Hello.”