Sliding Into Home (20 page)

When Kendra Met Hank

By the beginning of 2008 I was getting antsy. Living at the Playboy Mansion with Hef and the girls and filming the same show for four straight years was the biggest commitment I’d ever made.

I like change, and I need change, so I knew I was due for a big move.

The thing is, I usually just let nature take its course and guide me. I could have left Zack at any time, but it wasn’t until Hef called that I took action. This time around, I knew it was only a matter of time before the show came to an end, and while I was prepared financially I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with my life. But I was ready for a big move, and I knew that sooner or later something (or someone) would help me kick off the next phase.

The problem, of course, was that it was nearly impossible to meet anyone who could sweep me off my feet while I was living at the Mansion. When we weren’t out with Hef, we still had a nine
P.M
. curfew—even after the show became a hit. And if we were out late
promoting the show or doing appearances, we always had a bodyguard with us, watching our every move.

The Mansion was locked up tighter than Fort Knox. Even as a kid, I was always sneaking out, and if I got caught I could run away. But the Mansion was different. With a hit TV show and a man I respected too much to disappoint, there was no getting caught or running away.

But a girl’s got needs!

I’d have a fun fling with a guy every now and then, but it was nearly impossible to have a real relationship when I was always looking over my shoulder. It was getting pretty frustrating. And then, on March 27, 2008, at the Playboy Golf Classic in the City of Industry, California, I met Hank Baskett.

Hank thinks he tells the story of how we met better, but since this is my book I get to do the talking. That said, in the spirit of compromise (which is an important part of marriage), I’ve included parts of his side of the story here as well.

So, I was at the Classic, looking really cute in my tiny gold skirt, when the event coordinator came up to me and asked me if I knew Hank Baskett. She’d told me a little about him ahead of time, but I hadn’t really thought much of it. Hank says that before that, the same coordinator had called him and asked if he wanted to meet me. Hank knew I liked sports, and from what he had seen it seemed like I was a wonderful person (his words, not mine), so he thought it would be cool to meet me. So the day of the golf tournament he knew we were going to meet, but he didn’t want me to know that he knew who I was. Smooth move.

In addition to what the event coordinator told me, I watched the Eagles and remembered seeing him score a touchdown against the
Cowboys. I thought he was a tight end (he wasn’t, but in any case I thought he was a pretty awesome player). The event coordinator told me he had a crush on me (Hank, of course, denies this) and wanted to meet me. I thought he was kind of my style, but I’d never really had someone try to hook me up with a guy like that before, so I was a bit hesitant.

The morning of the tournament Hank was on the driving range talking with my friend Shaun Phillips from the San Diego Chargers when he spotted me posing for photos. Shaun walked over and started talking to me, and then brought me over to meet Hank. He introduced himself in this deep voice—“Hi, I’m Hank Baskett”—that I just loved. A photographer at the event took a photo of us right at that moment, so we have a photo from the first second we met. In it, we look like we’re already together. We look married in that picture, like we are meant to be a couple—it’s so weird.

I asked Hank which course he was playing, and when I realized we were on different courses I got upset. But Hank wasn’t going to try to switch and cause trouble, so we had no choice but to go our separate ways. I found out later that right when we walked away from each other Hank called his best friend and told him all about me.

I spent the whole day on my assigned course, drinking and having fun with other athletes. Shaun was on my course, and I bugged him all day about Hank. I told him that I thought Hank was cute, and I wanted him to pass the message along, since I wasn’t sure if I gave off the right signals during our first meeting. I had acted shy, which I never do.

Toward the end of the day, Joe, my
Playboy
security guard, came over to me and told me I had to leave for Las Vegas. We were going there to film the episode in which Stacy Burke, one of Hef’s former girlfriends, got married, and I had to be there. I had never been so upset about having to go to Vegas in my life. I argued with Joe for an hour, but I didn’t have a choice. I had to go. So I hopped in Joe’s golf cart and we started driving toward the clubhouse. Hank just happened to be finishing his first nine holes and was passing the clubhouse right as I was driving by with Joe.

If I had left right away, I would have missed Hank altogether. But he saw me, and he saw me see him. I screamed “Hey!” and made Joe stop the golf cart. Hank started coming toward me and I liked the way he walked. He looked cool, but not like some cocky asshole. I could tell just by the way he walked that he was confident but also a good guy, so I asked for his number.

We joke about this now because you would think that Hank would have asked me for my number first, but Hank says he thought I was so nice and so real, he just clammed up. So I got his number and told him I had to leave for Vegas, and he thought he would never hear from me again. Later that day I texted him: “Hey, it’s Kendra, what’s up?”

He couldn’t believe I had texted. Apparently he had been hearing my laugh in his head all day (or so he says), so he was really happy—and shocked—to get my message. We texted back and forth about seeing each other at the post-Classic party the next night.

I rushed back from Vegas so I could make it to the party. We were shooting the show that day and the filming was taking forever so I was nervous I wasn’t going to make it. I got to L.A. at eleven
P.M.
and
the party was over at one
A.M.
, so as soon as I got there I ran in and started looking all over for him.

When we finally found each other we were really excited. I went up to Hank and gave him a hug. My friends—like Shaun, and Vernon Davis of the San Francisco 49ers—were on the other side of the room, so I told him I had to go over there and be with them. I guess he was a little shocked—he thought we were going to hang out, and although I was thinking about him the whole time, it’s not like I could ditch my friends. Plus, I was a crazy party girl back then and I always just bounced around the room and got drunk. I wasn’t trying to mess with him. I liked him, and my friends could see it. But I had to be careful about who I was seen spending time with, and even though he was disappointed that was just how it had to be.

I texted him first thing the next morning as he was getting on a plane. When he got home that night, we spoke on the phone and it went really well. He was so easy to talk to and we had so many things in common, and between sports, music, and our families, there was so much to talk about. I didn’t know if things were going to get romantic between us, but I was open to seeing how things went. I decided I was just going to wait and see with Hank.

We’ve talked every day since that first phone call. Our conversations would last for hours, and what started off as a friendship grew into a relationship unlike anything I have ever had. It was just . . . perfect.

It was pretty crazy how Hank and I hit it off right away. We talked as often as possible. I would just sit in my room at the Mansion,
away from everyone else, and talk to him. No topic was off-limits. I would tell him the most off-the-wall things about myself, and while sometimes I think he thought I was crazy, he didn’t run away, which was a good sign.

We had plenty of real conversations, too. In a sad coincidence, early in our relationship both my grandfather and his grandmother died, in the same week. Hank called me to tell me she had passed away while I was in the hospital with my grandfather. I sat on the phone with him while I held my grandfather’s hand, and we opened up to each other and bonded a lot during that difficult time. I knew by the way he talked about his grandmother that he was someone special, and I know Hank would say the same thing about me and my grandfather.

I could have talked to any of my closest friends about my feelings when my grandfather was dying, and he could have called any of his friends. But we chose each other, even after just hanging out for one day. I found comfort in his voice. We grew closer not so much romantically but spiritually, and for the first time in my life, that actually seemed like the better option.

I got to know his heart and his intentions. I knew that he was in this because he was a caring person, and that there was a special bond between us. I also knew that we could be more than friends.

Toward the beginning of the summer I was invited down to San Diego to throw out the first pitch at a Padres game. That was a huge honor for me. I grew up going to games with my grandfather, and I was a big Padres fan.

I called Hank and told him what a big deal it was for me. My mom, my grandmother, my brother, and my childhood friend Brittany—all the people who were important in my life—were going to be there, and I wanted Hank to be a part of that group. It took a little courage on my part, but I told him it would mean the world to me if he came.

Although I spent every free second in my room talking to Hank, this was a big step. Talking was one thing; having him come to San Diego was another. But I was ready. He was ready, too, and he agreed to come.

We decided that I would pick him up at LAX and we’d drive down to San Diego together. As I left the Mansion, I was nervous. I didn’t know how it would feel to be with Hank in person. So much had changed since we first met. We were a lot closer, but I thought it might be awkward to be with him in the flesh.

I’d been worrying about being face-to-face with him for days, but since I was still living at the Mansion and I was still Hef’s girlfriend I couldn’t talk to anyone about it. I had to deal with the emotions on my own.

I also had to be very careful to make sure we didn’t get caught. I wasn’t sure where this relationship was going yet and I didn’t want to ruin the show or be disrespectful to Hef, especially after all he’d done for me. But at the same time, everyone at the Mansion could tell that I was drifting away from my life there, even Hef. He knew something was up. Before I met Hank, I was always excited to get out and party, and now I was constantly holed up in my room. Everyone could tell I was different. Still, I tried to be slick.

I left the Mansion in pink pajama pants, a gray and white sweatshirt, and a pair of earrings. I’m not a jewelry person; I hate having anything dangling on me, and I never wore jewelry at the Playboy Mansion, so when I walked out in earrings, all the butlers knew
something was up. I looked too cute for a drive to my mother’s
house. Carlena asked me about it and I didn’t lie—I told her I was going to the airport first. I just didn’t tell her who I was picking up. Since I was going to San Diego to my mom’s house I didn’t have a bodyguard with me, so I really didn’t have to answer to anyone.

I was feeling shy and nervous when I got to the airport. Hank’s flight was delayed about forty-five minutes, which was fine because I was thirty minutes late anyway. I parked the car and waited for him, trying to stay incognito. My cell phone didn’t work in the parking garage outside the US Airways terminal, so I hid behind a bush just outside the garage and waited. It was pretty sneaky.

He finally came outside and we shared a long hug and a quick kiss on the cheek. We were both way too tense for some big makeout session. Plus, he was very respectful, so that wouldn’t have been his style.

As we were pulling out of the garage I realized that I had lost my parking ticket. I got really mad at myself because I didn’t want him to think I was unorganized or some sort of idiot, but he didn’t judge me.

Finally we got out of LAX and began the two-hour drive to San Diego. We started off with nervous talk—I think I asked him how the flight was about fifty times—but then, about thirty minutes in, I just thought
Screw it
—it was time to get real. I felt like now was as good a time as any to tell him my whole life story, so I did.

I told him everything. I talked about my dad, the drugs, the psych ward, running away from home, cutting, stripping—
everything
! I even told him that I wanted to be a mom and have a family someday. He needed to know the real me, and I thought the best way to make that happen was to just put it all out there. I thought he was going to open the car door and jump out a few times, but he
didn’t. Instead, he told me about his childhood and his family and the charity work he does.

All of my past relationships had started off with sex. I would jump right into a physical relationship without knowing the guy at all. This was different. Between the hours on the phone and the two-hour car ride, Hank and I knew each other as well, if not better, than anyone else—and we hadn’t even kissed yet.

When we got to our hotel in San Diego we were so tired we passed out face-to-face on the bed. The next day I had to do a radio show at seven
A.M
. Hank came with me, and I told the nosey radio DJs that he was a family friend. They bought it.