Sleigh Bells in the Snow (28 page)

His smile was slow, his eyes an intense blue in the light of the morning. “Why?”

“Because I always wake at five. I don’t sleep late.”

“But you slept late today.” He brushed her lips with his thumb and turned back to deal with the breakfast. “That’s good.”

“It’s not good, Jackson!” She ran her tongue over her lips where he’d kissed her. Everything about him unsettled her, not least the fact he didn’t seem unsettled at all. He was so relaxed. So sure of himself. “I have to finish off my proposal, make some calls, wash my hair— Why are you smiling?”

He flipped the bacon. “Because we both know the reason you’re panicking about waking late has nothing to do with work.”

“I thought you were eager to get this project started, too.”

“I am. But I have room in my life for things other than work, and I know you’ll get the job done. And your hair looks great, by the way. Can you pass me the eggs from the fridge?”

How could her hair look great?

She hadn’t dared look in the mirror but she had to look a tousled mess.

Dazed, Kayla dragged open the door of the fridge and found the eggs. “I wanted to write up the proposal, send it across to the office and then be ready to make some calls this morning.”

“You can still do all that.” He handed her a bowl. “Break four eggs into that.”

She smashed an egg and it landed in the bowl with a broken yolk and pieces of shell.

Jackson sighed and fished out the shell with a spoon. “What did that egg ever do to you? Calm down.”

“I’m calm.”

“Sweetheart, you’re shaking.” He covered her hand with his and rapped the egg on the side of the bowl so that it broke neatly. “There. Easy.” His hand was warm and strong and suddenly she couldn’t breathe.

“I don’t know what any of this means.”

“It means we’re eating breakfast.” He squeezed her hand and then released it, removed bacon and added mushrooms to the pan. “Once a week I allow myself a heart attack breakfast. Today is that day. You can join me. Last night didn’t kill us—this might but at least we’ll die together.”

“I don’t eat breakfast.”

“You don’t sleep late, either, but you managed that.” His arm brushed against hers, and she realized how strange it felt to be standing side by side in the kitchen with a man, cooking.

“Jackson—”

He sighed. “Relax, honey. You feel out of control, but we can’t control everything that happens in life. Sometimes we just have to go where the tide takes us and know we’ll cope with whatever comes along.”

“I can’t live like that.”

“We all live like that. Control is an illusion. You think you’re in charge and then—whoosh—life happens when you’re not looking and you realize the best thing you can do is just roll with it.”

She wondered if he was talking about losing his father so suddenly. “I know there are some things we can’t control, but there are things we
can
control and I like to control those things. It’s what I do.”

“That’s because to you
everything
is work, but even that can’t be completely controlled. If it could, this place wouldn’t be the mess it is.”

She marveled at the way he handled the pressure. “I know you can turn this place around.”

“So do I. Unfortunately, Gramps doesn’t, which gives me a dilemma. Do I do what the business needs and upset him, or do I keep him happy and risk losing this place? It doesn’t give me pleasure to cause him this much stress.”

Kayla thought about the conversation she’d had with Walter the day before. “He worships you.”

“I don’t doubt that he loves me—” his tone was gruff “—but trust me to run this place? Make decisions and changes? No. And that’s the part that counts.”

She handed him a plate. “Have you tried talking to him?”

“I’ve talked to him a million times.” He slid the eggs onto the plate and added bacon. “It doesn’t seem to help.”

“He’s scared, Jackson. And you take him ideas that scare him even more, so he fights. Instead of talking about how you’re going to change Snow Crystal, maybe you should talk about all the things you love about it. Listen to his vision, and if it seems unrealistic, out of date, maybe you should find a way of helping him see that.” She shook her head, embarrassed. “Sorry. I know nothing about working with family. Ignore me.”

“No.” Frowning, he put the plate down. “You’re right. Our conversations are always about the changes I’m making. From the day I arrived back, eighteen months ago, it’s been about survival, firefighting, crisis management.”

“I suppose that’s inevitable.”

Jackson cursed under his breath and rubbed his fingers over his forehead. “I stormed back in here like some corporate warrior, sure I knew what I was doing, and sure I could fix things. I was so shaken by losing my father and the discovery that he’d left a mess, I didn’t tread sensitively. It’s no wonder Gramps doesn’t want me here.” He stood for a moment and then drew in a deep breath. “I’ll go and talk to him when we’ve finished breakfast. While I’m gone, take a shower and get dressed in something warm. I’m taking you skating on the lake. I promise not to let you fall.”

Kayla opened her mouth and closed it again. She was allowed some secrets, wasn’t she?

“Sounds like fun.” As he turned to her, her breath caught. “Jackson, do me a favor—”

He lifted an eyebrow and a wicked smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “Again?”

“Very funny—”

His head lowered to hers. “What is this favor?”

“Put some clothes on. Right now.”

“That’s the favor?” Laughing, he backed her against the countertop, all pumped-up muscle and male virility. “Is there some reason you want me to put clothes on, Miss Green?”

“Yes.” She tried to push him away but it didn’t work out that way. “I can’t concentrate when you’re half-naked.”

“Is that right?” His mouth was on her neck. Lower.

Her eyes closed. “Jackson—breakfast—”

“You don’t eat breakfast.” He scooped her into his arms and carried her back to the bedroom.

By the time they eventually ate their breakfast, the eggs were cold.

* * *

H
E
LEFT
HER
naked and working in bed while he went in search of his grandfather.

He found him sitting on a log, staring at the mountains.

Something about his expression made Jackson’s heart tighten. “Need any help?”

“Why?” Turning his head, his grandfather scowled at him. “Are you taking a break from pouring good money after bad?”

Fear,
Jackson thought. What he was seeing was fear.

“Nothing I’ve done has been bad, Gramps.” He spoke quietly. “What is it you want for Snow Crystal? I assumed you wanted to keep this place going, and that’s what I’m trying to do.”

There was a long silence.

“What I want,” his grandfather said, “is for you to go back to Switzerland or wherever it is your fancy company is based and leave this place to those of us who know how to run it.”

The words lit the fire under the neat stack of frustration that had been slowly building over the past eighteen months.

“There’s more than one way to get something done. I’ve seen you come down a mountain sixteen different ways, and running a business is no different. I may not be taking the route you took, I may not be doing things the way you did them, but it doesn’t mean I’m wrong. I can run this place. I can keep it going and build it. Why can’t you trust me to do that?”

“Because I don’t want you to.” Walter stood up and picked up the ax, his knuckles white on the handle. “I don’t want you to run this place.”

The words drove into his belly like a physical punch.

The silence was broken only by the sound of his grandfather’s uneven breathing.

Jackson knew better than to let the first thing in his head come out of his mouth, so he waited a moment. He tried never to let emotions enter into his business decisions, but when those decisions involved family he’d discovered it was all about emotion. He’d trained himself not to take anything personally, but how could this not be personal? “You don’t think I can do it.”

“I know you can do it.” His grandfather thumped the ax into the log and left it there, vibrating with the force of the blow. “You can do anything you put your mind to. I saw it when you were four years old. If something stood in your way and you couldn’t get over it, you went around it. You’re clever. And you’ve got a way with people. Those things together—well, it’s a real gift.”

The shift from insult to compliment was so swift Jackson was left reeling.
Your grandfather is so proud of you.

“But—” he had to push the words through the roughness of his throat “—if you know I can do it, then why don’t you want me here?”

“Because this place swallows you up. It takes all you have and still demands more. And it’s never enough.” His grandfather sank back down onto the log, his movements unsteady. At that moment he looked every one of his eighty years.

Jackson stared at him, seeing a stranger. “I thought you loved Snow Crystal.”

“Love?” His grandfather tilted his head and breathed the air and stared at the mountains. “I’ve stared at these same peaks since the day I first opened my eyes. You’d think I’d be bored of the view by now, wouldn’t you? Truth is, the only thing that lifts my mood more than looking at those mountains is looking at your grandmother, and she’s part of this place. Of course I love it. I was born loving it and I’ll die loving it, but loving it comes at a price and I didn’t want any of you to pay that price. I wanted all of you to be free to live your lives the way you want to live them. If you’d stayed to run this place would you have gone to Switzerland and built your company? Would Tyler have won medals? Would Sean have become a doctor?”

“Nothing would have stopped Tyler skiing or Sean becoming a doctor.” Jackson’s throat felt raw. His chest ached. “You sent us away. Hell, Gramps, you virtually kicked the three of us out.”

“I did it for your own good.”

Jackson dragged his hand over the back of his neck, wondering why that possibility hadn’t occurred to him. “I thought you didn’t want us here.”

“I didn’t. But it was never because I thought you couldn’t do it.” His grandfather’s eyes were fierce. “I wanted you to choose your own path, not have this one thrust on you. I didn’t want loyalty to your family holding you back from doing what you needed to do. This place has been my life. I didn’t want it to be yours.”

Jackson thought about the burden his grandfather had carried. And he would have carried it alone, because his father hadn’t been interested.

“You should have told me how bad things were here. You should have let me come home sooner.”

“And tie you up with debts and worries?” Walter reached forward and picked up one of the logs he’d chopped. He rubbed his hand down the rough bark and then threw the log on the pile with the others. “That’s not what I want for you. Birds should fly the nest, not be tethered to it. It was our problem, not yours.”

“And you didn’t think I could make that decision for myself?”

“This place was my father’s dream and then it was my dream. It was never yours. A man shouldn’t have to carry the weight of another man’s dream.” There was a sadness in his voice. “I gave that dream to your father to carry and it weighed him down. I have to live with the guilt of that. I wasn’t going to put that same weight on you. I may be old, but I can still learn.”

Jackson felt pressure in his chest and a thickness in his throat. He’d never had trouble forming words before. “What if it’s my dream, too?”

Silence stretched, long and deep.

Walter’s throat worked as he stared at the mountains.

Jackson put his hand on his grandfather’s shoulder. “What then, Gramps?” He saw the sheen in his grandfather’s eyes and the tension in his jaw that came from expending effort to hang on to control.

“I guess that would be different.”

The atmosphere shifted.

“Gramps—”

“Is it your dream?”

Jackson was surprised by how easy it was to answer that question. This time there was no pause and no silence. “It always has been. Maybe I had to go away to see it.”

Walter’s shoulders relaxed. The tension left him. “You’ll save this place. You can do anything you want if you put your mind to it.”

There was no crash of cymbals to highlight the dramatic shift in their relationship. No fireworks to welcome in a new phase. Just words. But words so deeply felt they changed everything.

“
We’ll
save it.” Jackson wrapped his arms around his grandfather and felt strength and fire pumping beneath thin bones and fragile flesh. “We’ll carry that dream together. We’ll save this place together. That’s a promise.”

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

“
T
HE
LAKE
IS
usually frozen solid between December and March. Providing the weather is right, we maintain the section of ice closest to the lodge as a rink for pond skating and we maintain a skate trail around the lake. So far, it’s been a good year.”

“Hey, Kayla—” Tyler was already on the ice “—if you can stay upright we’ll make you an honorary member of the O’Neil pond hockey team.”

“Ignore him.” Jackson gave her elbow and knee pads. “These will help if you fall. We’re going to take it slowly to give you a chance to get used to being on the ice.”

Kayla secured the knee pads.

Maybe it was wrong of her not to say something, but she didn’t see why they should have all the fun.

Sean fastened his skates. “And if you do fall and break something, I’ll fix it for a discounted rate.”

“You’re so generous.” Kayla stood still while Jackson fastened her skates.

“Bend your knees slightly and lean forward. Whatever you do, don’t lean back.” He straightened and held out his hand. “Don’t be nervous. The ice is thick here so you’re in no danger of falling through.”

She ignored his hand and skated onto the ice.

“Kayla—”

“Back in a minute.” Enjoying herself hugely, she glided across the ice, getting the feel for the unfamiliar skates. Then she increased speed, flowed into a jump, spun and landed perfectly, executed another couple of spins and glided back to where Jackson and Sean were standing, mouths agape. “You’re right. It’s fun.”

Sean folded his arms, grinning. “Is there something you’d like to tell us?”

Jackson stared at her. “Where did you learn to skate?”

“At school, a long time ago.”

“You went to school in London.”

“So? They have indoor ice rinks. Not as picturesque as this, but ice is ice.” She doubted anywhere in the world could be more picturesque than this.

“You didn’t think to mention it?”

“I wasn’t sure if I could remember how to do it, or if it would feel different being outdoors. It doesn’t. It feels wonderful—” She glided away from them and spun again. When she stopped, Jackson was on the ice next to her.

“You’re good.”

“Not that good. I won a couple of junior competitions, but I wasn’t prepared to practice for hours at a time. I wasn’t dedicated enough.”

“You skated in competitions? Did you ever wear one of those incredibly short and revealing dresses?”

“Yes.”

With a groan, he lowered his head toward hers, ignoring the wolf whistling from his brothers. “Can I tempt you to wear one of those again?”

“You’re warped.” But her heart picked up pace and she saw his eyes darken.

“Remind me why we got up this morning instead of staying in bed?”

“Because I’m experiencing Snow Crystal, and you wanted to talk to your grandfather. How did that go by the way?”

“It went well. You were right about a lot of things.” He seemed about to add something to that comment but then looked over her shoulder and stopped. “Later. Jess is on her way over here.”

“Wow, Kayla!” Jess skated over to them, her face alight. “That was
so
cool. Will you teach me?”

“Sure. I’ll swap skating lessons for ski lessons.”

“Done. I want to learn how to spin.”

“You need to glide on your edge, turn your shoulders—” She demonstrated it several times and then they all skated together until Jackson was called away to deal with a problem at the lodge.

Kayla returned to the cabin, determined to work while she could.

She’d just removed her boots and jacket when Elizabeth arrived with Maple.

“Do you mind taking her for a couple of hours? I have to take Alice into the village to do some last-minute Christmas shopping and then Élise is giving me a cookery lesson.”

Maple leaped ecstatically at the sight of Kayla, who discovered she didn’t mind at all.

“I’m glad of the company.”

Which should have surprised her, because normally she resented interruptions when she was working.

She lifted the puppy and was rewarded by canine kisses. “I’ll bring her back over later.” Was it her imagination or did Elizabeth seem different? There was a glow to her smile and an energy in her step that hadn’t been there a few days earlier. “How’s it going in the restaurant?”

“Incredibly busy. It’s a crazy environment, but you’re part of a team and—it’s hard to explain, but I feel as if I have a purpose. I feel needed.”

“That’s because you are needed,” Kayla said drily. “Without you, Élise would be slitting her throat with one of her own kitchen knives.”

“She’s giving me a sauté lesson later.”

“Good luck with that.” But she was pleased to see Elizabeth looking so happy and pleased that she’d played a part in that.

Left alone, Kayla stripped off the clothes she’d worn for skating, took a hot shower and washed her hair.

She stepped onto the towel, her mind on work, and almost jumped out of her skin as something licked her toes.

Maple wagged her tail and Kayla pressed her hand to her chest and waited for her heart to slow down.

“You frightened the life out of me. I’d forgotten you like to do that.” She picked the puppy up and carried her through to the bedroom. “Good job you weren’t here last night because you are far too young to witness what went on in this room.”

With Maple watching, she pulled on a pair of jeans and a chunky cream sweater and left her hair to dry naturally.

Walking through to the living room, she spread out all her notes while the puppy settled down on the rug.

She worked harder than she’d worked in her life. Every account was important to her, but this was the first time an account had mattered to her on a personal level and she was determined to do all she could to get results.

She lost track of the time and nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard Maple bark and looked up to see Jackson standing there.

“You scared me.”

“Yeah, we need to work on that. You’re far too jumpy for your own good.” He reached down and tugged her to her feet. “I love your hair like that.”

“Messy?”

“That’s not the word I’d use. You look relaxed. Less uptight. I like it. When did you last eat?”

“Er—breakfast?” She ran her fingers through her hair, self-conscious. “You cooked it. It was cold.”

“You’ve been working all this time?”

“I didn’t realize it was so late. I’ve been finishing up this proposal, making a few calls—” She was excited enough to want to share the details, but decided it would be better to talk to them all at the same time. “When do you want me to present to your family?”

“You’re prepared to do that again after what happened last time?”

“Of course. This is a family business.”

“How about Christmas Eve? Élise is cooking.” He picked up Maple, and Kayla followed him to the door, work forgotten.

“Where are we going?”

“My place. I’m cooking you dinner.”

She ran her palms over her jeans and glanced toward the bedroom. “I should change—”

“Don’t. I like you like that. I think I might prefer chilled, sexy Kayla to corporate Kayla.” He pulled her toward him and delivered a lingering kiss to her mouth. “You look exactly the way you looked when you woke up this morning.”

* * *

I
T
WAS
THE
first time she’d been to his home. It had the same soaring ceilings and large windows as the cabins. The same charm. The same incredible view of the lake. “I love it.”

“This barn was built in 1902 to house a couple of hundred cattle.” He dug his thumbs in his pockets. “My brothers and I played here as kids. Used to hide up in the hayloft.”

“It was your idea to convert it?”

“Didn’t seem any sense in keeping it empty, and I needed somewhere that was mine. I added the deck because I liked the idea of drinking beer while watching the sun go down over the lake, but so far that’s been wishful thinking. When I’ve drunk beer it’s mostly been while standing up doing ten jobs simultaneously.”

She strolled to the large kitchen window. Ice crystals glistened on the surface of the lake, and the bright winter sun sent shafts of light through the trees. “The view is incredible.”

“It was this place that gave me the idea of building the log cabins. I loved the position. I figured others would, too.”

“That explains why it has the same feel.”

“I used to spend hours in these woods when I was young. Some nights the three of us camped out up in the mountains. If we were lost, we followed the river home. We knew how to survive in the wilderness. We have Gramps to thank for that.”

She tried to imagine what it must have been like growing up here, surrounded by laughter and family. “So you talked to him?”

“Yes.” As he relayed the conversation, her heart ached for Walter.

“He didn’t want you to be burdened.” She thought about the love that must have been behind such an unselfish action. “He’s a special man.”

“It’s generous of you to say that after the way he spoke to you on the first night.”

“He thought you were wasting precious money and didn’t see how PR could help. I didn’t do a good job of showing him. He was protecting this place. Protecting you. Everything Walter does is driven by his love for Snow Crystal. And love for his family. You’re lucky.” She felt his arms come around her and leaned against him. “So you’ve cleared the air. That’s a good Christmas present.”

“Yes. What about you, Kayla Green?” His arms tightened around her. “What do you want for Christmas?”

It wasn’t something she ever asked herself and certainly no one ever asked her. “A million bookings for Snow Crystal.”

“That’s work.” He turned her to face him. “What about the personal?” Dark lashes shielded sinful blue eyes and she felt her knees weaken. He had to be the hottest guy on the planet.

“I might buy myself something when Christmas is over.”

“Do you always buy your own gifts?”

“Why not? I don’t need people to buy me things, Jackson. I can buy them for myself.”

“People don’t buy and give gifts just because the other person can’t buy it for themselves. A gift is a symbol. It’s a way of showing someone that you care and want to make them happy.”

“Yes. I bought my earrings because I cared about me and wanted to make myself happy.”

He laughed. “When was the last time you received a gift you hadn’t chosen yourself?”

“Brett was pretty generous with the Christmas bonus this year.”

“I’m not talking about money.”

“Money suits me fine. I know what I want.”

“Maybe you don’t.” He lowered his forehead to hers, and she felt her heart kick against her ribs. He was right there in her personal space, and she was shocked to discover that was exactly where she wanted him.

“So if you were choosing me a gift, what would you give me?”

“I’d give you something you would never buy for yourself,” he said softly. “Something you possibly don’t even know you want.”

Standing this close to him, she could feel the warmth and power of his body. The chemistry was intoxicating, and this time she didn’t even bother fighting it. Instead she slid her arms around his neck.

“I know exactly what I want, Jackson.”

Fortunately, so did he.

* * *

C
HRISTMAS
E
VE
DINNER
was a special occasion. “In France, Christmas Eve is a big celebration.” Élise put food on the table with a flourish, roast duck cooked in a delicious sauce, the ingredients of which she refused to discuss. “It is a secret. I am trying something new.”

“So if we’re dead on Christmas morning, you know not to feed it to the guests,” Tyler grumbled. “I’m not sure how I feel about being one of your experiments.”

Kayla was finding it almost impossible not to look at Jackson and wondered how Élise could be so relaxed around Sean. Despite her confession that morning at breakfast, the French girl hadn’t glanced once in his direction, nor he in hers.

There was no banter. No exchange of small talk. No comfortable laughter.

They’d been intimate, and yet not once did they look at each other.

And Kayla realized suddenly that they weren’t relaxed at all.

She could have sliced through the tension with one of Élise’s kitchen knives.

She glanced around the table.

Brenna was arguing with Tyler, and Jess was telling Alice about a run they’d done that morning.

Maybe she was the only one who had noticed. Maybe she was imagining it. She was no expert on relationships, was she?

And there was no time to dwell on it because all too soon the meal was over and she was the focus of attention.

Had it really only been a week since she’d stood here and tried to give the presentation? It felt like a lifetime ago.

Looking at the photographs on the wall she saw Jackson, aged about four, building a snowman with Sean. She could clearly see they were twins and wondered how she’d missed that the first time.

“Kayla?” Jackson was watching her, and the concern in his eyes touched her.

Walter scowled. “Well? Where’s your laptop? We’re all waiting to hear your miracle ideas.”

“I left my laptop in the cabin.”

“How are you going to impress us if you don’t have all those fancy graphs?”

Jackson sighed, and Kayla quickly smoothed down the spike of tension.

“I’m going to impress you in other ways—for example, by reminding you of my log-chopping abilities.”

“What abilities are those?” But Walter’s eyes gleamed with humor as she flexed her biceps.

For this presentation she’d chosen to wear a cardigan in a pretty shade of green with her black trousers tucked into boots. She felt so much more relaxed and comfortable than she had that first night in her stilettos and pencil skirt.

“I got through the whole pile of logs this morning.”

“You call that a pile? We’ll heat the cabins for half an hour on what you chopped, and we almost had your foot along with it. Hardly surprising. All you’ve ever lifted is a pen. Now what are we going to do about this place?”