Sleeping Love (19 page)

She didn’t realise she was crying so hard until she noticed the car had stopped and he was pulling her into his arms. She basked in his warmth, the fresh smell of cedar wood and pine filling the air around her, a blanket of male security soothing her fear momentarily. She held on to his taut, firm frame frightened that if she didn’t, she would lose him, even though it seemed inevitable that would have to be the case. If she left, he would never know, would never find out the truth, and he could carry on. She held tighter.

She didn’t want to go. She knew she loved him. She remembered every last detail of their love now. But she couldn’t afford to let him know how much she had missed him or the pain he caused her with Cressida and her games. How they talked about starting a family after a few years and her desire to change her career. Their lives had been perfect. A fairy-tale wedding and courtship followed by a blissful happy ever after until Cressida and the stalker.

Then she remembered the rows and her fight to maintain her independence, despite his potent male need to protect and control her life until he was assured of her safety. She loved him, there was no doubt. He had succeeded in uncovering her sleeping memories. She was his and always would be, even when she left him.

Chapter Twelve

Raoul held her hand in the car. He kept her warm in the helicopter as it sped over the French countryside covered in a soft downy blanket of snow. He didn’t question her further about Luc and Alain who sat in front of them. Back at the Chateau she retreated to their room before lunch.

‘I feel so rude, I haven’t seen anybody. You seem to be sheltering me from our guests.’

She was frightened of her need for him. It was so strong now she remembered, and she would have a hard time trying to convince him otherwise. The sooner he got the message that she was never going to remember the easier it would be for him to let go, or so she thought.

‘They are here for support. It isn’t one of our normal weekends, and they are aware that you see them as strangers. They just want to make things easy for you, as I do. How’s that arm?’

‘It’s ok. Listen about before, I still think it would be best if I leave. I don’t seem to be remembering anything concrete,’ she said it nervously as his hands rested seductively on her hips.

‘Hush, I don’t want to hear any more talk of leaving.’

He picked up her hand and brought her wrist to his lips and gently kissed it. She heard a breath escape her lips, awed that such a simple action could prove so potent a stimulation to the sexual act.

As she backed away he swung an arm up under her legs and lifted her on to the bed and slipped off her boots. She was still protesting, but her eyes blazed with aching need, her body limp and pliable to his direction. He pulled off her sweater and rounded his hands tightly over her breasts as if each time they made love he’d been parted from them for too long. His touch ignited a fire deep inside that melted her body, the heat too fierce to resist. His hands blazed across her stomach and settled there, one hand resting as his thumb made a circling motion, his face thoughtful. He kissed it gently.

‘Would you like to have a child, Sabrina? We were planning a family before the rows, before you disappeared. We were going to wait a couple of years, but we were both so eager.’

He kissed her throat.

‘Once this is all over and you are yourself again, I want us to have a child. I want all of you and all that you can give me.’

He leaned over her, studying her face intently. She looked up at him. There wasn’t anything she wanted more than to carry his child, creating the ultimate bond that would never separate them again. But it could not happen, not now. He read the answer in her eyes but also saw her apprehension.

He stroked his fingertips over the tender peak of her breast maintaining his pleasurable assault across her body, rendering it defenceless and obedient.

‘There has only ever been you, Sabrina. Cressida has never meant anything to me. I have never wanted or needed an affair with her. Do you believe me?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘I need your trust, Sabrina. Our marriage will survive, but it will be turbulent if you don’t. And that’s not the environment in which to bring up our child.’

She wanted to cry. He wanted to give her everything she wanted and craved, everything that was missing from her empty life, yet she knew she couldn’t take it. But Raoul had a wonderful way of making it impossible to refuse. Maybe she could pretend that she never remembered everything about her attack. But Luc would always be there.

What about his threat to tell Raoul about an affair they never had? And the way he stole money from Raoul’s company?

For that moment, all she could think about was Raoul and his desire for them both to have a child. It was enough to make her forget, to find hope that the matter would resolve somehow without Raoul and Louise having to be hurt. If she was parted from him, she didn’t know if she could stand it. Deep down she knew it was useless. Somehow he would find out. She had to protect him, but just for this moment she could pretend.

‘I trust you.’

It was a leap of faith, of remembering what they shared together before she was so brutally taken away from him. She felt a warm, moist, softness seep into the junction between her thighs anticipating his touch. He cupped the dark triangle tightly, pressing his palm hard against her until she cried out and her body lifted from the bed. He descended on her mouth with the force of a ravenous bird of prey. His hands swept round under her bottom and squeezed tight until her body rose from the bed again.

He quickly finished undressing her, groaning with pleasure that he could freely hold the quivering snow-white mounds, massaging them back and forth whilst his lips stole another kiss. She moaned under the fierceness of his touch, dancing and coiling like a snake to the tune his hands played across her body.

‘Do you remember the time I came to your office to take you for lunch, but we spent the time in a hotel room?’

Oh hell, yes, I remember. What a day. And you are wicked in reminding me. You know I will be helpless to your seduction. Damn it, I am putty in your hands and what is more than scary is that I want to be.

‘Yes, you confiscated my bra and panties. You threw them in the bin and forbid me to wear underwear again, that way, next time you came to my office you could just slip your hands up my skirt and touch me. It was your right as my husband to be able to take me whenever and however you liked,’ she whispered huskily. ‘Then two days later you came to my office to pick me up, hitched up my skirt and took me on top of my desk. Mmmm, yes I remember now.’

‘Good girl. Now you know I mean what I say. So don’t let me catch you with these things on again,’ he said tossing her underwear across the floor. ‘Or I will have to spank you,’ he grinned.

Sabrina’s hands clutched around his back pulling him nearer. Inside the fire was burning out of control. She was screaming in her mind for his touch to soothe and embalm the painful throb between her thighs. He was more than aware of her ache and cruelly decided to prolong it by flicking his fingers over her hips, circling the silky skin, dipping across her thighs. His fingers edged closer and closer but not close enough until she cried out his name and begged him touch her.

Sabrina unconsciously parted her thighs and raised her body invitingly to beckon him. He sank his fingers deep inside her making her buck as his thumb pressed and stroked her clitoris. He pushed his digits back and forth, enjoying the dip and swell of her hips and breasts, and teased her clit with a sharp pinch.

The pleasure ended momentarily as he rose from the bed and undid the buttons on his jeans. He pulled off his black sweater treating her to another vision of well-toned muscle that awaited her caress. He wore no underwear and his shaft was hard and pulsing. He turned Sabrina over and pulled her back against his kneeling form. A gentle whisper in her ear told her not to be afraid. He wanted to take her this way to prevent her from feeling crushed and rousing the memory of her attack. Savagely, he kissed her neck and massaged the tiny bud between her thighs as she lay back against his chest.

Sabrina writhed helplessly feeling her body pulse close to release. She gave a small whimper of aching need for him to be inside her body and felt relief when Raoul pressed his palm into her back to push her down onto all fours. With one deep thrust Raoul penetrated her. His lean body stretched out across her back as he curled his fingers through her hair in a possessive gesture, gently forcing her head upwards. His free hand rested on her hip to steady her as he rode them both to blissful satisfaction.

* * *

Sabrina lay content in Raoul’s arms. She snuggled up closer at the thought of having to leave the bed and him.

‘I don’t want to leave here. I want to stay in bed with you forever,’ she told him with seriousness, sliding her fingers over his smooth muscled chest.

‘I’ve really missed you, Sabrina. There were some times I lost hope and thought we would never be together again. They pressed me to declare you legally dead after five years because of your vote and rights in the management of the company. But I wouldn’t. I didn’t even want to consider the possibility that you were dead.’

He tilted her chin that was resting against his chest.

‘Since you’ve come home, I can’t help feeling I’ve put you through hell. I thrust you back in a world that was strange and alien. I pushed you to remember everything including what happened to you. I am forcing you to re-live that nightmare, one you chose to forget to protect yourself. I wonder if it would have been better to let you go on living the new life you’d made for yourself. I’m sorry I’ve been so selfish, Sabrina.’

She found herself caressing the firm line of his jaw, her fingertips brushing the tantalising roughness of the dark shadow that had not been groomed that morning. It was an erotic sensation that tingled against her palm. She considered what he said.

‘But you would have condemned me to live a lie for the rest of my life. You had no choice, Raoul. Whether I like it or not, I have to face what happened to me.’

She thought of Luc and Alain and frowned. She wanted to forget they even existed. Raoul obliged reaching for her body, pressing his lips against hers, laying her flat to slip inside her again. This time she felt no fear as his weight pressed down upon her. She trusted that he would not hurt her. Raoul had banished the fearsome ghost of her attacker who’d strove to keep them apart in bed.

* * *

Sabrina let the warm water of the shower cascade down her body, drowning out the voice in her head that told her she had to do something urgent about the situation with Luc or leave. No one would win whatever decision she made. She was going to have to choose who got hurt. She closed her eyes, her mind recounting a million memories of her life in the Chateau with Raoul, how they met, his arguments with Luc, Alain always staring, always making her uneasy. And her friendship with Amelia.

Her memory was coming back thick and fast after only a few days, forcing her to confront the demons she’d run from all those years ago. She pressed her hands against the wall and let out a cry as the night of her attack played inside her head like a bad movie. She could see Luc, his grip on her face and arm so tight. She had a feeling there was someone else in the room. This time the memory was longer. Luc was swearing at her in French, threatening her that if she told Raoul anything he would kill her.

She’d believed him after the rumours Amelia had told her about him. Then Luc was turning, talking to the other person in the room. There was only a small lamp on, and she could not see the man’s face. Luc raised his hand and slapped her hard knocking her to the floor and stepped back. Sabrina gasped feeling the fear and tension increase in her body as the memory stopped then started again. She couldn’t see the man’s face, only his arm as he yanked her up sharply. She could hear herself cry and plead with the man, but his hand reached out to tear the necklace from her throat, its emeralds dancing all over the wooden floor around her feet as he knocked her back to the ground. She shut her eyes and cried out. The memory shut down quick. When she opened her eyes, her hands were pressed taut against the wall, her body was cold and shivering despite the warmth of the shower.

An eerie feeling swept over her body. There was so much steam in the room, and she could not see much outside the shower cubicle, but her senses told her there was someone there watching her shower and possibly had been for a while. She saw the figure of a man move closer.