Sleepers (13 page)

“Okay, what do I need to do, then? What’s the trick?”

Bryden sat down next to me on the ground. He was so close, just like the last time. I wondered if he was going to kiss me again.

“How do you feel?” he asked.

“Fine, why?” It wasn’t true, but I wasn’t about to tell him about the effect he had on me.

“Think about it on a deeper level.
The fire in your belly.
Can you feel it?”
I closed my eyes and concentrated on myself, trying to block out the sound of the wind whistling through the trees and the birds calling to each other. I didn’t feel anything. No anger, no ice. None of the conflicting feelings, just a stillness I hadn’t felt in a long time.

I shook my head. “No, I don’t feel anything.” I was sure that I was on the right path.

“Then you’re never going to use magic again. Not the way you use your hands to fight. You just don’t have it in you.”

“What? How can you say that? You’ve barely even given me a chance!” I scooted away from him, not wanting to be close. His presence suddenly made me feel ill. “Just because it took you years to be able to move a rock doesn’t mean I can’t do it.”

It was back.
The damn fire in my belly, licking up at my wounded heart.
Couldn’t I just make it go away? I was tired of the whole thing.

“Did I make you mad?” Bryden asked.

“Isn’t it obvious?” I rolled my eyes.

“Good, then try to get rid of the fire. Let it out, somehow release it.”

“What do you mean?” I screamed. “If I knew how to get rid of it, don’t you think I would?”

I flopped on my back and pounded my feet on the ground like Trevin’s oldest brother, David, when he couldn’t get his way. I didn’t care how I
looked,
I had to do something physical to push the fire away. My memory flashed to when I’d screamed and collapsed a few days ago. That’s when I’d moved the rock. Bryden was making me mad on purpose and I had to do the rest of the work.

I sat up and pointed my hand at Bryden. The fire subsided and the cold pumped through my veins. He fell backward and grunted. I cackled, crawling across the grass to his side. He had a huge grin on his face.

For a brief moment, I pictured his arms wrapping around me. I shook the image out of my head. We weren’t here for that.

I hovered over him, my hair falling down the sides of his face, a curtain hiding us from the rest of the world.

“You did it, but did you have to knock me over? Why couldn’t you move the rock again?”

“You deserved it,” I said. “Talking to me like you did.”

“I had to. I didn’t know any other way to anger you quickly.”

His hand reached up through my hair and he touched my cheek. “It’s amazing what you can do. It took me years and I still have to concentrate really hard to do the smallest thing. I don’t think I could knock anyone over.”

“Have you tried?” I cuddled into his hand.

Bryden smirked and I felt a push on my chest.
Nothing hard, just a little pressure.
I looked down, but he wasn’t touching me.

“Are you trying right now?” I asked. He nodded. “A little pathetic, don’t you think?”

Bryden scowled and the pressure stopped. My smile faded when I realized he’d stopped trying. I shouldn’t have been so mean to him; he already had enough problems to deal with. I sat up and as I settled onto the ground, something struck against my shoulder and I flew backward, my entire body in the air. I didn’t touch ground, instead I hovered in the air for a few seconds and then floated back, landing softly on the ground next to Bryden.

He rolled on his side, pushed up one elbow and cradled his face in his palm. He stared at me, no smile on his face.

“You lied,” I said.

He grinned. “I’m good at keeping secrets. Years of practice.”

“Thanks,” I said, “for the soft landing. You had every right to drop me.”

“I’d never drop you, Lianne,” he said, still staring at me. I wasn’t uncomfortable. I welcomed his gaze, returning it just as intensely. I wasn’t sure what I was looking for in his eyes, but I wanted to lay there and stare at him for the rest of the day.

I propped myself up on my elbow too, our faces just inches apart. I moved in slowly, wanting to kiss him again, craving what I’d felt the first time. Except this time I wished he would kiss me because he wanted to, not because he was trying to teach me a lesson on controlling my fire.

I leaned in closer until our lips were a breath apart.

Bryden’s eyes closed and I closed mine, waiting to feel the kiss I ached for. He leaned in and we touched, our lips meeting as if for the first time, discovering every line, every curve. He draped an arm around my shoulders and cradled my head as I rolled to my back and we fell to the ground, arms and legs entangled.

I ran my hands down his back, not caring that it was covered in grass. Then I reached around the front and untied the string around his collar, loosening the top of his shirt. I looked down to his chest, the fine hair, and the strong muscles. Writing didn’t give him those muscles, obviously there was more I needed to learn about what he did in his free time.

His hands tangled in my hair as I reached to the bottom of his shirt and slid my hands underneath, running them along his chest. He sat up and pulled his shirt over his head, throwing it to the side.

I reached out for him, pulling him back down to me. His lips settled on my neck, sending chills down my body to my toes. I’d never felt this way before, never been affected so deeply. I wondered if this was what Mags had felt the one night she’d been with her lover. Was this the way it was supposed to feel? If it was, I never wanted it to end.

I pushed Bryden back and sat up, scooting as close as I could to him. Taking his hands in mine, I placed them on the loops of the strings holding my bodice together. His eyes widened, as he touched the strings, but not my body.

“Are you sure?” he asked.

I nodded my head, leaning in for a kiss and waiting to feel the release of the strings holding my clothes in place. Instead, he turned his head, breathed out, and scooted away from me.

“You’re still with Kellan,” he whispered.

I’d forgotten about Kellan again. I’d spent most of my life thinking about him and now that I had him I couldn’t stop thinking about someone else. What was wrong with me?

I nodded, not able to say it out loud. We were still together, at least as far as he was concerned. I knew I was done with him, had been for some time now
—
even if I hadn’t realized it. With nowhere else to turn, I’d gone the only route I knew, but now, I realized it was the wrong direction.

“I can teach you about magic and how to use it, but I won’t get in between your relationship,” he said, reaching for his shirt and pulling it back over his head. “We need to figure out what you’re going to do to save the queen tomorrow.”

I felt the flames flicker again, but this time I couldn’t control them, calm them. It hurt too much, knowing I had a choice to make. Bryden was right. It wasn’t fair of me to do this to Kellan, even though, in my heart I knew I had to break things off with him. He wasn’t the same boy I’d loved growing up and I knew now it was because he couldn’t control his fire.

He had changed. It was his hope that I’d change too and that had brought us together. He didn’t want me, just the girl he thought I’d become. But I’d learned to control myself. I didn’t lose sight of what was important to me: friendship, love, and trust. Kellan had given in to his fire. I couldn’t do that.

But I did have to figure out how to save Mags. That part of my heart hadn’t changed.

“Have you ever seen an execution?” I asked Bryden. I sat on my rock as he settled on the grass. We both tried to ignore what had almost happened between us. The moment had been broken, but I couldn’t stop thinking about him. If I could save Mags, then maybe I could have the time to figure out everything else. I needed to let Kellan go so I could move on with Bryden.

He nodded. “Once. I went about five years ago. I couldn’t stomach it and never went again. It literally made me sick. The man had been beaten within an inch of his life.”

Bryden’s shoulders shook as he shuddered. He was only a kid when he saw it, no wonder he’d never been back.

“But that wasn’t the worst of it.” He paused and took a deep breath. “The executioner missed.”

“What?” I gasped. I’d never heard this story.

“Oh, he hit him with the axe, but he missed the man’s neck. He had to go for a second swing. The crowd went wild, cheering. You would have thought the executioner did it on purpose. Maybe he did, as a lesson.”

“I’m so sorry you had to see that.” I wanted to reach out, put my arms around him, but that would only lead to something we shouldn’t do. Not yet. Not until I had everything sorted out.

“But the setup has always stayed the same,” he said, continuing as if he hadn’t just told the most horrifying story. Bryden had amazing control, something I hoped I could learn soon enough. “King Rotlar usually sits on a throne set in the middle of the dais. The person who is beheaded is not far in front of him, but far enough to be outside of the blood splatter zone. He likes to be close at the beheadings, to ensure they go off without a hitch. I think it makes him feel more powerful. Then the crowds are allowed to gather in the square and watch.”

I closed my eyes, trying to imagine the scene. All I saw was the Dalagan men with the beads in their hair, staring into the distance. But theirs was a hanging, Mags faced a different fate.

“How can I get close enough to rescue Mags?”

“If I use my magic to knock down the executioner, the king and his guards, you can free her. Then both of you can escape. You don’t have to kill anyone.”

“You’re going to help me?” I was stunned. Kellan wouldn’t help me. He’d encouraged me but refused any direct involvement. Yet Bryden, with his bum leg, wanted to help. “But you can’t run away with us. If we get away, how will you keep up?”

Bryden shook his head. “What’s important is that you and Mags get away. Let me take care of myself. I’d do anything to save you. Let me do this for you.”

“They’ll kill you.”

“Not if they don’t know it was me helping you. If I can hide they may think you did it all yourself. I can keep you in my sight the whole time, but make sure they don’t see me.”

“I could use my magic too,” I insisted. “You don’t have to put yourself in danger for me.”

Bryden shook his head. “No, you don’t have control yet and you can’t count on yourself to even make the magic work. I can’t rely on my body to cooperate just like you can’t rely on your magic. Neither of us can do it without the other. We’re a team, Lianne.”

I thought for a moment. It could work. But we’d forgotten one important person.

“Trevin,” I said. “We can’t leave Trevin behind. Mags would never leave without him and I can’t trust Albree to help us. She’d turn us in.”

“Do you know anyone else who can help us?”

I thought for a moment. The only other ally I had was Kellan. No one else knew my plan. I couldn’t trust anyone else.

“Don’t say Kellan,” Bryden warned. “It has nothing to do with any relationship you have with him. I just don’t trust him. I haven’t for years and I don’t want you to trust him either.”

“But he’s been helping me plan to save Mags this whole time.”

“And yet you had no plan other than to kill the king. We can do it without killing him. All we need to do is get Mags and Trevin away from here. Who cares if the king lives or not? What you should ask yourself is why Kellan wants him dead.”

I opened my mouth to explain, but then closed it. Bryden had a good point. Why did Kellan want the king dead? It wouldn’t help our people, I could see that now. What it would do is start another war, with me being the one responsible.

“I know you don’t trust him, but you don’t think he was setting me up, do you?” I asked. It was nearly impossible for me to believe. All those nights we spent together, all the times he held me in his arms. Was it all to convince me to do something I would never have considered before my Awakening? Maybe it was all a lie.

Bryden didn’t answer.

“Do you?” I pressed. I had to know what he was thinking or if he knew anything.

“I don’t know anything for sure,” he said, “but something isn’t right, Lianne.”

I’d forgotten how Kellan had urged me to kill the king before I found out about Mags’ fate. How he’d encouraged me after she was sentenced. How he said he couldn’t help me, but urged me to go ahead on my own.

I didn’t understand his goals or why he had to use me to accomplish them. Why couldn’t he do it himself? Maybe Bryden was right and I had been a fool to trust him.

“Until I know exactly why Kellan wants me to kill the king I can’t bring him in on this plan,” I said. “If I can’t trust him, I certainly won’t put Mags and Trevin’s lives in his hands. We need to do this together.”

“There is one more person who can help us,” Bryden said, “but you’re going to have to talk to Mags tonight.”

“Who?” I asked.

“Trevin’s father. She has to tell you who he is. If he truly loved her, like Mags thinks he did, then he might be willing to help Trevin escape.”