SLAM HER (17 page)

But the second I saw her blue eyes staring at me, I saw something else. I saw that she was hiding some serious pain. That she was thinking shit that was dark. On top of that, I suddenly saw my fucking future. And my fucking future was Belle.

So my wheels were turning as fast as my hands and tongue were moving on her sweet body.

And, shit, having my cock right there, right against that tight slit of hers… I never showed such self-restraint in my life. But I wasn’t going to have it happen like that between us. No fucking way in hell.

I leaned in and kissed Belle’s forehead.

There was so much bullshit running through my mind. It was part of the reason I never got involved with women. But this wasn’t just a woman with Belle… this was…

“We haven’t talked in like ten minutes,” she whispered.

“Yeah,” I said.

“You said you had to talk to me.”

“I did say that. Look, babe, I’m waiting for a call. I have to take care of some personal business. Until then, I’m not moving from this bed. I’m looking right at you. You have plenty to tell me, don’t you?”

“I’m a virgin,” Belle said.

I wasn’t expecting that.

I raised an eyebrow. “Oh…”

“Sorry. I didn’t know how to bring it up. I hate myself for it. My friends think I’m crazy.”

“Wait a second, Belle,” I said. “Don’t ever doubt on yourself because of that.”

“Coming from the guy who slept with how many women?”

“This isn’t about me,” I said.

“I just… we’ve been so close to stuff happening and it’s just… does it freak you out?”

“No,” I said. “But if you let me in… I’m not going to carry that burden of a story, Belle. It’s going to happen how it happens.”

“I know. But I trust you with it. It’s just…”

“I get it,” I whispered. I leaned in and kissed her.

You’re an asshole, Slam.

“Trust me,” I said. “You don’t need to explain a thing to me about it. I’m not some young punk that’s going to laugh at that, okay? Your decisions matter, Belle. No matter if other people disagree.”

“It’s not that I made this a decision,” she said. “My father…”

Fucking Chief Richards.

“He was controlling?”

“Yeah. My mother was murdered, Slam.”

“Shit,” I said.

“Oh, fuck,” Belle said.

She tucked her head into my chest. I wasn’t going to allow that to happen. I reached down and forced Belle to look at me. There were tears in her eyes.

“Tell me, babe,” I said. “Trust me with it. Okay?”

She blinked fast and nodded. I put my palm to her soft cheek.

What the fuck am I trying to prove now? I’m in too deep with her. I’m falling…

“I was really young,” Belle said. “I just remember parts of everything, you know? Like what my brain could process at that time. My parents fighting. My father had an affair. The affair ended and my parents got back together. He had been working crazy hours but then it calmed. Right after the affair. Then he took a case. I think it was some kind of gun thing or something. I really couldn’t look into it. My father blocked it all out. He worked crazy again. He drank a lot. My mother relied on me a lot. Things were bad, Slam. So bad.”

“It’s okay,” I whispered. I stroked her cheek. “Take your time.”

“Something happened with the case. Suddenly my father was in a good mood. He took my mother out on a Friday. The next day she went grocery shopping. I stayed home to watch cartoons. That’s when it all changed. The revenge against my father wasn’t directed at my father. But at us. His family. The plan had been to kill me and my mother together. But I wasn’t with her when it happened. Someone shot her. As she was walking to her car from the grocery store.”

I felt my heart twist a little. “Jesus Christ, Belle.”

“I remember when the call came in. My father went crazy. He left the house, leaving me there alone. I was terrified. The next few hours were a whirlwind. My best friend’s mother ended up picking me up and she explained to me what happened. I wasn’t even home. I wasn’t even with my father. I didn’t see him for a week after it happened.”

“I’m so sorry,” I said. “I’ve always hated your father. If I’m being honest, babe. He’s been after my ass since I was a teenager.”

That’s why I want to fuck you so bad, Belle. So I could get back at him.

“That doesn’t shock me,” Belle said. “After that happened, my father lost it. For good. All he did was drink and take it out on me. He thought he was protecting me but what he was doing was waiting for me to get hurt or killed. He didn’t want to save me from getting hurt, he wanted to make sure it would happen and be painless for him. It sounds crazy to say but it’s the truth. So if I was out with a guy, he’d have an officer show up. Not to get me out of there and protect my innocence, but to have someone there for when something bad happened.”

“That’s really fucked up.”

“Yes, it is. That’s why it never happened, Slam.”

I kissed the top of Belle’s head. “It’s okay, babe.”

“It’s not.”

“What happened to the guy who…”

“My father busted up the entire ring of guys,” Belle said. “Some got away, some got killed. Some got life in prison. The actual guy who killed my mother… he got away.”

Belle’s blue eyes were beautifully sad. That’s when I felt it.

I’d fallen for her.

I was supposed to fuck her and leave her… but I fell for her.

I touched her face again and knew bad things were already churning up in my mind and heart.

“Slam, I’m ready now,” Belle whispered. She blinked away tears. “You. Me.”

Her hand touched the top of my jeans and crept down, her small hand over the bulge of my cock.

I sucked in a breath. “Oh, babe, trust me, I want to tear you apart.”

“Then do it,” she said. “Tear me apart, Slam.”

The words were like wild poetry to my ears and cock. I felt myself stirring.

Belle moved up and kissed me. Her hand squeezed tighter between my legs.

My brain was trying to absorb all she just told me. My body wanted to not give a fuck about it and just go at it with her.

We started to kiss and I reached for the back of her head. My hand eased down and touched her skin. Down her back, following the bumps of her spine, following the curve of her back up to her ass. I squeezed and pulled, ready for her.

Shit, Slam, just do it. Fuck her senseless. Show her what she’s been missing.

Belle let out a sigh as we were kissing.

I growled under my breath.

I started to roll to my right when my cell started to ring.

It was fucking Knox calling me. The call I had been waiting for.

“Ah, shit,” I said, looking at Belle as she lay on the bed, on her back, completely naked.

“No.”

“I have to ride, babe. Club stuff.”

“Reaper’s Bastards…”

I nodded. I leaned over and kissed her lips. “I swear to you, Belle, I’m going to make everything okay. Just ride it out with me, no matter what.”

“Okay, Slam. I… I… trust you.”

I kissed her again and then again. Then down to her neck. Then to her chest. I left her with a kiss to her left breast.

I got the hell out of the apartment and sat there on my ride for a few minutes, letting the engine rumble. My plan had been so simple and that was the biggest fucking mistake of my life. Nothing was simple.

Shit, and to make matters worse, this had gotten really deep.

“Nothing is simple,” I whispered as I walked my two wheeled steel ride backward.

Yeah? Well neither is falling in love with the wrong goddamn woman.

“Say that again,” Uncle Jakey said.

He looked ready to kill me.

“You heard me. Tommy is now leverage. It shows our strength without violence.”

“Slam,” Knox said, “Tommy is roughed up.”

“But not dead,” I said. “And he’s ready to put it hard to Chief Richards. It’s like we’re taking someone he killed and throwing the body at him.”

“Fucking shit,” Uncle Jakey said. “This is why I don’t do this stuff.”

“Give me a goddamn minute,” I bellowed. “The guy fucked me. And I have a plan here.”

“Okay,” Knox said. “Let’s hear it out.”

“I take him to Chief Richards. I call and say I’ve got something on drugs. Chief will always take my call. He’s fucking rock hard twenty-four-seven trying to get me for good. When I show up with Tommy, Chief will shit himself. I make it known I know what he did to me with Tommy. Then Tommy starts ratting on everyone in his group. Chief has no choice but to follow through on it or else Tommy will tell the truth. Shit, I’ll bring in my lawyer if I have to on it. Chief will have no leverage on us then. And we’re giving him a gift in a way, you know? He can then take his witness and do what he wants. But I make it known the Reap is on to him. It’ll clear the air for all of us without violence. Without getting into trouble.”

I took a drink of piss warm beer and pushed the glass away. I rubbed my chin as the rest of the table looked at each other.

“I like it,” Matteo said.

“I second that,” Liam said.

“Smart,” Ari said. “It’ll send a shockwave through the department. You know Chief has a group of guys that know what he did.”

“So now we’re getting all fucking strategic,” Uncle Jakey said.

“It’s the only way to survive,” Knox said. “Keeps us out of prison. Keeps the club legit. Slam’s got something here, Uncle Jakey. We need to vote.”

Uncle Jakey waved a hand. “Fuck it. There ain’t no vote. Slam, get it set up. Make it happen.” He leaned forward and pointed a finger at me. “But if this goes south, your ass is back in prison.”

“I’ll take that,” I said.

“Good. This better put that fucking prick of a chief in our pockets. We need it.”

“Even if he’s not in our pocket,” I said, “he’ll understand not to fuck with us anymore.”

“Make it happen,” Uncle Jakey said. “Now, Matteo, Liam, Elijah, I need you three down in Portsriver for some action on fights.”

Uncle Jakey spouted off some more orders and gave Matteo twenty large to bet on some fights.

Chapel came to an end and I stayed for a little bit of a longer prayer session.

So did Knox.

He sat next to me. “She’s gotten to you.”

“Fuck off,” I said.

Knox put a hand to my wrist. “There’s nothing wrong with it. When you find the right pussy, get it. Get it for life, brother.” Knox then looked at me. “Just make sure you don’t fuck all this up because of her. I’ve never seen you not take a violent response.”

I looked at Knox. “I’m supposed to stay out of trouble and that’s exactly what I’m doing here. End of discussion. This is going to make life easier for the Reap. That’s my worry. Shit with Belle doesn’t matter. I haven’t lost my way.”

Bullshit, Slam. You’re so far off the fucking path, even a compass couldn’t come close to helping you.

I stood up and had to get away from Knox.

“Bro?” Knox called out when I got to the door.

I looked at him. “What?”

“It’s a great fucking plan,” he said. “I like this side of you.”

“Yeah? I don’t.”

That was the truth. I was better off slamming people’s fucking heads into walls and windows. I was better off fucking anything with a wet slit and night to kill. I was better off picking fights, getting arrested, and living beyond the edge of being an outlaw.

The last thing I needed was to feel domesticated. Or that I gave a shit about anyone.

But that’s exactly what was happening to me.

Fucking Belle.

twenty-six

(belle)

*NOW*

It had been hours since he left. I waited in bed for two hours. I even took a post-orgasm nap. Those were the fucking best, right? Except mine came crashing to an end when I had a dream about my mother. I saw her walking down the sidewalk. I charged after her, calling for her. I got close enough to touch her arm. When I did, she was ice cold. But I didn’t care. It was my mother! I pulled at her arm and she turned around. All I wanted to do was hug her. Tell her I loved her. Bring her back with me from my dream.

That’s when it became a nightmare.

My mother turned and there was a gunshot hole in her forehead.

She opened her mouth… and I woke up.

That’s when I started to cry.

Bringing that entire thing back to life in my mind and telling Slam was hard. I had taught myself a long time ago to push the story away. To never think about it because there was no resolution. Nothing would bring her back and nothing would justify what had happened. The truth was that I expected my father to get hurt. He was the cop, not my mother. He was the one who should have been shot at and attacked. Not my damn mother.