Skulduggery Pleasant: Last Stand of Dead Men (22 page)

Ghastly nodded to it, and left it standing there while the technicians continued to try to pull Clarabelle from the pillar.

He got to the Medical Bay just as Doctor Synecdoche was leaving. The only patient left in here was Fletcher Renn, who sat fidgeting on one of the beds, trying to find a position to ease his discomfort. The wound he’d suffered was deep, but it was already healing, and the leaves he chewed kept the pain away. But Ghastly knew from personal experience that by now the wound and its surrounding area would be itching like crazy thanks to the ointments and the various procedures that had saved Fletcher’s life.

“How are you feeling?” Ghastly asked.

“Better,” Fletcher told him. “I’m just waiting for them to bring me a wheelchair. I’m not even allowed to
walk
for the next few hours, and they’re saying I’m not allowed to teleport until the infection has been dealt with. That doctor with the name I can’t pronounce said it could be days.”

“Doctor Synecdoche.”

“Days, Ghastly. I can’t teleport for
days.
”

“Don’t dwell on it. Just focus on getting better.”

Fletcher sighed. “Ah, I’m fine. This is nothing. It’s annoying, but it’ll heal. To be honest, I’m more upset about my taste in women than about being injured. Valkyrie cheats on me and Myra tries to kill me. I’m not really sure I deserved either of those things, to be honest.”

“Fletcher, she fooled everyone, not just you.”

“Yeah,” Fletcher said miserably, “but I dated her. I believed her when she said she loved me.” He looked up. “Do you … do you think she really did? On some level? I mean, why would she say she loved me if she didn’t have to? I know she was sent to keep an eye on me and then kill me, but … do you think she
did
fall in love with me, even just a small bit?”

Ghastly put a hand on Fletcher’s shoulder. “Not really.”

“Oh.”

“She stuck a knife in you.”

“Yeah.”

“That’s rarely a good sign.”

“I suppose.”

“But hey, you had some good times, didn’t you?”

Fletcher smiled. “Yes. Yes we did.”

“Before she stabbed you.”

His face fell. “Yeah.”

“Give me your hand,” said Ghastly. Fletcher held out his hand and Ghastly pressed the metal triangle Nye had given him to the back of it. It stuck there.

“This here is a pager of sorts,” Ghastly said.

“What’s a pager?”

“Seriously? What’s a pager? It’s a … it’s a device that receives messages that you carry around on your belt.”

“What, like a phone?”

“This was before mobile phones. A pager was cutting-edge technology back in the … Anyway, when we need you, it’ll glow, give a little beep. A different colour for different people. Providing you still want to help us, of course.”

“I’m in,” said Fletcher. “You didn’t even have to ask.”

“That’s very much appreciated. Fletcher, when you’re back on your feet, you’ll be our troop transport. With you, we actually have an advantage over the Supreme Council. In the blink of an eye you can deliver our people to where they’re needed anywhere around the world, and go in and get them if things go wrong. Because of this, you’re going to be a target. Myra’s already proved that.”

Fletcher tapped his wound, and in his best James Bond impression said, “I got the point.”

“Nice one.”

“Thank you.”

“Roger Moore?”

Fletcher frowned. “Sean Connery.”

“Oh. Still a very good impression.”

“Not if you thought it was Roger Moore.”

Ghastly left him to work on his impressions, and headed deeper into the Sanctuary. He hadn’t even reached the corner when a woman called his name. He turned, watched her approach. He knew her from somewhere. She was a knockout. She was gorgeous. She was …

Oh dear God, she was Scapegrace.

Ghastly’s smile faded. “Yes, Mr Scapegrace, what can I do for you?”

Scapegrace came in close. Ghastly really wished he wouldn’t do that. He focused on looking him in the eyes, in his beautiful green eyes, and tried to remember how annoying this man was.

“Elder Bespoke,” Scapegrace said, “I won’t keep you long. I couldn’t fail to notice that you seem to be shipping out.”

Ghastly nodded, keeping his gaze level. “Yes we are. Is that all?”

“I would never presume to ask what the Sanctuary’s plan is – I have to prove myself to you, I’m aware of this. But you should know that when you are gone, this town will be safe.”

“OK,” said Ghastly.

“The peace will be kept.”

“That’s really nice.”

“Justice will wear a mask.”

“I’m not really sure I understand you any more, but fair enough.”

Scapegrace held out his hand. “Fight the good fight, Ghastly.”

Ghastly shook his hand, and then Scapegrace turned and walked off. Ghastly pulled his eyes away from that view and forced himself to carry on to Ravel’s office. Skulduggery and Saracen were already here, deep in discussion with Ravel and Anton Shudder over their plans. Valkyrie sat in one of the chairs, while Bane and O’Callahan sat on the desk. Gracious was looking particularly down.

Ghastly stood in the doorway, and watched Valkyrie lean forward. “You OK?” she asked.

“No,” Gracious said, somewhat grumpily. “We had plane tickets to Japan for tomorrow and now we can’t go because of all this stupid war stuff. Innocent men are being targeted in Tokyo by a succubus in the form of a beautiful woman. It seduces them and drains their life force.”

“And you want to kill it?”

Gracious looked at her. “
Kill
it?”

Donegan sighed. “Gracious just wants a girlfriend, that’s all. He’s lonely.”

“It’s not easy meeting single women when you hunt monsters for a living,” Gracious said. Then he looked at Valkyrie like he’d just had the best idea ever. “You’re friends with China Sorrows, aren’t you?”

Valkyrie hesitated. “I … suppose …”

“Is she single?”

“Um …”

“Do you think she’d go out with me?”

“Uh …”

“Stop putting Valkyrie in an awkward position,” Ghastly said, finally walking into the room.

“Exactly,” said Donegan. “She wants to be polite and not hurt your feelings, so she’s not going to laugh right now. But inside? Inside she’s laughing, and so are we.”

Gracious glared. “What’s so funny? She may be beautiful, but China Sorrows is still just a person and, like any other person, she gets lonely, and every now and then she’ll need someone to, y’know … hug.”

“And you think she’ll pick you for that job?”

“I have as good a chance as any. See, her problem is that she’s
too
beautiful, and that kind of beauty can be intimidating for lesser men.”

“Lesser men,” said Ghastly, “but not you?”

Gracious shook his head. “She probably hasn’t been asked out in years.”

“Actually, she gets asked out all the time,” said Valkyrie.

“Oh.”

“She gets a lot of marriage proposals.”

Gracious sagged. “Oh.”

“Which isn’t to say that she wouldn’t go out with you,” Valkyrie said quickly.

Gracious’s eyes lit up. “You think she would?”

Valkyrie smiled supportively. “Probably not.”

The look of dismay on Gracious’s face told Ghastly it was time to change the subject. “The trucks are loaded and ready to depart,” he announced. “Half of them are going now, half of them will set off in the morning when we’re leaving.”

“I still don’t quite grasp the logic behind this,” said Donegan. “If anyone should be leaving the country, it should be me and Gracious. If we get caught or killed, no big deal.”

“It’d be a big deal for me,” Gracious mumbled.

“But if any of you guys get captured, then we’re all in trouble.”

“We’ll be more effective out in the field,” Ravel said. “We’re used to this stuff. Fighting wars is what we did.”

“But you’re in charge now. And who’ll be left here in Roarhaven? Madame Mist?”

“That’s a good point,” Valkyrie said. “I mean, really, how smart is it to have two of our Elders outside the shield and fighting, while the one Elder we can’t actually trust stays safe and warm inside it?”

“This is about more than it seems,” Skulduggery said. “The Dead Men still carry a certain amount of weight in the magical world at large. If the sorcerers of the Supreme Council view us merely as a Cradle of Magic making trouble, they’ll do their jobs and see it through to the end and it’ll be business as usual. But if they see the Dead Men back together, the same Dead Men who worked so effectively against Mevolent, the same Dead Men who saved their lives and the lives of their friends all those years ago … they’ll know to fear us. And the very fact that Ravel and Ghastly are part of it will tell them we are confident and powerful and no one will be able to stop us.”

“Right,” said Valkyrie. “So you’re basically hoping that your reputations will make them run away.”

Skulduggery looked at her. “Well, it just sounds silly when you say it out loud.”

“And what do we do while you’re gone?” Donegan asked.

Shudder looked at him. “Your first assignment will be disabling the Midnight Hotel. Aside from Fletcher Renn, the hotel is the only way to get in and out of the country without passing through the shield. The Supreme Council will want to use it to bring in their troops.”

“So we stop them from doing that,” said Donegan. “Gracious and I. The two of us. Against … who? General Mantis?”

“Who’s General Mantis?” Valkyrie asked.

“One of the best tacticians out there,” Skulduggery said. “In the war against Mevolent it was our secret weapon.”

“It?”

“Mantis is a Crenga, the same species as Nye. We never lost a battle when it was in command.”

“That’s not making us feel any better,” Gracious muttered.

“We wouldn’t be sending you if we didn’t think you could do it,” Ravel said. “Or if there was anyone more suited. Or available. Or willing. Or—”

“Thank you,” Donegan said quickly. “You can stop reassuring us now.”

“Don’t worry,” said Ravel, smiling a little, “we’ll find someone to back you up. There’ll be a briefing in the morning, and then we’ll move out.”

“Any word on Dexter?” Saracen asked.

Ghastly shook his head. “Not yet. The most we can hope for is that he keeps his head down and stays out of trouble.”

Saracen frowned. “He’s Dexter Vex. When have you ever known him to stay out of trouble?”

he other Irish prisoners had been taken from the cells hours ago. Vex was the only one left sitting on his bunk, staring at the bars. He hadn’t a clue where they’d been taken. Wherever it was, it was undoubtedly more interesting than here.

Footsteps approached. High heels. Vex sat up straighter as Zafira Kerias came round the corner. An attractive woman who always had a stern look in her eye, she seemed uncharacteristically fragile today.

“Elder Kerias,” said Vex, “to what do I owe this pleasure?”

Zafira looked at him through the bars, and her whole body sagged. “What are we doing?” she mumbled.

“I’m sitting here in chains,” Vex said, “and you’re about to give me the key.”

Zafira’s smile was strained, but it was still a smile. “Not quite, Dexter. But good try, nonetheless. I meant
what are we doing
on a slightly larger scale.”

“Ah,” he said. “You mean this war you’ve started.”

She ignored the jibe. “Did you ever think we’d slip into another one after Mevolent? I thought all our wars were behind us. I thought we could sit back and watch the mortals fumble around, stepping in every now and then to stop them from doing something too stupid … and yet here we are.”

“Humbling, isn’t it?”

“You should hear Bisahalani. All these things he’s been saying in private for years, now he can say them aloud and he’s seizing every opportunity to do so. He’s calling for the heads of your Elders. He’s accusing them of treason, of betraying their own people.”

“He’s mean.”

“You don’t seem to be taking this seriously.”

“I sit here in shackles, Zafira, after witnessing one of your people beat a prisoner to death. I’m taking this as seriously as I should be, believe me. I’m just wondering why you’re here.”

“I’m very sorry for what happened to your friend, but this … this has spiralled out of control. Your friend’s death was an accident, whereas Bernard Sult was murdered.”