Sins of Sarah (21 page)

She was astonished to find he knew the words of the service by heart. He hadn't seemed to her to be a church- going person.

'You forget - Canterbury Cathedral was my school chapel,' he reminded her as they walked back to the cottage afterwards. 'I'd forgotten how nice it is to go to church.'

'I felt a little guilty kneeling at the altar with you,' she confessed.

Nick laughed. 'Adultery being blessed!'

'I certainly hope the vicar didn't know who you were,' Sarah commented.

'Does it bother you very much? My being married?' He sounded worried suddenly.

'Not as much as it should,' Sarah admitted. 'But my mother would have been furious with me and Daddy would have taken you apart!'

'I'd better keep away from your big brother, then,' he smiled. 'In case he feels the same way.'

'I think George would like you nearly as much as I do. At least I hope he would.' Nick suddenly realized that it mattered to her that her brother approved; he knew how much Sarah relied on the only father figure she had left.

'For the moment, my darling, I think it's better that your brother doesn't know about us.'

'Rather like your wife?'

'Especially like my wife!' Nick decided the time had come to tell Sarah his news. 'Look, I've asked Diana to bring Charlotte over to France for the first two weeks we're out there while you have two weeks off. It seemed the safest option. I actually prefer that you two don't meet again.'

Sarah thought of the cool, dark-haired lady she had met briefly. 'I'd prefer not to meet her again too,' she said slowly. 'Though I loved Charlotte.'

'Charlotte thinks you're snaring James away from her.' Nick grinned. 'She'll think he's really fickle when she finds out about Cress.'

'He's certainly not fickle about Cress, that's for sure.'

'I'm glad,' Nick said softly. 'Cress deserves to be happy. She's had a bad time with men, generally.'

'Like you, for instance?'

'How on earth did you find that out? Not from Cress, I'll bet!'

'No, Ronnie - who else?'

'I might have known! Embroidered like crazy as well, if I know Ronnie!' Nick raised his eyes to heaven. 'I've never slept with Cress, Sarah, I can assure you, but I've always been very fond of her. Do you mind?'

'Good gracious no - why should I? Anyway, I suppose I'll be an ex sooner or later, when Diana finds out.'

'If we're careful, not for a long time, I hope.' His face was serious. 'You will get tired of me eventually, Sarah. I'm far too old for you.'

'Not now. Nick. I don't want to think about it!' They had reached the cottage and she threw her arms around him, hugging him tightly to her. 'I don't want to talk about your wife or your age.'

'As long as you know I'm not going to leave her,' Nick said slowly, painfully aware that by stating the fact he could lose Sarah there and then. But Sarah clung round his neck, her face buried in his shoulder.

'I know, I know,' she murmured. 'It doesn't make it any easier, but I'll accept anything to stay with you.' She found it incredibly hard to understand how he could be so loyal to his wife that he wouldn't leave her, and yet still profess to love her at the same time, but it was not a question she dared put to him: She simply had to believe that he could. Her other problem was how to break it to Peter that it was all between them over. He was due back from Queensland that week, and she dreaded it.

'Don't tell him for a while,' Nick suggested when she voiced her fears. 'You have enough excuses to be too busy to see him for a bit.' 'No, that's not kind,' she reasoned. 'I have to tell him, it's only fair.' 'Well, don't tell him it's over because of me,' he said. Tell him that, and the Press will soon know.'

'Peter's not like that.'

'It depends on how much he loves you,' Nick said wisely.

'I'll wait until I'm back in London,' she decided. 'Then I'll have to tell him. Unlike you. Nick Grey, I find one lover quite enough to cope with!'

CHAPTER 11

Are we keeping you up Sarah?' James enquired on the last day of shooting at Hastings. 'You'll never make it through the party at this rate.' She looked and felt shattered. 'What does Nick have that I haven't?'

'Shut up, James,' she snapped. 'I'm tired, that's all!'

'Sorry, sweetheart. Look, I've got something to tell you - or rather Cress has.'

'Don't tell me she's pregnant!' Sarah said, winding him up.

'Not yet!' he laughed. 'But she's moving in with me as soon as we get back from France.' Laughing with delight, Sarah hugged him. 'It's the thing that's happened to me in a long time.'

Nick interrupted them. 'I know we have an easy day but we do have to work at some point,' he said, and hauled them onto the set.

At lunchtime Sarah intrigued Nick by disappearing with Sir John and then coming back giggling with Cress and John like conspirators. John was old enough to know better, he thought, annoyed. Sarah smiled her secret smile at his frown, making him ache for her all over again, even after making love to her most of the night and early that morning - swimming had been forgotten.

Charles arrived back to watch the last few shots of the afternoon, joining in the laughter and inevitable practical jokes that went on, then taking Sarah aside as she finished the last scene. 'Would you do something for me, Sarah?' he asked. She looked nervously at him. She and Nick had heard him leave that morning, holding their breath in case he saw them. But it was something quite different. 'Would you consider visiting a child at the local hospital when you've changed? Apparently it's quite urgent - she's not very well.' He searched her face for reaction. 'Her mother is a friend of mine and Amy has been a fan of yours for a long time.'

'Of course I will, Charles.' She smiled with relief. 'Just make sure Nick doesn't need me any more, and I'll get changed.'

'That's OK, I checked. Thank you, Sarah, I'll pick you up at the hotel in ... half an hour?' The child, it turned out, was dying of leukaemia. She was seven years old, sweet-faced and serene. Fighting her tears, Sarah spent half an hour telling her about the programme, and Peter, before walking round the rest of the ward full of children - some just as sick as Amy, others cheerful and full of chatter. Despite the gratitude of the nursing staff, she was drained by the time they got back to Charles's car.

'We'll stop off for a drink,' Charles suggested, patting her shoulder awkwardly, worried by her stricken face. 'I'm sorry, Sarah, I didn't realize quite how ill she was.'

Sarah was doing her best not to cry. 'I felt so helpless, Charlie. She's so little.'

'You did what you could, and that's the important thing,' he comforted.

'I just wish I could do a little more to help,' she replied sadly.

'You probably did more than any treatment could. Being a famous face can be a problem, Sarah, I know, especially in your situation. But your time with someone like Amy is a gift you can give. It's so important to her, and it probably stops you getting too wrapped up in your own importance.'

'Oh, Charlie, do you think I am?' She was horrified.

'No, not yet.' Charles pulled into the pub yard. 'But you could be if you get too insulated from real life, which is very easy to do in this business, once the work takes over.' Sarah thought about it, and was shocked to realize he was right. It was months since she had had to think for herself. Her life had become ruled by Oscar and George, and now Nick. Apart from a few swift shopping trips, she had hardly mixed with people outside the crew since the middle of May.

Charles brought her brandy out to the garden. The late afternoon sun was still hot, and she relaxed, lifting her face to it. 'I feel as if I'm playing hookey.' She smiled. 'Aren't you drinking, Charles?'

'I don't really,' he admitted, playing with the glass of tonic water. 'I'm driving anyway, but I had a heart attack years ago, and was told I should stop drinking so I did. I don't really miss it, I must admit, though Nick and I used to really drink ourselves stupid at college.'

'I can't imagine not drinking at all,' Sarah confessed.

'You'd be surprised how easy it is to give up if your life depends on it,' he commented drily.

'Does it still?'

'No, not now. I've had the all-clear for years - I'm even allowed to fly the helicopter - but I'm still careful.'

'I guess you would be if you'd had a heart attack,' she said, and smiled. 'What caused it?' Charles laughed. 'I think you could call it a very unsuitable marriage.'

'To Natasha?' she queried, suddenly realizing that here was her chance.

'Yes,' he said, surprised. 'Have you seen her portrait in the library?' She nodded. 'She was so beautiful,' he added sadly, 'and so very sick.'

Sarah took the plunge. She was so curious. 'What was wrong with her?'

'She was a drug addict, Sarah, long before I married her, and I didn't know till I had. I think Nick did, but I certainly didn't.'

'What did Nick have to do with her, then?' She wasn't sure she wanted to know, but it was the one thing Nick wouldn't tell her.

'Nick was in love with her,' Charles said bitterly. All the way through Oxford they were crazy about each other, but, unfortunately for Nick, Tasha changed her mind when I inherited my title and the estate at a time when Nick had very little money. And I married her before she changed her mind.' 'So she married you for your money? That doesn't seem very fair,' she commented.

'It wasn't,' he admitted. 'And we both suffered for it. Nick hated me for it for ages, and I had a wife I couldn't cope with. He married Diana a few months afterwards. I'm not sure he can cope with her either. She's so much brighter than he is.'

'That, if you don't mind me saying so, sounds quite bitchy, Charles.'

'No, it's quite true. Diana is a genius in her field, and her IQ is in the stratosphere somewhere,' Charles insisted. 'Nick has an Oxford degree, certainly, but he was lucky to scrape a second, he spent so much time there directing plays or with Tasha. But Diana's in a different category altogether. She has a superb brain and is very involved in her job, even if she is only part-time.'

'But she doesn't need to work, does she?' Sarah protested. 'Nick is enormously wealthy.'

'True - far more so than me - but she's far too bright to stay at home and pander to Nick. I don't particularly like Diana, but I do sympathize with her on that score. She'd go crazy. It was just a shame that Nick got himself tangled up with her, frankly. We all warned him against it, but he took no notice. He was simply on the rebound from Tasha.'

Suddenly Sarah felt quite sad for Nick, but she felt pleased at Charles's confidences. It gave her some reason for Nick's devotion to her - at least she was very different from Diana.

Charles hated the conversation turning to Nick, particularly when he'd ended up defending him, best friend or not. 'She has a lot to put up with, though, where Nick is concerned, Sarah, don't ever forget that. And she does still care for him.'

'I know, Charles, don't worry. Nick has made that perfectly clear,' Sarah snapped at him, swallowing the brandy that she didn't really want.

'I'm sorry. I don't want to pick on Nick. I know how you feel about him,' Charles said placatingly, surprised at Nick's honesty with her.

'I can't help it. I do love him, even if you don't approve.'

'No, I don't. I think Nick is behaving very badly over you. But then I'm old-fashioned enough to believe you should be able to offer a lady something before you approach her.'

'Nick offered me something I couldn't refuse at the end of the day,' Sarah said firmly. 'And I wanted it. I'm not a child, Charles, I'm sorry.' '

A child is the last thing I would accuse you of being.' Charles sighed, smiling at her. 'Look, what are you doing on your two weeks off?' Sarah shrugged, and sensed his discomfort. '

Not a lot. Some Story-Times for Paddy, a couple of game shows and an audition for Nick for a perfume commercial. Why?'

'How would you like to come to New York for a couple of days, week after next?' She thought for a few seconds, working out her timetable. 'It's OK,' he added, 'I have a suite at the Plaza, so you can have a room of your own. I'm not that keen on upsetting Nick. I just need an escort for a very grand party. And you can do some TV interviews I don't doubt.'

'It sounds nice,' she confessed. 'If Nick doesn't mind, and I can find a dress for this very grand party.'

'No problem. Just go and order one from your friend Catherine and send the bill to my office,' he said. 'I'd love to take you, Sarah.'

'I'll pay for my own dress, Charles Hastings,' she told him proudly.

'No. If I want to pay for it, it's my privilege, and you'll need one for the premiere anyway.' Charles was firm. 'Do I take it you'll come?' He knew she wanted to ask Nick first. 'Just remember, Sarah, you are free to do whatever you want to do. It's Nick who's trapped.'

'OK, Charles, I'll come. I may need to get away from London for a few days! But only as a friend?' Her thoughts had suddenly turned to Peter. If he turned difficult - and Sarah was aware that he might - his temper could be quite frightening sometimes. New York was about as far away from him as she could get.