Sinful Possession (12 page)

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Authors: Samantha Holt

Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #Genre Fiction, #Historical, #Romance, #Victorian, #Historical Fiction, #British, #Regency, #Historical Romance

BOOK: Sinful Possession
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Ash considered her and her deep
breaths. He’d make a quick break for it and be back before she was even aware
he’d been gone. Easing his arm out from underneath her, he moved her as though
she were a china doll, ensuring her position remained the same and propping up
the pillow to make up for the loss of his body.

He winced when the bed
squeaked, but she slept on. Taking only a brief moment to admire her sleeping
form and note the fading of the mark on her thigh, he made his way to the
bathroom then down to the kitchens to make some coffee. He chewed on a stale
biscuit. It would have to do for now. Then he made his way back up the creaking
stairs to the bedroom, coffee in hand.

Lila jolted up in bed when
he arrived. Her eyes were wide, her hair ruffled and ridiculously charming. He
could imagine waking up next to her and seeing her just so.

“I did not know where you
were.”

Distress rang clear in her
voice. It was so unlike Lila to be fearful of anything that he almost dropped
his coffee. Ash came to her side and set down the cup on the table next to the
bed.

“Forgive me, I didn’t think
you’d awaken. I’m here now.” He eased next to her, back propped against the
headboard and settled her into his arms. “Would you like some coffee?”

“Yes, please.”

He passed over the cup and
they shared the drink in silence, taking alternate sips. He felt the warm
liquid stir through his body and remove the stress-induced fatigue.

“Are you still in pain?” he
asked when he set the empty cup on the side.

She nodded. “It isn’t as bad
though. More tolerable.”

“Thank the Lord it wasn’t
worse.”

“It was a jellyfish, was it
not? I’ve heard of people being stung by them.”

“Yes. Harris was stung by
one here too.” He cursed low and soft. “I shouldn’t have let you swim.”

“One can’t avoid things
simply because of fear, Ash. If I let myself, I think I could likely stay at
home and hide away forever because of all the dangers out there. But I won’t.”

“You’re a courageous woman,
Lila. I envy that.”

“Why? You came to my rescue
twice. You even faced down a murderer.”

“And yet I have not the
courage to admit to my family that I suffer such an affliction.”

Lila looked up at him and
cupped his cheek. “I’m sure you will find that courage. You are a brave,
wonderful man.” She sucked in a breath as she shifted.

“What’s wrong?”

“My fault,” she said, voice
strained. “The sheet skimmed the sting.”

He stroked her face then
held her tight in an attempt to distract her from the pain. Her words rang in
his mind. A wonderful man? Had anyone ever called him such a thing? Lazy, yes. Constantly
late. Of course. Unreliable. For certain. But wonderful? Never.

Her body softened into his
again. She lifted her head and searched his gaze. He couldn’t know what she was
looking for but he hoped he gave it to her.

“It hurts.”

The words raked down his
insides leaving tiny scars. He’d never forget when she looked at him like that
and uttered those words. How he longed to protect her from ever coming to harm
again. He saw her gaze drop to his lips. They were as close as two people could
get without taking their clothes off. The air became thick around them. He felt
as though smoke had filled the room and his lungs were struggling for air. She
studied his mouth again.

“Kiss me, Ash.”

“I cannot.”

“Kiss me,” she begged. “Make
me forget the pain.”

He wanted to laugh. Yes,
when they kissed it seemed he forgot everything but surely that could not be
the same for her? He felt so undeserving of her attention or her time. Lila was
everything he was not. Vivacious, vibrant, and courageous.

That didn’t matter to the rolling
desire that simmered beneath the surface though. That was there—for both of
them. But for her it was dangerous.

Ash had meant to deny her
again. He really had. But he’d allowed himself to stare at her lips for too
long then remember how perfect they’d felt beneath his mouth before. His mind
shut down, and all thoughts of ruination and not being good enough and how he
should be focusing on keeping her safe fled. Once he touched his mouth to hers
and she released a relieved gasp, only thoughts of softness and need entered
his mind.

He cupped her face, pushing
his hand through her hair until his fingers were entwined with the soft,
slightly tangled waves. He kept her there. Ready for another kiss. This time,
they shared a look so intense it made his chest tighten before he lowered his
mouth to hers. Patience vanished. In its place a wild desperation took hold. He
gripped her head tightly, tilting her so that she was open to his mouth. Her
tongue touched his and a savage groan escaped him.

“Ash,” she murmured between
kisses.

His name had never sounded
so sweet.

Her fingers dug into his
shoulders asking for more. He gave it. Kissing her until she was breathless—until
they were both breathless. Tension riddled his body, brought on by desire
waiting to be unleashed. He moved down to her neck and inhaled her natural
scent. Even though the saltiness of the sea masked it, he could smell it, taste
it. It seemed to him he’d been hungering for her for a lifetime, that she
filled a gap he didn’t know existed.

Pressing kisses down her
neck, he found a spot behind her ear that had her gasping and shuddering. He
latched his teeth around her earlobe and gave a little tug. She held onto him
tighter.

How easily he could slip
farther down and work a breast free. When he peppered kisses across her collar
bone, he spied her nipples pebbled against the cotton of her chemise. How easy
it would be.

However, he continued his
journey to the other side of her neck, testing there to see if he could make
her shudder again. He succeeded, and she gasped. Her hands ran trails over his
back, urging him on. He felt where her fingers had been, the thin fabric of his
shirt creating a useless barrier between her touch and his skin. He bit down
lightly on the rise of one breast, and she arched toward him.

Ash broke away, drew in a
ragged breath. “Lila—”

Stop
, he
was going to say. Or
we cannot
. Anything to remind himself why they were
here together.

But the look in her eyes
stole the words. A tiny smile slipped across her lips. “You want to, do you
not?”

“Want to what?” He knew what
but couldn’t bring himself to say it.

“Make love to me.”

The words hung in the air
and rattled inside his brain. She’d voiced it and now the words were there,
bouncing between them, urging him on. He almost wished he hadn’t asked.

He shook his head. “Lila, I
cannot...”

“You love me, yes?”

His jaw fell open. “How do
you know?”

“It’s in the way you look at
me. No one has ever looked at me that way.” A flush appeared on her cheeks. “I
like it.”

Ash supposed he ought to be embarrassed
that he’d been so obvious, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. It was as
though a weight had lifted from his shoulders. “There’s so many reasons why we
shouldn’t...”

“I’m ruined now.”

He flinched at the words.

“You know that, Ash. In the
eyes of everyone, I will be ruined. No amount of work on your brothers’ behalf
can cover for the fact that we ran away together.”

“To escape a murderer.”

“It will not matter, and you
know it.”

“I will do all I can to
protect you.”

“I know.” That smile was
back again, warming his heart. “If I am already ruined, what is the harm?”

“You don’t know what you ask
of me.” His voice sounded as if he’d swallowed mouthfuls of sand.

“I ask for your time, your
comfort, your pleasure. I ask for you to act on your love for me.”

She hadn’t said anything of
her love. He did not really expect her to. Desire was one thing, love was
another. Could he live with himself if he had her lust but not her love? He
just wasn’t sure.

“If we do this...you know
what this will mean for us.”

Lila nodded slowly.

“Say it,” he demanded. “Say
it.”

“We will have to marry.”

Air rushed from his lungs.
If he did this, she’d be his forever. Maybe with time, he’d win her love. But
it meant he could do as he was certain fate had intended him to.

Protect her and love her
forever.

He meant to say something
more but became lost in her eyes. Instead, he pushed two hands under her head
and brought her up to him. He kissed her hard. There would be no doubt that
they would be tied together forever after this. She needed to know that.

Chapter Twelve

Lila flung her arms around his shoulders. She couldn’t
explain it but she needed this man more than ever. Who else would ever look at
her in such a way? Certainly not Lord Curly Wurly or the Earl of Pomade. The
idea of balls and flirtations held little appeal now. The coiling desire deep
in her belly told her all she needed to know, and the love in his eyes and his
kisses sealed the knowledge. No one could ever care for her like this man—this
caring, courageous, heroic man.

She would happily marry him,
she decided. Why would she want to go back to some foppish lord after this?

And her family couldn’t
really complain. After all, Ash was the brother of a marquess—no matter how
scandalous his family was. For once in her life, she wanted to be free to
follow her own dreams and desires. It appeared they all involved Ash.

He held her close, like a
man drowning in need of a life jacket. The deep instinctual knowledge he would
always look after her warmed her chest. She accepted his kisses and gave in
return, meeting his tongue with her own. Her skin heated, her body moved instinctively
into his. Lila’s breast pressed against his chest, and her nipples hardened,
making her want to rub against him to relieve the ache.

His hand slipped between
them and cupped a breast in answer to her need. She gasped with relief.

“More,” she demanded.

He froze then, as if
surprised by her demand. However, Ash soon moved again, plucking her nipple and
bringing about the most exquisite sensations. He kissed her firmly on the mouth
then moved back to drop his head to her breasts. When he took a nipple into his
mouth through the cotton of her chemise, she almost forgot the sting in her
leg. The time and brandy had already dulled it, but the heat of his mouth
around her aching nipples turned it into a mild annoyance. If just his mouth
could do that...

He kept her supported with
hands on her back while he moved over to her other breast. She peered down to
observe the erotic sight of his head against her chest. Unable to resist, she
pushed her fingers through his hair, and he groaned against her. A tiny frisson
traversed her, and she sucked in a breath.

Ash eased her down onto the
bed and lifted the hem of her chemise. He glanced up at her, asking permission,
and she nodded. When he tugged it up and over her head, she shivered—the chill
of the air and a sudden awareness of the gravity of what she was doing rushed
over her.

“Lila?”

The nerves fled. With one
word, one look, they were gone. She saw everything she needed to see in his
eyes. This was not a ruination—this was the start of her new life with Ash.

“I need you, Ash.”

A smile curved his lips, and
he worked his finger around the waistband of her drawers. Lila lifted her hips.
He moved carefully, ensuring the cotton didn’t touch the welt on her thigh.

“I want to make this as
pleasurable as possible for you.”

She knew a little about sex.
One didn’t reach the age of one and twenty without knowing something. And her
mother had been adamant she would be no ignorant young virgin when the time
came. She doubted, however, her mother would have expected her to lose it in
such a manner. Kidnapped and unmarried.

Well, she never had done
things properly. She only knew that this was right. This was how it was meant
to be.

However, a little tension
worked into her belly. It could hurt. Particularly if the rest of Ash was an indicator
to the size of his...manhood. Heat rushed into her face. Here she was, entirely
bare to him, and the thought of seeing him naked had her flushing like an
innocent debutante.

Debutante, she might be, but
she was no fool. Men and women could enjoy great pleasure together, and she was
certain they could too—once her virginity was taken.

“If you wish to stop,” he
said, stroking a hand up and down her breasts and belly, “just say. I would
never wish to harm you.”

“I know.”

She closed her eyes and
savoured the touch as he explored her body. His hands were warm,
ever-so-slightly rough. More pleasurable than her own. He touched her belly
button, her hips, her inner thighs, her calves.

“Lila.” His voice sounded
urgent, gruff. She opened her eyes to catch him staring at her in awe. “You are
beautiful.” He sounded as though he might choke. “So beautiful. What did I do
to deserve this?”

She reached out to him, and
he came into her embrace. They rested their foreheads together for a moment
while she cupped his face. “You’re a good man, Ash Cynfell. You deserve much.”

He kissed her swiftly and
moved away to tug off his shirt. Rolling muscles and crisp hair was revealed.
Her fingers flexed with the need to run her hands over his body. Then he stood
to remove his trousers and drawers. She bit her lip, unable to keep her gaze
from the sight of him. Large and masculine, he should have terrified her, but
she couldn’t prevent herself from sitting up and taking him in her hand.

A gasp escaped her at the
feel of him, and he sucked in a strangled groan. So hot and hard, yet soft. A
sharp pang of desire speared through her. There would be no going back now, and
she didn’t wish to. All she could think on was their future together.

“Take me, Ash.” She moved
her hand over him again, exploring the shape of him. “Make me yours.”

He snatched her wrist. “If
you keep touching me, I will not be able to do much.”

She uncurled her hand and
allowed him to push her back. He kissed her forehead and stroked her cheek. “I
will take you. I will make you mine. But I have to prepare you first.”

Lila blinked at him.
Whatever did he mean? Her confusion fled when he moved a hand down her body and
eased apart her legs. Weighted breaths flowed between them. He used his fingers
to spread her sex. More heat filled her face. She imagined she must be the
colour of strawberries. But the faint flutter of air across her intimate parts
and the knowledge he was looking his fill made her body pulse. She ached for
his touch, yearned for it.

“So beautiful,” he murmured
again before touching her.

Lila cried out. It was the
gentlest of touches on her tender flesh, but she was far more sensitive than she
thought possible. Never had pleasuring herself felt like this. He continued to
stroke her face and gaze into her eyes as he sketched a path across her folds, discovering
the shape of her. The throb in her thigh was almost forgotten now. She was lost
to those intense eyes, to the love reflected in them. Would her eyes show the
same? She hardly knew how to voice her feelings for Ash.

In truth, it wasn’t until he
brought her here that she’d come to the sharp realisation this was about more
than her being a woman in peril. One look from him and the truth had come to
her. He loved her, and she had no desire to deny that love. That had to mean...

He touched her nub. She
gripped his shoulders. Closed her eyes.

“That’s my girl,” he urged
softly, circling her sensitive spot with agonising gentleness.

His girl
.
The words made her heart sing.

“Ash, I need you.”

“All in good time, darling.
We mustn’t rush. Not on your first time.”

She nodded and swallowed
hard while he continued his ministrations. Lila recognised the building
pleasure yet it felt nothing like when she touched herself. It was slower,
deeper. Whenever she’d done it, she’d rushed, fearing being caught or feeling
somewhat scandalous. Ash made her feel as though nothing was more natural than
two people bringing pleasure to one another.

As her legs started to
tremble, he moved. Ash kissed her mouth, her neck, down to her chest. He
pressed his mouth briefly to the swells of her breasts then to her belly. She
sucked in a breath in anticipation. Surely he wasn’t going to...?

His tongue probed her, hot
and wet. She flung her arms wide and gripped the bed sheets. When she looked
down, she found him gazing up at her while he tasted her flesh. A rush of fresh
need washed through her. Lila tipped her head back and closed her eyes. He
tasted and teased, increasing the ecstasy. She drew in sharp breaths. So close.
So, so close.

Ash pressed a finger inside
her, and she cried out her satisfaction. He continued to circle her nub with
his tongue, bestowing the occasional teasing nip on her flesh. He moved in and
out, bringing about a sizzling satisfaction through her veins. When he added a
second finger, she feared she’d explode then and there.

He didn’t let her—not yet.
Ash moved his fingers in and out, getting her used to the sensation. Behind her
closed eyes, colours began to spark as his clever tongue worked her into a
frenzy. The sweet sensations collided, and she bucked up her hips. He grasped
her rear in both hands and held her body close to his while he continued to
draw out her orgasm. She gasped, her legs shook. When she opened her eyes, she
found him looking at her. It was so scandalous, so erotic, then her body gave
another pulse and shudder, and she collapsed.

He released a grin that was
distinctly smug. Swiping a hand across his mouth, he moved up beside her. “You
are beautiful when you come.”

He smelled musky—her smell—but
it didn’t concern her when he kissed her. There was something oddly exciting
about it, especially because she knew what was coming.

Gaze never leaving hers, he
took her hips, careful not to touch the sting, and moved her on top of him.
Lila couldn’t help but spread her hands over his chest and trace the carved
muscles there.

“Do you exercise a lot?”

“Boxing.”

She nodded. That explained
why he’d been so good at fighting off the attacker. “There are a lot of things
we don’t know about each other.”

“Yes.”

“That does not worry you?”

She continued to trace a
path down the ripples of his stomach, admiring the way they contracted under
her touch. When her fingers dropped low, his arousal moved, and she found
herself fascinated with it. She skimmed the head, feeling the moisture there
and marvelling at the silky sensation. Ash dragged in a sharp breath, the sound
hissing through the quiet room.

He grabbed her hand to still
it. Her gaze snapped to his. “I know everything I need to know,” he told her. “The
smaller details will come later.”

She eyed him, acutely aware
of his hard thighs beneath her own, coarse and masculine. Of his strength that
could be used for so many things but was only ever used to protect. Of the
softness in his gaze. Of his love for her. Yes, she knew all she needed to know
too.

“Make love to me.”

He took her hips in his
hands. “I’d do anything for you, Lila.” He helped her get into position and
released one hip to guide his manhood to her sex. “Go slowly. There’s no rush.”

Her body was so ready from
her previous orgasm that he slid in easily to begin with. She felt her eyes go
wide at the sensation of being spread and the knowledge they were joining in
the most primitive and intimate way possible. Ash held her hips to prevent her
from going farther, but she wriggled, keen to take the rest of him inside her.

“Slowly,” he warned.

A burning sensation struck
her. She dug her nails into his arms and concentrated on breathing through her
nostrils. She continued on, somehow knowing the reward would be worth it. After
this, Ash would marry her, she had no doubt about it. He was not the kind of man
to abandon a woman, and more than anything, she wanted a life with him. Let her
have this serious, sensitive, courageous man over all the foppish, preening
fools she’d met and would likely meet. No one would ever measure up to him.

She stopped moving. They
were joined. The pain eased but wasn’t gone so she waited a little longer. His
gaze tracked over her body, falling on her breasts and where they were joined.
She imagined the picture she made and felt a tiny pulse of need low in her
belly. She shifted slightly. There was still tenderness but the awareness of
being so blissfully full threaded through her.

“Slowly, Lila,” he reminded
her.

He helped her understand
what to do with his hands on her hips. From the gritting of his teeth and the
way the veins in his neck stood out, she had no doubt he was using all his
self-control not to take her as he wished. It astonished her that he considered
himself so weak for these migraines yet was the strongest man in character and
body she’d ever met. One day, she hoped she’d help him understand that too.

Palms to his chest, she
moved up. He eased her back down, then she moved again. Together, they found a rhythm
that brought about a warm, budding sensation deep inside her. This was
different, very unlike what she’d felt before. She anticipated—and almost
feared in some way—that it would be life-changing. More so than losing her
innocence. Once she was marked with that pleasure, she’d be thoroughly lost to
him, body and soul.

Lila stared down at him
while she rocked against him. His intense eyes followed her movements. He would
look after her body and her soul. She had no need to fear.

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