Simply Voracious (7 page)

“Are you all right?”

Paul rolled over on to his back and shielded his eyes with his forearm.

Con touched his knee. “Paul? Did I hurt you?”

“No, you . . .” Paul bit his lip. “You were perfect.”

“Then what is wrong?”

Paul gestured at his disordered clothing. “Let me get dressed and then we can talk.”

Something inside Con went still. “You don’t want to get undressed and fuck me properly?”

“I want to fuck you more than I want to breathe, but . . .”

Con slowly set himself to rights and rebuttoned his breeches. “But what?”

Paul gestured at the pair of chairs in front of the fire. “Can we sit down?”

Con did as he was asked, and Paul joined him. Paul sat forward, his hands clasped lightly between his knees, and stared at his boots.

“This is one of the most difficult things I have ever had to say to anyone.”

Con strove for a neutral expression and sat back in his chair. He didn’t say anything, and waited for Paul to look up at him. The anguish in the other man’s face made his gut tighten.

“What’s wrong?”

“I can’t see you anymore.”

Con allowed the words to settle over him like a drift of snow and then slowly stood up. “Then you’ll understand if I wish to be excused.”

Paul grabbed his hand and rose too. “Please, don’t go. Will you at least allow me to explain?”

“I’m not sure there is anything else to say, is there? You have obviously found me not to your liking. There is no crime in that. I’ll find someone else.”

Paul winced, and Con was suddenly glad. It wasn’t like him to be petty, but after just having the best and roughest sex of his life, he was more shaken than perhaps he would like to admit.

“It’s not like that. Please sit down and hear me out.”

Con reluctantly sat and Paul did as well.

“I wish to God this hadn’t happened now, but . . .” He visibly inhaled. “I’m getting married.”

“Married?”
Con asked.

“I know, it’s ridiculous, isn’t it?” Paul managed a smile that looked more like a grimace. “But if I have to marry, I’d at least like to try and be faithful to my wife.”

“I see,” Con said.

Paul laughed. “No, you don’t, and I’m not sure that I do either. All I can tell you is that it is a matter of honor and urgency. Otherwise, I would not be doing it.” He hesitated. “Especially now, when I have you.”

“So you haven’t found another man.”

Paul looked into Con’s eyes. “How could I?”

Despite Paul’s words, the pain in the region of Con’s heart redoubled. “If I might be so bold, do you think you will be satisfied married to a woman?”

Paul sighed. “I’ll have to be, won’t I?”

“But she won’t understand your needs.”

“I’m not going to lie to her. I’ve already decided that if she marries me, it will be with the full knowledge of who and what I am.”

“Then you are very brave.” Con hesitated. “I didn’t tell my wife about my particular sexual tastes, and it caused all sorts of problems in our marriage.” Not the kind that Paul was probably envisioning, but bad enough.

“You’re married?” Paul asked.

“I was married at eighteen, when I still lived in Russia and was serving in the Tsar’s army.” He took a steadying breath. “Apparently my wife refused to leave Moscow when the French army were advancing. When I finally reached the charred remnants of our home, there was no sign of her or anything living.”

“I’m sorry, Constantine. I had no idea.”

“It was a long time ago.” Con smiled. “I have all but forgotten about it.” Another lie, but one he’d repeated so often that he almost believed it.

“But you haven’t married again.”

“No.”

Paul reached for his hand. “I wish things were different. I wish I could have you both.”

“That would be my ideal situation as well.” Con brought Paul’s hand to his lips and kissed it.

“Or even better, I wish she was in love with you, and we could find a way to all be together.”

Con found himself smiling at Paul. “And now you are being ridiculous. You cannot arrange the love lives of your friends simply to suit yourself.”

“I suppose not.” Paul sighed. “I just hate having to lose you.”

Con stroked his cheek. “But we must say good-bye. I can scarcely interfere with an honorable man’s duty.”

“I don’t feel very honorable.” Paul swallowed hard. “After everything I’ve said, would you stay with me tonight? I have to go and talk to Lucky’s father tomorrow, and I’ll be married by special license within the month.”

“Of course I’ll stay, and I’ll also wish you much happiness.”

Paul met his gaze. “She deserves to be happy. I at least know that.”

Con leaned forward and slid his hand around Paul’s neck. “So do you. May I help you out of your clothes?”

6

“H
is Grace requires your presence in the library, my lady,” Parsons murmured.

Lucinda looked up from her unhappy perusal of a book of sermons at the hovering butler. “Thank you, Parsons, I’ll go down at once.”

Her heart started to thump, and she nervously smoothed her hands over the creased skirts of her pink muslin morning dress. Any unexpected summons from her father was a cause for alarm these days. Would Jeremy follow through with his threat to speak to her father before she came up with a solution to her dilemma? In truth, she was no closer to an answer than she had been three days ago.

She walked down the wide spiral staircase and noticed a gentleman’s hat and gloves on the marble-inlay hall table. Her father obviously had a visitor, as it was too early for social calls to her mother. She paused for a moment and stared at the imposing double doors of her father’s study. If Jeremy was in there, this was her perfect opportunity to accept his marriage proposal before he told her father everything. She swallowed down a sensation of nausea. As her father was fond of reminding her, she was a Haymore, and Haymores did their duty regardless of their personal emotions.

She raised her chin and went toward the doors, tapping lightly on the wood before letting herself inside. Her smile disappeared as the two men rose to greet her and she realized it wasn’t Jeremy sitting with her father after all.

“Ah, Lucinda,” her father said. “I’m glad you could join us.” There was a peculiar look on his face she couldn’t quite decipher. “Paul has something he wishes to ask you.”

“Paul does?” Lucky turned to Paul and found he shared her father’s strained expression. She also noticed that he was dressed very smartly in civilian clothes that not only fit him but also looked brand-new. She took the chair in front of her father’s desk and finally remembered to smile. “Whatever can it be?”

Her father came out from behind his desk and clapped Paul on the shoulder. “I’ve just realized that I have an urgent message for my wife. I’ll be back in a moment.”

Lucky watched him leave and then looked at Paul. “What on earth is going on? My father looks quite odd. What did you say to him?”

He faced her and took an obvious breath. “I asked for permission to marry you.”

“You did what?” Lucky was only aware that her voice was quite shrill because Paul winced.

“I offered for your hand, and he told me to ask you, so here I am.”

“Haven’t we already discussed this?”

He came down on one knee in front of her chair and took both her hands in his.

“You told me you had some harebrained scheme to marry the very man who ruined you. I think you can do better than that. I think you should marry me.”

She stared down into his familiar brown eyes and temptation swirled around her.

“Why?”

“Because you have always loved me?”

She felt herself blushing. “Which is meaningless if you do not love me back.”

He sighed. “I love you, surely you know that?” He squeezed her fingers. “I want to do this for you.”

“For me or for my father?”

“That’s a fair question,” Paul conceded, “but I’ll already inherit everything whether I’m married to you or not. I’d much rather you got to share it with me.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

“Then say yes. If you won’t tell me this blaggard’s name and let me kill him, at least let me keep you safe in the only other way I can.”

Lucky stood up and pushed past him. “But it seems so unfair.”

Paul sat in her vacated chair. “In what way?”

She presented him with her back. “If I marry you, I gain everything I’ve ever wanted.”

“And what’s wrong with that?” There was a hint of loving amusement in his voice that made her want to cry.

“I don’t deserve it. I’ve ruined myself.”

She flinched as he came up behind her and grasped her shoulders. “You have not ruined yourself. You were taken advantage of.”

“And now I can’t bear it when a man touches me. What kind of wife would I be to you?”

He gave an odd laugh and spun her around to look at him. “The kind I want? Listen, if you agree to this betrothal, it will keep your seducer at bay for a few more days while we discuss how we mean to go on, and whether we both truly wish to go through with the marriage.”

She shivered. “Or it will draw him out in the open and he’ll ruin me anyway.”

“I almost hope he tries it.” The cool determination in Paul’s voice made Lucky stare at him anew. “I could finish him off for good, and then you wouldn’t have to marry me after all.” His cold smile died. “We’ve always been the best of friends, and I want us to continue to be honest with each other. Will you at least try and see if we will suit?”

“And what if we don’t?”

He bent to kiss her forehead. “I’d never force you to do anything. You know that, don’t you? We’re
friends
.”

Lucky took a deep breath and felt her resolve weakening. “I’m still not sure if this is the right thing to do.”

He sighed. “Neither am I, but at least we can explore the possibilities. Shall we go and find your parents?”

She clutched at his coat lapels. “Right now?”

“Indeed.” He looked down at her. “I know you’d prefer to keep the news in the family until we make up our minds, but if we wish to discourage your seducer, we’ll need to make it public. I’m sorry, Lucky.”

Whatever way she turned there were obstacles in her path, so surely all she could do was pick the best way forward? It seemed she was too weak to stand completely alone. At least with Paul she could be honest.

“If I want to break the engagement, you’ll let me?”

“I’ve already told you I will. I give you my word.”

He waited quietly in front of her, his gaze sympathetic but full of resolution.

She took a deep breath and reached for his hand. “Then let’s go and find my parents.”

Constantine saw the sealed note on the silver platter when he walked into his lodgings and picked up the heavy parchment. He recognized Paul’s signet ring in the wax and carefully opened the letter. The message was short and to the point.

Lady Lucinda Haymore has accepted my hand in marriage.

Yours, Paul St. Clare.

Con studied the words for a long moment and then crumpled the parchment in his hand. If he remembered correctly, Lady Lucinda was the new Duke of Ashmolton’s only child. How convenient for the Haymore family that the male heir to the title had offered to marry their daughter. Despite knowing that this would probably be the outcome, and understanding Paul’s decision even more clearly now, Con turned toward the fire, threw the note into the center of the red heat, and poured himself a large brandy.

“Good evening, sir, may I serve your dinner?”

Con looked up to see Gregor hovering by the door and drew himself up.

“Yes indeed, and then pack my bags. I’m almost certainly leaving for the countryside tomorrow.”

“Very good, sir. Do you wish me to accompany you?”

“Not this time, Gregor.” He couldn’t bear the thought of his longtime batman worrying and fussing over him. “I’m sure Major Thomas Wesley has someone who can take care of my needs at his hunting lodge.”

“If you are certain, sir.”

“I am. Now please bring me my dinner. I’m famished.”

It was definitely time to accept a long-standing invitation from Thomas Wesley to his country house. He’d sally forth to his club tonight and see if Wesley was there and willing to put up with him for a few weeks. At least in the countryside he could legally murder a few things without anyone realizing how fraught his temper was, or fearing for their own lives.

He sat down by the fire and stared into its glowing depths. Although they’d been aware of each other for years, it wasn’t as if he and Paul had been lovers for long. Con wished he’d spoken up sooner, taken Paul away from Gabriel when it had become clear to everyone that Gabriel no longer wanted Paul. They might have had years of happiness together. He had no intention of marrying again, so a relationship with Paul would have suited him quite nicely, until Paul had decided to wed . . .

Not that he could fault Paul. Honor was an important element of every man’s life and much undervalued in Con’s book. Honor prevented him from marrying again, despite the interest of the
ton
’s females. Con sat back as Gregor arranged a table in front of him and placed a covered tray on it.

“Enjoy your dinner, sir. Will you require anything else this evening, sir?”

“Just a bottle of the burgundy. I’ll be going out. Don’t wait up for me.”

“As you wish, sir.” Gregor paused. “Should I be expecting any visitors tonight?”

“No, Gregor. Not tonight.”

Gregor brought the wine and then withdrew, leaving Con staring down at his suddenly unappetizing plate of food. Paul had taken to dropping in at all times of the day to snatch a moment with Con. His lodgings were going to seem unbearably empty now. Con’s gut twisted, and he pushed the tray of food away. He needed to get out of London until Paul was married and unavailable.

“Mama, I know that you are excited about the prospect of my marrying Paul, but could you please listen to me?” Lucinda said loudly.