Silver Heart (19 page)

The raw need to be close to him stemmed from both the comfort brought on by our past and the sexual tension that rocked our present. It was only tinted by the knowledge that he couldn’t be a part of my future. Eventually, there would be no more Whistler. Just cold reality.

I spent the next hour with the remote in hand, trying not to think about the fact that in a few short days I would be heading back to Denver, forced to part with Sawyer once again. I flicked through channels in an effort to avoid every single tear-jerker chick-flick polluting the television. Since when was the Monday night TV line-up chock-full of unspoken love and devastating breakups? I finally settled on a police procedural. In that moment, dead bodies seemed a lot easier to handle than broken hearts.

A little before ten o’clock, just as the sexy, hot-tempered detective and his clever, forensic scientist partner were about to nail the bad guy, the doorbell rang. I slipped a short kimono robe over my pajamas and took the stairs two at a time, nearly twisting my ankle when my foot greeted the landing.

A cold burst of air washed over me when I opened the front door and ushered Sawyer inside. He slipped into the foyer, breathing warmth into his hands. His nose and cheeks were tinted red, complementing the green of his eyes.

“It’s freezing out there,” he huffed.

“That’s because you never dress for the weather,” I chastised, plucking at the thin material of his long-sleeve t-shirt. “Where’s your jacket?”

“You tell me,” he said with a grin. “You’ve been keeping it hostage ever since that night at the bar.”

I glanced over at the hook where it hung. “Oh, right. Let that be a lesson for running off,” I teased.

He raised his hands in defense, dangling a white plastic bag from his wrist. “From now on, I promise to stay and fight every single guy who proposes to you.”

“You better. I’m so worth it.” I meant it as a joke, but Sawyer suddenly stiffened. His jaw hardened and his smile vanished.

“You are.” The force of his words sent a chill down my spine. “I hope you know that, Silver.”

“What’s in there?” I gestured to the bag, trying to dissolve the tension that had suddenly crept into the air around us. Sawyer’s attention dropped from my face and landed on the bag.

Softening slightly, he said, “Your surprise.” He led the way to the kitchen, shooting me a sexy smirk over his shoulder. He placed the bag on the counter and began removing its contents one by one.

“Sushi,” he said as he set down a see-through plastic container.

My mouth actually began to salivate at the sight in front of me. “Spicy salmon hand rolls. My favorite.”

He dug around the bag, searching for the next item. “Cherries.”

“
Cherries?!
” I gasped. “What the hell?”

“These babies were kind of hard to hunt down. That’s why I had to give myself some extra time before coming over,” he explained. “I ended up locating an organic produce place half an hour from here, but it was closing for the night.”

“Did you end up breaking in or something?” I laughed.

“I called the owner and managed to convince him to keep the store open until I got there,” Sawyer explained. “He met me in an alley behind the shop with the bag ready to go. I swear, getting cherries in Whistler is like trying to score drugs or something.”

“I can imagine. Finding cherries that look this good in the middle of January is generally next to impossible.” Being an addict, I knew. I reached for the bag, but he pulled it back.

“Hang on.” He held up a finger. “There’s more.”

“More?”

“Lime popsicles.”

“All of my favorite foods in the world,” I sighed. “All in one place.”

He glanced down at my knee. “When I saw a picture of that bruise, I thought you might be in need of a first aid kit.”

“Sushi, cherries, lime popsicles—I can die happy now.”

I wrapped my arms around his neck and stepped up on my tiptoes to pull him into a kiss. He returned my gesture, but there was a hint of sorrow attached to it.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, recoiling from the darkness in his eyes.

“I was just remembering all those first aid kits you used to make me,” he replied gruffly.

My hands fell back to my sides and my heels hit the ground with a thud as memories flooded me. Over the years I’d made countless care packages for Sawyer. Sometimes I’d put them together because he’d have a particularly bad injury from training, but most of the time I made them to help ease the hurt his father had inflicted.

When we were little, the emergency packages would be filled with his favorite candy and tiny toys. As we grew older, they became all about snowboarding magazines and favorite foods. But no matter what, the main ingredient was always ice to soothe the countless bruises and cuts on his face and body.

It was my way of taking care of him in his time of need, but I never felt like it had made much difference. In spite of my desperate wish to shield him from the pain, I had no power to prevent it from happening. I could only be there in the aftermath. And it hadn’t been enough.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, pulling me back to him. “I didn’t mean to go there. I hadn’t in a long time. I don’t know what came over me.”

“After everything you’ve been through, you have every right to go there,” I told him as I sank down onto a bar stool. “How could you not?”

He shrugged. “I try not to. I keep as much of it as I can locked away. I’m always moving forward and looking ahead. I guess that’s why I love bright, white snow so much. It keeps the darkness away. And that’s why I ended up getting all these tattoos. They help hide the scars and remind me of things I love. Like mountains. And silver…
medals
.”

“I wish I could just crawl into your head and erase away the past,” I told him, trying to smile through the pain in my heart.

My words seemed to shock him. He placed his fingers under my chin and gently lifted my head. Peering into my eyes, he said, “Don’t ever say that again. I wouldn’t allow anyone to erase my past—no matter how bad some parts of it had been.” He pulled me even closer and rested his head against mine. “Because that would mean getting rid of you.”

We stayed frozen in place for a while, our foreheads touching lightly. Sawyer closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, breathing me in. Overwhelmed by his proximity and his icy scent, my head began to spin.

“But if we didn’t know each other you wouldn’t have to worry about having the worst snowboarding student in all of Whistler,” I finally said, breaking the tension.

His head rocked against mine as he chuckled. “Shut up, Silver. You were great today.” Then he pulled away and reached for the sushi container. “And you’ll be even better once we get some food in you.”

“Food?” I blurted out, unable to hide my disappointment. It washed over me like a bucket of ice cold water. I had been hoping for a different type of comfort. One which was less food-related and more Sawyer-based.
My body was still tingling with the memory of what his skilled hands had done to me the night before. As the images flooded my mind, my breathing quickened and my nipples hardened, mounting under the fabric of the kimono.

I crossed my arms over my chest and took a deep breath. “Let’s take the sushi to the living room and find a good thriller to watch,” I suggested in an attempt to calm the excitement coursing through me. Guns and explosions would keep my thoughts in check. And if my body was going to tingle, it may as well be from the thrill of a chase scene. Not Sawyer’s panty-dropping gaze. “I saw a couple of new releases in the DVD collection. I imagine action flicks are still your favorite, right?”

“They are.” The right side of his lip quirked up in a slow, crooked half-grin. “Though I’m surprised you’re not championing
The Notebook
.”

“I only made you watch that with me because Maddie was away the summer it came out,” I said defensively.

He chuckled. “The first time. But what about all those other times I had to sit through it?”

“Cut me some slack. I was a thirteen-year-old girl.” In
like
with a guy I wasn’t even supposed to be hanging out with. Subconsciously, I may have related to the star-crossed lovers portrayed in the film.

“And I was a fifteen-year-old guy,” he retorted. “You should’ve known that blood and guts were much more important for my development than kisses and love.”

“Well it’s a good thing that I’m going to find a movie with enough blood and guts to make up for all those times I made you watch a chick flick,” I shot back.

He shook his head in feigned displeasure. “It’s too late now.”

“Oh? Why is that?”

“Because now...” His hands slid to the side of my stool and dragged me closer to him so that his mouth was an inch away from mine. “…I happen to enjoy kissing.”

My eyes dropped to his lips. “Is that so? You like kissing girls?”

“I like kissing
a girl
.”

“Lucky girl.”

“Very lucky girl,” he replied as his eyes darkened. “Especially since I want to do a lot more than just kiss her.” His tongue snaked over his bottom lip in a predatory manner, causing my own lips to part in response.

Though he wasn’t actually touching me, I could feel the heat emanating from his body. It drew me in like a moth to a flame. I wanted to dive into his fire, surrender myself to whatever pleasures he was promising.

But then he doused that blaze by saying, “I’ll wash the cherries, you get the sushi, and let’s get started on that movie.”

What? No, no, no!
I wanted to get back to the kissing talk.

“I’m not that hungry.” I ran my fingers through my hair in an attempt to regain my composure.

“Why do you look so disappointed?”

“It’s just that…”
Why was I feeling let down? And so freaking turned on? Fuck
.

“Were you expecting me to say something else instead?” His fingers drifted to the side of my neck, as his thumb grazed over my bottom lip, tugging at the soft, plump flesh.

“Something along the lines of: ‘I’ll rip your clothes off, you kiss me with that pretty little mouth, and let’s fuck right here on top of this counter.’?” His grip tightened and he drew my mouth closer to his. “Is that what you want, Silver?”

Heat ripped through my body, causing a lustful ache to spread between my thighs. Excitement rocked the depths of my stomach, tearing into my chest, slipping past my lips in form of a small, pleading moan.

“Is that a yes?” His breath teased my lips with each word.

Afraid that I would be unable to form a coherent sentence, I simply nodded. It was an eager, hungry nod, and my heart hammered against my ribcage in anticipation of his next move.

And that’s when he pulled away. He detached his hand from my face and took a step back, replacing the heat of his body with a chilly coldness.

“I’m first going to make you sit through two long hours of an action flick before even thinking about touching you,” he said, smirking devilishly. “As payback for
The Notebook.
”

Just like that, he reached for one of the popsicles on the table, peeled off the wrapper, and popped it into his mouth. Crossing to the other side of the counter, he placed the rest of the treats in the freezer. “Lead the way to the living room,” he ordered. “Can’t wait to see what’s playing.”

Was he really going to make me suffer such a painful punishment for something my thirteen-year-old self did? Damn it!

After his wickedly tempting promise, there was no way that I could focus on a movie. Even an Oscar-winner couldn’t keep my attention right now.

“I came here with the intent of taking care of you,” he said as we entered the living room. “Not because I was planning to have my way with you.” While I appreciated the noble gesture, I couldn’t help but think that Sawyer’s main goal for coming over was to mercilessly torture me.

“Turn off the lights,” I said as I flicked on the TV. “I’m going to find a movie.”

Hopefully a very short one.

I reached down to leaf through the DVD cases stacked on the bottom shelf of the TV console, squinting through the dimness to make out the titles. As I perused the movie choices, I heard Sawyer shuffle toward the couch. He paused mid-stride, hissing sharply.

“There should be a law against bending over like that while wearing short shorts,” he said from behind me. “At least when it comes to you. I’m about to abandon all my intentions of watching that movie.”

“Is that so?” I asked, looking over my shoulder.

Maybe I should bend even lower...

“Your legs…
fuck
.” His lips formed a tight white line as his eyes practically melted off my clothes. It suddenly dawned on me that I was the one with the power now.

“What about my legs?” In a deliberate attempt at teasing him, I slowly straightened up and slid my short robe over my shoulders, letting it flutter to the floor.

When I turned to face Sawyer, a low, feral growl rumbled deep within his chest. His jaw tightened as his eyes skated down my body, drinking me in. “Are you purposefully trying to drive me insane?”

Empowered by his response, I smiled innocently. “I’m simply offering you an alternative to an action flick.”

The popsicle in his hand had long been forgotten and was quickly beginning to melt. Keeping his eyes glued to mine, he brought his hand to his lips, sucking off sticky liquid from the back of his wrist.

Oh, God. Looking away would have been the smart thing to do. But I suddenly wanted to trade places with that lime juice.

“You know, you always remind me of this,” he said.

“I remind you of a lime popsicle?” I laughed, startled by his words.

He nodded. “You remind me of summer. And warmth.” Diminishing the space between us, he placed his free hand on my hip. “As much as I love winter and snow, you’ve always been my sunshine. Even during the coldest days, you had a way of breaking through my ice. Not to mention you’re deliciously fruity.
Everywhere
.”

His fingers tangled through my curls, and he buried his face in my hair. “Your scent.” His mouth slid to the base of my neck, making its way up my skin in a painfully teasing manner. “Your taste.” His tongue slid along my jaw, licking my lips. “Your kiss.”