Silver (14 page)

“Stacia,” he gruffly let loose, his voice pleading with her in that one word.

She bit her lip, aching to step into him, but through the haze, she knew that it would just lead to problems. This wasn’t love. It was lust. It was wanting her body satisfied in a way only Pace knew. And it would lead down a road she wasn’t willing to travel.

“I can’t,” she murmured before fleeing to her room.

The door closed behind her, and she leaned her body back against it, trying to regain control of her breathing. She shuddered out a hard breath and decided she was going to need a cold shower or a good night with her vibrator to try to get over the feel of his hands on her.

THE FIRST DAY OF CLASSES
were a welcome relief to what Stacia had been dealing with at home the past couple of weeks. Avoiding Pace entirely seemed to be about the only effective way to keep her sanity at this point. When they were together, they were drawn to each other, like magnets. And then, every time they were close, he couldn’t seem to stop touching her. A caress of her hair, a touch of her waist, and a passing graze as she walked into the other room. It was so comfortable, so normal, that Stacia hadn’t even realized it was happening right away.

Now, she just tried to be in the apartment as little as possible, and she was
not
looking forward to the party he was throwing this weekend.

She sank into a seat in the middle of the classroom for her last journalism class for the day. Each of her other two classes today had ended after a half hour of going over the syllabus and discussing the class objectives. Stacia thought it would be too good to be true to make it three for three.

A girl took the seat next to her and removed a book, which was already flagged with Post-its, and a notepad full of notes. Stacia’s eyes rounded.
Did we have reading already?

“Hey,” she said, leaning over toward the girl. “You were in my intro to journalism class this morning, right?”

The girl peeked over at her. She had a distinctly nervous appearance about her, but she was pretty in a bookworm sort of way. She had dark brown hair in a high ponytail with little or possibly no makeup on. She was in khakis that Stacia would never touch and a pretty cute top that might be knock-off Chanel…if the girl even knew it.

“Um…I was in the class,” she confirmed.

“Great!” Stacia said, flipping her hair off her shoulder. “I’m Stacia. Are you a broadcast major?”

“Um…I’m Whitney, and yeah, I was just accepted. I heard the wait list was horrendous.”

“Wait list?” Stacia asked in confusion.

“Um…well, yeah. It’s a tough major.”

“Right.” Stacia chewed on her lip. If it was that difficult to get in, then how had she made it with her shitty grades? “Well, it’s great to meet you, Whitney. I’m in broadcast, too, and I’m hoping to get into sports broadcast next semester. Are you looking to be in front of a camera?”

Whitney shook her head. “No! Behind a camera and, ideally, writing for the newsroom.”

Stacia nodded. “Interesting. I see that you already have the book tagged. Did we have required reading?”

“Oh, no, but I worked for Professor Jenkins last semester, and I know how tough he is. I wanted to be on top of my work.”

“I see.” Stacia frowned.
Shit.
She could not have a tough teacher for her first semester. “Well, if you ever want to study together or anything, just let me know.”

“Oh, um…I always study alone.”

Great. Of course you do.
“No biggie,” Stacia said, slumping back in her chair.

“But I’m free if you ever want to get lunch,” Whitney offered with the first genuine, not nerve-induced, smile.

Stacia smiled back. “I’d like that.”

She retrieved her notepad and flexed her fingers, preparing for a full class after Whitney’s comments. But, already, she was feeling a little better about this. She had awesome friends, but it was kind of nice to meet someone without any expectations of who she was.

An hour later, Stacia walked out of Professor Jenkins’s intro to telecommunications class with a buzz of excitement. Whitney was at her side, and they kept going on and on about how amazing he was. Lively, friendly, and enthusiastic. He might be a tough grader, but he really seemed interested in the topic, which made some of the more boring aspects entertaining.

“I knew you’d love him!” Whitney said with a giant smile on her face. Her anxiety had simply melted away at the end of class, and she seemed like a totally different person.

“For real. It was worth kicking my own ass this summer to finish off the requirements to apply.”

Whitney shot her a confused look. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, it was killer, waiting until the week before school to tell us whether or not we got in, right?”

“Um…no,” Whitney said as they entered the nearest lunch spot on campus. “Applications were due in April. I heard back the first week in May…unless you were wait-listed.”

Stacia stopped in her tracks and stared at her. “But I didn’t apply until the end of summer term,” she explained.

“That’s usually for spring acceptances.”

“Huh,” she said, considering the situation. She ordered a salad and a water and then headed to a window table with Whitney. “Maybe it’s because I’m a senior, and I’ll have to stay a fifth year to finish.”

She hadn’t yet told her friends or Pace or anyone about that catch yet, but here she was, telling a complete stranger.

“That’s probably it. Or you’re just brilliant,” Whitney said with a giggle.

Stacia snorted. “Not exactly. I think I scraped by into the major. I’m not sure why they selected me.”

“You probably killed the essay,” Whitney encouraged, digging into her turkey sandwich. “I’ve heard they take people just off of that sometimes.”

“Well, whatever works. I’m here now. Though I’m a little worried about keeping up in all these classes,” she admitted.

“You’ll be fine!” Whitney encouraged. “I’m sorry I snapped at you earlier. I’ve had the worst luck with people trying to use me or cheat off me. We can totally study together sometime. Or there’s always the tutor center. My friend Simon works there. He’d be a great help. I could ask him to work with you if you want.”

“That would be incredible,” Stacia said with a sigh of relief.

“Anytime.”

“And, you know, my roommate is throwing a party at our place this weekend, if you want to come,” Stacia offered.

“A…party?” Whitney asked, as if she had never heard of one before.

“Yeah. I mean…only if you want to. Should be a bunch of hot guys there…unless your
friend
Simon isn’t so much of a friend.”

“Oh my God,” Whitney said. “Simon is just a friend. Friend zone 101. He has never seen me like that.”

Stacia snorted again. “I highly doubt that.”

“You have no idea. Just look at you,” Whitney said, gesturing to Stacia. “No one has ever friend-zoned you.”

Stacia shrugged and pushed her salad around. “I didn’t always have it easy,” she said, seeing a bit of herself in Whitney. “High school was a nightmare.”

“It is for everyone!”

Stacia laughed and shrugged. “All right, you’re right. So, come to my party anyway! We could invite Simon.”

“Um…no. He’d never come.”

“We’ll work on it,” Stacia encouraged.

Helping someone else’s love life would be much easier than navigating her own at the moment.

Stacia ended up having four of her five classes with Whitney. It seemed a lot of the same people were in every class, and though she hadn’t put herself out there to meet everyone, Whitney knew a bunch already and had introduced her. In a way, it was so strange for Stacia to have this. All she’d ever had were cheer friends. And, sure, she didn’t really know any of these people yet, but she had two more years to get to know people.

“So, you’re still coming tonight, right?” Stacia asked Whitney on their way out of their last class Friday afternoon.

“Yes, I’m all set.”

“Great. Do you need a ride home or anything?” Stacia asked.

She knew that Whitney took the bus off-campus every afternoon. So far, Whitney had declined Stacia’s offer every time.

“No, I’m fine. I’ll just hop on the bus.”

“Seriously, it’s right around the corner.”

“Okay, but just this once. I don’t mind the bus though.”

Words Stacia knew she would never hear from her friends.

They walked the rest of the way to the parking lot, and when they rounded the corner, Stacia found Bryna waiting by her Mercedes SUV.

“Hey, Bri!” Stacia said. “This is a surprise.”

“E is stuck at practice, and I rode here with him. I thought maybe we could go shopping or something if you didn’t have other plans.” Bryna’s eyes traveled to Whitney.

Stacia knew Bryna was a jealous friend and hoped to make it through this next bit of awkwardness.

“Sure. I’m just dropping Whitney off at home. She’s in all my classes this semester.”

Whitney stuck her hand out. “Whitney Parrish. Nice to meet you.”

“Bryna.” She briefly shook Whitney’s hand and gave Stacia a pointed look.

“Wait…are you Bryna Turner? Like, the one dating the assistant coach?” Whitney asked.

Bryna’s eyebrows shot up. “Engaged actually.”

Everyone knew Bryna. Stacia had come to learn that was a fact of life.

“Congratulations. It’s nice to meet you,” Whitney said.

“And how do you know that Eric and I are together?”

“Doesn’t the whole school? You’re kind of famous.”

“I see.” She turned back to Stacia. “Can we go?”

“Yes!” Stacia said quickly. “Let’s.”

The drive to Whitney’s apartment was perfectly painful. Stacia waved at Whitney as she left and promised to see her tonight before driving away with Bryna.

“Well, she’s…interesting, S,” Bryna said.

Stacia shrugged. “She’s nice.”

“Was she wearing khakis?”

“Don’t be so judgmental.”

“Me?” Bryna’s eyes widened. “You’re usually the judgy-judgy one.”

“I am not!”

“Okay, fine. Are you going to tell me what the fuck has been going on with you lately?” Bryna demanded. “You break up with Marshall with no explanation. You start taking journalism classes, which I think is great but so not you. You moved in with Pace after refusing to let us live with you. Now, you’re replacing us?”

Stacia took a deep breath and then pulled over into the next parking lot. She parked and then turned in her seat to look at Bryna. “I am
not
replacing you or Trihn or Maya,” she said with confidence she never felt around Bryna. “I can have other friends.”

“None of this seems like you.”

“Why?” Stacia snapped. “Because I’m not following you around like a brain-dead sheep?” She slapped her hand over her mouth in shock at her own words.

The only time she had ever stood up to Bryna had been about Pace. When their friendship had almost fallen apart, she had held her ground, and they’d gotten over it. But, after that, Stacia had been careful not to let anything else come between them again.

“Do you think that’s what I want from you?” Bryna asked, bristling.

“Sometimes,” Stacia whispered in a tiny little voice.

“I want you to be happy. I don’t want you to feel like you’re one of my minions. I had those in high school, S, and that isn’t friendship. That’s blind devotion. I consider you to be one of my very best friends. I’d do anything to make you happy, but I can’t help if you won’t talk to me and tell me what’s wrong. And I definitely can’t do it if you think that I just want you to fall in line.”

Stacia sagged, realizing how harsh she had come off. “I know, I know. I am just…going through a midlife crisis or something.”

Bryna laughed at that. “A midlife crisis?”

“Yeah. I’m just trying to find me, and I’m not sure who I am.”

“You’re my drop-dead gorgeous best friend. You’ll figure it out.”

“I guess,” Stacia said.

“So…what really happened with Marshall?”

Stacia bit her lip and glanced at her manicure. “I didn’t love him.”

“I never got the impression that mattered to you.”

“Me either,” Stacia said with a laugh. “But then I was sitting at the draft—with Jude fucking Rose, at that”—Bryna cringed—“and I realized I was miserable. I didn’t love Marshall. I hardly liked him. And I wanted something of my own. So, I started the journalism classes to try to become a sports sideline reporter. If I can’t have football with a guy or cheer, I’ll make it my career another way.”