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“I don’t want or need your apology either. And us being friends for so long only makes what you did
worse
.”

Stacia shook her head and turned away from her. This wasn’t normally her. She didn’t stand up for herself or bash people back, like Bryna did. Breaking up with Marshall and everything that had followed had changed her, and she wasn’t entirely sure yet if it was for the better. All she knew was that the thought of forgiving Madison seemed impossible. And she didn’t know why Madison couldn’t see that.

“I’ll never trust you again. So, what’s the point?”

Madison’s mouth opened and closed, and it seemed she had no answer to that.

“Come on, Derek. Let’s go home.”

This time, Derek jumped to his feet and picked up everything that belonged to them. He nodded at Woods and dashed after Stacia as she traipsed across the sand.

Madison sobbed as she followed them the entire way to the car.

“Go talk to her,” Derek urged.

“I have nothing to say to her.”

“Well, you had a lot to say to her a few minutes ago. Now, she’s crying. She was your best friend. Give her a few minutes.”

Stacia glared at her brother and then walked the few feet to where Madison was standing. Her face was in her hands. Tears streaked her cheeks when she looked up at Stacia.

“I’m so sorry,” Madison whispered.

“You said that.”

“About that night—”

“I really don’t want to talk about that night,” Stacia said, clenching her jaw. “It’s over. It happened. Neither of us can change it.”

“I didn’t…I don’t…I…I…” Madison stammered.

Stacia shrugged. “This isn’t helping anything.”

“Bryna forgave you for dating Pace,” Madison tried to reason. “You two are still close. We can be like that again.”

“Bryna forgave me because Pace is her stepbrother. They weren’t together, which is just totally disgusting to even consider. She realized she really had no claim to tell us not to date. They weren’t dating or sleeping together or in love.”

“You and Pace were in love?” she whispered in surprise.

Stacia shook her head, trying to get that dizzying thought out of her mind. “Not what I meant. I said,
or
.”

Madison gave her a look that said they’d been friends for too long for that sidestep to work on her, but Stacia ignored her.

“You broke girl code. You don’t hook up with your friend’s ex,
especially
when they’re still sleeping together.”

“I didn’t know,” Madison insisted. “I thought you were with Marshall.”

“That doesn’t make it better,” Stacia hissed. “Nothing you say is making this better.”

“I know. I’m so sorry. I just miss you.”

“How would you feel if I slept with Woods?” Stacia demanded. “Would you feel betrayed? Hurt? Would you ever want to talk to me again?”

Madison’s lip quivered, and she shook her head.

“Exactly. So, just…leave me alone. Maybe getting kicked off the team is a blessing in disguise,” she said with a shake of her head.

“S…”

Stacia shook her head and walked away. She couldn’t deal with any more of that. She’d talked to her, like Derek had requested, and now, she wanted to get out of there. The conversation had been bad enough the first time right after she’d found out about Pace and Madison.

She could still remember Madison sobbing the next morning as she’d told Stacia what had happened. She’d come over to Stacia’s apartment, as if she had thought that, by telling her right away, things could be salvaged. As if it didn’t label her as the
real
cheer slut. Stacia hadn’t heard any of it and sent her packing.

That same day, it had been announced that Marshall was the lead quarterback, and it had taken no convincing at all for Stacia to start dating Marshall and give up on Pace forever.

Stacia slumped into the passenger seat of Derek’s Range Rover. Her thoughts were whirling about the confrontation, and by the time they made it home, she had a headache, and she still had to pack to return to Las Vegas.

“Jesus Christ, what the hell happened back there?” Derek asked as soon as they entered their house.

“You know perfectly well what happened back there,” Stacia told him. She trudged straight through the kitchen, past the living room, and up to her bedroom. She desperately needed a shower and hoped it would help the headache.

“Sure, I know that she slept with Pace, but I didn’t know it was that bad. I’ve never seen you so upset before,” Derek said, following her.

“How would you feel?” Stacia asked.

“I don’t know. I don’t have a girlfriend,” Derek said sheepishly. His cheeks turned an unhealthy pink, and he looked away.

“How are you the quarterback for a Division I school without a girlfriend anyway? Are you a player?”

“Don’t change the subject,” he said, his cheeks bright red now.

“Or is it that you like someone, and she won’t give you the time of day?” Stacia pressed. “Is that it? You can tell me. I tell you all of my personal business. What’s she like? Blonde, brunette, redhead? I don’t even know your type.”

“I don’t have a type. And, anyway, we were talking about you.”

“We were, but now, we’re talking about you. Who’s the girl?”

“No one,” he said a little harshly.

Stacia giggled. “When do I get to meet her?”

“Never, because there isn’t any girl!”

“You’re awfully defensive for there not to be a girl. There must be a girl. Is she at school? Do I know her?” she prattled on. “What’s her name?”

“Jordan,” he said finally.

“Cute! So, when can I meet her?”

Derek blushed furiously and looked at his feet. He closed the door behind him and then finally met her gaze. “You can meet
him
later this summer. He’s in Honduras on a mission trip right now.”

Stacia’s mouth dropped. “What?”

“I’m gay,” he said quietly. “I’m…I’m gay.” His voice was stronger the second time. “I’ve wanted to tell you forever, Stacy. I really have.”

“How long have you known?”

Derek shrugged. “Forever. But I never acted on it until college.”

Stacia threw her arms around her brother and pulled him close. “I’m sorry.”

“What?” he asked crossly. “What for? This is who I am! I can’t change.”

“Shh,” she said, taking a step back. “What I meant, if you’d let me finish, is that I’m sorry you didn’t think you could tell me before. That you didn’t think I would be okay with you or that you didn’t think you could trust me. That you were afraid I might think of you any differently.”

Derek shuddered out a breath and then smiled. “Thanks, Stacy.”

“Okay, but seriously, Jordan? Is he hot? When does he get back from Honduras? Oh!” she cried. “Does Dad know?”

“Are you insane? No, of course I haven’t told Dad. He’s progressive for a football coach, but I’m still the starting quarterback of
his
team. There’s no way I can tell him before I graduate.”

Stacia sighed. “I wish we lived in a world where you didn’t have to hide who you are.”

“Yeah, well, keep dreaming.”

“As long as we’re telling secrets, I don’t have a place to live next year. I’m trying to find a place, but I don’t want Dad to know. He won’t be able to come check on me during football season anyway, so I don’t want to worry him.”

“Okay,” Derek said with an appraising look, like he expected more to follow. “Where are you going to live?”

Stacia shrugged. “Still working that out.”

Derek nodded and crossed his arms. “You’re really okay…with everything?”

“If everything is
you
, then of course. You’re my brother. I love you. No matter who you choose to date. Who you fuck doesn’t affect me in the slightest.”

Derek rolled his eyes.

“Just like it doesn’t affect you who I fuck.”

“Ugh, bad mental image,” Derek groaned.

“Sorry about that.”

“You know…this isn’t how I planned to come out,” Derek told her, running a hand back through his hair.

“Well, I think you did all right,” Stacia said with a smile. “You’re going to have to bring Jordan to LV State before school starts though, so I can meet him.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Derek said as Stacia walked to the bathroom. “Hey, S?”

“Yeah?”

“You effectively dodged the conversation, but are you going to be okay about Madison?”

Stacia placed her hand on the doorframe and sighed. “I really don’t know.”

“Do you still like Pace? Is that why you’re holding on?”

Her mind shot to Pace. His hulking form with the dark blond hair and those piercing eyes. The way he always seemed to know exactly what she was thinking. The way he was in bed. Fuck, he was amazing. The way it was so easy to be around him and forget the rest of the world.

But bad always came with the good. She couldn’t deny that he’d wrecked her life on multiple occasions, and she’d gone back for seconds, like the kid eating chocolate cake in
Matilda
.

The truth was…the cons outweighed the pros most days. And, unless that changed, she couldn’t really even say she
liked
Pace. Not as a person. Then again…she hadn’t liked herself much either. So, something needed to change.

“No,” she finally said, “I don’t like him.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I just thought I loved him at the time,” she whispered before disappearing into the bathroom for her much-needed shower.

JOURNALISM CLASSES WERE
a hell of a lot harder than Stacia had anticipated.

She’d spent all summer working her ass off, trying to get As in her two introductory classes. And she was pretty sure it was a futile endeavor. She had never been an all-A student in her life, and she doubted it would just start happening now. But it didn’t stop her from trying.

While her friends were off gallivanting around Europe or opening a designer-clothing boutique in New York City before following her rock-star boyfriend around on tour, Stacia had moved into a shitty apartment and was stuck in the library every night. She didn’t go out to Posse. She avoided the training facilities for the football team. She hardly even went home to her hellish one-bedroom apartment in the slums, except to shower, change clothes, and then return to the library.

On top of that, she’d been working on her admission essay to get into her major, and they were due in a week, on the day of her last final.

All of that studying had had one positive side effect; she hadn’t seen Pace Larson once.

And she wanted to keep it that way.

Sliding her essay away from her, she stretched and pulled up Snapchat to live vicariously through her best friends’ lives. She had just finished watching a video of Bryna and Eric at the top of the Eiffel Tower when a text message from Derek flashed on the screen.

Jordan just got back into town. I have the next two days off. You still want to meet him?

Stacia’s reply was instantaneous.

Yes!!!

Be there in a few hours then.

Stacia jumped up and twirled around with excitement. Then, realization rocked through her. This was her last weekend before her finals, and her journalism essay was due. She needed every minute to prepare. Anxiety spiked through her so fiercely that she had a sudden flashback to high school when the cheer captain, Paris Waters, had convinced the rest of the squad to leave Stacia behind at an away game, and she’d been too humiliated to call her dad to get home.

She pushed that particular horrid memory out of her mind and forced herself to relax. She could do it all. Bryna and Trihn did it all and made it look effortless. She would just have to double down next week. Her essay was pretty much done. She could do this.

And, a few hours later, when Derek and Jordan arrived at her front door step, Stacia had completely transformed. Any trace of anxiety was gone. She had finally unboxed the rest of her belongings from when she had moved in six weeks earlier, and she had donned a pretty spectacular cerulean dress to wear out tonight.

A tentative knock came from the door, and she threw it open.

“Derek!”

“Hey,” Derek said, looking worried. He glanced backward.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Where the hell are you living?”

“Oh, don’t worry about it. It’s fine,” she lied.

He shook his head. “It looks like you’re going to get shot while walking out your front door.”

“Seriously, it’s no big deal. Where is this boyfriend?” she asked, teetering from one foot to the other on her high heels that still didn’t bring her up to her brother’s shoulders.

“He’s just grabbing his bag.”

At that, Jordan strode up to Stacia’s apartment. He appeared every bit the opposite of Stacia’s brother—average height with a slim build, styled dark hair, and close-cut clothes. Even his bag was a trendy duffel rather than Derek’s backpack, likely filled with rumpled clothes. She hadn’t seen her brother in much else in her entire life.

“Hi!” Stacia cried.

“Hey, Stacia! I’ve heard so much about you. I’m Jordan.” He held his hand out, and she shook it. At the last second, he pulled her in for a hug. “Sorry, I’m kind of a hugger.”

“I love it. I’ve heard a lot about you, too. So excited to finally meet you.”

“Me, too,” Jordan said, beaming.