Silent Scars (Surviving #4) (4 page)

Get it together, you pussy.

Will glanced behind him and rolled his eyes. I wasn’t even doing my job and taking inventory of the place. I was too busy freaking out. There were doors and small staircases leading off into different parts of this maze. It was going to be a nightmare to secure this mansion.

That’s when I heard the loud angry tones of Green Day’s “American Idiot.” I grinned because it appeared Aloura wasn’t a fan of having us invade her life.

“Gentlemen, I may not require your services. It appears I will just strangle my daughter myself,” Graham uttered sarcastically as we headed towards the loud music. When we reached the open doorway, he strode through, leaving Will and I to follow. My douche of a brother paused, causing me to walk into his back. I peered around the doorway and froze. There was no other way to describe it –
her
– other than absolute perfection. This room had a completely different feel to it than the rest of the house. For one, the walls were bare. Nothing but cream paint. One wall was made entirely of leaded windows, which cast striped shadows on the wooden floor. There weren’t any chandeliers in here, just simple spotlights. There was a tall bookcase on another wall and a grand piano but nothing more.

My eyes fixed on my new client. She danced around the room, her body moving with such fluidity that she almost floated. The music died immediately. Her attention fixed on her father, who had stopped the pulsing sounds. She slapped her hands down over her hips and breathed up at the ceiling. Her shoulders lifted and fell with each breath she pulled in. She glared at her father’s back again as he came towards us, and then she caught sight of Will and I standing at the door gawping at her like two morons. I straightened and smoothed my hands over my head. A habit I developed after I was discharged from the hospital. I hate the constant reminder marring my skin that I fucked up. That people died because of me.

“Sweetheart,” Graham gritted out through his teeth. “These are the gentlemen I was telling you about.”

“The ones with tight arses and buns you want to bite?”

I spluttered a laugh as her father turned crimson. The silver in his hair glistened against his skin. Will glanced at me, trying to hide his smirk.

“That’s what you said this morning, isn’t it?” she asked, batting her eyelashes at him. She headed over to a black piano in the corner of the room and picked something up from the top. When she held them up to her face, she was putting glasses on. She turned and blinked a few times in our direction, and her cheeks turned a really beautiful shade of pink. She ran her hands over her black hair, which was pulled back in a messy knot type thing. Then she trailed them down her body, tugging at the hem of her t-shirt. It was fascinating watching her assessing us.

“I should have punished you more as a child.” He glared at her, but there was no mistaking the small curl of his lips or the undeniable love shining in his eyes.

“So this is my horrible little brat, Aloura.” He laughed when she screeched at him. She turned and headed back to her music. She switched “American Idiot” back on and glared at her father. I clamped my teeth down on my bottom lip to stop from laughing. She was acting like a brat, but an adorably pissed off one. For some reason I had the impression this was completely out of character for her. It could have been the slight tremble in her hands, or the soft blush rising up her neck, or even the surreptitious way she tugged at her clothing as if she wanted to hide from us. But one thing for certain, she wasn’t going to take any shit from Will and I.

The music system was actually pretty cool. She had a laptop streaming songs through the surround sound. I walked over to it, measuring the intense glare she cast my way, but as my size engulfed her, she lost some of her bravado and stepped back. I swallowed down the sick feeling when I saw a small amount of fear flash in her eyes, before averting her gaze to her bare feet. Fixing my attention on the laptop, I pressed play and turned as Pink’s “Stupid Girls” blared through the system. I smiled brightly. Will closed his eyes and tilted his head back as if sending up a silent prayer. Movement to my left caught my attention. Graham doubled over laughing raucously.

Slowly I turned my head in the direction of Aloura. She had her mouth open, staring at me.

Job done, princess. I’m no one’s whipping boy – not anymore.

Her cheeks burned brightly, and her dainty shoulders slumped. She reached out her hand and silenced the room with the press of one button.

“I apologise. It was rude of me. My dad believes I need protection. I just...I don’t deal well with people being in my space.” The soft lilt and slight tremble in her voice was my undoing. She knotted her hands before her and refused to look me in the eye.

“I’m not here to be in your space. I can be invisible. I require no entertaining. I’m here to protect you, nothing else.”

Her head lifted and her wide eyes stared straight at me, and for a moment I was immobile. Frozen in space and time as her deep brown eyes penetrated me. Big doe eyes, they were so dark it was hard to decipher her pupil and iris. She had full red lips and a cute button nose. Created to bring a man to his knees. She lifted her hand and pushed her glasses up, scrunching her nose slightly.

“I trust you understand the boundaries of professionalism. My daughter is a beautiful woman.”

I snapped my attention to Graham, realising I was staring like some creeper. His words flowed through the air, hitting me dead centre. Message received loud and fucking clear, asshole.

“I want your word.”

“Dad, stop,” Aloura objected, her cheeks matching the colour of her lips.

But Graham didn’t back down, and part of me had to respect him for that. I could see the guy loved his daughter and would do anything to protect her, but my momentary lapse of admiring her features had pushed a button he wasn’t entirely happy with.

“I will be staying in close proximity to your daughter at all times. If required I will sleep in the same room; it depends if her safety requires it. If you don’t trust me to keep my hands to myself, I'm the wrong man for the job.”

“Ryan,” Will said, his single word warning. I didn’t flinch.

“I am here to do a job. I will be paid to keep her safe. I am not getting
paid
to fuck her.”

A female gasp of shocked horror sounded on one side, and on the other was my brother’s grumble of annoyance.

“I intend to be a ghost to her, so her life isn’t changed. My life will become her shield. My intention is to keep your daughter safe. I will do that. I am not here to disrespect you or her.”

“I really don’t need you here.” Aloura voiced timidly. I turned so quickly I must have startled her because she stepped back and again averted her gaze. I stepped towards her and ducked my head, waiting for her to lift those chocolate eyes to me. I waited patiently until her shy gaze lifted. She stared at me over the brim of her glasses.

“Did he scare you? The guy who stole into your property?” I asked quietly. I heard her dad take a step towards us, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw Will reach out his hand and place it on his arm. I turned my back to them, blocking Aloura’s view of anyone but me.

“Did he scare you?” I repeated. I watched as her eyes danced around, searching for the lie.

“Yes.” She all but whispered, but I caught it.
Good girl.

“No one should ever live in fear. You should be able to live your life freely, openly, and without having to worry who may be following in the shadows.”

Aloura opened her mouth to object, but I interrupted.

“He broke into your home and invaded your space.
That
is not okay. He frightened you; I can see it in your eyes, Aloura.” When my lips uttered her name, I could have sworn she shivered. She wrapped her arms around herself. “I swear to you, I will not mess with your life. If you want to go out, we go out. You want to visit with friends, boyfriend, whatever, do that. But I will be nearby at all times.” Her brown eyes glazed with tears, but she bobbed her head in agreement. I stared at her a few more moments, injecting her purity into my mind.

I turned to my brother and her father as they waited by the door.

“The security system will take around twenty-four hours to be fully installed and operational. I’ll need cameras outside and sensors inside the house. Who controls the main gate?”

“Er...we do. The panel is by the front door,” Graham answered.

“And who has access to the grounds? Will said you have extensive land around here.”

“We have over a hundred acres in total. But It has a ten foot wall around the perimeter of the main gardens.”

“Exits? Is the main gate the only way in?” I asked.

“Yes.”

“Who has access?”

“Erm...me, my partner, Aloura obviously. Sally, her mother and Harry, my partner’s son.” He shook his head, blinking. “We have a few grounds men and a housekeeper. “

“I’ll need the names of every single person that has admission to the house and grounds without having to check in at the gate.”

He opened his mouth and then closed it, nodding.

I spun to face Aloura. “What is your daily routine?”

She stepped back, as if I was invading her space. “Before I moved in here?”

“What do you mean? Where do you normally live?”

She lifted her hand to point towards Will and Graham. “Dad had the stables in the west pasture converted into a house for me. I usually live there. But after...well after everything, he said I should live here.” As she uttered the last part, her eyes downcast and her shoulders slumped.

“How many rooms in your house?”

“Huh?”

“In your house...how many rooms are there?”

She pondered my question a moment before answering. “Seven.”

“Do you want to stay here or there?” I asked, staring at her. Her eyes lifted to mine, an excited brightness lighting them, and a small shy smile curved her ruby lips.

“Hold on a minute,” her dad interrupted. Aloura’s gaze snapped to him before she stared over at the piano. I turned to face her father.

“Doctor Cavendish, I understand you want what’s best for your daughter. But she is twenty...” I glanced behind him at Will who held up six fingers. “Six. Just because some nut-job broke into her home to punish you, doesn’t mean
she
should be punished. If she wants to return to her home then I need to know this so I can put security measures over there too. We need to let her live her life without interruption.”

“I think you should stop telling me what is best for my daughter.”

“Dad.”

“She isn’t safe in her house.”

“She isn’t safe anywhere, in all fairness. That’s why I am here, isn’t it? If this guy is capable of getting onto the grounds, bypassing this house to get to hers, then he is capable of breaking in here.”

Graham’s face paled, and he glanced at Aloura.

“I’m not trying to be an asshole, sir. I’m simply trying to do what you paid me to do. Seventeen rooms in one house is a lot to contain. Her house will be easier to secure. She will be happier in her own space, and it will be fewer disturbances to your daily lives. Don’t let what happened destroy what you have. Don’t give him that power.”

The doctor’s shoulders slumped as he released a weary breath. “I just don’t want anything to happen to her. I know she’s a grown woman, but to her mum and I, she will always be our little girl.”

“Dad.” Aloura choked as she walked over to him, throwing her arms around his waist and burying her face against his chest.

When they pulled apart, Aloura faced me. “I want to live in my own home. Hercules will be happier there too.”

“Hercules?”

“My dog. He’s unsettled down here; the cats bully him.”

I frowned, picturing a giant dog being chased around by cats. What the hell?

“Well, why don’t you take Ryan and show him around, and Will and I can discuss the contracts?” He turned to head over to Will.

“Okay. And Dad...”

“Yeah.”

“No touchy feely.” She cupped her mouth and whisper shouted so we could still hear. Her dad turned a deep shade of pink and swatted at her backside with the newspaper. Will and I howled with laughter.

“I’m so sorry,” her dad said, mortified.

“Not a problem. Besides he’s the suit...I’m the good looking muscle.”

Graham coughed out a laugh, Will jokingly grumbled an insult, and Aloura stood rooted to the spot, staring wide eyed at me. I had no idea what she was thinking until her eyes slowly tracked down my body, and her cheeks reddened.

The same thing most women thought, until they knew the real me.

We wandered out of the house. The warm summer breeze wasn’t doing a thing to cool down my heated flesh. My cheeks were on fire; what the hell was I thinking staring at him like that?
And
getting caught. I slapped my hand against my forehead and grumbled.

“You okay?”

I spun around to face him.

“I – er – I forgot Hercules. Two secs and I’ll be back.” Needing time to gather my thoughts I headed back into the house. My pooch was a welcome excuse to get some space, but I needed to get it together. I couldn’t have this guy living with me and me treating him like some piece of meat. I whistled loudly and waited. When I heard nothing, I whistled again. Scampering of claws hitting the wooden floors made me smile. I knew the little rogue had been sleeping on Dad’s bed again. When his happy face came into view, he was running at full pelt towards me. I laughed and crouched, ready to intercept. But he scrambled past me and flew out the door. “What the hell,” Ryan’s voice boomed. He looked down at my Yorkshire terrier jumping up at his leg, his little tongue flopping out of his mouth.

“Ryan, meet Hercules. Hercules meet Ryan.”

“That is a dog?” he said incredulously.

“What do you mean?” I squatted down and called to Hercules, but he refused to leave our guest alone.

“It’s a rat with hair,” he huffed.

I glared up at him over the top of my glasses in reply.

“You little shit,” Ryan shouted and jumped back. I glanced down, and laughter burst from my throat. I covered my mouth when I caught the furious look on Ryan’s face.

“You offended his manliness.”

“So he peed on my foot?”

I bit down on my bottom lip, trying so hard to suppress my smile. I bobbed my head. The effort to restrain my laughter was so difficult I couldn’t hold it any longer, and a huge grin spread across my face. Hercules snorted his disgust and chased a pigeon from the lawn.

“I'm sorry,” I uttered.

“Yeah, you look it,” he snapped. His harsh tone killed my amusement. My grin slipped from my face, replaced by a chastised blush. I cleared my throat and pushed my glasses up my nose. I stood and motioned down to the lawn, uttering a quiet apology.

I hopped down the three stone steps onto the soft lawn; it was a lush green this time of year. The gardener had recently trimmed all the sculptured Hebe bushes so everything looked so ornate. The lawn had been cut with the stripes I loved. It used to fascinate me as a child how they made those.

I turned when I noticed Ryan wasn’t beside me and found him staring out at the gardens. A relaxed look of awe on his face. I watched, unashamed, as his eyes roamed his surroundings. He closed his eyes momentarily and sucked in a deep breath, almost as if he hadn’t been outdoors in a long time.

“Are you coming?” I said softly.

He glanced down at me, as if he had forgotten I was there. “Yeah, sorry.” Ryan smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. He slid his hands into his pockets.

I stared a little too long at the tightening of the fabric around his biceps, the way his jeans hugged his thighs, and the fluid way he walked. He stood before me and cleared his throat. I couldn’t look up at him, so I turned and carried on walking across the lawn. We headed towards the trees, where a small lane led to my home. I fidgeted, feeling the awkwardness of the silence between us.

“I really am sorry he peed on you. He doesn’t usually behave that way.”

“I reckon he likes me. He was just intimidated by
my
manliness. I mean he has a good name; he just looks...”He held out his hand towards my dog as he ran around the trees scenting them. “He’s a fluffy rat.”

“Stop calling him that. He may poop on your pillow,” I warned.

“He wouldn’t dare,” he grumbled. Then glanced at me. “Would he?”

I threw my head back and laughed. “Probably. He rules the place. I try and boss him, but after four years, I think I’ve lost the battle.”

Ryan’s deep throaty chuckle warmed places it had no business warming.

“So...” He glanced at me before facing forward and fixing his eyes firmly in front of us. “Your dad – he’s gay?”

“Yup. So is my mum.”

“But you said your mom lives here.”

I snorted, because yeah, to an outsider it did seem a little strange.

“Mum and Dad have been best friends since they learned how to walk. My nan, Mum’s mother, was my dad’s nanny. They grew up together. Mum’s parents weren’t exactly…” I searched for the right word. “Accepting of her sexuality. They gave her a choice – be
normal
or she was on her own. My grandma, Dad’s mum, took her in and she lived here with them until they went to university. Her and Dad lived together through university, then bought a house when they started working. When my dad’s parents died, he inherited this place. So they came to live here again. Both of them had always wanted a family and decided being best friends, they would make it work, so that’s where I come in. Dad even wanted to marry my mum so that if anything ever happened to him, she would automatically inherit everything here. But she didn’t want that.”

“Pretty cool that they had each other.”

I faced him, to see if he was being sincere. “Yeah. It’s a little strange.”

“What they have is mutual love and respect, nothing weird about that. They want to make one another happy; they have a lovely daughter. If you’re all happy, then what does it matter if it isn’t conformist? Most conventional families are fucked up beyond repair.” His jaw locked so tight
I
flinched.

“What about your family?”

“My brothers are the best.”

“What about your parents? Do they live here, or are they still in the States?” I smiled up at him, but the muscle twitching in his jaw and the tightening of his fist by his sides warned me I had crossed some invisible line. “I’m sorry, that was maybe too personal.”

“My birth parents are dead.”

I gasped. What a total idiot I was. I reached out and touched his elbow. “I’m so sorry.” He pulled away abruptly as if I burned his skin.

“Nothing to be sorry for. They weren’t people to miss.” The blunt delivery of his words halted me. I stopped walking and stared at his back as he continued up the lane.

I looked past the canopy of trees blocking the strong rays of sun, to the man ahead of me. His shoulders were tense, but other than that, he seemed relaxed and totally at ease. I jogged to catch up to him, and maybe took three strides before I tripped over a raised tree root and stumbled again. This time I knew I was going down. I held my hands out in front, bracing for impact.

Two massive hands gripped my shoulders, hauling me towards the solid wall of man. I huffed out a breath as my breasts connected to his chest. He grunted with the impact. I inhaled a quick breath, taking in his deep masculine scent. His grip on my shoulders tightened before he ripped me away from him and took a step back, as if being close would cause him to catch some disease.

“Be more careful. That’s twice you’ve lost your footing.” His pale blue eyes burned his words into me before he motioned for me to proceed him. I lowered my gaze, but involuntarily glanced up through my lashes to watch him.

“You may have better luck not hitting the floor if you keep your eyes on where you are heading,” he deadpanned. There was no flirtatious teasing. I cleared my throat, pushed my glasses up my nose, and trained my eyes on the path ahead. All the while I was aware of him behind me. His footfalls eerily silent, he was like a ghost floating behind me.

“How do you do that?” I asked without turning to look at him.

“Do what?”

I startled when he was suddenly beside me.

“
That!”
I screeched. “You mister, are huge. How the hell do you not make any sound when you walk? I’m half your size, and it’s like a pack of elephants are walking through the woods.”

He turned his head away from me, but I caught the amused curl at the corner of his mouth. “Habit, I guess. For years I didn’t exist. My job was to be unseen, unheard, get in get out. What was underfoot could end your life. I learned to be aware of where I stepped. It was either that or die. Men relied on me
not
to die. So I didn’t.”

I was staring at him, mouth open, so I snapped it shut. “What’s it like being a soldier?”

Ryan paused to stare at me. “I am
not
a soldier.”

“But I thought you were in the Army?” I was certain Dad had said so.

“I’m a Marine. They are not soldiers, and we are not in the
Army.”

“
I apologise. I was just thinking
Universal Soldier
, you know Jean Claude...I’ll shut up.” I quieted when those piercing eyes fixed me with a steely glare. Maybe that’s the military’s secret weapon. Send grumpy pants in to stare them to death.

“Do you miss it?” I croaked, unable to keep quiet. I never chattered along this much, but he was making me nervous. His shoulders stiffened.

“Do I miss it? What part? Getting shot at? Having my life in peril? Watching my friends die? The heat? The scared women and children begging for me to save them? Not seeing my family? Coming home to no greeting? Which part Aloura?” he snapped.

I sucked in a breath. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to cry or slap him for making me feel like such an idiot. I continued walking. An awkward silence festered between us.

“I asked because you seem so angry to be here,” I bristled.

“With all due respect, you don’t know me. We’ve known each other for what,” he said, glancing at his watch, “thirty-seven minutes. I hardly think that constitutes an intimate acquaintance.”

“You’re eyes speak for you. Mr I’m-so-far-up-my-own-backside-I’m-on-intimate-terms-with-my-colon,” I said in one breath. I faced him, with my hands on my hips, and glared at the arrogant shit. “Even when you smile, you look sad. That’s why I asked. It’s like you’re missing something.” I lifted my chin in defiance before turning away and heading towards my sanctuary. I may have to ask Dad to speak to Will about replacing the conceited man.

“My house is through that clearing. Let’s get this over with,” I snapped. I whistled for Hercules to come out of the trees and strode ahead.

Pride swelled in my chest as I opened the door to my house. When Dad agreed to the idea of me converting the stables into living accommodation, he also gave me free rein of how to design the place. For weeks I sat with the architect and listened to her ideas and explained what I envisioned. My home turned out perfect. We entered through the front door, the space was completely open. The boarding on the ceiling had been removed so the rafters showed. Skylights had been fitted to allow more light into the space, but it wasn’t necessary as there was a full wall of Velux retractable doors, which opened fully to make it seem like the back of the house belonged to the garden.

The vaulted ceiling in the open plan lounge and kitchen made it feel so light and airy. I had it painted a super pale lemon, with white-wash wood. The kitchen units were white, so the entire space was bright and clean. To contrast the pale colours, my kitchen work surfaces were black granite, and my floors deep cherry wood.

Hercules scampered across the floor to his bowl and jumped around as he waited for his food. I giggled and headed over to him.

“Two secs, I will feed him then give you a tour.” When Ryan didn’t answer, I glanced over my shoulder. He was gazing up at the ceiling, his mouth slightly parted.

“It seems bright, like we haven’t even come inside.” His words were quiet, but I heard them. He wandered to the glass wall of doors. “Do these open?”

My lips curled happily. I reached over the counter to the control panel on the wall, and the door folded into a concertina, bringing the outside in. You could also open them manually without having to fold all of them.

“Cool.” He chuckled, and he stepped forward so he was on the border of the house and the garden. He sucked in a deep breath.

“You do that a lot.” I grinned, filling Hercules bowl.

“What’s that?”

“Take in deep breaths, as if you haven’t been outside for a long time.”

His cheeks reddened, but he quickly averted his gaze. “I suppose in some respects I haven’t. I love the smell of the trees and whatever that other smell is.”