Silencing Joy (16 page)

It was late afternoon, and we all slept a
good stretch except Derek, who seemed unable to sit still. He
plotted out a way to contact one of the few guys in Tommy’s gang
that he thought he could trust. Bill and Derek left in the van –
part one of
the plan
.

It amazed me how each step of this plan
involved someone getting their face smashed in or someone putting
themselves in harm’s way. I found it hard to believe that there was
no one we could call
. How about the Army? Or even the Navy?
Could the CIA help?
I posed these questions to Will when we
were finally alone in our room, packing up our stuff. The absurdity
of my questions won me an expression, implying I was a little
dense.

“Where you not at the cabin with me?” Will
asked in sarcastic disbelief. “Those snipers are government-trained
assassins. They weren’t there for dinner and swimming.”

I shrugged my shoulders, agreeing with his
rant. I just had a hard time believing there wasn’t another way to
get Kara out.

Will came up behind me and wrapped his arms
around my waist. My skin tingled from his gentle touch, even though
my body was jittery thinking about this plan and everything that
could go horrifically wrong.

“I’m sorry. I’m just a little tense...I was
really hoping for some more alone time...” he whispered seductively
to me. I nodded in agreement.

“I’m worried, though. What if something goes
wrong? What if Kara isn’t with Tommy at all?” I suggested quietly.
Will spun me around.

“Listen, I know it’s upsetting, but we have
to do this. I can’t even imagine what Derek is going through. I
know that I wouldn’t care about anything but finding you.” He
tipped my chin up and kissed me softly on the lips.

My heart melted, and I hugged him tightly. I
put on a brave face and smiled at him.

“Thank you...” I said softly.

“You’re my angel,” he said, nuzzling my ear
and hugging my waist firmly.

I carried the backpack downstairs, and Jen
was in the kitchen making lunch, combining a whole bunch of canned
goods. I looked in the frying pan and it was a mass of stuff –
beans, peas, and olives. It smelled gross.

“What are you doing?” I asked, wrinkling my
nose.

“What’s it look like? I’m making lunch. Well,
it’s more like
lupper
since it’s in-between lunch and
supper.

“O-kay.”

I let her sour demeanor roll off my back
because I was worried about her. And it was nice of her to attempt
to cook something with almost no groceries.

“Ugh! What smells like shit?” Jake called out
as he enters the kitchen.

Jen sent him an evil glare as she stirred the
contents of the frying pan.

“You!” she quipped back.

Well, at least she was talking to him.
Although, I thought he should tread lightly.

“Wow, Jen. You look like a domestic goddess,”
Jake deadpanned.

I saw her lift the spoon and saw she was
going to throw it at him, so I rushed to take it. I gently moved
Jen away from the stove and continued what she started. I stirred
the mixture and turned the heat down. Jen sat down at the kitchen
table, picking up a stray fork that lay there. She spun it with her
fingers monotonously.

Will came in the room. He sounded and acted
upbeat, but we were all feeling the dread and anxiety of the
execution of this plan.

“Hey, Jen, you ready for this?” he asked.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.”

Derek and Bill came through the front door.
The telltale squeak of the door echoed through the old house. They
met us in the kitchen.

“How did it go?” Will asked.

Derek’s face was hard. He spoke through
clenched teeth as he recounted his conversation with his informant,
some guy named Brian.

“She is at the warehouse. She is safe, for
now.”

“That’s a good thing,” I said, trying to
sound optimistic.

Derek punched the wall. We all jumped because
none of us saw it coming.

“She’s been tied up, beaten...” Bill added
hesitantly.

My eyes welled up with tears.
Poor
Kara!

Poor Jen! What if this goes too far?
I
wasn’t sure if I could take this pressure and worry. It was
debilitating.

The room took on an even more somber
atmosphere. No one wanted to say anything...or maybe there really
wasn’t anything to say. We all took bites in silence, choking down
the hodge-podge Jen created.

Kara:

“
You are fucking crazy!”

It’s Brian.

Kara has learned over the days and nights to
recognize his voice. His doesn’t make her body cringe like Tommy’s
does, or shiver like Mouse’s does.

“
She is the boss’s daughter! The man in charge of
this fucking operation’s kid! The guy who sends us the girls and
the drugs!” Brian’s voice resonates disbelief and horror. “You are
losing ground, Tommy! You can’t just be happy with what you have!
You are going to fuck this whole thing up, and we’re all going to
go to jail!”

“
Whaaa...what is he talking about?” Mouse utters
on a squirm.

“
Watch it!” Tommy warns with clipped staccato
words that are like iced fish for the market, ready to spoil. Those
two words send a band of fear through Kara’s sightless and bound
body. “I don’t have to tell you everything! You fucking do what I
say!”

The crunch of knuckles hitting skin sounds distinctly
through the echo of the warehouse.

“
Do what you’re told! Or you’ll end up like
Harrison!” Tommy spits at Brian.

After lunch, or
lupper
, as Jen called
it, we all headed into the basement.

In the cellar, behind a wall and underneath a
grate, lay military assault gear. Vests, helmets, shields, and guns
of every shape and size all nestled snugly beneath this old
house.

My eyes widened to see it all neatly placed
and hidden. Derek and Jake selected a vest smaller than the others.
Gently and hesitantly, Jake examined it and handed it to Jen. I
looked at it too.

“It’s heavy Kevlar,” Will said quietly.

I bent the collar back, and saw an
S
scrawled on the label.
A small vest for a small agent.
My
mind raced with everything that could go wrong.

I remembered that, just a few days ago in my
apartment, I was worrying about Jen, not wanting her involved.
Keeping her safe was a thought that dominated all others. Now, she
was preparing to plunge head-first into this horrific
nightmare.

Bait.

When I heard that word, I thought of a piece
of cheese or peanut butter placed on a trap for a rat. The image
sent shivers down my spine. I would do it in Jen’s place in a
heartbeat, but that conversation was squashed quickly. Will and
Derek were afraid that Tommy would recognize me and do something
drastic
after everything that had happened. That was the
word they used...
drastic
. I think they mean kill. Tommy was
already considered Will’s killer. Now, he had nothing to lose.

Will and Derek's faces were unreadable, but
Jake's said it all. He really didn’t want her to do this. I
couldn’t find any words to say as she put on the tactical gear. We
were all quiet, not wanting to say what everyone thought. Saving
Kara was the objective, but the mission’s plan was what scared
me.

My job was simple. Photograph and record
everything going down. Derek hoped that his cover would hold up as
he used Jen to infiltrate back into Tommy's good graces. It was a
long shot, but it was the only shot we had. Each hour and day that
passed put Kara in a more difficult and dangerous position. Bill
was afraid that Matthews would get angry and do something rash,
putting Kara's life in more danger. Tommy was single-handedly
ripping Matthew’s entire illegal operation to shreds.

The guys grabbed everything they needed. They
were loading up. The ammo clinked and the guns clicked. As the
weapons were readied, neatly harnessed in a holster, they were put
on or in a large duffel bag.

I stood off to the side with Jen, and we
walked into the nearby furnace room. Jen removed her shirt, and I
helped her strap on her Kevlar. We made sure it fit snugly. I
squatted down and adjusted it. I tugged and checked it all
around.

“You don’t have to do this,” I said.

“Yes. I do.”

“There has to be another way,” I added.

“Well, do you have a brilliant, mastermind
plan that you aren’t sharing?”

“No.”

“Then, getting captured and drawing out Tommy
is the best way to get in and get Kara,” Jen said matter-of-factly.
“We’ll be in and out,” she said, trying to convince herself. “I
just have to get Derek inside.”

Will peeked around the corner. “How does it
feel?” He tested it by pulling on it, slipping his index finger
under the shoulder strap.

“Heavy,” Jen answered.

“Why don’t you go get the rest of the stuff
you need?” Will suggested.

“Okay,” I said for Jen.

The two of us walked to the second floor. I
went to the closet in my room, rifled around in it, and pulled out
a huge sweatshirt.

“This will work,” I said.

“Ugh, it’s stiff as a board and stinks,” Jen
complained.

“I know, but you can’t smell like a flower or
look like a runway model for this. This ugly sweatshirt is
textbook.”

Jen took it from my hand, reluctantly. I
stuck my head back in the closet to look for some pants, finding a
pair of men’s jeans, dime-store quality.
Perfect!

I took the jeans from the closet and the
sweatshirt from Jen and walked out onto the porch. At the bottom of
the steps, I rubbed the clothes in the dirt. There was broken
lattice sticking out from under the porch, and I ran the sweatshirt
across it, tearing a rough hole in the fabric. I shook out the
pants and sweatshirt to admire my handiwork.
Great!

Jen sat in a decrepit chair on the porch. Her
arms were tight around her middle.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“Yeah. Nerves. That’s all.”

“Come on,” I ordered, and I led her to the
kitchen, tossing the dirty clothes on a chair.

I grabbed the cooking oil from the back of
the stove. I pour some into my hand and approached Jen.

“What are you doing!?” she asked
horrified.

“I am going to grease up your hair.”

“What!?”

“It’s too clean and Redken© perfect!” I
said.

I tipped my palm over the top of her head and
Jen yelped. Heavy, running footsteps on the basement stairs make us
both turn to see Jake standing in the doorway.

“Are you okay!?” he said through quick
breaths.

Oil oozed through Jen’s hair onto her face,
and she cringed.

“Ew!” Jen squealed.

Jake laughed and said, “Nice hair.”

She sent him a deathly glower as I rubbed the
oil around her scalp. I wiped away the excess with a dishcloth and
stood back to admire my handiwork again.

“You are totally on your way to being
homeless-druggie-girl
.” I strung the words together like Jen
had done with Will.

“
Pretty-homeless-druggie-girl
,” Jake
tossed out. I smirked. He was
so
into her it was not even
funny. I washed my hands in the sink.

“All set?” Bill asked as he came in the
kitchen carrying a huge duffel bag.

Jen grabbed the clothes off the chair and
left the room, giving Jake a wide berth. Will put down a rifle and
a handgun on the table and took my hand.

“Is she okay?” Will asked me.

“I think so. She’s nervous, but she’s
tough...” I trailed off.

Out in the foyer, Derek was coming in and out
of the door carrying weapons and stuff they thought we would need.
I checked the backpack that had been our saving grace and took out
my camera. I had examined it before I packed it, but I had to
recheck it. It was almost an obsession. My pictures were going to
be the evidence we needed. I had anxiety that I would screw it
up.

Jen came out of the bathroom. Her long blonde
hair was matted and the clothes were humongous on her. She looked
like a vagabond. Part two of the mission was accomplished. Bill
gazed down at her shoes.

“I think we might want to find her something
else for her feet though.”

I glance down at her silver Sperry sneakers
with glittery shoelaces.

“Um...yeah,” I agreed and rummaged through a
closet in the hallway. There were a ton of shoes in all sizes. I
picked a small pair of men’s running shoes. They’d still be too
big, but they would have to do. I carried them outside and repeated
my routine to dirty them up. I rubbed them around in the dirt and
handed them to Jen. Jake handed her an extra pair of tube
socks.

“Wear two pairs; that will help with the
size.”

She nodded her head, but didn’t say thank
you. She took the socks from him and sat in a chair in the living
room.

Bill and Derek were whispering in the corner
and headed off into the kitchen. We all followed, although I felt
my feet had turned to lead because they just didn’t want to
move.

A large hand-drawn map was spread out on the
table, the floor plan of a huge building. Bill’s drawing and
discussion of the plan made it much more concrete and much less
surreal.

I followed Will out to the van.

“My heart is hammering in my chest, I’m so
worried about her,” I told him.

“I know. We’ll do everything we can to keep
her safe.” He squeezed my hand reassuringly and kissed my
forehead.

“You ready?” Bill called out.

“Yup,” Jake yelled from the house.

Jen came towards the van, her face solemn,
but determined. Her outfit looked perfect. She didn’t even look
like herself. That was the point. The plan was carefully
strategized.