Silence Of The Hams (4 page)

“Sure I did. I just went along with it for your sake,“ Mike said with a grin. “See you later. Scott and I are going out after work to show off The Beast.“

“Don’t be late. Tomorrow’s going to be a long day. Remember, you have to be up early to pick up your cap and gown.”

Mike had to practically peel his younger brother and sister off his new truck before he could get away.

Jane threw together a quick dinner and hastily sewed a button on the shirt Todd was wearing that evening. Thanks to a revolt among the parents two years earlier, the boys no longer had to wear expensive little suits they’d outgrow in two weeks for the grade school commencement, as they had when Mike graduated. The girls still insisted on dressing like princesses, but the boys only had to be forced into button-up shirts and ties.

The ceremony, Jane had to admit, was charming. Partly because it didn’t have any genuine significance like a high school graduation, and also because the school principal didn’t appear to take it terribly seriously. It was more of a party atmosphere than a mock-serious occasion. There was a processional—nobody had figured out a way to avoid that—and a mercifully short speech by the principal, then a couple upbeat songs by the chorus and the awarding of certificates of graduation. It was over in just under forty-five minutes. And that included the punch and cookies afterward.

“Wow, that was almost painless,“ Shelley said as they walked back to the car. Their boys trailed behind them. “Well, except for your mother-in-law being there.”

Thelma Jeffry had insisted on trying to treat it as a maudlin occasion, but Shelley and Jane had both been so relentlessly cheerful that she couldn’t carry it off. “Just wait until tomorrow if you think she was bad tonight,“ Jane said. “Mike is the first grandchild to graduate from high school. She’ll pull out all the stops.“

“I told you to lie about the date,“ Shelley said.

Jane laughed. “I couldn’t talk the printer into faking a separate announcement.“

“There’s probably a black market. You just didn’t try hard enough.”

When they got home, Katie reported curtly that Mel VanDyne had called and left a message that he’d like to come by later in the evening if it was convenient. Mel was what Katie referred to archly as Jane’s “significant other“ since she felt it was undignified for her mother to have a “boyfriend.“ Especially since she didn’t have a boyfriend of her own.

Mel was also a police detective, and Katie’s version of his message sounded official. “Wonder what he wants?“ Jane asked. “He was supposed to be on duty tonight so he can help me chaperone the all-night high school party tomorrow.“

“What a fun date you are,“ Shelley said. “Coffee?“ Jane asked.

“Oh, maybe half a cup. Was that an expression of disapproval?“ she added, gesturing toward the door Katie’d gone through.

Jane nodded. “It comes and goes. She likes Mel. She doesn’t like
me
and Mel. She was still Daddy’s little girl when Steve died, and she goes through spells of idolizing him and thinking, like Thelma does, that I should have gone into permanent mourning.“

“It’s just her hormones,“ Shelley said. “If it weren’t that, it would be something else. Denise has decided that I willfully and deliberately passed on my straight-hair genes to her.“

“She’s right, isn’t she?“ Jane said, grinning as she plugged in the coffeemaker.

“Of course she is. And wait till she sees what happens to her thighs when she turns thirty if she thinks straight hair is bad.”

They were both on their second cup of coffee and happily rummaging through a furniture catalog when Mel arrived.

“This isn’t the visit where you say you can’t help chaperone and I have to rip out your throat, is it?“ Jane greeted him.

“No—not quite. This is an official visit.“

“Not the parking ticket!“ Shelley exclaimed. “The officer said—”

He held up both hands. “No, I just need some information.”

Jane supplied him with coffee and put a plate of sugar cookies on the coffee table in the living room. “Don’t even think about it, Willard,“ she said sternly to the big yellow dog who shambled out of the dining room when he heard the plate being set down. Willard sprawled on the floor at Mel’s feet and gazed up at him soulfully.

“You two were at the opening of the deli at the end of the next block this afternoon, weren’t you?”

Mel was a few years younger than Jane, which always made her slightly uncomfortable, but today he looked tired and annoyed and not quite so young.

“We were. Unfortunately,“ Shelley answered.

“I wonder if you could each make a list of everybody you remember seeing there and approximate times. And then I’ll need to know which of those people had any connection with Robert Stonecipher that you know of.“

“Mel, what’s this about?“ Jane asked. “It was just an accident and—“

“Jane, somebody else said they saw you in the storeroom after it happened.”

She nodded. “I was, for a second.“

“And you saw that rack?“

“The one with the hams that fell over? Yes, of course.“

“Did you notice the base of it? The legs?“

“I didn’t pay any attention,“ Jane replied.

Mel sighed. “Well, if you had, you’d have realized right away that it couldn’t possibly fall over by itself. It had to be pushed. Hard.“

“Somebody killed Stonecipher?“ Jane exclaimed.

“It sure looks like it,“ Mel said grimly.

4

“Mike!“ Jane exclaimed. “He can’t go back there!“

“What?“ Mel asked, disconcerted by the sudden shift in the conversation.

“My son
cannot
work where somebody is killing people!“

“Hold it, Jane. We have no idea yet what really happened. Someone may have pushed it over without knowing he was behind it or—“

“It doesn’t matter.“

“Look, Jane, I think you should just cool down a little before you make a snap decision,“ he said warily.

“Mel’s right,“ Shelley said. “Besides everything else, Stonecipher was a jerk who probably had more enemies than we could guess. Even if someone did kill him, that doesn’t mean they’d harm anybody else.“

“Jane—“ Mel said hesitantly, “you know I’d never butt in on your mothering and I’m not now, but I was once an eighteen-year-old boy myself.“ He paused, waiting to see how this was going over. When Jane merely stared back at him, he went on, “Boys that age are awfully sensitive about having their mothers tell them what to do. And Mike’s a sensible, responsible kid, which would make it even harder for him to take being treated like a child.”

Shelley backed him up. “Jane, I’d feel just like you do, but Mel has a point. Mike thinks he’s the one who takes care of you. To be told
you’ve
decided he has to quit his job would be really tough on him.“

“Not as tough as getting killed,“ Jane said.

“Jane, think about it,“ Shelley said. “If some madman killed Stonecipher at random, he’s unlikely to keep coming back to the deli. And Mike’s hardly ever there anyway except to pick up orders to deliver. It’s not as if he’s the night watchman or anything. And if Stonecipher was killed by somebody who meant to go after him specifically, Mike’s in no danger in that case either.”

Jane shook her head. “My brain knows you’re both right, but my heart doesn’t agree.”

Mel, having given his one piece of advice, waited patiently. Shelley said, “If you want my advice—and even if you don’t—I think you ought to tell Mike how you feel, but leave the decision up to him. That’s how you always operate with him.“

“But it’s too late for him to get another job for the summer, and you know kids his age have no sense of their own mortality,“ Jane objected.

“But he cares a lot for your welfare, Janey,“ Mel said. “And as the investigating officer in this matter, I have to say I don’t believe he’s in any danger. No more than we’re all in, all the time.“

“Just consider it, Jane,“ Shelley put in.

“Okay, okay. I’ll think about it before I say anything.“ She took a deep breath and said, “All right, Mel. What did you want of us? Neither of us saw anything happen.“

“Yes, but you saw who was there. Would you both write down everybody you can remember, then we’ll talk about your lists.”

Jane went to the desk and took out two legal pads she used for taking phone messages. She and Shelley separately composed their lists, asking occasional questions of each other. “What’s the name of that woman with the weird apricot-colored hair?”

“Who’s that guy who always wears the checked flannel shirts?”

“Did I really see Milly Vogrin or do I just think I did because I see her everywhere?”

Finally, when they’d written down all the names they knew, Mel copied it onto one list, eliminating duplicates, and started going through it name by name.

“To your knowledge, do any of these people have any connection to Robert Stonecipher?”

To the first couple names, both women shook their heads helplessly.

“What about Charles and LeAnne Doherty,“ Mel asked, working his way down the list.

“He was LeAnne’s attorney when they got divorced,“ Shelley said.

“Divorced? But they were there together?“ Mel asked.

“They remarried.“

“Oh, my gosh!“ Jane exclaimed. “Stonecipher was her attorney?“

“What’s so surprising about that?“ Mel asked.

“I guess it shouldn’t be a surprise. It’s just that LeAnne never mentioned his name. She just called him—well, never mind. You see, they got divorced and LeAnne just picked somebody out of the phone book to represent her. And he absolutely cleaned Charles out. Left him virtually broke. LeAnne was real pissed and didn’t care.“

“Wait—how do you know this?“ Mel asked. “She told me, of course,“ Jane said. “We were room mothers together last year. So her attorney—Stonecipher as it now turns out-wrung Charles dry. But when all the dust had settled, LeAnne discovered that she only got a pittance. Everything had disappeared into legal fees. She even went to another lawyer to try to recover some of it, and he pretty much told her she’d been a dummy. Anyhow, it created a weird kind of bond between her and Charles and they eventually got back together. They went to marriage therapy and so on and got married all over again. Which was great for them, but they hardly had anything left to live on. They had to declare bankruptcy and start over. Charles had worked for a bank or a mortgage company or something like that.“

“Euuw,“ Shelley put in. “Companies like that aren’t wild about bankrupt employees.“

“Right. He lost his job and they both had to work like dogs to get back up to speed. They finally got enough saved to open that little cubbyhole dry cleaners next to the grocery store.“

“I’d never heard this story,“ Shelley said somewhat resentfully. “I knew about the divorce and remarriage, but not the rest of it. I only knew Stonecipher was her lawyer because somebody at the bake sale was asking about divorce attorneys, and she said he’d represented her and she warned everybody to stay away from him.“

“Was she angry when she said that?“ Mel asked.

Jane and Shelley realized at the same instant that they’d been making a case against the Dohertys. “No, no!“ Shelley said hastily. “More wry and embarrassed than angry. It was a couple years ago and they’ve got it together now and I’m sure—”

Jane put her hand over her mouth. “What?“ Mel asked.

“Nothing.“

“Janey,“ he said sternly.

“Well, you’ll find out anyway, I guess. I was reading that little ‘good news’ newspaper/shopper thing we usually let turn to mulch in the driveway last week and saw something about the city council meeting. Apparently Stonecipher was threatening a lawsuit against a dry cleaners. Something about hazardous chemicals. I don’t think the article mentioned which one it was, but it could have been the Dohertys.“

“I’ll check it out,“ Mel said. “So they were both there at the deli opening?“

“I’m the one who saw them,“ Shelley said, closing her eyes to picture it. “But I’m not positive I saw both of them. It’s just that they usually do go everywhere together. I know I saw LeAnne because she had on that navy and white sweater I tried to get you to buy, Jane. Remember, I told you if you waited for it to go on sale you’d miss your chance?”

Mel cleared his throat.

“Well,“ Shelley huffed, “LeAnne was there, but I’m not sure about Charles.”

Mel went back to the list. “I understand both Stonecipher and a man named Foster Hanlon were trying to get the deli shut down, and Hanlon was there as well.“

“They came together,“ Jane said. “Well, at about the same time, anyway. But Hanlon was on Stonecipher’s side of the dispute.“

“As far as we know,“ Shelley said ominously.

“What do you mean?“ Mel asked.

“Just that sometimes generals disagree with each other,“ Shelley said. “They were both almost professional troublemakers. Maybe Stonecipher took the lead and Hanlon didn’t like the way he handled it and blamed Stonecipher for losing the battle.“

“Shelley, that’s crazy,“ Jane said. “Killing somebody over a zoning ordinance?“