Sidelined (37 page)

Another deep breath fills my lungs, and my skin tingles with the knowledge of my answer.

Cal raises his eyebrows. “And there we go. You figured it out. Took you fucking long enough.”

“T
ook you long enough.”

I stare at Lucy. “You gonna let me in or are we having this conversation out in the hall?”

She sighs and moves her light-brown hair from her eyes. “Come in.”

She looks a little different to the last time I saw her. She finally grew into her boobs—and by grew into, I mean she put on a good few pounds. She’s also dyed her hair lighter, back to its natural color. Other than that, her eyes are the same pale-brown they always have been, and her lips are still permanently turned down.

Yeah, I was definitely with her for her tits.

“So, what do you want to talk about?” She perches on the sofa and gestures for me to take the chair.

“Don’t act like you don’t know, Lucy. Stupid ain’t a good look on you.”

With a heavy sigh, she says, “I thought so.”

“Why’d you do it?”

“I…I don’t know, Jack. I just…” Another sigh, this time accompanied with a hand through her hair. “We were so young. You were the third draft pick and had the Heisman in your hands. I knew you’d get drafted and for a lot of money, but I didn’t want to leave Denver. I loved it here, and I still do. It would have been so easy to give up everything I wanted for you, but I couldn’t.”

“So you chickened your way out of telling me this? You decided the best way to end things would be to fuck some eighteen-year-old kid in our bed?”

She opens her mouth then closes it again. “I still loved you, Jack, but not enough. We were so young—”

“Biggest cop-out I’ve heard in a while.”

“I was terrified that I’d move to some strange city and everything would change. I just didn’t love you enough to take that risk. But yes. I took the easy way out for me and the hard way for you. I was young and dumb and I didn’t think it through at all. If I could change it, I would.”

Meaning she wouldn’t have cheated now that she knows how much the Vipers pay me.

I nod. “All right.”

She frowns. “All right? That’s all you have to say?”

“It’s all I needed to know, Luce. It might surprise you to learn that your little trick fucked my trust in women and relationships.”

“So, why now?” Her lips curve slightly. “Why, after four years, is it so important that you know why I did it?”

“Because there’s someone who’s worth it and I wanna be certain I can give her everything she deserves.”

“I’m glad. Really, I am.” Her smile widens with a twitch. “I hope my pathetic reasons have given you what you needed.”

“They have. Closure is underrated.” I mirror her smile, except mine is definitively more smirk-like. “Thank you. For tellin’ me.”

“You’re welcome.” She stands when I do and pauses before stepping forward and wrapping her arms around my neck. “I’m happy you have someone to make you happy.”

“Yeah,” I laugh, briefly hugging her back. “We’ll see. It ain’t that clean-cut.”

“Well, if I know you, and I imagine you haven’t changed a great deal in four years”—she steps back, staring at me—“you aren’t going to let that stop you.”

“Damn fuckin’ right.”

Lucy laughs and opens the door. “It was great to see you, Jack. If you and Bella didn’t hate each other so much, I’d say, ‘Let’s do this again,’ but it was kind of awkward.”

“You’re tellin’ me.” I step into the hall. “Take care of yourself, Luce.”

“You, too,” she replies softly, smiling before she closes the door.

I turn around, a giant weight lifted off my shoulders. It’s crazy how such a short conversation can change everything. The ball and chain that’s been weighing me down since I was twenty-one has dissipated completely.

Her reasons for cheating on me are fucking bullshit, but they’re good enough that I can accept them. After all, Lucy is a Colorado girl, and I’d imagine that leaving her home state just for a guy would have been terrifying. And she’s right. We were young. We were young and impulsive and stupid, and we both made mistakes.

Mine was trusting her, but there’s no reason to rehash that again.

Maybe much hasn’t changed though. As I get into my car, I reason that maybe trusting Macey as soon as I knew Mitch was back on the scene was a dumb move. Maybe pursuing this illogical relationship we had after that day was stupidity of epic proportions on my part, but I can’t change that now. All I can do is roll with her decisions and hope they’re not as bad as I fear they might be.

Sure. I can navigate her body with expert precision and tease her to the brink of pleasure she’s never experienced, but I’m not the one who held her heart for years. I’m not the one she lived with and loved and breathed. I’m just the guy who, by a fluke of fate and some OCD planning by Reid’s mom, met her at a fancy dinner. I’m just the guy whose ear she whispered, “Do you fuck as well as you play football?” into before I even knew she didn’t know a thing about the game.

I’m just the guy her best friend sighed at and said, “I hope she finds a guy to buy her Chanel one day.”

I’m just the guy who can be that guy.

I pull into the parking lot of my hotel and park. Sitting where I am, I toss my phone up in the air and catch it. Over and over, I do this—until I finally throw it poorly and the phone lands with a thunk between my feet on the floor.

I bend down, grab it, and bring up my messages.

You got Cal’s number?
I send to Leah.

Yeah. Why?

Shit. She’s glued to her phone, I swear.

Need it.

Say please, pretty boy.

Need it. PLEASE!

Desperate. Must be important.

Stop fucking with me.

Her next message is his number. Seconds later, before I can open a new message, another comes through.

For the love of whatever sanity she hasn’t destroyed already, don’t let her go back to Mitch. Shit, Jack. I’m too young to be tried for murder.

My lips twitch up.
Well stopping her from going back to him is number one. Even if she tells me no.

My phone rings and I answer her call. “Yeah?”

“You know,” Leah says. “When I first met you, I thought you were a total fucking selfish asshole who only thought about the needs of his cock. But after that message, I might be halfway in love with you.”

“Whoa, Leah. Comin’ on a little strong there.”

“It’s all right. Corey’s across the room laughing at me.” She laughs herself. “Seriously, Jack. Don’t let her do it. I don’t care if you have to drag her to a sex club and shackle her to a wall. Hell, I’ll do that if I have to. I don’t know what choice she’s making because she’s turning into a hedgehog and hibernating for the weekend, but if she picks him, I’m gonna have to invest in a gun.”

“Who you shootin’?”

“All three of you. Him for being a fuckturd, her for being dumb, and you for being a pussy.”

“Your boyfriend has to do something about your cockiness.”

“It’s rubbing off. I don’t care.” Leah sighs. “What are you doin’, Jack?”

I smirk. “She might be done with the game, but I’m not, and I guarantee Mitch ain’t, either. So, Leah, I’m playin’ dirty. Wanna play?”

With Leah currently meeting Cal in the Chanel store to pick out a purse for Macey, there’s a sense of peace inside me. The delivery will be totally anonymous, so my balls are safe. For now.

After all, being waterboarded with my own testicle juice sounds fucking horrific.

I also have no doubt that Macey Kelly has the drive and determination to carry that particular threat out.

I just wish I didn’t have a huge Macey-shaped hole in my life. There’s nothing I wish for more than for her to stroll through my hotel room door and weakly tackle-hug me the way she does. I fucking wish so badly that I could be the one buying her that goddamn Chanel purse and delivering it myself.

Well, maybe not buying it. I fucking hate shopping.

Can I get shoes, too? I didn’t go over-budget,
Leah texts.

Sure. Whatever,
I reply. I can always transfer more money to Cal. Thank fuck for online banking.

“Your girl is crazy,” I say to Corey, who is sitting next to me on the sideline while the defense runs through some moves.

“What’d she do now?”

“She’s in Chanel.”

“Jesus. You let the beast loose.” He rubs his hand down his face. “Chanel is to Leah what Macey’s vibrators are to her.”

I raise an eyebrow. “You know about those?”

“Man, I’m unfortunate enough to have recounts of the power of Mr. Jack Rabbit—named before you, not after you, dickhead—and all I gotta say is don’t let her go because she ain’t ashamed of her fuckin’ sexuality in the slightest and she don’t give a shit who knows.”

“That I know,” I reply, grinning. “It’s one of the many reasons she’s fucking perfect for me.”

“Jack Carr, falling in love. Fuck me.”

“Who’d have thought?” My grin morphs to a smirk then drops. “Just hope to fuck we win this game this weekend and I go back to what I want.”

Corey laughs low, slowly. “Shit, bro. You’re not a pussy. You know how this shit goes. You want somethin’, you go get it. You don’t let it come to you. It never comes quick enough, like most women.” He laughs louder, and I join him. Truth. “You got it easier though, man. You’ve got everyone on your side. Everyone fuckin’ hated me except Cole.”

“That’s because you looked like a dick. I’ve done fuck all except give her the best orgasms of her life, as she once admitted to me.” Sure, it was in a post-orgasmic state and I think she was half drunk at the time, but a compliment is a compliment and I’m taking one like that every fucking time.

“Fair enough.” Corey stands, grabbing his helmet. “But, man, the question ain’t about the orgasms. It’s whether you loved her the same way. That’s the shit the sappy shits remember.”

“As well as I could,” I reply, walking onto the field with him.

He stops when we get into position at the seventy-yard line and turns to me. “Love a woman the way you fuck her. Hard and fast sometimes, slow and gentle others. If you do that and she picks him, she’s off my fuckin’ Christmas card list.”

I nod once, fighting a slight laugh, and get ready for him to call the play.