ShouldveKnownBetter (14 page)

He was shaking his head and frowning, his dark, expressive brows furrowing. “I can’t stay away from you.
Tu me fascinent
. You fascinate me.”

Sarah bit her lip as his ardent, hungry stare crumbled the wall she was desperately trying to keep between them. He was too much for her to fight against. She wasn’t even sure she wanted to. She should, because she
was
there with another man, but that was irrelevant at the moment.

“You still won’t admit it?
C'est incroyable!
”

“Won’t admit what?” she whispered, dreading, yet knowing the answer.

Dan had never stood a chance, not really. He was merely an innocent bystander—collateral damage in this never-ending back and forth between her and Sebastian. She’d no doubt be racked with guilt about that later, but right now too many other thoughts, almost entirely having to do with Sebastian, jockeyed for position.

Sebastian uttered a stream of what sounded like curses in French. “You know what. That look in your eyes just now. I may be young, but I am not stupid. I know what it meant. You want me as much as I want you. It’s there every time I kiss you. Every time I touch you. Admit it.”

“You misinterpreted,” Sarah said, pivoting to face Sebastian and reaching for anything in her jumbled-up brain to keep control.

Sebastian moved closer again. “Tell me you didn’t buy this dress with me in mind. You know I love blue.”

She couldn’t outright lie to him and kept silent.

His hands crept under the jacket and he caressed her bare shoulders with the pads of his fingers as his gaze dropped to her lips and he licked his own. His touch was light, but thrilling. Just a few caresses had already revved her up more than Dan ever had.

With tantalizingly slow movements, he massaged her neck with his strong, agile hands. She was dangerously close to purring like Tasha if he kept it up. Her breath came in deep, uneven surges. She was in big trouble. She needed to get away from him and cursed herself when she remained rooted to the spot.

“You want me.” His breath was hot on her neck as he leaned even closer. “I can see it. It’s obvious on your face. I want you too. I think that’s clear.
Tu es pour moi la plus belle fille du monde.
To me you are the most beautiful girl in the world.”

His fingers continued their exquisite torture. “At least I am willing to admit how much I want you. I
know
you want me too. I can’t, and I won’t, leave you alone anymore, and you’re just going to have to get used to that.”

Sarah shuddered, drawing a shaky breath. He tilted her head, exposing the skin at her nape, and dragged open-mouthed kisses along the column of her throat before running his tongue up to her ear and exploring the soft folds within. A helpless moan escaped and she clenched her teeth.

The fraction of a second when Sarah could’ve resisted passed unheeded. No matter the consequences, in this moment, she wanted to experience Sebastian. She dropped her head back to give him better access, and he caught her earlobe in his teeth, nibbling and making her lose her mind by degrees.

Taking his mouth from her for the briefest of seconds, his voice deep and husky with desire, he said, “Give up, Sarah.” Then he resumed biting at her flesh and a moan rose from deep inside her.

God, but she wanted him with every cell in her body.

Her knees buckled as he broke away. He snaked a thickly-muscled arm around her waist, pulling her close once more. He backed her further into the dark of the terrace. Her breasts pressed against his chest and she squeaked as her nipples hardened.

“So beautiful,” he muttered, brushing her mouth with his fingertips. Rubbing his thumb over her lower lip, he increased the pressure, forcing her lips apart. “Open for me.”

At the command in his voice, Sarah’s body heated even more. He was no longer a young man with an infatuation. He was a hard, hot, sexual man intent on taking what he wanted.

And truth be told, he wasn’t the only one drowning in need.

Bringing his mouth down to hers, Sebastian teased his tongue over her top lip. A strangled moan broke from Sarah. His fingers wandered from her mouth to her cheek before stopping to caress her face.

She was unable to utter a word to deter him as she writhed, her desperation for his touch growing more urgent by the second. She’d never needed someone like this before and had no real idea of what to do or how to handle herself.

“
Je te veux embrasser partout
,” he muttered. “I want to kiss you all over.”

An image of Sebastian naked, his magnificent body laid out before her like a delectable buffet, blanketed her addled mind and her mouth watered.

A car alarm blared in the distance, bringing Sarah crashing back to reality. She wrenched her protesting body out of Sebastian’s arms, an agitated gasp escaping from her lips.

Needing to put distance between them, she scurried back into the light. Panting as she tried to catch her breath, she said the first thing that came to her. “I’m here with someone else.”

Sebastian’s eyes flashed with something she didn’t quite recognize. “Yes, you have a boyfriend, so it’s not right for me to kiss you. I’ve tried to be a gentleman, but you don’t make it easy.”

His gaze stole down her body, setting her afire again. Was sending him away the right thing to do? The logical part of her brain knew it was, but the rest of her wasn’t on board.

“
Mon Dieu
, you look good tonight. I love that dress, but would also love to peel it off you and run my tongue all over your body.”

Her breath caught.
My God, what would that be like?
Sarah knew if she said anything, they’d be right back where they’d started when Sebastian had followed her.

After an eternity, he lifted his gaze back to her face, his eyes dark as the night around them, and Sarah was wrapped up in his stare like a fine gem nestled amongst a soft bed of satin. “
Merde.
Go back to Dan before I carry you out of here. I can’t trust myself not to throw you over my shoulder.”

He snatched his coat, and she shivered as the cold came rushing back and goose bumps broke out on her chilled skin. “But, Sarah, know this. I want you,
mon trésor
. And I will find a way to have you, even if I have to wait until after you’ve realized you can’t stay with Dan.”

She escaped into the bar without another word and fled to the bathroom, where she tried to purge the potent combination of excitement and dread settling in her belly like a lead weight. Her breath still came in short bursts, and salvaging any semblance of control was getting more and more difficult. If she’d stayed, she’d been about five seconds from freeing his erection that had pressed against her stomach and dropping to her knees.

She knew better. No good could come of this, but she very much feared she couldn’t stop it now.

Collecting herself as best she could, Sarah then threw cold water on her face before rejoining the group. The last thing she wanted to do was sit there pretending everything was fine. She wanted to go home, now. She caught Dan’s eye, and he came over.

“You okay?”

“Not really. I think I ate something that didn’t agree with me. Would you mind taking me home? I’ll catch a cab if you want to stay.” Guilt weighed her down. She needed to get away from Dan as soon as possible. Her brain was a tangled mess. Alone time was necessary so she could figure out what had happened out on the patio and how she felt about it.

Dan’s eyes narrowed as he searched her face, but Sarah wasn’t sure what he saw there. Whatever it was, he agreed to see her home. She threw on her coat then grabbed his arm and pulled him out the door.

As soon as Dan pulled up to the house she jumped out of the car, mumbling something about calling him tomorrow. Once inside, she undressed, let her hair down, and climbed into a hot bath. Her head was pounding, and she leaned against the wall of the tub, closing her eyes as her mind raced.

Sarah couldn’t make sense of anything except the one thing her mind kept coming back to, she was in big trouble.  

Chapter Eight

“What am I
doing
?” Sarah wailed the next morning as she sat on her couch talking on the phone with Marcy.

“Tell me about it.”

Exhaling audibly, Sarah began her tale. Though she wasn’t sure she wanted to admit it, she also told Marcy she’d had another nightmare. When she took a breath, Marcy whistled.

“So what do you think you should do? The stress of all this is getting to you, isn’t it?”

“I don’t know what to do. I was hoping you’d tell me.”

Marcy laughed. “I can’t do that. Besides, why would you want to take the advice of an old married woman?”

“You’re not old,” Sarah argued. “You’re only a little older than me. And I trust you. You’ve always given it to me straight.”

“You’re going to think this is stupid, but why don’t you make a pros and cons list?”

“It’s not stupid. In fact, it might be the most logical thing to do since my head is spinning. Well, on the one hand, I do like Dan. He’s a wonderful man, you know? Solid. The sex is good. Not great, but good. After the experiences I’ve had with sex since the attack, good is welcome. He treats me well. And Dan respects me. All that adds up to nice,” Sarah said, picking at a thread on her shirt.

“But I can’t forget Sebastian. He’s smart, and funny, and when his attention is focused on me, it’s as if I’m the only person in the world. And his body is freaking
unbelievable
. I want him so much, and every time we kiss or touch I could swear fireworks go off around us.”

After blowing out a frustrated breath, she continued. “Everything with him adds up to
way
more than nice, except for the cons. I see him everywhere I turn, which is already beyond awkward and would only get worse if we dated and then broke up for some reason. He’s so young, and let’s not forget, he’s forbidden fruit. Crap.”

Marcy chuckled, but when she spoke, her tone was serious. “I’d say nice isn’t a great endorsement. Besides, nice isn’t usually the word a man wants to be called. Know what I mean? Do you think you want to stay with Dan?”

Sarah voiced what she’d already known in her heart. “No.”

Strangely, finally admitting it to herself balanced her, yet left her guilty too. “It’s not fair to him. I’m too… I don’t know what I’m too of, but it’s not right to keep stringing him along if I’m not engaged in the relationship.”

“How do you plan to tell him it’s over?”

“E-mail?” Despite knowing there was no way she could do that, she was only half-joking. It would be a hell of a lot easier.

“You’re not going to break up with him over e-mail, are you? You’re not that kind of person.”

Sarah cringed at the note of disapproval in Marcy’s tone. “No, I’m not. But we’re leaving town for a four-day road trip after tonight’s game. I doubt I’ll have time to see him in person before that.”

“You could wait until you get back.”

“I’d rather get it out of the way and not have it hanging over my head the entire time we’re gone. I’ll think of something.”

Glancing at the clock, she saw she was running late yet again, and after saying a quick good-bye, she flew out of the house, bound for the arena.

She arrived just in time to take in Carolina’s morning skate. Their goaltender, JP Lafeberve, didn’t appear at all sharp. Concentrating on only him, she tried to figure out why. Finding things on goaltenders was one surefire way to help the team, since the goalie was so important in hockey.

While she watched the skate, Sarah forced herself to call Dan. She could duck out of the press box if need be. As much as she hated doing this to him she couldn’t wait until she came back from the road trip. The situation had to be resolved now.

Unfortunately, the call kicked over to voicemail.
He must be with a patient.
Sarah left a generic message and hung up, her heart in her throat. Dan so didn’t deserve to be treated like this.

She watched the rest of the skate, still trying to assess the problem with Lafeberve but coming up with nothing. Sighing, she decided to go back to her office and watch some video. Maybe it would provide her with the insight she was lacking.

Doug stuck his head into her office after a while. “Dan called. He said after he didn’t get a hold of you, he figured he would try me. I told him you were busy and would call him soon. Is everything okay?”

Sarah knew Dan had called. Her office phone had rung several times, showing his name on the caller ID. Since she was concentrating on Lafeberve, she’d decided to wait a little while to call him back. Truth be told, she was also beginning to lose her nerve.

“I called him earlier, so he’s just calling me back. I’m breaking up with him, and I think he knows something’s wrong.”

Doug was a huge gossip. Sebastian would find out about the breakup through him and she wouldn’t have to address it directly. Cowardly to be sure, but she did
not
want to have that conversation with him.

Doug sat and regarded her. “Can I ask why you’re ending it?”

“You can ask, but I’d rather not talk about it.”

“Ah, playing it close to the vest.” His expression sober, he asked, “Are you all right?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just not working out.” Changing the subject from her pathetic love life, she said, “Hey, I noticed Lafeberve was pretty shaky during the morning skate. Did you see anything?”

“No, but I wasn’t watching him so much as the forwards. What did you notice that makes you think something’s wrong?”

Sarah shrugged. “I have a hunch. It appears to center on his glove side. He let an awful lot of pucks through and grew more and more frustrated as the skate went on, even shattering a goal stick over the crossbar near the end. I wonder if he’s injured.”

Doug nodded. “Ah yes, I did see him break the stick, but I just figured he was yet another crazy goaltender.”

“I’ve been going through game tape, but another set of eyes would be great. Do you want to take a peek at some tape of his recent games to see if we can spot something a little more specific than just glove side? If not, I still think we should tell the guys about it. Don’t you agree?”