ShouldveKnownBetter (13 page)

“So, anything you’d like to tell me?”

Sarah laughed. Doug loved hearing juicy stuff. “I met a guy,” Sarah conceded, not sure how much she wanted to divulge. If she told Doug any details, it would become an instant source of gossip fodder.

“Oh yeah? Where?”

Sarah sighed. She really didn’t want to tell him she’d gone to speed dating. “I’d rather not talk about it yet. We just went on our first date last night. It’s no big deal.”

“A flower arrangement taller than I am says it’s a big deal.”

“When there’s something to say, I will. Until then, we’ve got a practice to watch.” With that, she rose and powered down her monitor. Replying to Dan’s e-mail would have to wait until she was free of Doug.

Over the next couple of weeks, Sarah continued to date Dan. She genuinely liked him. He was a stabilizing presence in her crazy life. He’d kissed her during their second date, and while fireworks hadn’t gone off like when Sebastian had kissed her, it was still very nice.

Before a practice in mid-November, after Sarah and Dan had been out several times, Doug wore her down and she relinquished some details. Before long, everyone on the team knew about Dan, including Sebastian, who shifted away from her when she arrived in the video room that same day, the tension emanating from the hard planes of his body in palpable waves.

Everyone else congratulated her and teased her about how Dan had better be a gentleman or else he’d hear it from them. All through the exchange, Sebastian stared at the wall, his jaw set in a tight line. When he finally met her gaze, Sarah barely held in a gasp at the storm brewing in his eyes.

She wasn’t sure if it was anger, disappointment, or something else in his gaze, but she felt bad for making him unhappy. That had never been her intention, but she should’ve realized how he would react to the news she was dating someone else. In the back of her mind, she
had
been aware him finding out might be unpleasant scene, but she’d blocked it out. Sebastian needed to accept it and move on. This was the better way, the safer thing for her to do.

****

As Sarah left the bench after practice, Sebastian skated over. He had to know what was going on with her and that other guy before it killed him. When he’d found out about it yesterday he’d been determined not to make a big deal, but then all night, the image of someone who wasn’t him kissing and touching Sarah had nearly drove him around the bend. “Can I come see you? I’ve got a couple things I want to run by you.”

She frowned as if she wasn’t sure of his motives.
Smart girl.
“Of course. I’ll be in my office whenever you’re ready.”

As soon as he showered and dressed, he went to see Sarah, closing the door after entering. Her eyebrows shot up as he sat then leaned forward. “So you’re seeing someone, eh?”

“Yes, but what does it matter to you?”

He knew damn well his tone was confrontational and wasn’t surprised Sarah had leapt to her own defense, but how could she even ask that question and not expect him to be angry? It irritated him that she continued to deny there was something between them. He stared at her for a moment, letting her squirm a little, hoping she’d feel guilty about the flippant way she was treating him. “So who is he? What does he do?”

“His name is Dan, and he’s a chiropractor. What’s with all the questions?”

“I just want to make sure he’s treating you right,” Sebastian hedged, not meeting her gaze.

“He’s treating me well, and even if he wasn’t, I can handle my own relationship just fine. Was there something hockey-related you needed?”

“No.” He rose then headed for the door, pivoting as he reached it. “I got all the information I needed.”

Stalking away, he went to find Rob. It was early afternoon, but he needed a beer. The only thing good about this situation was how Sarah had reacted. If she’d felt nothing toward him, she wouldn’t have had a problem telling him about the guy. The fact she’d bitten his head off meant she wasn’t immune, no matter what she wanted him to think.

Rob agreed to go to lunch at a local tavern. Once they’d been seated and had placed their order, Rob stretched out in the vinyl-upholstered booth. “So let me guess. Drinking in the middle of the day. You’re upset Sarah’s dating someone?”

Sebastian grabbed a cocktail napkin and systematically shredded it, not meeting his friend’s all-too-knowing gaze. “I know I have no right to be, but I can’t help it.”

“Maybe now you’ll find someone too.”

Tossing the remaining pieces of napkin on the table, Sebastian said, “I don’t want someone else. I want her.”

“I know, but you can’t have her. We’ve been over this.”

“And not once have you given me a reason strong enough to forget about her,” Sebastian pointed out.

“So the fact she works for the team isn’t enough of a reason for you?”

“No. I still think as long as we kept things quiet, it wouldn’t be a big deal.”

“And I think you’re wrong, but whatever.” Rob shifted in his seat. “Hey, I forgot to tell you. Your mom called. She’s sending another care package. Man, I love that woman. If I didn’t like your dad so much, I’d try to steal her away from him.”

Sebastian made a face. “That’s my mother you’re talking about.”

“Hey, I just want her for her cookies.” Rob grinned and rubbed his belly.

“Figures. Use them and leave them, right?” Maybe that’s what he should do—find a woman to have some fun with.

“Damn right. Hey, if everybody knows the score no one gets hurt.”

“Whatever you say, bud. Just don’t talk about my mom like that. Freaks me out.” Would Sarah be jealous if he started dating someone? For his part, he was jealous as hell of this Dan guy.

****

As Sarah got ready for another date with Dan, she reasoned that after several dates he’d be expecting to sleep with her. It wasn’t that she didn’t want him. She did. He was a nice man, good-looking. There wasn’t much not to like about him. The attraction wasn’t the all-consuming ferocity with which she wanted Sebastian, but there was no help for that.

One night soon after the realization, Dan took her to dinner and a movie. When he dropped her off she invited him inside. Not surprisingly, Dan was an attentive, gentle lover. The sex was good, but there was no spark and it was hard to keep her mind engaged on Dan and not on Sebastian, who she saw every time she closed her eyes while she and Dan made love. She should have felt bad about that, but overall, she was just happy she’d been able to go through with it without freaking out, as had happened at other times.

When Scott, the new owner of the Storm, issued an invitation to a Thanksgiving dinner at his waterfront townhouse, Sarah texted Dan to see if he was available. Given their relationship, it was natural that she’d invite him. Besides, she’d be damned if she’d go alone and give Sebastian the impression she was pining for him, even if he was never far from her thoughts, even when she was with Dan.

After practice on the day of the party, Sarah showered and dressed. She checked the time and was surprised to see Dan should be arriving at any moment. With one final appraisal, she nodded in satisfaction and left her bedroom. Sebastian’s favorite color was blue and she’d tried to tell herself that had had nothing to do with her choice of a dress in deep sapphire, but that was a lie.

Shortly after she’d gotten downstairs, Dan rang the doorbell and she opened the door.

“Wow.” Leaning forward, he gave her a quick kiss.

“You’re not looking too shabby yourself,” she remarked, appraising his navy tuxedo. How Sebastian might fill out a tuxedo flitted through her mind and she ruthlessly tamped down the image. She was going to the party with Dan and she needed to keep her focus on him.

When she saw Tasha lounging on her wrap, spreading beige cat hair on the black silk Pashmina, she shooed her away. “Let’s go. I’m starving.”

They arrived at Scott’s house on the harbor near downtown and were shown into the large living room decorated for the occasion with dozens and dozens of blooms in large vases all around the perimeter. There were also swags in fall colors draped artfully over the fireplace and windows. Waiters were passing hors d’oeuvres.

Sarah wasn’t surprised. Scott wasn’t exactly a shrinking violet. He didn’t openly flaunt his money, but he didn’t attempt to hide it either. Buying the Storm was a lark for him, a hobby to keep himself entertained. Nonetheless, Sarah was grateful since he willingly opened the pocketbook when the need arose.

While Dan went to the bar to get them a drink, Sarah chatted with Nikolai and his girlfriend, Natalia. Dan returned and handed her a cosmopolitan. She took a sip and relaxed as the fruity concoction rolled over her tongue.

She introduced Dan. At one point while he spoke to Nikolai and Natalia, the hairs on the back of Sarah’s neck stood on end. She casually shifted until she could see behind her. Rob and Sebastian stood just inside the door. Where Sebastian was concerned, she seemed to have developed a sixth sense of his location. Rob was in conversation with one of the equipment guys, but Sebastian was staring right at her.

His gaze shifted briefly to Dan before he returned it to her, slowly sweeping down her body then back up to her face. Sarah deliberately put her back to him and focused on the conversation around her. She couldn’t handle dealing with him tonight. He’d played far too prominent a role in her thoughts for weeks now and it wasn’t fair to Dan.

After the delicious but uneventful dinner, during which Sarah was thankfully seated at the opposite end of a large table from Sebastian, a bunch of the players decided to go to SoHo, a bar in the entertainment district. As they all piled into cars, Sarah asked Dan, who’d obviously been having a good time laughing and joking with the guys all through dinner and dessert, “Do you want to go?”

The side of her that appeared to enjoy torturing herself was all for the outing, but perhaps Dan’s practicality would win and she wouldn’t have to make that decision.

“Sure. This is fun. Plus, I told Rick I was a pretty good dart thrower at one time and he wants to challenge me.”

She was stuck. “Well then, we’d better go.”

They arrived at the bar, and to her dismay, Sebastian had come as well.

Get your mind away from him and focus on Dan.

She glanced at Dan’s profile as they went to the dart boards. He was a handsome and good man. Why couldn’t she just be happy with him?

Rick was already practicing when they got there, and Sarah took Dan aside. “You realize how competitive these guys are, right? They’re professional athletes who hate losing, and they always bet money on stuff like this. Hell, they bet on everything and anything. They make millions and can afford to gamble on stupid stuff. If you feel uncomfortable, we’ll leave. Okay?”

Dan grinned. “I’m pretty competitive too, and I have a few nickels to rub together myself. I’ll be fine. You just sit and watch. You can be my good luck charm.” He gave her a quick kiss, and she settled on a bar stool facing away from Sebastian.

After watching the dart match and subsequent re-match, Sarah realized she’d been swirling the ice around in her otherwise empty drink glass for a while now and decided to get herself another. She was sure Dan would’ve gotten it for her, but he was reveling in the attention of the players. In fact, he’d only glanced at her once or twice since the match had begun.

Sarah pushed off the stool and made her way through the crowd that had assembled when word spread a bunch of the players were hanging out at SoHo. It was silly to be jealous of the guys, but she didn’t like being ignored. What woman did?

One of the things she’d liked about Dan in the beginning was how he had been unimpressed by her job, but watching him now, that didn’t seem to be the case. It shouldn’t have surprised her. After all, everybody wanted to brush elbows with the Storm players. Despite that, it still irked her. He was supposed to be here with her and it wouldn’t kill him to pay her a modicum of attention.

As she waited for the bartender to notice her, the jukebox started. The first strains of “November Rain” by Guns N’ Roses played, and Sarah smiled. It was one of her favorite songs. But as she listened, the smile faded. The words hit home.

The entire song centered around two people wrestling with admitting they were in love. Sarah could relate, though she wouldn’t go so far as to say she was in love with Sebastian.
Obsessed, yes. Drowning in lust, definitely. But not in love.

She shuddered to think of things getting that far out of control. She glanced up to find Sebastian staring at her, his expression haunted. With a swift inhalation, she lowered her eyes to the bar, shaking her head.
Forget about him.

The song continued to play, and, unable to ignore him, she raised her eyes again. Their gazes locked and she couldn’t look away. The tension flowing between them was tangible. He mesmerized her.

Sarah chewed on her nail as she tried desperately to focus her mind on something else, anything else. She ran her tongue over her parched lips and took another deep breath, willing herself to stay calm. Sebastian’s gaze fell to her lips like a silky wet caress.

The song continued. When the next verse talked about laying everything on the line for love, the world pressed in on her. She couldn’t breathe. Her chest seized, and she bolted for the back door.

Once outside, she shivered, whether from the cold or the tumult of emotions she battled, she had no idea. She wrapped her arms around herself. When the door opened behind her, she jumped, startled. Sarah half wanted it to be Sebastian and half not. Whirling, she saw him heading in her direction.

Without a word, he took off his tuxedo jacket and put it around her shoulders. Her body greedily absorbed the heat and she said a quick thanks for his thoughtfulness even as he stepped away.

He narrowed his eyes. “
Mon Dieu
, Sarah. What are you doing?”

“Nothing. Go back inside. You shouldn’t be out here.” Sarah refused to make eye contact, afraid it would destroy what little reserves she had. But when Sebastian didn’t respond, against her better judgment, she looked up.