Should've Said No (25 page)

Carden nodded. “Unless you count my heart.”

She winced. “Mine’s not in the best shape either. Oscar told me that Stella put you up to influencing me to represent your family favorably in the museum. Did that include hanging around the cabin, taking me on dates, getting me into bed? I wasn’t the only one with a secret, was I?”

Carden set his jaw. He owed her the same respect she’d given him, so he didn’t deny it. “I never expected things to happen the way they did. Everything I did and said was sincere. It became all about you, Lindsey. Not the museum.”

She got that glistening, teary look in her eyes—the one that slayed him every time. “Then I guess that’s it, then. We both got what we never expected.”

Before he could think of what to say next, Lindsey turned away from him, opened the door, and walked out of his life.

Chapter 24

Numb and disheartened after what had happened with Carden, Lindsey poured herself into work, eager to prove that she wasn’t on the side of the Karlssons or the Crenshaws, despite what anyone suspected. Both sides had tried to influence her, and both sides had done their damage—with her in a willing, supporting role. She took full responsibility for allowing her great-aunt and -uncle to sway her, and for being susceptible to Carden’s come-ons. Lindsey had no idea when she’d be ready to date again—if ever. But from now on, publicized eligible bachelors were strictly off limits.

It had been a month since everything had blown up with Carden and they’d gone their separate ways, busy with their own responsibilities. If there was a bright side to all of this, it was that the news of what had happened between them hadn’t made it to the Thistle Bend grapevine. Aunt Tansy and Uncle Oscar had found out about it, and Stella surely knew since she’d instigated it in the first place. Jeez, Lindsey and Carden had even been on TV—kissing. But no one mentioned it. Lindsey had yet to hear a whisper about it, or catch anyone looking at her askance.

Holly had asked a couple of teasing questions about Lindsey and Carden, but she seemed to have given up lately. Her lawyer instincts must have told her there was no new evidence to be found—and never would be. Lindsey wished she could confide in Holly, but the fewer people who knew what had happened, the better. Talking to Becca about it might be the only thing that had kept her sane through it all.

As for Lindsey being related to the Karlssons, that had stayed quiet, too. Maybe the Karlssons didn’t want to admit she’d defected from their camp, and the Crenshaws didn’t want people to know they’d been duped. That was a stalemate Lindsey could live with until she found her way back to D.C.

There’d been no word from Carden. No calls or texts or visits. Lindsey hadn’t expected there to be, and she didn’t intend to contact him either. There was nothing else to say, and seeing him would only set her back in her painful quest to get over him.

The relationship between her and Carden had seemingly ceased to exist. Were it not for a lapis bracelet, a dried long-stem yellow rose, and her broken heart, Lindsey would wonder if she’d imagined their whirlwind romance.

At least things were moving along with the museum. Its success would be her ticket out of Thistle Bend, so investing all of her time in getting it right seemed the least that she could do.

Those August freezes Milly and Merri mentioned had become a reality, and Lindsey had taken to closing the windows in the cabin earlier. Expecting a freeze that night, she started with the windows by the front door, and went around and closed each one. Her heart tumbled every time she caught the scent of vanilla from the wax she and Carden had used on the sash channels.

Finishing in the bedroom, she turned down her sheets and set Ruby Eileen atop the pillow next to hers. Lindsey would have to give up the teddy bear when it came time to put her in an exhibit. But for now, she enjoyed the company.

As much as Carden had hurt Lindsey, Ruby Eileen reminded her of a time when she’d been happy. When Carden had taken her to the lapis mine and showed her the photo of the real Ruby Eileen. Lindsey had delegated Darlene to work with Carden to get the picture copied and enlarged for the museum. Lindsey just couldn’t do it. The same would happen when it came time to install the model town and railroad.

In spite of herself, Lindsey had picked up the latest copy of
Colorado Living
magazine, and she settled in bed to read the feature they’d published on Carden. She flipped through the glossy pages. Within moments, a picture of Carden stared back at her, as if he were right there. Her heart stammered at the sight of him. His dark-shadowed scruffy face. His piercing blue eyes. His full lips that she’d kissed so many times.

But not enough.

She read the article, learning more about The Crenshaw Family Trust and the land the family was designating as a nature preserve. He’d also answered questions about the ranch, and his reputation as a handyman in town. Her breath caught as she scanned one of the final interview questions.

You were selected by another popular magazine as one of Colorado’s most eligible bachelors. How has that changed your social life?

Unlike his answers to most of the other questions, he’d limited this one to a short paragraph.

I was flattered by the designation, but my social life has remained much the same. I stay really busy. There’s not a lot of time for dating. But I was recently the best man in my little brother’s wedding. Seeing the love between him and his bride has got me rethinking this bachelor thing. I’d like someone special to share my life with.

Lindsey’s throat thickened with emotion. It wouldn’t change things now, but maybe Carden had meant what he said.

It became all about you, Lindsey. Not the museum.

She picked up her phone from the nightstand and tapped her way to the text he’d sent her from the wedding, with the picture of him in a tux.

What’s missing?

She scrolled down.

You’re missing. Wish you were here.

It had taken her this long to even be able to look at his texts again, and she was sorry she had done it. Tears welled in her eyes and trickled down her cheeks. She grabbed a tissue from the box on the bedside table and blotted her tears. Why had she kept his picture and texts on her phone? Dwelling on memories like that would only make the pain last longer. Hovering her finger over the delete button, she inhaled deeply and pressed it. She put her phone aside, closed the magazine, and set it on the bedside table. In the morning, she’d put it in the recycle bin.

Lindsey turned off the light and lay down, feeling lonely and alone. She’d been spoiled by the night in Denver she’d spent sleeping next to Carden. Spoiled by waking up next to him. Her bed had seemed empty ever since, her heart even emptier.

As silly as it was, she reached for Ruby Eileen and hugged her close, the teddy bear’s fur soft and silky. But something hard and smooth pressed into the tender skin of Lindsey’s inner arm. She ran her fingers down the back of the teddy bear, feeling the protrusions at intervals.

Buttons?

Lindsey turned on the light and examined the teddy bear’s back, finding a long, neat row of buttons smartly camouflaged by fur. She unbuttoned them carefully, aware that she was dealing with a delicate antique. The open buttons revealed a compartment lined with the same ivory watered taffeta that had been used to fashion the pads of the bear’s paws.

Lindsey’s heart beat twice for every second. She reached into the compartment and carefully pulled out a yellowed envelope. With shaky fingers, she opened the unsealed flap, removed the papers inside, and spread them on her bed.

—

Carden sat at the bar at the High Country Pub with Travis, working to make his beer last. It had been harder to stick to his one-beer rule since everything had gone to hell with Lindsey, but he forced himself to comply. Just because he’d lost control in one aspect of his life didn’t give him permission to loosen the reins in another.

The neon lights of beer signs glowed, and footsteps clattered on the wide-plank floor. Chatter and occasional laughter echoed from the exposed-beam ceiling, the atmosphere lively. He usually enjoyed the country music playing on the jukebox, or tuned it out if he didn’t. But damn if Craig Morgan wasn’t channeling Carden right now, singing “Wake Up Lovin’ You,” about losing his girl and having one hell of a time getting over it. Poor guy sounded like he’d gotten his heart ripped out. Carden could relate.

“I hate this song,” he said.

Travis drew his head back. “No way. Dude’s pouring his heart out, and he’s got one hell of a voice. Em loves the part where his breath hitches like he’s about to lose it ’cause he loves that girl so much. Says it gets her every time.”

“She’s a perfect match for you, brother.” Carden raised his beer bottle. “Two hopeless romantics.” It took work to keep the envy out of his voice.

Travis clinked his bottle against Carden’s. “You just wait. Some girl’s gonna come along someday and send your heart spinning. You’ll be hopeless, too.”

She already did.

And more than a month after his relationship with Lindsey had ended, his heart was still spinning—and aching and wanting as he wondered what might have been. If he’d thought once about what had gone wrong, he’d thought about it a thousand times. Granted, Stella had asked him to influence Lindsey to favor the Crenshaws in the museum, and he’d committed himself to doing it. But he couldn’t have been more honest when he’d told Lindsey that everything became all about her. His mistake—among others—was leaving out the word “immediately.” She’d had him from the second she stepped into Dean’s cabin, bright like the sun after months of rain.

Are you Dean?

He could still hear the sass in her voice. How different might things have been if she’d let everyone know right away that she was a distant relative of the Karlssons? There probably would’ve been a little firestorm, but it would’ve calmed down—especially considering her professional credentials. It wasn’t as if the development of Thistle Bend’s entire museum hinged on the details of that long-ago land deal. But no one would dare say that to Gran—or Oscar and Tansy Karlsson.

Carden could mull it over a thousand more times, but he’d still end up with the same conclusions. His relationship with Lindsey had been doomed from the start. If only he’d realized that before he’d fallen so hard.

“Gran bought about fifteen copies of
Colorado Living
magazine,” Travis said. “She’s got the article up on her refrigerator—each page under a magnet and your big ol’ face staring at her every time she wants a glass of milk.”

Carden shook his head, remembering how excited he’d been the week he’d done that interview, just days before he and Lindsey had gone to Denver and he’d slept with her in his arms. He hadn’t slept a full night since.

“It’s a good article,” Travis said. “They even managed to get a couple decent pictures of you.”

Carden shrugged, and grinned—rare for him these days. “Tough job.”

“Em was thrilled when she read the part about our wedding.” Travis raised his chin proudly. “And the part about you wanting to find someone special. She wants you to meet her friend who’s a nurse at the hospital over in Gunnison.” He nudged Carden’s elbow. “Every guy’s got a nurse fantasy, don’t they?”

“Tell her thanks, but no thanks.” Carden struggled to keep his tone light. Hell if he wanted to meet another girl, regardless of his fantasies. How could anyone measure up to Lindsey? “I had a romance hangover from your wedding when I said that.”

Travis furrowed his brow. “Just think about it. Let me know if you change your mind.”

Carden nodded and took the last slug of his beer. Blake Shelton had come on the jukebox, singing “Mine Would Be You”—another sad song about a guy who had the girl of his dreams and let her get away. Had someone programmed misery into that damn jukebox tonight?

He clanked his beer bottle on the bar, stood, and gripped Travis’s shoulder. “I gotta go.”

The heels of his boots hammered the plank floor as he strode out of the pub. He got in his pickup, started the engine, shifted into gear, and headed back to the ranch.

Carden swore he was going to be strong tonight and take the straight route out of town. But at the last second, he whipped the wheel to the right and took the detour he’d taken nearly every night for over a month. A few blocks later, he approached Lindsey’s cabin and drove slowly past. The Lemon Cream paint practically glowed under the full moon, and dim light glimmered in the windows.

Every night, he was tempted to stop, to see if they could piece together everything that had fallen apart. But just like all the other nights, he kept driving.

Chapter 25

Lindsey sat with Milly and Merri at the table in the cozy alcove in their parlor. When she’d called to ask to visit, Merri had insisted on serving tea. Sun streamed into the window, highlighting the hodgepodge china settings and the silver serving trays.

A vase of yellow roses brightened the table—a hostess gift from Lindsey. They tugged at her heart, yet somehow made her happy.

The little old ladies had gotten fancy for the occasion. Merri wore a pink dress that matched her lips, and Milly looked lovely in green, several tendrils of silver hair framing her face. Their patent leather shoes were shined to a sparkle.

Ruby Eileen sat on the table, just as she had before. But this time, Lindsey held the teddy bear’s secrets in an envelope on her lap.

“I understand now why Ruby Eileen was such an important donation to the museum,” Lindsey said after a bit of small talk about tinctures and tonics. “I’ve found some information I think you might be familiar with, and I have some questions.”

Milly and Merri’s eyes glimmered.

Lindsey lifted the envelope from her lap and removed the papers inside. “I’ve cobbled together a story from these documents and letters, and I wonder if I’ve got it right.”

The sisters looked at her encouragingly.

“Let’s see,” Lindsey began. “Young and beautiful Ruby Eileen Crenshaw was a nurse for Brooks Karlsson’s wife, who was very ill the first winter the Karlssons settled in Thistle Bend. During the short days and long nights, Brooks and Ruby Eileen…” Lindsey hesitated, thinking of how to put it delicately. “Developed a relationship.”