Should've Said No (20 page)

“I’ll get one of the guys to do it, and let you know when he’ll be there.”

“I might be able to find another handyman project or two if you want to stop by when you get back.” She gave him a flirty grin.

“Start another list,” he teased, remembering the night they’d met. He’d been smitten with her from the get-go.

Carden nestled close to her, still unable to believe what she’d told him today about her son-of-a-bitch ex-boyfriend. The guy was some kind of fool, for sure. Girls like Lindsey were as rare as red diamonds. Anyone who found one had best hold on to her and treat her right.

“I’m sorry that guy in D.C. hurt you.” He wished he could take away her heartache, because he knew too well what it felt like.

She rested her head on his shoulder. “As awful as it was, it was for the best. I mean, you don’t forget something like that, but hopefully you learn from it.”

“You do. But that lesson can be costly.”

“Sounds like the voice of experience talking,” she said.

Despite the calm atmosphere, his pulse picked up pace. He was determined to prove to her that he wasn’t like her ex. That’d take actions more than words, but telling her about Amanda was the place he had to start.

“I’ve been there.” His gut clenched at the thought of saying more. Only he and Gran knew what had happened with Amanda. Telling Lindsey was one of the biggest risks of his life.

She turned her body toward his, smoothed her fingers down his arm, and clutched his hand. “Oh no,” she said, conveying so much in two words. Her tone was soothing and sad, as if she was truly sorry for his pain.

Carden’s heart warmed at the depth and sincerity of her reaction. Maybe he
could
trust her with his story. He took a slug of his beer and nodded. “When I was in college, my folks leased out their ranch land here and moved to Denver part time. After graduation, I decided to come back here. The only thing I ever wanted was to run a cattle ranch of my own in Thistle Bend. I stood to inherit a sweet parcel of land but I had to wait until I was thirty to get it unless my grandfather deeded it to me early. I’d lived and worked on my family’s ranches all my life, but Pops wanted me to prove I knew what I was doing before he set me out on my own. So I lived with my grandparents, and worked my butt off to earn my ranch early.” He caught himself getting lost in the details. Those were easier to talk about.

“There was a couple who had come here from Arizona who worked for my grandparents. He was a ranch hand, and she cooked. Their daughter, Amanda, helped with housekeeping.” He pressed his lips together tightly, unable to remember the last time he’d said Amanda’s name out loud. “They lived in one of the workers’ cabins on the ranch.”

A log popped in the fire, sending sparks shooting into the air. Lindsey flinched, and settled in closer.

“I fell hard for Amanda,’ Carden said. “The girl had me spellbound, and I wanted everyone to know she was mine. But she convinced me to keep our relationship secret. Claimed her parents were awful strict. My interactions with them gave me no reason to doubt her.” He figured it was best to simplify the story. No sense detailing how captivated he’d been, how crazy in love and committed. “The two of us were practically kids. Neither of us had our own place. It was tough finding ways to be alone together, but we snuck out at night. Met in the barn.

“That went on for months.” He took another swallow of beer, preparing to deliver the payoff. “One weekend my grandparents went out of town. Amanda begged to meet me in the house instead of the barn.” He remembered the thrill of having her in his bed, how he’d let himself go, not knowing…

And told her that I loved her.

He tightened his grip on his beer bottle. “So she came to the house and we…were together. Afterward, I fell asleep.”

Lindsey squeezed his hand.

“When I woke up a couple hours later, she was gone. And so were a hell of a lot of my grandparents’ valuables.”

Lindsey drew in a sharp breath. “No way.”

He nodded. “Jewelry. Guns. Coins. All kinds of stuff. I had no idea until my grandparents got back and found things missing.” He could still remember how wildly his heart had been beating when he admitted to his grandparents what he’d done. “Amanda and her parents had disappeared, too.”

Lindsey sat up and turned her head to face him, looking beautiful in the firelight despite her pinched expression. “Oh my God. That’s awful.”

He nodded slowly. “Enough to teach me lessons that are hard to forget.”

Don’t lose control.

Don’t fall in love.

“My grandparents taught me a couple lessons, too,” he said. “About forgiveness, and discretion. My grandfather went to his grave with that story. As hard as it is to believe, my grandmother will, too.”

Lindsey sat silently for a moment. “Does anyone else know?”

He released her hand and brushed a lock of hair away from her face. “Just you.”

Her awestruck look told him that she understood the significance of him confiding in her. She reached out and gently pressed her hand over his heart. “I’ll keep it between you and me.”

Carden covered her hand with his, feeling an honest connection that he’d longed for but hadn’t allowed himself to make.

“Did you ever find Amanda and her family?” Lindsey asked.

He shook his head. “Never even tried. We figured they’d pulled that stunt time after time. My grandparents decided that Amanda and her folks needed the money they’d get from selling what they’d stolen more than the Crenshaws did.” He drank the last of his beer and set his bottle on the table next to the chaise. “Hell, I don’t even know if Amanda was really her name.”

“I’m sorry,” Lindsey said softly and remained quiet for a while. “Has there been anyone since?”

The fire popped and sizzled, flames flickering.

“No one like you.”

He took her beer bottle and set it on the table with his. Drawing her close, he kissed her softly, his fingers entwined in her hair. She matched the easy rhythm of his tongue, her hand still pressed against his thrumming heart. In this perfect moment, he allowed himself to imagine that he could finally leave his past behind.

Carden trailed kisses up to her ear and whispered huskily, “I want you, Lindsey.” He pulled back and met her gaze. “You have no idea how much.”

She stayed silent for a long moment, shimmering fire reflecting in her eyes. “Show me.”

It might be too soon, but he couldn’t wait any longer to experience all of her. He lifted her hand away from his heart and kissed it. “Let’s go inside.”

Holding her hand, he led her to his bedroom, dimly lit by the glow of a pair of Craftsman-style wall sconces that flanked the bed. The expansive space, the vaulted ceilings with exposed beams, the California-king-sized bed—it usually felt so empty. But Lindsey warmed the room, filled it with possibility.

Henrietta had turned down the sheets and fluffed the pillows before she’d left, making the bed look even more inviting. Lindsey stepped over and smoothed her fingers across a section of the massive cedar headboard. Its natural grain was Carden’s kind of art.

“This is beautiful,” she said. “I smell the cedar.”

He joined her, wrapping her in his arms. “Not nearly as beautiful as you.”

Lindsey looked away shyly. “You’re just trying to get me in bed.”

Carden laughed. “Busted.” His laughter gave way to seriousness. “But you are beautiful.” Pulling away, he took a step back and swept her hair behind her shoulders, the blond strands silky against his hands. He rested his fingertips on her collarbone, traced them down in a V, and began unbuttoning her blouse. It took all his discipline to go slow and not kiss her. He wanted to see every bit of her revealed, not miss a moment.

The fabric of her blouse parted and a light green lace bra peeked from beneath it. His cock stiffened at the sight of it, getting harder still when he peeled her blouse away and tossed it on a nearby chair, leaving Lindsey standing there in her lace bra and blue jeans.

So damn sexy.

Again she gave him that shy look, which slayed him even more now that she was half-naked. She reached for the top button of his shirt and he gently caught her wrists and brought them back to her sides. “You’ll get your turn, darlin’.” He stepped closer and nuzzled her neck. “Right now it’s mine.”

Heat rose from beneath his collar, and he wanted to take his shirt off, but not badly enough to rush this. There would only be one first time with Lindsey, and he planned to savor every second of it.

He brushed his fingers down her smooth, flat abdomen, hooking one behind the button of her jeans and pulling her in for a kiss. He cupped her head with his hand, her hair tangled between his fingers as he kissed her, his breath coming faster. She responded to every stroke of his tongue, giving back, urging him to give her more. But he couldn’t let himself lose control…yet.

He drew away from their kiss and pressed his forehead to hers. With a flip of his fingers, he unbuttoned her jeans, and pulled down the zipper, one seductive tick at a time. His heart hammered, the beats of it echoing in his cock. “Help me take them off.”

She slowly shimmied out of them. “Mmm,” he murmured at the sight of the tiny lace panties that matched her bra, and her long, slender legs. Leaving her jeans on the floor, she stepped closer and met his gaze. “My turn?”

He nodded once, unable to tear his gaze away from her.

Lindsey unbuttoned his shirt and he quickly tossed it on the chair with her blouse. She tugged at the hem of his T-shirt, slipping her hands beneath it and lifting it up to his pecs. “Help me,” she said breathily, and kissed his pec.

Carden flexed beneath the brush of her lips. He pulled his T-shirt over his head and threw it somewhere near her jeans. His discipline slipped with every piece of clothing they shed.

He followed her intense gaze as it swept over his body and settled on his tattoo. She reached up and traced her fingers over it, all the way from his shoulder down to his elbow. “I love this.” With her lips slightly parted, she skimmed her hands over his pecs and down his abs, just like she’d done in the workshop. But this time they didn’t have to stop. This time there’d be no interruptions.

He backed her up to the bed and she sat, working at the button of his jeans. Stepping away, he unbuttoned and unzipped them himself, desperate to relieve the pressure. He pulled them off and left them lying with hers.

Lindsey reached for the band of his boxer briefs, his erection straining against them. She pushed them down his thighs, and his rigid length sprang free. The boxer briefs fell to his feet, and he stepped out of them—naked for her. She languidly swept her gaze over his body, her lips turned up at the corners.

“You’re amazing,” she whispered. She smoothed her fingers up his thighs, wrapped her delicate hands tightly around his cock and took him in her mouth. He tensed and pitched his head back, the sweet sensation pushing a low moan from his throat. Tangling his hands in her hair, he savored every stroke until he had to give in or break free.

“God, Lindsey,” he said, reluctantly pulling back.

He moved to her side and unhooked her bra, sliding his hands beneath the straps and guiding them off of her shoulders. She dropped it on the floor and leaned back for him, back arched, her breasts round and high and natural. Carden’s cock jumped as he cupped them in his hands, caressing her pink nipples with his thumbs.

Lindsey’s breath hitched, and she tipped her head back, eyes closed.

Carden had to get his body against to hers—his desire to get inside her all-consuming. He slipped one of his arms behind her back, the other beneath her knees, and lifted her onto the bed. Her golden hair splayed out across the dark pillowcase. She looked radiant lying there, where he’d imagined her so many times.

Taking a foil packet from the drawer of the nightstand, he got on the bed and kneeled next to her, running his hands up her thighs and beneath the lacy bands of her panties. He slid the lace down her long, smooth legs, and took them off. His breath caught as he drank in the sight of her, sexier than he’d even dared think.

“You’re perfect,” he said as he moved between her legs. She hesitantly parted them and that nearly undid him. Starting with one tight, pink nipple, he kissed his way from her breasts down along her flat abdomen. He didn’t stop until his mouth was on her, tasting her sweetness, parting her velvety folds and pleasing her with his tongue.

She tensed, whimpering as she brushed her fingers through his hair, clutching his head and pressing her hips higher. All he wanted was to give her more—to give her all of him.

“Carden,” she said breathlessly, triggering the intensity of his desire.

He couldn’t wait any longer. Kissing her inner thighs, he sat up, and quickly rolled on the condom. Sliding his body up and onto hers, he brought one of her arms next to her head and clutched her hand. With her sultry gaze set on his, he guided his throbbing cock, teasing her with its tip until she closed her eyes and gasped, “Please.”

Carden paused then slid inside her slowly. Slick and tight. Even better than his fantasies of her. He moaned and clutched her other hand next to her head, wanting to see it all, to remember every detail of this moment. He pulled out as slowly as he’d entered, and continued lulling her with a sensuous rhythm as she held his gaze, her breath coming faster.

“You feel so good,” she said.

Breaking the rhythm, he pulled back, quickly plunged his cock deep inside her, and held it there.

Lindsey gasped, bucking her hips, urging him to thrust. “More…”

Carden couldn’t hold out any longer. He gave up, gave in, let go. “Like this?” He pulled out and hammered into her over and over, taking her with abandon.

“Yes,” she cried.

His mouth came down on hers hungrily and he kissed her with all the heat of his pent-up passion. Releasing her hands, he gathered her to him, her breasts straining against his pecs.

Lindsey wrapped her legs around him and met his thrusts, her sexy whimpers pushing him closer to release.

“Come on, baby,” he whispered, giving her all he had.