Shock Advised (Kilgore Fire #1) (7 page)

“I’m serious. I think that you hurt him more than you realize when you froze him out like that. And he’s a nice guy. Give him a chance. Talk to him. Apologize…and live your life,” she said softly.

I thought about my mother’s words over the next two hours, thinking about how I’d shut him out.

Had I hurt him?

Yes, I think I did.

Could I have helped it?

No, probably not.

But should I apologize?

Yes. I definitely should.

As soon as he walked in.

Except two hours came and went, and I was drooping by the minute once seven o’clock came around.

“Go home, baby. Maybe he’s held up at work,” she said softly.

I turned to smile at my mom.

She’d fallen asleep hours earlier, and I’d tried to do the same, but my nerves and excitement kept me awake.

“Alright, mom. Do you want me to bring anything particular to you in the morning when I come back up here?” I asked.

She pursed her lips. “You could bring one of my machines…”

“No. I’m not bringing that up here. I meant more along the lines of clothes, shoes, deodorant, or shampoo,” I said laughingly.

She snorted.

“Clothes. Deodorant. Shampoo and conditioner,” she listed.

I nodded and stood, going over to the bed to wrap my arms around her neck.

“Take care of yourself while I’m gone and call me the moment you know anything, okay?” I asked.

She nodded.

“Bye mom, love you.”

“I love you, too. Be careful,” she ordered.

I gave her a thumb’s up, grabbed my bag that Masen had been kind enough to drop by on her way out of work, and slipped out the door, closing it softly behind me.

I’d made it out the door, and nearly to the ambulance entrance when the man that was supposed to pick me up three hours ago, came through the door looking ragged.

I stopped and moved to the side, allowing him to come through with his patient.

He was at a near run and didn’t stop to say hi as he ran for the side entrance into the ER.

Not that I expected him to.

I walked out the door and stopped at the sidewalk, waiting for the shuttle to take me to the parking lot where I’d left my car before work.

The hospital was expanding, meaning that there was tons of equipment and supplies in the parking lot where all the employees used to park.

Now the employees had to park a nearly five-minute shuttle ride away, which meant I had a bit of wait, giving Tai enough time to come back outside to his rig and see me.

“Hey!” He called.

I turned and looked at him.

“Yeah?” I asked.

“Get in,” he said.

I blinked, looking over at the ambulance, then back at him.

“No.”

He sighed and started toward me.

I waved at PD, who had a small smile on his face.

He waved back and got into the front of the ambulance.

“It wasn’t a question. It was a demand. Let’s go,” he said once he reached me.

I laughed at him.

“You’re not my daddy, Tai,” I said to him.

He snorted.

“Let’s fuckin’ hope not. Now let’s go.”

This time he took my arm, and I had to stand up since his grip was relentless.

He wasn’t hurting me, but he had enough power in his grip to do so if he really wanted to.

I dragged my feet as he pulled me in the direction of the ambulance.

“I’ve never been in an ambulance before,” I admitted, looking at the huge boxy vehicle warily.

“Cool. I’ll make sure your first time’s good for you,” he teased.

I swallowed my tongue.

He laughed at my expression and opened the passenger side door.

“Get in the middle,” he ordered.

“There’s not a seat in the middle,” I said dumbly.

“There isn’t. But you can sit directly behind my seat in the back,” he said, pointing to the opening to the back.

I did as I was told, patting PD on the shoulder as I passed.

“Nice ass,” he said.

I glared at him once I took my seat.

“A gentleman wouldn’t look at a woman when she was in that position,” I admonished him.

He laughed like I told him a really good joke.

Tai took his seat and buckled up.

I did the same and looked around the area.

I wasn’t lying when I said I’d never been in an ambulance before.

The back rocked when PD turned out of the hospital parking lot, and my stomach rolled.

By the time we’d made it to the intersection that turned onto Main Street, I was ready to puke.

“Tai?” I asked, placing my hand over my mouth.

“Yeah?” He called from the front seat.

The radio squawked, drowning out my reply.

I looked around for anything I could use to throw up in, because it was only moments away, and found a barf bag…or at least what I thought to be a barf bag.

Needless to say, that was what it was used for as I heaved up my dinner and lunch, and probably even last week’s lunch.

Tai poked his concerned gaze around the partition, looked at me, and cursed.

I continued to puke.

Who knew that the back of an ambulance would make my car sickness days return with a vengeance?

Tai wormed his way through the opening, and if I were feeling better, I would’ve laughed at the way he’d had to squeeze his shoulders through.

“Go upfront,” he ordered.

I ignored him in favor of puking again

He cursed again.

PD finally pulled over at Tai’s shouted order, and I finally felt my stomach settle.

I held still for long moments after the rocking had stopped, waiting for the feeling to come back, but never did.

“So, you get car sick?” Tai asked.

I let the Ziploc baggie drop to my lap, and I shakily zipped it closed.

He held his hand out for it, and I blushed fifteen shades of red.

“Just point out the trash,” I ordered.

He pointed to a small waste paper basket against the back wall, and I hurriedly dropped it in and closed the lid.

“Get in the front. I have to get back to the station before another call drops so I can get the hell off shift. Hurry,” he said.

I didn’t waste time arguing.

I was still feeling slightly shaky, and I worried I’d fall to my knees in front of him.

However, my knees held, and I dropped down into the seat across from PD.

“What are you looking at?” I snapped.

He looked down at my shirt.

“You have puke on your shirt,” he quipped.

“Shit,” I said, looking down.

And sure enough, I did have puke on my shirt.
Perfect
.

Hastily, I strapped my seatbelt on, then reached for the bottom edges of my scrub top before I yanked it over my head.

Balling it up into a clump of fabric I shoved it in my purse that still happened to be in the crook of my arm after all that lovely vomiting.

PD whistled under his breath, and I looked at him curiously.

“What?” I asked.

He shook his head. “Nothin.’”

I decided to take him for his word, seriously not in the mood to ask him again, let alone to listen to him lie.

The ride in the passenger seat was like riding in a Rolls Royce compared to riding in the back, and I breathed a sigh of relief as I rode the rest of the ride with little to nothing bothering me.

Except for PD’s eyes on me.

Those
bothered me.

“What are you looking at?” I snapped.

He shrugged. “What he sees in you.”

I blinked, turning to regard him, then leaned around further to see if Tai had heard.

He hadn’t.

He was laid out on the bench that ran along the length of the box, eyes closed, like he didn’t have a care in the world.

I turned back to study PD.

“What are you talking about?” I asked.

He glanced at me before turning his eyes back to the road and the traffic in front of him.

“You’re hurting him…still hurting him,” he said. “He’s got enough on his plate. He doesn’t need to be collecting charity cases.”

I blanched.

“Don’t take that the wrong way,” he said.

I turned my eyes straight in front of me. “How do you want me to take it?”

He sighed.

“Tai’s got a soft heart. He’ll do anything to take care of those he thinks that need it. He feels like he has to, to make up for his sister and what he didn’t do,” he said.

“And how do you know that?” I snapped.

“Because he’s me. I’ve been doing the same damn thing, only for a lot longer,” he answered. “Just be careful not to hurt him anymore. You can start by not pushing all of your issues on to him to solve, because he’ll focus on fixing your problems before his own.”

I stayed silent, not knowing what to say to that statement.

I thought on what he said as he pulled into the station, backing the ambulance with ease into the parking bay.

Was I just bringing all my problems to Tai for him to fix?

No. That’d never been my intention.

In the beginning, I’d only been trying to make sure that Colt got what he needed. Any mother would’ve done the same.

However, he’d inserted himself into my mother’s business.

He was also the one that dragged me along with him instead of letting me drive myself home.

I hadn’t asked him to do that.

EMS. The lights and sirens aren’t just for decoration, motherfuckers.

-Tai’s secret thoughts

Mia

By the time I got out of the ambulance, I’d worked myself into a good hissy.

Tai was clueless as he stepped out behind me and immediately walked into the station, leaving me behind.

I followed behind him.

It was either that or stay with PD, and I was mad at him.

I walked in, seeing Tai talking to some other man I hadn’t met yet.

He handed off a key, his radio, and he shook the guy’s hand before heading back to me.

“Ready?” He asked.

I nodded.

He placed his hand on my back and led me back outside.

We arrived in the parking lot in time to see PD get into his truck and start pulling away.

“Is it some written rule that everyone has to back in?” I wondered as I took in the parking area.

Every single one of the vehicles, whether it be car or truck, was backed in.

Tai led me to a lifted Chevy Silverado that was around forty years old…if not more.

I wasn’t a car guru, but I could tell a restoration when I saw it, and Tai’s truck was definitely restored.

The paint was a gleaming cherry red, and the tires had wheels that were so bright and shiny that I was envious.

“Nice truck,” I said, going to the passenger side.

Tai opened the passenger side door for me and helped me in, slamming the door once I was inside.

“Thanks,” he said. “My brother and I built it when I was eighteen. It’s the only thing to survive my teenage years.”

I snorted.

“I wrapped my first car around a telephone pole,” I admitted. “And my second car around a brick wall holding a sign up.”

He turned to me in surprise. “You don’t drive shitty anymore, do you?”

I shook my head.

“No, I haven’t had an accident since Colt was born. I guess he was my lucky charm,” I said softly, looking at my hands.

Tai didn’t say anything.

Most didn’t know what to say to me when I brought Colt up.

But I didn’t want Colt to be a dirty little secret. I wanted his life to be celebrated, which meant that I would talk about him.

I wasn’t going to hide my head in the sand.

And it wouldn’t bother me in the least if they felt like talking about Colt.

“Where does your mom live?” He asked.

I gave him directions, and we arrived at my mother’s place in silence.

It wasn’t a thick silence, either. It was a comfortable one. One where we both thought about our own things but didn’t feel the need to fill the space around us with useless chatter.

My mom lived in a neighborhood just outside the city limits. All the houses were the same style. Each a ranch style home with shutters, a well-manicured lawn and a two-car carport.

If you didn’t know the address or the car that was supposed to be in the driveway, you could easily get lost in the monotony of it all.

“My mom’s house is the first one on the right,” I said, pointing.

It was weird not seeing her car in the driveway. Then again, I probably wouldn’t ever see that car again, seeing as she’d totaled it earlier in the day.

“Nice place,” he said. “I live a few streets over.”

“Oh, that’s close. I told my mom today I’d move in with her and help with rent. I had a place up near the college that I was going to rent, but then this all happened, and well…you know,” I said, getting out of the car and heading to the front entrance.

Once I reached the front door, I opened it quickly and stepped inside.

“Please, for the love of all that’s holy, excuse the huge mess. My mother doesn’t have any control of her fingers when it comes to fabric she sees online,” I said.

Tai chuckled, but it broke off when I flipped the light on and he got his first glimpse of it all.

“So I’m guessing she likes sewing?” He asked facetiously.

I snorted.

“My mom’s more of an embroiderer,” I said. “Those machines right there cost thousands of dollars a pop. She worked her ass off to get them, but they’re big and bulky, and she’s got no impulse control. Which is why she has three of them,” I informed him.

He walked over to one of the machines and picked up a t-shirt that was off to the side.

“That’s nice,” he said softly.

I nodded.

“She’s making me a bear of all of Colton’s clothes. One that I can place on a shelf or something, I guess,” I whispered.

Tai’s eyes came to mine.

“You’re doing well,” he said roughly.

I shrugged. “At times. Other times, something like that would’ve set me off into sobs,” I answered truthfully. “It’s completely random, and I have no control over it.”

He put the shirt back down onto the pile that it’d been on top of before.

“Five years ago, when I moved here, it was because one of my good friends, Adam, died in an explosion right beside me,” he said, staring at the t-shirt with unseeing eyes. “It hasn’t gotten any better. I still have nightmares about it, almost nightly…more so lately…and well…I’m just telling you that you’re pretty normal.”