SHIVER (37 page)

Aidan woke feeling like he’d been hit by a snowplow, dragged fifty miles, and dumped into a snow bank. Whatever had been in Eva’s syringe had packed a wallop. He had no idea how long he’d been out, just wished it had been longer as he remembered vividly all that had transpired between him and Raven. The room was dark with darker shadows outside the window. He couldn’t tell if it was day or night and didn’t care. Time lay before him long and lonely. He heard rustling off to his right—
Raven
—and turned his head.

“You’re awake?” an achingly familiar voice asked from the direction of the rocking chair.

“Sonya?” he croaked.

“Yeah, it’s me. Okay, if I turn on a light?”

He nodded and then realized she couldn’t see him. He wasn’t sure if he was up to seeing her. She’d been another woman who’d broken his heart. “Yeah.”

The light on the bedside table clicked on, and he turned his head, shutting his eyes as the light sliced through his head.

“Crap, Aidan, you look like shit. How do you feel?”

“Like I look.” He blinked his eyes until they adjusted to the change in light, though he still had to narrow his gaze in order to see her. She looked…good, better. Happy. She’d never looked this good when she’d been with him, which meant Garrett was probably responsible for that glow in her cheeks, twinkle in her warm brown eyes. Her rich, dark hair was loose and soft around her shoulders, the strong bones in her face softened, more rounder. That was the word. She looked softer…more womanly. His eyes widened. “You’re pregnant?”

She blushed and caressed her swollen belly. “Uh, yeah. About five months along.”

He did the math. “Looks as if you caught more than fish last summer. Knocked up by a fish cop? You’re going to have a tough time living that down.”

“Don’t I know it.” She grimaced and then smiled secretly, as though she really didn’t mind. “So…tell me about Raven?”

He shut his eyes as pain vibrated through him at the sound of her name.

“She’s the one, isn’t she?” she asked softly. “The one you wanted me to be. Want to talk about it?”

“I can’t. Not with you.”

“Who better than me?” She stood and moved to sit on the edge of the bed. “Aidan, I’ve known you a long time, but being here, talking with the Maiskis, I finally feel like I understand you.” She brushed the hair away from his forehead. “Let me help.”

“With what? I have more
help
from your family than I want.”

“What about Raven?”

He looked away into the darkened room. “There’s nothing to help. She can’t get past my family. And I don’t blame her. I’ve been trying to change my DNA all my life.”

“You really love her, don’t you?”

He sat up in the bed, relishing the soreness of his joints and the ache of the cuts Eva had stitched back together. He wished it were enough to dull the slicing pain of Raven’s rejection. But it didn’t even come close. “It doesn’t matter what I feel. Whatever was between us is over.”

“What about your son?”

He froze in the process of getting out of the bed and turned to her. “Drop it or you’re going to piss me off.”

She gave him a small smile. “Better than feeling sorry for yourself.”

“Were you always this bitchy?”

She laughed. “And here I’ve been taking it easy on you.”

“Butt out, Sonya.” He stood, his legs wobbly like a gangly newborn moose. He found his clothes, freshly washed—bless Fiona—folded on the top of the dresser and struggled into them.

“Answer me this, Aidan. When I called it quits between us, you fought hard to get me back. Why aren’t you fighting for Raven?”

He stared at her as he buttoned up his shirt. She stared right back. There was no intimidating Sonya. The woman could oxidize rust off a ship’s hull with that look. “Why’d you come? I understand why Garrett’s here. He wants his man. But you—” he indicated her pregnant state “—making Roland pay for his part in last summer’s crimes isn’t a major concern for you now, is it? So, why are you here?”

She stood and moved around the bed to stand in front of him. “I’m worried about you. I want you to be happy.”

“Don’t tell me that you’ve turned into one of those women. The kind who finds love and then wants the same for everyone else?”

The side of her mouth crooked up. “Seems that way. Hormones.” She shrugged. “Seriously, Aidan. I want the best for you.”

He had to turn away from the emotion in her eyes as it caused his heart to ache. “I gotta go.”

“Aidan.” The tone of her voice had him turning around, his hand on the doorknob. “I think with all that you’ve been through you believe you’re unlovable, and I just want you to know that you aren’t.”

Aidan gave her one last look and then turned and left the room.

Unlovable.

Damn, the woman had nailed it. That was how he’d felt all his life. His mother had loved her next drink more than she had him. Earl never loved him, as he was a constant disappointment. Then there were Raven and Sonya. He’d never been good enough.

Would he be good enough for Fox?

The thought had him pausing on his way to the restaurant to see Pike. What kind of expectations did Fox have? Whatever they were, he was bound to let him down too. Maybe he should do what Raven wanted and leave them alone. After all, he’d let down everyone he had ever cared about.

He entered the sparse restaurant and glanced around. The nature-seeking woman was sitting at a table with coffee and a map. She looked too old and used to be after anything other than comfort. A few other patrons he didn’t recognize were saddled up to the bar. The mosquito clock said nine. He was assuming it was nine in the evening and the dinner crowd was dwindling down. It was hard to tell with the sun rising later every day. Pike, Garrett, Lynx, and Peter were sharing a bowl of chips and salsa at a corner table. He pulled a chair from another table over and sat down.

“We thought you were going to sleep all night,” Garrett said.

“Had a lovely conversation with Sonya,” Aidan couldn’t help saying. Garrett Hunt always brought out the worst in him.

Garrett’s gaze darkened for a minute, but he failed to take the bait. “While you were resting, we gathered a search party and looked for Roland.”

“I take it you didn’t find him,” Aidan spoke the obvious. “He won’t be found unless he wants to be.”

“We were hoping with the shape you were in that he might not be in top form himself.” Lynx smiled. “Guess you didn’t slow him down any.”

Aidan let the dig slide. “Wherever he’s holed up, it can’t be far. He has to be close enough to keep tabs on Earl’s place.”

“Come morning, we’ll head up into the hills,” Pike said.

“I have a better idea.” Aidan leaned his elbows onto the table top. “Let’s find the gold, if there is any, and then burn the fucking cabin to the ground. That will take care of Roland. Either he’ll leave, empty-handed, or it will bring him running.”

The four men shared a look. Lynx was the first to speak. “Can’t believe I didn’t think of that,” he mumbled.

“So we’re decided?” Aidan stared at each of them. “Let’s meet out there at daylight. Bring whatever tools you think we need to bust the place wide open.”

“All right,” Peter said all grins. “I’ve never been treasure-hunting before.”

“I’d prefer it if you stayed here to protect the women in case Roland gets fired up over what we’re doing.”

“Hey.” Peter scowled. “I’m not staying behind with the girls.”

“I agree with Aidan. Roland could show up here looking for revenge,” Garrett added, meeting Aidan’s gaze with a knowing nod. Neither man wanted the kid in harm’s way. Besides, anything happened to Peter and Sonya would kill them both.

“This sucks,” Peter grumbled. “I’m not a babysitter.”

“Don’t let Sonya hear you talk like that,” Garrett said.

Peter sat up straight, looking around the restaurant.

“Besides, she hears what we are up to, and she’ll want to be a part of it,” Garrett said. “It’ll be up to you to watch out for her and Lana.”

“Raven too,” Aidan added. “She’ll probably be in her studio, but anyone trying to get to her will have to pass by the lodge.”

“Do I get a gun?” Peter mumbled, knowing he was being patronized.

Pike quirked his lips. “There’s a shotgun under the bar if you need it.”

“Woohoo.”

C
HAPTER
T
WENTY-
F
OUR

“What did you do?” Fox barreled into the studio, where Raven was attempting to work. She had orders piling up and couldn’t center a ball of clay to save her life.

“Hello to you too,” she greeted, dreading the conversation to come. He’d obviously been to the lodge and seen Aidan. She wished he’d come home first so that she could have explained things to him. “How was Grand’s?”

“How could you tell Dad to stay away?”

“Fox—”

“You’re ruining everything!” He threw his overnight bag onto the dusty floor.

“Now listen.”

“No.” He backed away, his eyes narrowed, furious. “It’s my choice if I want Dad in my life. Not yours.”

“Fox!” she hollered after him as he scurried out of the room and slammed the door on his way back outside. “Shit.” She slammed the ball of clay down onto the wheel, and ran after him. He was outside hitching up his dogs to the sled. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“Somewhere I can think.”

“You’re not running off mad.”

“Yes I am. Dad told me when I feel like this to distance myself until I can calm down. And that’s what I’m doing. I can’t be around you right now.”

Raven wrapped her arms around her as the pain of his words hit her like shards of broken pottery. She’d run out of the cabin without her coat and the icy air stole her breath. Physically, she couldn’t keep him from leaving. The kid was as tall as she was. She wanted to put him in time out like she had when he was younger. But then he was essentially doing that to himself. Except, rather than sitting on a stool in the kitchen, he’d be racing over frozen tundra. “Be careful. Please.”

He didn’t respond, just methodically harnessed his excited dogs until he had the team in place. He commanded them to mush and didn’t look back.

Raven ran back into the cabin and grabbed her coat. There would be no working in the studio today, not with her emotions all over the place, and her creativity in the toilet. A walk up to the lodge would do her good. Clear her head.

She’d rerun everything in her mind last night when she couldn’t sleep. Every time she closed her eyes, she’d pictured making love with Aidan and how sweet and special being with him had been. The contrast to the man who’d shared her bed and the one who’d wailed on his uncle were so different it was hard to reconcile they were the same person.

Raven entered the lodge, hung up her coat, and found Fiona and Gran in the kitchen making a mess of sandwiches. “Something going on?”

“Lunches for the men,” Coho said, spreading mayo on homemade bread. “They’re treasure-hunting today.”

“What?”

Fiona pulled out cheese and deli meet from the fridge. “They’re planning on tearing Earl’s place apart, hoping to find what Aidan’s uncle has been after, and then burn down the place.”

“Whose idea was this?”

Gran gave her a meaningful look. “Who do you think?”

Aidan.

“But that was his home. Don’t you think it’s a bit drastic?”

“Honey,” Fiona said. “That poor boy has no fond memories of the place. It will do him good to burn it to the ground.”

But then he wouldn’t have a place to stay and he would leave.
Wasn’t that what she wanted? The thought banged around inside her bruised heart like a steel ball in a pinball machine. “When are they leaving?”

“Soon as the sun comes up.” Fiona glanced at the clock. “Couple of hours. Pike had to run down his chainsaw he loaned out to Lynx who in turned loaned it to Bree.”

“Where’s Chickadee?”

“Her room,” Fiona said. “She’s supposed to be working on a term paper.”