Shine Not Burn (33 page)

QUICKLY BRUSHING THE TEARS OFF my cheeks, I looked up at Maeve standing in the doorway of Ian’s room.
 
“Oh, hi. I didn’t see you there.”
 
I cleared my throat to get the frog out of it.

“I just got in from collecting eggs.
 
I have to head into town to get some things for the picnic. Would you like to join me?”
 
Her expression told me nothing about whether she’d heard any of my conversation.

I looked around the room and at my phone, Bradley’s threat weighing heavily on my mind.
 
What if he really comes out here?
 
How would he find me?
 
I’m out in the middle of nowhere.

Underestimating his determination would be a mistake, I knew that.
 
I had to be on my way back to the East Coast before he got here.
 
It would be the only way to avoid a huge, ugly scene.

“I think I’d better stick around here,” I said.
 
“I need to talk to Mack.”

“Well, Mack’s in town, so if you want to talk to him, best come with me.” She left the room before I had time to argue. The conversation Mack and I needed to have wasn’t one to engage in with his mother standing nearby, but the idea of waiting around the ranch for him to show up who-knows-when was even less appealing.
 
If I found him in town, maybe I could make him take me somewhere private where we could finally end this thing as painlessly as possible.

I grabbed my satchel, slipped on the moccasins Maeve had loaned me last night, and followed the sound of her footsteps going down the stairs.

“I’m just going to throw some other clothes on,” I said.

“I’ll be outside,” she responded from the porch.

I grabbed my overnight bag from the floor and pulled out a t-shirt and shorts, slipping them on in the bathroom.
 
I brushed my teeth and did what I could with my hair before joining Maeve outside.

“You have a car?” I asked as I walked to the driveway, making my way over to a pickup truck that Maeve was already getting into.

“We have a couple cars here, but I guess you could call this one mine.
 
It’s the one I drive most often.”

I stopped at the passenger door, my fingers resting on the handle.
 
“I probably could have asked you for a ride last night instead of Boog, huh?”
 
It was the closest I could come to scolding her for not offering without being a complete jerk.

“You could have asked, but I would have said no, unfortunately.”
 
She slammed her door shut and reached for her seatbelt.
 
“I can’t drive from dusk on.
 
I have night vision problems.”
 
She smiled ruefully at me as I climbed in next to her.

“Oh. Well that’s … inconvenient.”
 
I put my seatbelt on and scanned the dashboard.
 
There was dust all over it.
 
I clasped my hands in my lap to keep from wiping it off.
 
Instead, I busied myself with getting the small brush out of my satchel and working the knots out of my hair.

“No, not really.”
 
She started the engine and it roared to life.
 
“When I go out at night, I’m always with Angus or one of the boys, anyway.
 
I prefer it when they drive.
 
Then I can just ride and look at the scenery.”
 
She backed out into the yard and turned onto the dirt road leading to the property’s entrance gate.

I lifted an eyebrow but kept my mouth shut about the so-called scenery, refusing to let my bad day ruin hers too.
 
As far as I could tell, the entire landscape consisted of scrub brush and dirt.
 
There wasn’t much to miss, except maybe the mountains off in the distance.

“Hey!” came a voice from the side of the house, just as we were reaching the gate.

Maeve stopped the truck and rolled down my window.
 
Boog was just coming around to the front where all the trucks were parked.

“Where you headed?” he asked.

“Into town.
 
Grocery store.
 
Need anything?”

“You could grab me some chew and I wouldn’t complain.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Maeve promised.

The window went up as Boog pulled a cell phone out of his pocket and started a call before going back around the side of the house and out of sight.

We rode down the dirt road that had almost killed me yesterday, the truck’s shock absorbers doing little to keep my teeth in my gums.
 
I had a headache by the time we reached the main road.

“I sure hope you’ll be able to stay for the picnic.
 
It’s a big event for the family, and since you’ve got some MacKenzie connection somewhere in your line, it would be nice for everyone to be able to meet you.
 
We have MacKenzies coming in from some other counties, not just the immediate area.”

Great.
 
More people to witness my shame.
 
“I really can’t.
 
I have to get back to work as soon as possible.
 
After I talk to Mack, I’ll be heading out.”

Maeve frowned but said nothing in response.

After a little while, the silence started to eat at me.
 
“So, do you know why Mack had to go into town?” I was trying to sound friendly-casual about it.
 
“He’d told me we could sit down and chat at nine, so I was kind of surprised to hear he wasn’t around.”

“I have an idea why, but I’m not sure it’s right.”

I bit my lip.
 
“I hope it wasn’t an emergency.
 
I mean anything bad.”
 
I cringed at my complete lack of finesse.

Maeve didn’t seem to notice.
 
“He just has some loose ends back in town that he’s been putting off taking care of.
 
I guess he decided it was about time and got a bug up his buns to do it right away.”

“With Hannah Banana?”
 
I did it.
 
I totally went for it.
 
And now that my mouth had leaped in front of my brain once again, I was just going to have to live with the fallout.
 
I waited on pins and needles for Maeve’s response.

She looked at me sharply before turning back to face the windshield.
 
“How did you know about Hannah?
 
Did Mack tell you about her?”

I shrugged.
 
“I saw her at the diner when I was in there yesterday for coffee, and then I saw the pictures of her and Mack in your living room.
 
I just put two and two together.”
 
Stupid jealousy was eating me alive.
 
Before, Hannah being in Mack’s life had just been a suspicion, something I planned to use to force his hand into signing the papers.
 
Now it was something else entirely.
 
Does he love her?
 
Does he want to marry her?
 
Why do I care?

Maeve sighed deeply.
 
“Hannah is … how can I say this nicely …”
 
She pressed her lips together for a few seconds.
 
“Hannah has been hanging on to the idea of her and Mack being together since she was fourteen years old.”

“That’s…”
 
I paused to estimate the years.

“A long time,” Maeve finished for me.
 
“And in all those years, Mack never reciprocated the feeling.”

“But don’t they live together?”

“Yes, but not as a couple.”

I snorted.
 
Mothers could be so clueless.

Maeve frowned at me for a split second.
 
“No, really.
 
I’m not privy to all of their private moments, but I know my son.”

I nodded noncommittally, not believing a word of it.
 
Maeve believed it, but that was just a mother’s naiveté, what she wanted to be true.
 
A man like Mack and a woman in love with him for over ten years couldn’t possibly live together and stay just friends.
 
He would have had to beat her off with a stick, and he was too nice a guy to do that.

I shook my head, battling tears.
 
It figured.
 
I had the best sex of my life with a man who was already spoken for, and the sex education he’d provided me was enough to make me realize that the man who’d I’d planned to marry was not the man for me.
 
Or maybe he was.
 
Maybe I was better off with a guy who was cold, calculating and absolutely sure of how I fit into his life.

Nothing made sense anymore.
 
I was so confused.
 
The divorce papers in my bag were either my ticket to happiness or my doom; I had no way of knowing.
 
Investing in a Magic Eight-Ball when we got into town seemed the best plan of action at this point.
 
Asking it to solve my problems would probably put me on a better track than I’d be able to manage for myself.

“When they were growing up, Hannah was always on the outskirts of my boys’ games.
 
She watched them doing their rodeos when they got older, went to their sporting events … but never once did Gavin give her the time of day.
 
He didn’t respect her is what he always told me.
 
She married another man - a friend of Gavin’s - and then ended up in a bad way a couple months back, so he offered her a place to stay.
 
He did it at his friend’s request, not Hannah’s.
 
He’s just being a good friend.”

“Mmm-hmm,” I said, staring out the window. Maeve was pushing a knife into my chest with every word. Next she’d probably tell me how they had to share a bedroom, all because Mack’s such a good guy.
 
A veritable saint in form-fitting jeans and a cowboy hat.

“You should talk to him about it.
 
He’ll explain.”

“He doesn’t need to,” I said, trying to keep the sadness out of my voice.
 
“It has nothing to do with me.”

“Are you sure about that?”
 
Maeve had stopped in town at a red light.
 
She glanced at me before driving forward through the cleared intersection.

“I’m sure.” I said, knowing it wasn’t true.
 
Mack and Hannah had lots to do with me.
 
He’s my husband, but he belongs with the girl who’s loved him half her life, not the one who couldn’t even remember she married him.
 
Standing in the middle of that wouldn’t be fair.
 
Great sex does not make a relationship, and besides, we were opposites in every way.
 
He’s a cowboy, I’m a lawyer.
 
He lives in the dust and I live on the asphalt.
 
He rides a horse and I drive a clown honkey-horn having Smart Car.

Maeve pulled into a parking lot.
 
“Here’s the grocery store.
 
Come on in with me and we’ll grab a few things before we head on over to the party supply place.”

I got out of the truck and followed her in, my eyes staring at the ground in front of me as I mulled over my situation.
 
I didn’t see Hannah until she was almost on top of me.

Chapter Thirty

“WELL, IF IT ISN’T THE foreigner.
 
Fancy meeting you here.
 
How’re you doing there, Annie?”
 
Hannah sauntered over in a pair of denim short-shorts and a red blouse tied at the bottom
à la
Daisy Duke, abandoning her grocery cart near a pile of books set up in a display near the front doors.
 
The only thing she was missing were ponytails on either side of her head; instead, her hair was left curly and loose.
 
It appeared less brassy than the last time I’d seen it, making me think she’d just spent some serious dough at the beauty salon.
 
I glanced down towards the bottom of her long legs at her cute, multi-colored embroidered cowboy boots.
 
Where I came from, she would have been laughed at for looking like a silly hayseed redneck.
 
But out here, the whole get-up made her look like a country-western singer.
 
A really pretty one.
 
Maybe even sexy, too.
 
My heart sank, suddenly seeing her through Mack’s eyes.
 
She was like every cowboys’ wet dream right there in the flesh.
 
She probably knew how to bake pies, too.
 
I wouldn’t know the first thing about doing that.
 
I’m more the buy and defrost kind of girl.

“Her name is
Andie
, not Annie,” corrected Maeve.
 
She looked deceptively calm and casual about being approached by the girl we were just talking about in the truck in a not very complimentary way.

Hannah dragged her eyes from me to acknowledge Maeve, who wasn’t standing more than three feet away from her.
 
“Oh, hi, Miss Maeve, I didn’t see you there.
 
You acting as tour guide for the visitor?”

I glanced nervously around the immediate area, wondering if Mack was shopping with her.
 
Part of me wanted to see him because he made me punch drunk with his sexiness, but the other part of me - the part that had a functioning brain - wanted a few States separating us.
 
Especially with Hannah Banana around, staking her claim and making me feel like an advertisement for Nerdgirl Monthly in my plain t-shirt, shorts, and borrowed moccasins.

“I guess you could say I’m a tour guide.”
 
Maeve smiled at me.
 
“We’re just stocking up for the picnic.”
 
She turned a less smiley gaze on Hannah.
 
“You’re coming this year, I assume.”