Shifting Gears: The Complete Series (Sports Bad Boy Romance) (46 page)

“What do you mean?” she said. God, she was
a terrible actress.

“Megan, please…” I was almost in tears.
“Please come and talk to me.”

 
I
must have sounded pathetic, because she sighed and said, “Okay, Brock. We’ll be
there soon.”

I hung up, and while I still had the phone
in my hand I called Molly. I knew it was a desperate move, but I couldn’t stop
myself. It went straight to voice mail. I didn’t leave a message…I didn’t know
what to say.

True to her word, Megan and Jake were
there in twenty minutes. Megan must have already told Jake that he didn’t want
to be around for this because he said, “I’m going to get some studying done at
the library.” He grabbed his backpack and kissed Megan and said, “Just call me
when you’re done.” Then he looked at me with something akin to pity in his eyes
and said, “See you in a bit, man.” I just nodded at him. Jake’s a good friend.

Megan sat down and so did I, and then I
said, “Please tell me what is going on with Molly.”

“What did she tell you?” Megan asked me.

“She said that she was breaking up with me
because she doesn’t want a boyfriend. I don’t believe that though Megan. Things
were…beautiful. They were perfect. It doesn’t make any sense.”

Megan looked like she was thinking about
what she was supposed to tell me, and comparing it to what she wanted to tell
me. Finally she said, “Brock, you know how much I like you, and how much I love
Molly. But even though Jake and I spent all that time trying to push you guys
together, this is between you and her now. She did tell you from the beginning
that she didn’t want a relationship. Maybe we all should have left her alone.”

“You don’t mean that, Megan. You saw how
happy she was with me lately. She was only worried about the cancer at first
right? She thought that I would walk out on her the way that her slime-ball ex
did. I would never do that though, and I think she knows that.”

Megan looked at me then with tears in her
eyes. I could tell she was trying to hold them back, and I knew that there was
a lot more to this story.

“Leave it alone, Brock. Please.”

I stood up. I had all of this nervous
energy that I didn’t know what to do with. I had to do something. I couldn’t
just let the best thing that had ever come my way walk out of my life.

“I’m not going to leave it alone, Meg.
I’ll go find Molly; I’ll turn into a stalker if I have to until she tells me
what’s really going on.”

One of the tears in her eyes escaped and
rolled down her cheek. I felt bad, but I knew she was coming around, so I was
happy at the same time.

“She asked me not to tell you, Brock. She
made me promise. I’ve never broken a promise to her. She’s my best friend,
she’s like my sister.”

“I know that, Megan. That’s why I called
you. I know you want her to be happy, and I know you would have never set her
up with me if you didn’t think I could make her that way. Whatever you tell me,
I swear to you that I won’t use it to hurt her. I won’t use it at all, unless
it’s somehow to help. Megan, I love her. I’m in love with Molly.” I didn’t want
Megan to be the first to know that, but Molly wouldn’t let me say it earlier. I
might never get the chance to say it to her. Someone had to know.

She was crying now, and I knew that she
wanted to tell me. I waited her out, and finally she said, “She’s sick, Brock.”

 
I
sat back down.

“Sick like, she has cancer? Because I
already know. I have it too, did Jake tell you that?”

She looked at me strangely, like she
didn’t know. Man we were a damned good bunch of secret keepers that was for
sure.

“She’s sicker, Brock,” she said at last.
“Her last kidney is not working any more. They’re going to take it out.”

I felt like someone had just reached down
my throat and ripped out my guts. My stomach was burning and the pounding in my
head reached maximum force and volume.

“Then what?” I asked, not sure that I
wanted the answer.

Megan shrugged. “They put her on the
waiting list for a transplant, and she’ll have to have dialysis after the
surgery.”

I didn’t know what else to say. I wanted
to leave right now and go to her. But I knew that would just make her mad…at
me, and at Megan. God, why did this have to happen to her? She’s such a good
person and she has so much life ahead of her. I let myself wallow in that for a
moment and then I looked at Megan and said, “When’s the surgery?”

“Early next week,” she said.

“I know there have been a lot of secrets,
but can you not tell her I know? Just please call me if she needs anything, and
let me know when they schedule the surgery for sure.”

Megan nodded; she was still crying as she
looked at me and said, “She thinks she’s going to die, you know? That’s why
she’s so afraid to let you be close. She doesn’t want you to get hurt like
that.”

“I know,” I said. “But she’s not going to
die, she’s going to fight, and she’s going to have all of us right there by her
side while she does. And when she’s better, a year or two or three from now,
I’m still going to be there. I want to be there forever.”

Megan smiled and said, “She’s lucky to
have you.”

“No, Meg. I’m the lucky one. I didn’t even
know what I was missing until I met her. Thank you, for bringing her into my
life.”

CHAPTER
TWENTY-FOUR

MOLLY

Megan and I met for lunch after my
appointment with the transplant surgeon. She was acting weird, she had been
since yesterday. But I had dropped a lot in her lap by telling her how sick I
was, and making her promise not to tell Brock. I knew that it was wrong. He was
her friend too, and I was asking her to keep this from him, when I knew he was
probably asking her what’s going one.

Brock had only tried to call me once. I’d
been on the phone with Grandma, and I had rejected his call. He didn’t leave a
voicemail. Maybe this was a good sign. Maybe he was going to take this better
than I thought. Maybe I had given myself too much credit for being
unforgettable.

“So what did the doctor say?” she asked
while we waited for our salads.

“He said that I am a good candidate, like
Dr. Harris did. Because I’m healthy otherwise, and I’m young, it will put me up
a few slots. The list is not short, however, and they were realistic about the
odds of it happening any time soon; they’re slim.”

“I’m sorry, Molly. You just have to stay
strong, and be patient. I believe in my heart that we’re going to dance at each
other’s weddings, and throw baby showers together and grow old and wrinkled
while still gossiping about the neighbors.”

I laughed, but I wasn’t so sure she was
right. I wanted her to be, but I had to be realistic. Having false hopes was
not going to help me anymore than it would have Brock.

“So,” she asked, “Any word on when the
surgery will be?”

“Yeah, Dr. Harris called me a little bit
ago. It’s scheduled for early Monday morning at eight. My grandma will be there
though, so you don’t have to take the time off from school…”

Megan was rolling her eyes at me. “Are you
crazy? Did you think wild horses could keep me away?” I didn’t, but I thought I
should say so.

“You’re a good friend Meg,” I said.

“The best,” she said with a grin. There
was sadness in her eyes though. I didn’t know if it was about the surgery, or
what I had done to Brock. Either way it was my fault, and I hated hurting the
people that I loved…all the time.

The next few days passed quickly. I tried
to go about my business and not think about the surgery and the aftermath. I
couldn’t stop thinking about Brock, and I couldn’t stop dreaming about him at
night. I thought about taking a sedative, or at the very least a dose of
Nyquil, because every time I closed my eyes I had some kind of dream about him
singing to me, or holding me, or kissing me, or making love to me. I would have
to wake up every morning and remind myself all over again that it was over. It
was like my heart was breaking over and over again. I lived in fear of running
into him, of having to come face to face with the hurt I’ve already caused him.
I hoped that he had given up, or was at least resigned to do so. I hoped that
he would move on, and be happy. He deserved to be happy.

Monday morning my grandmother showed up at
five a.m. to take me to the hospital. Megan was up getting ready. She hugged me
tight and told me she would be there, and she would see me when I woke up.
Grandma and I didn’t talk much on the way there. What was there to say, really?
When we got there, the nurse asked us to wait while she got things ready and as
we sat there shrouded in doubt and anxiety….and Brock walked through the door.
I must have looked shocked because Grandma said, “Oh, you weren’t expecting
him?” Brock heard her and said, “No ma’am. She wasn’t expecting me. I’m sorry
to intrude, but can Molly and I talk for a few minutes?”

Bless her old loyal heart; Grandma looked
at me to make sure it was okay. I guess he already knew, obviously, so what did
I have to lose at this point? When Grandma stepped out I looked at him and
said, “I wish you wouldn’t have come.”

“Why, Molly?” he said. He looked like he
truly didn’t know.

“Brock, you’re not even twenty years old
yet. This is not what you signed up for. Today is only the beginning; I still
have a long and chaotic road ahead of me…if I make it through today.”

He reached for my hand and he said, “I
wish that you didn’t think there’s a chance you won’t make it. I want
everything to be on your side, Molly, even your attitude and your will. I only
met you a few months ago, and I already can’t imagine a world without a Molly.”

That made me smile and I couldn’t pass it
up. “You know, it’s a silly name, but I think if I left the world, there would
be a few more left behind.”

He didn’t smile. I don’t think he liked my
joke. “If you died, part of me would die with you…but I would be a better man
for just having known you. So there goes your argument for “What if I die?” I
don’t believe in my heart, however that you’re going to die. So what that means
is waiting for transplants and enduring dialysis. What that means is a busy
schedule. I want to be there for all of that Molly. I want to be by your side.
I want to read to you while you’re on the dialysis machine and I want to brush
your hair when you’re in the hospital and hold your hand while you wait to hear
about the transplant. I want you, Molly. Not just the you who’s healthy and
happy and having a good day. I want the real you. I’m in love with the real
you. I’m so much in love with you, Molly. My heart physically aches for you.”

Did
he say love? He’s in love with me?
My chest started to hurt
and I could barely take in a breath. Why did he have to say that? I love him
too. I love you too. Say it out loud, Molly. What have you got to lose? He said
it.

“Brock,” I started.

“Don’t tell me to go away again, Molly,
because I’m not going. I’m sorry, but I’m not leaving.” He wouldn’t stop
talking, so I leaned over and pressed my lips to his. That did it. He kissed me
back, with a passion, and my chest really ached from lack of oxygen then.

“I was just going to say, I love you too,”
I told him. The look on his face was enough to die for after that, and I
realized that if I did die today, at least I left knowing that I had
experienced life’s greatest gift, the love of a good man.

After we kissed some more and he held me
for a while, I sent him back out to get Gran who we had forgotten about. Poor
old Gran. Megan and Jake got there, just before they took me back to the OR.
Meg hugged me and told me she loved me, and then to my great surprise, so did
Jake. That one almost put me over the top.

As they wheeled me back in my lovely paper
cap, Brock held my hand. When we got to the door the nurse told him, “I’m
sorry, sir. You’ll have to wait in the waiting room now.”

He bent down and kissed my lips once more.
I wanted to put my arms around him and let him lift me up and carry me away from
all of this. But I didn’t. I decided to suck it up and take it like a woman,
especially when he said, “I love you Molly, with my whole heart. I’ll be right
here when you come out, okay?”

I nodded. He was blurry through the tears,
but they were good tears, happy ones. I was headed to a room where they were
going to take out a vital organ that I literally couldn’t live without for very
long, yet I was happier than I ever remember being. Crazy, I know.

“I love you too, Brock,” I told him.

I watched his face until the doors had
completely closed on him. When they got me into the OR, the anesthesiologist
was waiting for me.

“Hi Molly, are you ready to get this
done?”

“What’s the hurry, Doc?” I asked him. “You
have a tee time?”

He laughed, “I wish we could keep you
awake, you’re a lot funnier than Dr. Harris. He’s kind of flat as a matter of
fact.”

“Yeah, I can’t imagine why. Dealing with
cancer is hilarious.”