Shifter's Moon (Paranormal Shifter Romance) (8 page)

             
He didn’t even realize Lia was no longer sitting around the fire until Jordan retold an anecdote about his car and saw that she had slipped off without any of them noticing.  He excused himself and stumbled out of the ring into the shadows, and followed a small crude path that led to another flat rise of granite overlooking a part of the granite cliff that gave a one hundred eighty degree vantage of the reservoir.  Lia had already set up a small green tent from the heavy canvas bag and he saw her perched on the lip of the cliff, her gaze lost in the wide expanse of water and sky. 

             
“Your friends are nice,” Jake said, slumping down beside her.  The cold of the granite snaked up through the thin fabric of his pants, and he pulled the zipper on a borrowed hoodie up to his chin.

             
She didn’t seem to notice him, and he wondered if she was just ignoring him or so lost in her own thoughts that he hadn’t registered in her consciousness.  Finally, she spoke.  “They’re okay, I suppose.”

             
“You don’t seem convinced?”

             
“I didn’t have any friends growing up.  In fact, they tended to tease me more than anything.  But, now we’re adults, so I think they figure that just erases out the past.  It doesn’t,” she said, and there was a grim note to her words, “but they’re okay people, you’re right.  I just don’t feel connected to them.  I thought I would, after all this time.”

             
“You don’t need to explain,” Jake said, and took a sip from his beer.

             
“I don’t?  I brought you out here… I dunno, I felt like, maybe, it would be different this time.  But I’m not one of them and I never will be.”

             
“The way I see it,
you
brought me out here.  So I came along because it meant I got to spend time with
you
,” he made an exaggerated motion with his hands to indicate the both of them sitting side by side, “and what do you know, here we are.”

             
It was too dark to make out the nuances of her facial expressions, but Jake thought he saw a smile cross the dark ridge of her lips.  “You’re so simple.”

             
“That’s unfortunate.  As a writer I’m supposed to cultivate an aura of complexity,” he handed her the beer and she gave it a wry look.  “You don’t drink?”

             
“I drink, it just never affects me,” she said, casually taking a sip and handing it back.

             
“Heavy weight?”

             
“Heavy metabolism,” she said and pushed him, “and don’t call a girl heavy.”

             
He was surprised at her strength and rocked precariously before Lia reached out and grabbed him by the sleeve.  “Alright, She-Hulk,” he teased.

             
“I could kick your ass.  I’m a lot stronger than you think,” she said, flashing her white teeth at him.

             
Almost against his will he reached out and with the back of two fingers stroked the side of her cheek.  Rather than pulling away or calling him out, she simply stared at him, and he gently rubbed the fine line of her jawbone where the biker had hit her.  Remarkably there was no indication of bruising or swelling, but it was hard to tell in the dark.  Both of them seemed to be balanced on the edge of a cliff, and neither seemed willing to take one step back or one step forward.  Slowly, Jake pulled his hand back, finished the can that was lying beside him, and crunched it on the rock face. 

They were quiet for several minutes, and he was surprised at how comfortable the silence could be with someone else who appreciated it.  Lia straightened her arms and leaned back with her legs outstretched in front of her and Jake noticed that all she was wearing was that iconic black tank-top that seemed to fold over her supple form as if it were her own shadow. 

             
Lia tilted her head back and he saw the fine delineation of her jaw as it pointed sharply at the nest of stars above them.  Back in the city the light pollution had made it impossible to get a very clear view of the night sky.  Except for a few bright points of light, Jake had grown accustomed to the orange restless hue of the urban skyline, and he wondered how he could have forgotten how vast and decorated the heavens were with their multitude of alien suns.  Lia must have noticed him transfixed by the stellar ceiling above them and leaned in closer until his hair brushed against the shoulder of his hoodie.

             
“See that one up there,” she said, and Jake could smell the sweet aroma of her skin again as he followed the length of her skinny arm to where she was pointing at some indistinct points of light, “that one right below the dipper, the three stars in a line, and then those two bright ones close together?”

             
“I see it.”

             
“That’s the Great Wolf. My grandmother would always point it out,”

             
“I don’t know that constellation.”

             
“I don’t think it’s any you would have heard of.  She used to say it was a constellation that was passed down through our family.  There used to be a village, a long time ago, and one winter game was so scarce that the villagers were starving.  One day a girl from the village went out to collect water and on the way back heard a strange sound coming from a cave.  When she went in to investigate there was a dead doe, and consumed by hunger she cut as much meat as she could and hurried home.

             
“The villagers were thankful for the gift, and when they asked where she had found the meat she lied and told them she had killed it herself.  The next day she returned to the cave to gather more meat.  But as she tried to leave for the second time she was confronted by a wolf, whose cave it was.  She tried to apologize for stealing the meat, and the wolf agreed to help her.  He bit her, and then she passed out.

             
“When she awoke she was a wolf.  Terrified, she tried to return to the village, but the other villagers were scared of her and chased her off.  She realized she had lost her human tongue and had no way to communicate with them.  But because she was a wolf, she was now able to hunt.  So that winter, and every other winter, the villagers would awake to find fresh meat at the foot of their village, and they knew that the girl had become a wolf and was looking after them.”

             
Jake nodded.  A gold gust of wind scattered across the flat face of the reservoir and moved up over the rocks.  He shivered.  “That’s a sad story,”

             
“But a good one.  Now she runs across the night sky, forever trying to return to her human shape, but cursed to live as a wolf,”

             
He was reminded of his dreams, the image of a large black lupine figure staring down at him.  The cold yellow eyes.  He decided against telling Lia about it.  He adjusted his weight and his elbow touched hers.  “Do you think she’ll ever succeed.  I mean, do you think she’ll ever be able to turn back?” he asked.

             
Lia didn’t answer.  She let out a yawn and tried to change the subject.  “What about you?”

             
“I’m not a wolf, if that’s what you mean,”

             
“No, that’s not what I mean.  What about you?  What are you really doing out here?”

             
“Looking at stars with you, last time I checked,”

             
“I mean out
here
,” she said, trying to make an all encompassing gesture, “I feel like there’s more to it than you wanting to find inspiration.”

             
Am I that transparent,
he thought, and pursed his lips.  “What makes you think there’s more to me than meets the eye?”

             
“I can
smell
it
,
” she snapped back, and flared her nostrils at him menacingly.

             
“I guess you’re right.  I came out here to get away from things.  One of my editors dropped me, and my last two books flopped.  And on top of that,” he wondered if she should mention Alissa.  She was like a burr on the proverbial sleeve of his thoughts.  Every time he thought he’d managed to dislodge there, she appeared again, scratching him.  “On top of that, I wanted to go somewhere I could just empty my brain.”

             
“Girl troubles?” she asked, and Jake turned a panicked eye toward her, as if she’d overheard his own mental processes or had been spying on his thoughts.

             
“You could say that.  My girlfriend – ex-girlfriend, now, Christ – we split about three months ago.  No warning at all, just… took off.  Geez, it sounds so anticlimactic when I say it out loud.”

             
“I’m sorry, Jake.  Why did she leave?”

             
He shrugged.  “I don’t know.  I never got the chance to ask,” he said and his voice seemed to drift off and blend into the blackness of the lake. 
There really is nothing more to say, is there?  She was there, and then she wasn’t
. 

             
“You really loved her, didn’t you?”

             
“I thought I did. Now I’m not so sure. I think I loved the idea of her more than who she really was. I’m not sure I really knew who she was or vice versa.”

             
They were quiet again, but Jake felt as if a huge weight had been tipped off his chest.  He took in a deep breath, and started to laugh to himself. 
We really are such simple creatures,
he mused
, and our hearts are just as simple
.  By admitting that one fact to himself, outside of himself, that maybe he really hadn’t loved Alissa seemed to make all the difference.  For ages he had been stuck on one page of his life, unable to turn it over, but now he could.  His ears perked up again and he heard another loon call holler across the reservoir’s flat palm, a haunting lonely laugh.     

             
He reached out and his palm settled over hers.  She looked up from her own reverie and gave him a small smile, and without warning stood up on her knees and propped herself over him, her legs straddling either side of him.  He felt his heart slam against his chest, and Lia’s strong steely fingers wrapped around the back of his head.  He looked up and saw a grin spread over her features. 
What am I doing,
he thought briefly.

             
“I’m going to kiss you now,” Jake announced in a whisper, moving his own hands up the small of her back and drawing her closer.

             
“God, that took you long enough.  I thought it-” she was cut short as Jake leaned into her and his lips touched hers with a furiousness that left them both stunned. 

He kissed her harder, feeling the warmth of her body move against him.  Their mouths explored each other’s and both of them clutched at one another as if there were some force that meant to drive them apart, and the only thing that could prevent it was their own mad embrace.  She was like a wild animal, writhing against him, and as he kissed her again he felt her shoulders shake as if she was sobbing and pulled her back so that the edge of her face caught the faint glow of the moon.  Her cheeks were wet with tears and her lips were tight crescents.

“Lia…” he said breathlessly.

“I’m sorry,” she said, and tried to turn away but he held her close.

“What’s the matter?”

She shook her head and wiped at her cheeks.  “Nothing.  I’m just… an idiot.  I’m sorry.  I keep expecting to wake up.  I’m not good at…. this.”

“Making out?” Jake joked, and his face hardened when he saw Lia’s face was still etched with some painful secret she hadn’t let slip.

“I mean being close to someone.  Most people run away, or leave.  I’m just… happy right now, I didn’t want the moment to go away,” she sniffed and shook her head. “I’m so stupid.”

Jake reached up and cupped her cheek with his hand again, and his eyes had a profound seriousness to them.  He took several moments to find the right words and finally spoke them, his gaze penetrating the darkness, as if he was trying to burrow a promise into Lia’s heart.

             
“I’m not going anywhere, Lia.  I’m not afraid of you,” he whispered, and he saw more tears brim at the corners of her eyes and tumble down the supple roundness of her cheeks.  He pulled her close again and kissed her, and felt their scalding heat burn his own cheek, and for the first time in a long time the thought of work, of Alissa, of his own failings as he tried to maneuver through his life, all crumbled away.  They had been replaced by something else. 

             
Don’t cry
, he thought, wrapping his arms tighter around her.  Lia gently curled into him, tucking her head against his chest.  The muscles of his arms stood out even in the dim light, but he refused to let her go, and after a time her sobs began to dissipate and she simply clutched weakly at the collar of his hoodie.