“What do you mean?”
“Your grandmother is not well. I'm not exactly sure what's wrong, but I drive her to the hospital every third day.”
I feel breathless. Like someone has literally sucked the oxygen from the air. “Not my Nana. She's as tough as a horse.” I hear myself laugh, but stop immediately when I see Max's face.
“She's not, Lilly.”
“Why are you telling me this?” I stand up.
“Because I want you to know that your grandmother wants you settled. That's all she wants. Take my money. You'll pay it back. I know you will. I'm doing it for her. Does that help?”
“You're lying! You're a cruel man, Max Schwartz.”
He keeps on talking, but I don't halt to hear another word. I run down to Nana's, anxious to see her back hunched over the stove, the smell of her chicken soup filling the apartment. There are tears blinding my eyes when I reach her stoop, but the warmth of the vision soothes me. She is there, bent over the pot.
“Nana?” I say, my eyes still filled with tears.
“Lilly, what's the matter?” She drops the ladle and runs to hug me. “Did something happen?” she says into my hair. My Nana comes across as one of the most coldhearted people you know. Until you really need her. Then, her true character comes out like the sun on a cloudy day.
I realize if Nana is sick, the last thing I can do is tell her that I know. If I tell her, she'll go out of her way to hide the truth. I swallow the lump in my throat. “Max is in so much pain, Nana.”
“He is, but he'll be fine. He's young and in good shape. Sure, he might be off the dating market for a while.” She taps her chin. “Although, with his money I imagine he'll have more than his share of nurses. You should go and sit with him.”
This makes me laugh through my tears. “Will you ever give up?” I say, though I'm actually thankful she
does
think I'm good enough for her beloved Max.
“It's just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as it is a poor man.”
“It really isn't, Nana.”
“Will you stay for dinner?”
“I'd like that.”
“Just us girls.” She grabs my hand. “Let me just run this up to Max. It's been a long time since you've had time for this old girl.”
“Too long.”
I grab a handful of homemade cookies and get the familiar warning about ruining my appetite. Max can't be right. He's got to be delusional from pain meds.
Please Lord, don't let
her be ill. As harsh as she can be, Nana means everything to me.
I
never did ask Nana about what Max said. The truth is, I can't stand for it to be true, so it won't be. The life of an ostrich is sometimes quite rewarding. My mind hasn't let it go, though. I can't imagine that whatever challenge my Nana faces, she won't scare it off with just that look she gives me when she's disapproving.
If I learned anything today, it's that my pride needs to take a backseat to reality, or poverty, depending on your view. It's time for me to be an adult. Time to earn a living, and quit living for everything I
wish
for. If it is true about her health, Nana needs me to be an adult now, and the time for tired excuses has long-since expired. I lost $20,000? An excuse. A simple part of the challenge.
It's ten o'clock at night when I finally get home after a visit to the woefully overpriced fabric store, followed by mega-transfers on several buses. The loft is cold and empty when I unlatch the locks. Even though Kim and I were complete opposites, I have to admit I miss her presence. Oh, I could argue I miss the check more right now, but I do miss her entertainment value. What would she wear tonight? How does she manage to match so well when she can't tell blues from greens? Did Nate really want her like she claimed? The last question stops me as I put a tea bag in water, then into the microwave.
What did poor girls like me ever do before the microwave?
I don't think I could have been poverty-stricken before the era of the futon and the microwave.
Because it's so late, I think twice about calling Sara and getting another earful about her precious (twenty-five-year-old “baby”) sleeping daughter. But Sara never told me if the check was stopped, and call me an optimist, but I'm ever hopeful.
Remember, I choose silver.
I dial her number. The phone rings, and for some reason it just seems excessively loud in my ears, like Sara's serenity is being destroyed by her hapless apprentice. Trump would never put up with this garbage.
“Sara Lang.” I hear classical music in the background.
“Sara, I'm sorry to call so late. It's Lilly again. I was wondering ifâ”
“Did you get a cell phone today, Lilly?”
“No, actually I hadâ”
“I don't want to hear your excuses. Didn't I ask you to get a cell phone today?”
“Yes, butâ”
“You have to learn to respect authority. If you can't smile at the investors and do as they say, you will never make it in this business. I'm trying to do you countless favors, and I feel like I'm banging my head against the wall. First, I lend you $20,000, which you manage to lose within the first day. Then, I try to call you all day and say that I've recovered the money, and can I reach you? No. What did I say about being available in this business?”
“The money's still there?” I sputter. I can't feel my fingers. I'm so thrilled, I want to dance and sing, but I hold steady, knowing more emotion is not what Sara needs at the moment.
“Kim tried to cash the check at one of those check cashing shops. She has your driver's license, in case you're not aware. It's a good thing you called and told me the check was missing. We're just lucky she waited as long as she did to try and cash it.”
“Where was she?” Call me a sucker, but I'm worried about Kim. She has no money and I'm just worried about what she might do if she's already stolen $20,000. Truly, it's not like her.
“She was in Emeryville.”
Just across the Bay.
“My accountant won't be in for another week, and I don't care to write that kind of check without his approval, especially with you bungling it so badly the first time. I'll have the money for you next Tuesday. In the meantime, I still expect ten designs in full for the design competition. I'll choose your best design for display at Fashion Week under mine.”
“Sara, you would do that?”
“I'm feeling very jovial today. My ex-husband is filing for bankruptcy. I actually have you to thank for it, Lilly.”
“Me?”
“You're the one who told me to make sure his name was off the corporation and settle with him before the divorce. That was a costly day, but it turns out not nearly as costly as it might have been. So I'm investing $40,000 in your company; I need the write-off, and I'm sure you can use the cash.”
“Oh my goodness, Sara, I promise I won't let you down! And this time, I mean it.” It's probably not a good thing to be rejoicing in Sara's revenge on her husband, but the man had to know better than to betray his wife since she was his paycheck. And all to date a woman younger than his daughter? Oh yeah, my sympathy is just
so
not with him.
I get off the phone and jump for joy.
I am in businessâ
againâalmost!
I run up the steps to Nate's loft. I can't wait to tell him. We can set up the computer, and I can get some fabric tomorrow. It's going to be fabulous. I bang on the door. “Nate, open up!”
He does, and sitting on the sofa is a beautiful girl with long, luxurious, and
straight
brunette hair. She has full Jennifer Lopez lips, among other attributes, and I feel my strength wilt and my shoulders fall. I can't feel my limbs.
“Hi,” I manage. “I'm Nate's downstairs neighbor. I just came to tell him something about my business he invested in.” As I peek my head in, I get the final blow. They're watching
A Fish Called Wanda
, paused on my favorite part, and she is sitting with Charley (draining-ear dog) on her lap. Doesn't she have a sense of smell? There's not even the lingering scent of Lysol. He has found the perfect woman.
“Excuse us, Christina.” Nate steps out into the hallway. “The business?” he asks brightly, as if I shouldn't be the slightest bit concerned about the Miss Shampoo model in his loft.
I shrug, the wind thoroughly sucked from my sails. “Yeah, the business. Sara's lending me more money, and she recovered the check. Who is that?” I try to ask as casually as possible.
I want to tell him about my grandmother, but he's antsy, clearly worried he's upset the beautiful lady waiting inside for him. And I'm feeling a little ill myself. I'm not exactly sitting by the phone for him, but it was just yesterday he kissed me, was it not?
“Just a friend. That's amazing about the check, Lilly. I'm so glad for you.” Said on same frequency as
I think of you as a
friend, Lilly.
I can feel myself blinking away any emotion I might feel. But I want to scream at him,
How could you kiss me
like that?
“Well, have a good time.” I back down the hallway and realize that what I really miss about Kim is not Kim at all, but Nate being there waiting for me. It takes everything I have not to whisper, “Let go of the doorknob and come with me, Nate.”
But he's not my type
, I remind myself. And clearly, I'm not his. This is just wrong.
“'Night, Lilly.” Nate waves.
“'Night.” My heart is pounding. She probably has hair extensions and caps on her teeth; when you get them off, she's like a “Swan” before the makeover.
Look at me, Nate. You know
I'm all about reality, because no one would pretend this.
“I'll call you tomorrow,” Nate says as a token offering.
“I'll be out at the fabric store,” I say with more sharpness than I'd planned.
“That's okay. Just let me know when you're going, so I can set up the computer. You don't need to be there.”
I shake my head. “I can handle it. Dell color-codes it, and while color is not my expertise, I'm not completely oblivious. I can tell purple from green.” I start down the stairs and punch the wall.
Jerk.
Practice. Maybe that's what I was for Nate last night. A practice kiss, so he wouldn't screw up with Miss Shampoo! I stomp down to my loft and realize I don't want to go in there, but I hear my phone ringing. If it's Nate, I'm going to tell him where he can connect his computer!
“Hello?”
“Lilly, it's Morgan.”
“Oh Morgan, I forgot to call you today.” I have a brief blip of guilt, but it's soon buried under thoughts of Nana and Nate. “Thanks for the hair dryer. Your fabric for the gown is perfect.”
“Thanks, that means a lot if you like it. We'll work on the design this weekend, okay?”
“You're coming to the spa?” I ask, surprised.
“I wouldn't miss it, but I have a change in venue.”
“A happy one, I hope.”
“We're not going to Spa Del Mar.”
“Why not?” I ask, disturbed that my little world is being messed with.
Anything else?
“I can't get away to drive that far from San Francisco. So I know of a really quaint little place in the Napa Valley. I thought we were due for an upgrade. We're nearly thirty. We can afford a better spa.” She pauses for a minute. “Oh, I didn't meanâ”
“Morgan, get over it. I'm quite used to the fact that I'm the only person without money in the San Francisco Bay area. Do you know how many people offered me $20,000 today? What is up with that? People just have $20,000 sitting around.”
“It had nothing to do with money, Lilly. I meant I'm going to be married soon, and who knows how often we'll get these trips. It's time we upgraded.”
My annoyance has quietly disappeared.
“Max says my Nana is not well, so I'm glad we won't be far.”
“What's wrong with her?” Morgan asks.
“I didn't have the nerve to ask her. I'm not actually sure what's true, but if I asked her, you know she wouldn't tell me if she thought it would worry me. I know it has to be something fairly significant, or she would have used it to guilt me into a real job. Remember when she did that gout thing?
Oh
Lilly, I have the gout. I sure hope you'll have a job before it takes
me over.
I thought gout was worse than cancer until I went to work and Googled it!”
“You have to ask her what's wrong.”
“And
you
have to tell your father you're worthy of more than being a diamond mannequin, but we both have boundary issues, Morgan. That's why we meet at the spa, so we can whine and commiserate on what wimps we are.”
“
Touché
. You're planning to do gowns for you and Poppy, right?”
“I get to dress Poppy? Oh man, bring it on! I'm going to tell her I need a gauze skirt for sizing and then shred it for my own personal pleasure.” I'm picturing the before and after of Nicole Kidman, from frizzy-haired anorexic to glamour queen.
“By the way, I heard you made quite an impression on Stuart Surrey at my church, and I won't even comment on why you and Poppy were both there. I'm sure you were minding your own business.”
For the moment, thoughts of Nate with Miss Hair Extensions are left behind. “Who told you that? Did Stuart mention me?” Little giddy here. The man remembered me!
“I have my sources. You always were a sucker for those sorts. I should have known. English men are so pasty, Lilly. Really. Your taste.” She clucks.
I giggle at the thought. “Need I remind you that my crushes are not members of the AARP, nor do they qualify for the Denny's senior discount menu?”
“No, you're just into the snooty accent type.”
“He didn't seem snooty.”
“He's dating Caitlyn Kapsan. Did you meet her? I would assume you did because she doesn't much let him out of her fake-blue-eyed sight. She's tried to drag him into my father's store a million times, but he never takes the bait. I'm sure he couldn't afford it anyway. If she does manage to drag him anywhere, it will be to the mall jewelry store on credit, or on her own dime. Mark my words.”