Shem Creek (11 page)

“Had I missed something about her feelings? After all, it was Amy who had asked that we have lunch. She had made the reservation, chosen the provocative blouse she wore, and she who had doused herself in perfume that day. Amy was hot for me and I hadn’t even suspected it. Or
was
she hot for me?

“I took my seat again and continued to consider it. No, I began to
relish
the possibility. Someone was hot for me? Someone found
me
attractive? No, it was impossible. I was the most married, albeit frustrated, man I knew!”

“SNL did a skit modeled on Brad’s life called ‘The King of the P. Whipped,’” Robert said and snorted with laughter.

“Up yours,” I said to Robert and then looked quickly at Linda. “Sorry.”

“Puh-leeze!” she said, not offended in the least.

“Come on, man, tell her how you got hammered!”

“Okay, so, Albert, our captain, appeared at my side, placed a large scotch on the rocks right next to my okra soup and corn bread and said,
Mr. Jackson, on the house
. I said,
Did you hear my father-in-law? He must be insane!

“Albert held his small silver tray behind his back with both hands and said,
April.
And I said,
What are you talking about? April?

“I could see Amy coming toward us then.
Sir, Secretary’s Day is in April. This is November
.

“I just said,
Oh, shit.
So, old Albert held her chair for her and winked at me before leaving us to examine the calendar year and ruminate about its holidays.
I’m really sorry about Theo,
I said.
He’s a, pardon me for saying this, windbag of the first order and I don’t know why . . .

“Suddenly I was riveted to the rise and fall of her, um, chest? I just sat there wondering how they, um,
she
managed to be so lovely and why had I never noticed them, um,
her
before?”

“She just smiled at me and said,
Mr. Jackson?
I took a long drink and looked at her, trying to concentrate on the issue at hand and not become completely entranced by the curve of her full mouth. She was so young! I couldn’t help but wonder if she had ever been really
ravished
by a man before.”

“You’re a pig, Jackson!” Robert said, grinning from ear to ear.

“All men are pigs,” Linda said.

“Well, instead of asking her, I cleared my throat and got back to Theo, saying,
I mean, I don’t know where he gets off . . .
and she says,
Brad? You don’t mind if I call you Brad, do you? I mean, if you’d rather I didn’t . . .
Then, she reached across the table, her long red curls tumbling over her shoulder in this
holy hell
landslide of sensuality, and placed her hand over mine. I just looked at her hand there, laying over mine in a gesture that on any other day would have seemed to be just friendly concern.

“Such a young hand! Probably not a day over twenty-two. It was soft, silky in fact. Unlike Loretta’s hand, which wore the contents of Bailey Banks and Biddle and was tanned to a leathery finish, hers were naked of any jewels. So, then my brain starts driving me crazy! My head says
, Naked? Nice choice of words, Brad.
I knew I was heading for trouble if I didn’t take control of things. But, to tell you the truth, I didn’t
want
to take control of things with Amy.

“Our eyes met and I knew I was correct about her intentions. Where was this heading? All at once, I was thankful my hand wasn’t hairy and that it didn’t have liver spots.

“I said,
No, of course, uh, I mean, yes, you can call me Brad, why not? I call you Amy, don’t I? I mean, we’re not in the office, right?
I was telling myself, that’s it, man, keep the decorum thing working. But she can see I’m a bit of a wreck and she says,
Are you sure you’re all right?

“I sat up a little, sliding my hand away, and said,
Of course. I’m fine. I’m sorry about Theo. He’s an ass, that man, to think that I had you out here trying to seduce you. It’s outrageous! Don’t be mad at him
.

“Amy then said,
He’s just being protective of his daughter. And, anyway, it doesn’t matter.
She smoothed her napkin in her lap and picked up her fork, pairing a bite of her fried green tomatoes with the mozzarella burratta and the grilled Cippolini onions.”

“Leave it to you to remember exactly what she was eating!” Robert said.

“Whatever. So, she put it in her mouth as I scooped a spoon of soup. I watched her chew slowly and suddenly, God help me, everything about her seemed erotic. In my mind, we were already in a room at the Ritz-Carlton in Buckhead! Can you believe that? Here I am, this very married guy, one lunch with my secretary and I’m actually thinking about doing something so, so . . .

“But, I didn’t
do
it! Think about this . . . the one time in your life you actually get propositioned by some gorgeous young girl and you’re so out of it in your head, you can’t even pay attention to what she’s saying! I remember Amy leaned over and said,
Did you hear me? You’re not even listening, are you?
I was completely lost in this fantasy of actually, you know . . . but then, reality came crashing back and once more I was across from my secretary, the heretofore virtuous and demure Amy who had never done anything inappropriate in her life, as far as I knew. What was wrong with me?”

“Hello? You’re normal!” Linda said.

“Right! So I said,
I’m sorry, Amy, I was still thinking about killing Theo with my bare hands. Save your strength for better things,
she said.”

“Ha! Better things! Don’t you love that? Ah, God . . .” Robert could not contain his running commentary.

“Shut up, Robert! So I said,
What do you mean? Better things?
Was she going to announce some illicit intention? Not possible, I thought. And then she says,
Well, the merger you’re working on, the millions of things you’ve got coming up, you know. . . .

“God! She looked so innocent! Was she waiting for me to make the first move? But then, she said,
Your son? I mean, he must take a lot of energy, right?
I breathed a little easier then. See? Unfortunately and fortunately, she was a nice girl. Not some tramp looking for an older man to take care of her so she could acquire, God knows, whatever it was that girls of her age acquired. Anyway, I don’t know why I said it but I said,
Well, my son is a great disappointment to me, actually
. Don’t ask me why I told her that. Anyway, I remember taking several sips of water and she said,
What do you mean a disappointment?
Well! She began eating with this enthusiasm seldom displayed by the fair sex, slathering her bread with butter....

“
Get a grip, bubba!
I said to myself, and cleared my throat. So, I said,
Well, he’s so busy . . . I mean, when I was a boy I did all sorts of things with my father and my son has so many scheduled activities sometimes I feel like I hardly ever see him.
And she says something like,
Well, why don’t you just put him in the car and take him somewhere?
Anyway, I realized right then and there that I should have just demanded that Loretta make it possible for me to have more time with Alex. They finally bring the entrees and Amy is giving me all these looks and I am
still
wondering if she has, you know,
designs on my body,
and then I decided to just say very little, keep the conversation light and wait for her to make a move. Just act normal
.
She couldn’t be old enough to hold back her cards for long.

“I was right about that. It took about one minute. She’s cutting her steak and all of a sudden she says,
Can I ask you something, Brad?
And, I said,
Sure. Shoot.
So, Amy says,
Are you in love with your wife?
And, I said,
What kind of a question is that?

“About two seconds later she looked at me and said,
I see you looking at me and wondering what it would be like to make love to me.
Then I realized what a chicken shit I was because I launched into this whole speech about how I was committed to Loretta and how the commitment was the thing and how I had never stepped out on Loretta and all that stuff.”

“Wait!” Robert said. “Here’s the point to this whole story! Brad never laid a finger on Amy but he may as well have because Theo went right to Loretta and told her he had practically nailed Brad in flagrante delicto!”

“Pants down?” Linda said.

“You got it,” Robert said and laughed so loud and so hearty that we all laughed. “Come with me, Linda. Let’s get Louise to give us a sandwich. You want something, old man?”

“Nah, I’m good, thanks.”

“I don’t want bread,” Linda said, “counting carbs, you know. But I could go for soup?”

For the next few minutes, while Robert and Linda were away, I relived the rest of the conversation with Amy and how, at that moment I had wished I had the balls to take her up on her suggestion.

It had taken me a minute to catch my breath.

Please don’t do that, Amy. You’re the perfect secretary. My whole business would fall apart without you. You know that
.

I had looked at her for a long time and she stared at me. What had become of the world? Amy was a stunning young woman who could have had any man she wanted. Except me. I didn’t have the stomach for something as tawdry as an affair. I just wasn’t wired that way.

What are you thinking?
she had said.

Her light green eyes had sparkled with danger and mischief and I knew I would have been well advised to run like hell. I should have run like hell and laughed like hell at the same time. But all I had said was,
I think we had better get the check
.

I was combing my fingers through my hair. I remember that I leaned forward in my chair and tried to organize my thoughts before I spoke.
Amy. Listen to me. I think you are so beautiful, which I’m sure you already know, because everyone has probably been telling you that since you could understand what it meant. And . . .

She had me on the ropes with that. Of course, I had thought about it. Over the past few years, Loretta had only delivered the perfunctory variety of kisses—skin stretched over teeth—but that lack of wild passion wasn’t something that had kept me awake at night. I had grown accustomed to what we had and didn’t have.

Look, of course I have wondered what it would be like to sleep with someone else. I’ve been wondering about it intensely for the past few minutes. But that’s what you get when you sign on for marriage
—
that old till death do us part thing, you know? Virtue is its own reward crap? And, then there’s the office problem. You just can’t have an affair with someone who works for you
—
remember Monica? There are laws
—
stupid laws
—
but laws.

Like the song, right? Okay, enough said. For now, anyway
.

I put my fork and knife on my plate and smiled. She was right but she’d never hear me admit it. I had my high moral ground staked out and I wasn’t about to budge.

Had Amy ever called? No. Had anyone? Only Loretta when she didn’t want to act like a parent. I rarely saw Alex. Loretta saw to that. I was alone. Maybe that was the way things were meant to be.