Shelter Me Home (12 page)

“No, I mean, you were going to go hunt a wolf on your own because you didn’t want more trouble for me.”

“Whoa, there. Nobody said anything about me hunting a wolf so slow your sainthood application right on down. I was thinking more along the lines of setting up near the fence line and popping a few rounds in his direction to try and scare him off. Maybe stake out the place for a couple of hours so he doesn’t slip under the wire and take a cow.”

“Still, the nicest thing a girl has done for me.”

“Still sad,” she muttered. She slid the last bullet in the chamber and clicked the safety on.

“I’ll take care of it,” he said, shouldering the rifle. “Can you do me a favor?”

She stifled the groan that threatened to bubble from her throat. “What?”

“Keep her busy. Please.”

“By doing what, Aanon? Letting her fillet me until you come back? No thanks. I don’t go back for seconds if the food’s burnt.”

Anywhere else in the entire world would be better than willingly talking to Erin again. She would rather bathe under an outhouse. Naked. With her mouth open. The woman made her want to claw her own eyes out, and yet here was Aanon, with his pleading eyes and perfect pout, begging her to throw herself at the mercy of his half-rabid ex.

“I wouldn’t ask if there was another choice. I don’t feel comfortable you going out there. Not pregnant. I’ll knock fifty bucks off of next month’s rent.”

“Fine,” she said, clenching her nails into the palm of her hands until they stung. “And I’ll even do it for free. You won’t be able to cover child support if you keep knocking money off my rent payments. I saw the wolf where my ATV tracks stop. It’s muddy enough you should be able to see the freshest one without having to look too hard. He was running south across the clearing.”

She turned to leave, but he grabbed her elbow. “Erin says this place is a hellhole.”

Her ears burned with anger at the woman’s idiocy, but it wasn’t a question so she waited for more. When he offered none, she said, “If she can’t see the beauty in this place, she’s an even bigger moron than I thought. Don’t let her careless words taint the way you see it. It’s paradise here.”

He released her arm, and she trotted out of the barn before he could say more. The anguish in his eyes said more than words ever could.

Plastering on her least convincing smile, she held up her keys as she approached the porch. “You mind if I get something from the root cellar?”

Erin studied her through a catty glare, and Farrah sighed internally.

“Where’s Aanon?” Erin demanded.

“I don’t know,” Farrah answered. “He’s your man and not my responsibility, so you should probably be the one to keep up with him.”

She turned toward the barn, and Farrah threw open the front door, doing her damndest to take Erin’s attention away from the stables where Aanon was currently hoisting himself onto the biggest horse. “Do you know where it is?” Farrah asked. “If not, I can just go search the house until I find it.”

“I think it’s highly inappropriate for you to be in here,” Erin said, following her in.

Dodge chimed in, “I know how to get there!”

“You do? Do you also know where the carrots and potatoes are? I’m making a stew and I’ve never been down there before.”

“I do,” he said with a grin. “I’ll show you.”

Erin offered a crimson smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “Dodge, go play in mommy and daddy’s bedroom.”

The thought of Aanon and Erin sleeping in the same bed made her nauseous. “So, how long are you staying?” she asked as Erin led her toward the root cellar door. Not that she cared, but she’d always sucked at small talk when not behind a bar.

“As long as I want to,” came the silky reply.

“Great. This is it? Do you know where the potatoes and carrots are?”

“No, you little imbecile, I haven’t ever been down in that rat hole. Find what you need your damned self.”

“Excellent. Lovely chat,” she muttered, climbing a creaking ladder down.

Aanon was long gone, so she could go search the entire premises for him now. Unless Erin had sprouted tracking skills, she wouldn’t figure out where he’d gone. “Oh, what happened to your boyfriend? Daniel, was it?” she asked, peeking her head back above the top rung.

“I’m not seeing him anymore. My efforts would be better served here, don’t you think? Aanon will take me and Dodge back home when I’m good and ready. Maybe sometime next week.”

Fighting the urge to bang her head against the ladder she quipped, “Sounds like a fantastic plan.” Worst slumber party ever was more like it. “No need to wait on me, I’ll let myself out when I’m done.”

More glaring. “I don’t trust you alone in my house. I’ll wait here.”

“Great. I’ll be right back.” And by that, she meant an hour. Billy’s mom had left a book on canning down in the cellar where she could easily find it next season, and she would read the thing cover to cover before reemerging.

Erin’s threat had been hollow. By three in the afternoon, she’d escaped the homestead with Aanon at the wheel and Dodge clutching his rock in the back seat of the Chevy. Fresh air, bugs, and the smell of cattle weren’t for everyone.

Determined not to be anywhere in the area when Aanon returned home, she cut the log she’d hauled in and set out for town to beg a shift at Briney’s.

“Weather will be here soon,” Briney muttered ominously as she washed her hands in the sink near his office.

A flutter of worry hummed against her innards. Not for herself, but for Aanon’s long trip home. Hopefully he’d make it back before Briney’s weather prediction came to fruition. Stupid. Aanon didn’t need her worrying about him. That was Erin’s job.

Dinnertime would be a solemn affair around Briney’s if he hadn’t the ingenious foresight to offer bar food and sandwiches. Instead of being a ghost bar, customers trickled in if the diner down the street was full, or if they had a hankering for mixed drinks to wash their meals down with.

An hour into her shift, Ben waved as he came through the door and took a seat at the two-top table in the corner.

“Go on and take his order. I’ll tend the bar. The man’s been pestering me about when your next shift is for a couple of days now.”

“What does he want?” she asked, wiping her hands on a folded apron tied to her lap.

Briney’s mustache twitched. “Do I look like a gol-derned psychic to you?”

With a heavy sigh, she lifted the counter hatch and smiled at Ben. “What’ll you have?”

“I didn’t really come here to eat.” He lowered his voice. “I need to talk to you. When do you get off? We could catch a late meal at the diner.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why not?” he asked.

“Because,” she whispered, pointing to her belly. “I’m not in the best position to be dating anyone right now.”

“Oh. Well I wasn’t asking you out on a date. But if I was, dating someone is probably exactly what you need to be doing right now. Someone other than Aanon.”

With a frown at Briney, who was busy making drinks for a couple who’d just sat at the counter, she sank into the chair across from Ben and leaned forward. “What in the actual hell are you talking about?”

“You’ve made an enemy, Farrah, and one you don’t want. And trust me when I say, you don’t want any part of a feud with this one. Erin called me.”

“About what?”

“She asked me where your mom lived.”

Her mouth went so dry she had to swallow twice before she could answer. “Did you tell her?”

“Hell yes, I told her! She’s scary as a graveyard. Have you met the woman?”

“Dammit,” she whispered, leaning back into the chair to stare out the window.

“I came up here a couple of times to see if you were working so I could give you a heads up, but you weren’t in. I called Aanon this morning to try and get you a message, and he told me the damage was already done. Erin got what she wanted.”

“And what did she want?”

“Look, maybe you should talk to Aanon about all of this. It isn’t really any of my business, and I’m thinking maybe things are more complicated between you guys than I originally thought.”

“You made it your business when you shared information with that lunatic, Ben,” she growled. “Just tell me what she did.”

With a pained expression, he said, “She called the father of your child.”

She swallowed once. Twice. The betrayal was too much. Ben for giving information about her, Mom for outing Miles, Erin for attempting to ruin her life, and Aanon—Aanon should have been the one to warn her. “She called Miles?” Dread, as deep and dark as a well, pulled on her limbs until it was hard to move.

“That’s what Aanon told me, and he wouldn’t have any reason to lie. He sounded sick over it.”

Her lip trembled, and she pursed it to hide her hurt. “He should.”

The rest of the shift was a blur. She couldn’t name a single drink she’d made by the time she revved the four-wheeler and headed home. Unable to find it in her to blame Mom, she shifted gears and blared down the road that would lead to the homestead. If Ben couldn’t find the strength to fight Erin off her bone, Mom, who’d been too weak to ever lift a finger to protect her, hadn’t stood a chance.

Miles would come for her, but not because he loved her or wanted her back. He’d come for the baby. The thought of him raising her child with his wife brought bile to her throat, and she slowed. Flashes of family pictures without her ran through her mind on a loop, and she pressed her hand against the fluttering in her stomach. What kind of example could Miles set for a child? He couldn’t even be loyal to his own marriage.

Suddenly, everything was too green. Too vibrant, to engorged with melted snow, and the browns and yellows blurred across an Alaskan canvas. She stomped the brake, then stumbled from the machine and made her way to the tall reeds that lined the road. Gasping, she fell to her knees and gripped her stomach. Adoption seemed like a viable option until she thought of Miles with full custody of her unborn child. The hurt would be too great.

Her eyes tightly closed, she gritted her teeth against the urge to sob. That lying cheat didn’t deserve her tears. The low hum of an oncoming vehicle was only a minor annoyance. What she was dealing with was so much bigger than one of the neighbor’s seeing her moment of vulnerability.

Except it wasn’t one of the neighbors.

Aanon’s Chevy pulled to a stop behind her, and the door closed. The old truck creaked as it rocked out from under his weight and, in moments, a gentle hand was rubbing circles on her back. “Does the baby have you sick again?”

“No. Your girlfriend does.”

“Erin? She’s not my girlfriend and besides—”

“I talked to Ben! I know what’s she’s done.” Her voice hitched, and she gasped to try and steady herself. “She’s ruining my life, and for what? I do as she wants. I stay away from you, even though it kills me to do it. I watch you suffer so that you can see your son and when she says jump, I ask how fuckin’ high. Surely, I’ve done nothing to deserve this.”

He knelt down, and his steady hand went around the nape of her neck, massaging gently. “It kills you to stay away from me?”

“Not the point, Aanon.”

“She hasn’t told him you’re with child. Yet. If she did that too early, she wouldn’t have any leverage on you. On me.”

“What do you mean, on you?”

“I don’t want her telling him either. I don’t know everything about the situation, but if you think Miles will take your child or your options away, I don’t want him within a thousand miles of you.” A scratching sound drew her gaze. He ran a hand over the short, gold stubble of his jaw. His eyes were hollow, tortured. “Apparently Erin knows that.”

“She hasn’t told him about the baby?”

“I don’t doubt she talked to him, and I don’t know what she said, but she assured me she hasn’t mentioned your pregnancy.”

“So, she’ll hold that over us so that we’ll do as she says? She uses Dodge, and now she’ll use my child to keep you unhappy?”

Aanon stared off into the late evening sunset and gave a bare nod. “I don’t know how to feel. She gave me Dodge. A piece of me will always love her because she’s the mother of my child. I know it’s hard to understand, but I was there when she was different. When she held Dodge for the first time. Even now that she’s become so desperate to make me pay for accepting the homestead, it’s hard to get the past out of my head. I don’t care for her or respect the person she is anymore, but I don’t know how to hate her either.”

Well, she could probably hate her enough for the both of them, but he didn’t have to know that. “She talked to my mom.”

“I was wondering how she figured out about Miles. I didn’t think you’d be the one to spill information about him.”

In a ragged whisper, she said, “Maybe I should just tell him, and then she’ll lose that leverage. She’ll only have Dodge over you, and when you save up enough to take her to court, that’ll work itself out, too. I don’t know, maybe Miles should know.”

He stood and held out a hand to help her up. His rough palm was warm as she took it.

“I don’t think you should make a decision under pressure or because you think it’ll help me. You have to decide based on what you and your child need. Don’t worry about Erin. I’ll put her mind at ease about you and hope she backs off. Until then, think long and hard about the pros and cons of letting Miles in on this part of your life.”

“You fight so hard for Dodge. Do you think less of me for trying to keep my child from Miles?” The answer mattered.

“At first it upset me, before you told me what he’d done. My situation is different, though. I wouldn’t ever do that to someone I loved. He misused you, and he’s in a powerful position to make things really bad for you. I can see why you’d want to get your head together before you involve him. No, I don’t think less of you. You’re already a good mom.” His fingertips brushed her stomach, and the flutters there shook so hard she trembled and closed her eyes. “What you’re doing makes me think more of you.”

She cast her gaze up to the sad smile that crooked one corner of his lips. It likely matched her own. “If you want me to leave, tell me now before I fall more in love with this place.”

His fingers slipped to her waist, and he ran his thumb against the swell of her stomach. “Even if I can’t talk to you, working the homestead with you settles something in me I’ve been missing for a long time. It’s nice not to feel so alone. You know what’s going on with me and this really messed up situation I got myself into, and you haven’t run for the hills. It’s been such a relief to share the muck of my life with someone who isn’t judging me for it. I don’t want to go back to being empty again. I don’t want to look out my window, knowing you won’t be there. Don’t leave.”

“Me being here causes trouble for both of us though, Aanon.”

A deep seriousness swam in his eyes, and he shook his head. “I don’t care. I can’t ever have you, but I don’t want to lose you. If the most I get is watching you work the homestead, that’s okay. It’s better than nothing.” He lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “It’s better than I thought I’d ever have.”

Her throat was so tight it hurt, and she whispered, “Should I start dating Ben? Should I go out with him casually and take the spotlight off of us?”

Cupping her face, he splayed his legs and beseeched her with the vibrant blue of his eyes. The wind lifted the gold tendrils of his hair, and his eyebrows drew down as his jaw clenched. “No. I couldn’t stand it. Thinking about you with him—I just can’t.”

“So, I can’t have you, but I can’t date anyone else either?” She grimaced at the unfairness of it all. She wasn’t in a hurry to move on from Miles, but Erin controlling who she spent time with prickled her pride.

Aanon growled, a low and dangerous sound. “Dammit, can’t you see what you do to me? I don’t want Ben’s hands on you. I don’t want him feeling the baby move before I do and I don’t—”

She stood on tiptoe and kissed him. Clenching his jacket in an unbreakable grip, she let everything go. All of their problems could wait, but right now, her insides were knotted, and the only thing that would untie them was Aanon’s touch.

A moment’s hesitation, and then he dragged her closer, licking the seam of her lips, as if he was asking permission. With a trembling sigh, she parted her lips, and he lapped gently against her tongue with his.

His fire was catching. She was burning from the inside, and her knees went soft. His mouth moved against hers in an easy rhythm, and she fought the groan of ecstasy that bubbled from her throat. He was everything in this moment. Shelter, sustenance, warmth, safety.

Impatient fingertips worried the hem of her shirt, and heat filled her as his hands found the bare skin of her back. Without warning, he folded her into his arms and made for the brush of the woods.

She soared in the strength and purpose of his stride, and when they came to a giant pine, he set her down to run burning kisses down her jawline and neck. “I’ve been waiting so long to taste you,” he murmured.

Gently, she raked her fingers through his hair, brushed a thumb over his cheek. The stubble that shadowed his jaw rasped against her fingertips, and she pressed her hips against his. Never would she be close enough to him.

Desperate, her fingers pulled at the fly of his jeans, and as she brushed his taut lower abdomen, he inhaled sharply and closed his eyes for a brief moment like he’d never been touched before. God, he was beautiful.

He bucked against her hand and gathered her hair at the nape of her neck before giving it a gentle pull. Grazing teeth against her throat, he unzipped her jacket and cast it to the ground. The air was cool, but the warmth he was causing inside made up for it. She pulled his shirt over his head, then stroked and caressed the length of his shaft until he tensed.

So fast she gasped, he spun her and splayed her hands on the trunk of the great pine. With his erection pressed against her back, he reached around to brush the top of her leggings, touching just under the hem against her skin, and she heaved a great shuddering sigh. “Please,” she moaned.

“Farrah,” he gritted out. “Tell me to stop now or I won’t be able to.”