Shaxoa's Gift (35 page)

“What are you talking about?” I asked.

“You said all Claire has to do is drink the
potion freely and she’ll be fine. Did the Shaxoa know that for
sure, or was it only a guess?” Her face was impassive as she asked.
Mine gave in to worry, tightening against my will.

“It isn’t for sure,” I said tightly, “but
Samantha has studied this most of her life. She was sure the potion
was originally created for good. If Claire takes it because she
wants it, she’ll be fine.” There was more hope than confidence in
my voice. I had spent much of the drive back to San Juan worrying
about the effects of the potion. Quaile was no Shaxoa, but she did
seem to know a lot about their work. I had hoped her reaction would
be different, reassuring in some way.

Looking at me thoughtfully, Quaile didn’t
speak for several minutes. She waited as if weighing a very
important decision in her mind. Was she trying to judge Samantha’s
work and motivations? I was being forced to trust her because she
was the only one who knew enough to help me. For once, I needed her
to be honest, to tell me whether or not this was going to hurt
Claire.

Finally her body relaxed slightly. “I think
the Shaxoa was right. I don’t think Claire will be harmed if she
takes the potion willingly, which I believe she will.”

“Have you spoken to her about it?” I asked.
My stomach clenched as I thought of what Claire must have been
going through the past few days. I had to leave. There was no other
way, but leaving her again hurt me worse than being with her ever
had.

“No, I haven’t,” Quaile said, “but she has
made her feelings known. I can barely think of her without doubling
over in pain. I may not be as good at foretelling as I lead people
to believe, but I have always been very talented at sensing
distress. That’s why I live so far away from town. If I am too
close to people, I can feel their pain as strongly as they do. I
can barely function when I am surrounded by that. But no matter how
hard I try to stay away from Claire, I can still feel her pain. It
is unbearable. I’ve never felt someone else’s emotions so strongly.
I have never felt such anguish before.”

My heart stung at the mention of Claire’s
pain. Although, I was glad Quaile had been forced to share it. “No
doubt you feel her pain so strongly because you’re partly to blame
for what she’s going through,” I said. Quaile nodded miserably. I
was glad to know that Quaile wasn’t escaping the consequences of
her choices. Perhaps sharing in Claire’s pain would strengthen her
ability to empathize with the people she was supposed to be
guiding.

“I am sorry, Uriah,” Quaile said. “I handled
this badly. You have every right to blame me for what has happened.
The Elders have punished Thomas Brant for his part, but I am the
one they should be spurning. My pride has fooled me so many times
before, but never like this. I am so sorry, Uriah. I hope you will
forgive me one day.”

I sighed. In spite of my angry words I had
already forgiven her. “Quaile, I do forgive you,” I said. She
looked up at me, her face pursed in confusion. “No matter what lies
you told me, or what other information you kept back from me, you
gave me hope. After the bond formed between Claire and Daniel, I
felt so lost. I was going to let the Matwau kill me. If you hadn’t
told me about Samantha in Hano, I wouldn’t be here talking to you
now.

“You gave me hope enough to keep going, and
even if Samantha hadn’t been able to help me, the search, and
meeting Kaya and Samantha gave me the chance to think about what
I’d almost done. It would have been a horrible mistake. I see that
now. If for nothing else, I owe you thanks for keeping me alive,” I
said. “So thank you, Quaile, but I still expect you to repay me for
everything else you’ve done. I need your help now.”

“Of course, Uriah,” Quaile quickly agreed.
“What do you need me to do?”

“I need you to take this,” I said, offering
her the thermos. “Hold onto it for me. When Claire asks for it,
give it to her, please.”

“Why would she come to me? I’m the last
person she would ask for help after everything that’s
happened.”

Old frustration bubbled up. I didn’t want to
trust Quaile with this. I didn’t want to ask her for help either.
But I was out of options, and soon, Claire would be too. “When
Claire runs out of people to ask for help, she’ll come to you
because she’ll be desperate. But even if she doesn’t, you have to
be the one to offer her help.”

Quaile grimaced. We both knew how much she
enjoyed offering help, but in the end, she nodded. “If she doesn’t
come soon, I will tell her I’ve found something that might help
her.”

“When she comes,” I warned, “don’t pressure
her in any way. That is extremely important, Quaile. Put aside
whatever feelings you might have, and let her make the choice. You
don’t know what Claire wants no matter what you think. Only she can
know what her heart truly feels.”

“I promise, Uriah. I will let her choose with
no influence from me.” Quaile accepted the thermos warily, acting
as though she thought it would jump up and bite her. I suppose she
would have handled anything like that if she thought it was made
from evil. I had no time to explain why Samantha believed it could
be used as an agent of good just as easily as pure evil. Quaile
would just have to trust me. Which was scary since trust didn’t
come very naturally to her.

“Do you have one for yourself?” Quaile asked
suddenly.

“A potion? No,” I said.

“But how will you rescue your Twin Soul
without giving in to the bond? You can’t expect Claire to drink
this only to be told later that you found someone else,” Quaile
said.

“We’ll come to that when we come to it,
Quaile. I could only make the potion for Claire. If I need a potion
as well, I can’t make it for myself. Claire will have to do it for
me, and I know she will, if it comes to that,” I said. “I don’t
plan on letting myself be taken in by the Twin Soul bond. I’ll
fight it just as hard as Claire has been fighting hers.”

Guilt bubbled up, begging me to change my
mind about seeing Claire. I wouldn’t put her in danger. There was
no telling what the Matwau would decide to do if Claire was
standing right in front of him. His creatures weren’t limited like
he was. I pulled a scrap of paper out of my back pocket and handed
it to Quaile.

“Kaya wanted to speak with you. If you have
any concerns about the potion you can talk to her and Samantha
about them,” I said. Quaile took the paper. Her face was skeptical.
“You could learn a few things from them, Quaile. I trusted them
enough to bring the potion back. You should trust them too.”

Quaile nodded her head. She stared at the
thermos in her hands. “Are you sure you trust them enough to ask
Claire to drink this?” she asked.

“Yes.”

“What about Daniel?”

“He’ll probably forget the bond as soon as
Claire drinks this. He’ll remember meeting Claire, and everything,
but I think everything he felt for Claire will just start to fade.
He’ll be fine,” I said.

Quaile set the thermos on the table next to
her. Stepping toward me, Quaile looked unsure of what to do next.
She settled with patting my shoulder gently. “Be careful, Uriah.
I’m sorry I don’t have anything more helpful to offer you,” she
said. For once, I believed her. “Come back to Claire. She needs
you.”

“And I need her,” I said.

Quaile’s hand dropped, and I turned away to
hide the tears in my eyes. I had nothing left to say. I walked out
of the house, the old door banging closed behind me, and went
straight to my motorcycle. I pulled the link of fear to the front
of my mind and brought the bike’s engine to a roaring start.

“Please wait for me, Claire,” I whispered to
the desert sky. “Please wait for me.”

Dust flew around me as I left San Juan one
more time. For the last time.

29: Wrong

I pushed the door open and sprinted to the
truck. Flinging my bag into the passenger’s seat, I climbed into
the cab. What my dad told me, it scared me almost as much as the
thought of losing Uriah. It frightened me enough to push the bond
away almost completely. I jammed the keys into the ignition,
determined to see Quaile if it killed me. The old motor groaned and
whined as it nudged itself awake. Rocks and dust billowed behind me
as I pulled onto the road.

Bouncing along the roads that led to Quaile’s
house, I rehearsed what I would say to her. My imagination ran
wild. Everything from begging her on my knees to slapping her in
the face played out in my mind. I reminded myself of every tidbit I
had been told since waking up. Every lie, every half-truth and
omission, every betrayal was etched in my mind.

I would drag every one of them out and toss
them in her face if I had to. She owed Uriah for what she had done
to him, and she owed me for taking him away from me. Uriah made
every decision with me in mind. I treasured how thoughtful he was,
but on occasion his thoughtfulness outweighed common sense. He
should never have left me behind. It was rare that he was wrong
about anything, but this was one of those times. How did he expect
me to fight the Twin Soul bond without him near me, without his
arms wrapped around me and his lips whispering how much he loved me
whenever I needed to hear it?

Knowing how manipulative Quaile could be, I
wondered whether the idea of leaving me behind had been Uriah’s at
all. If Quaile thought it best that I was left to fend for myself,
she would have done her best to see it happen. She told me to my
face that I had to fight this alone. It was hard to imagine Uriah
bending to her will, but he had left San Juan at her suggestion. My
pondering of that question was cut short when I pulled up to
Quaile’s forlorn looking house.

I turned off the engine and sat staring at
her front door. Suddenly every scenario, every practiced speech
melted right out of me. If she refused to tell me where he was,
what could I really do? Shaking my head, I reached for the truck’s
door handle. I would worry about that later, if I had to at all.
Steeling myself for a battle, I got out of the truck and walked up
to Quaile’s front door.

I raised my hand to knock, but the door
cracked open first. Quaile stared at me with the strangest
expression. It was a mix between pain, relief, and anxiety. Usually
either calm or angry, this strange expression made me step back.
Quaile hesitated before opening the door and stepping aside.

“Come in, Claire,” Quaile said. “I’ve been
expecting you.”

My face wrinkled in confusion. She was acting
like she had been waiting for me, when she was the one who told me
I was on my own, blatantly refusing to help me in any way. She
wouldn’t even answer my phone calls. Assuming that she was merely
trying to pretend she hadn’t been avoiding me, I ignored her odd
demeanor and stepped past her.

“Expecting me? You knew I would come?” I
asked.

Shutting the door firmly, Quaile stalked
across the room and sat at her kitchen table. She motioned for me
to follow her. Pushing down even more irritation, I took the chair
across from her. Quaile settled herself and brought her piercing
gaze to rest on me. I couldn’t help but draw back, just a tiny bit.
Her eyes could be very unsettling.

“You’ve been pestering Uriah’s mother for
answers. She fears and respects me too much to ever betray me. I
knew you would show up here eventually,” she said. “Who else would
you go to when Lina refused? I’m the only other choice.”

My face screwed into a haughty sneer. “Now
that’s not true, Quaile, is it?”

“What do you mean?” she snapped.

I just glared at her. I wasn’t ready to play
that card yet. I would get as much out of her as I could without
revealing what I knew. Getting her to talk would be difficult, but
I knew that whatever I did manage to squeeze out of her on my own,
there would certainly be more she was hiding. That’s when I would
tell her what my dad told me.

“Why are you here?” Quaile asked angrily.

I gathered every grain of courage I had left.
Before getting into everything else, there was one answer I needed
more than any other. “I want to know where Uriah is.”

“He’s travelling right now. I’m sure he’ll
call when he can.” There was a certain edge to Quaile’s smug
defiance, but I had no idea what it was.

“Where did you send him, Quaile? I have the
right to know,” I said.

“If he wanted you to know where he was, he
would have told you himself,” Quaile said. She shifted her skirt
unnecessarily.

“He thinks he’s protecting me by not telling.
That was your idea, no doubt,” I said. “I need to know, Quaile. I
have to be with him right now.”

“I didn’t persuade Uriah into keeping what he
was doing secret. He made that decision on his own and I will
respect his wishes, Claire,” Quaile said.

“But he doesn’t understand, Quaile. He
doesn’t know how hard this is for me. He’s always thought I was
stronger than I really am. I can’t do this by myself,” I said.

“The strength to withstand the Twin Soul bond
has to come from you, Claire. You can’t depend on Uriah to pull you
through this. You have to do it on your own. I told you that
already. Nothing has changed.”

“What do you know about this?” I shouted.
“Nothing! When was the last time you had to force yourself to go
against what every cell in your body was telling you to do? When
was the last time you spent every second of your days and nights
holding back tears because you couldn’t face another minute of the
battle raging between your head and your heart? What gives you any
right to tell me how I’m
supposed
to handle this?”

Quaile stared at me. Lips pressed into a thin
line, Quaile brought her hands together for a brief moment before
returning them to her lap. “I know more about this situation than
you ever will, Claire,” she said.