Shattered Moments (16 page)

August
1779

Virginia

Keeping away from Diana proved much harder than Sam anticipated.  She always seemed to be there, now dressed in a more modest gown and with a frilly cap covering her auburn curls, but no amount of cloth could cover up the look in her eyes.  They followed him around wherever he went, caressing him and taunting him, adoring him and tantalizing him, especially when she dropped her gaze to his breeches and innocently licked her lips.  Thankfully, no one seemed to notice as Diana picked her moments carefully, playing the role of the reformed whore to the hilt.  She went out of her way to help Mrs. Mallory, make an ally of the girls, and bond with Abbie and Martha over the joys of motherhood.  Sam did his level best to keep Susanna away from the main house and oblivious to Diana’s intentions, but it was getting harder and harder. 

He hadn’t been alone with her since that
time in the barn, and he planned to keep it that way, despite the fact that she was invading his dreams and leaving him panting with desire.  He wished his wife would notice his desperate state, but she was too tired and preoccupied with Ben, her body bursting with new life and her belly growing larger by the day.  Sam didn’t dare trouble her at a time like this, taking his father’s advice and leaving her alone.  Diana, on the other hand, bloomed brighter with every passing day.  Plenty of good food and fresh air put the color back into her cheeks and some flesh onto her thin frame, making her look radiant and full of life. 

Only yesterday
, when Sam had come by to bring some cream from the springhouse, she was sitting on the bench by the house, somnolent in the afternoon sun, Nat dozing in her lap.  Diana’s eyes opened wider, her lips curling into a coy smile as she unlaced her bodice slowly, her gaze never leaving Sam’s face.  She exposed her full breast, giving him an eyeful of the rosy nipple before putting Nat to her breast, his cheeks puffing out as he sucked greedily, his little hands holding on to the luscious breast for dear life.  He hadn’t realized she was still nursing him, but then some women nursed longer than others.  Sam nearly moaned with misery as he tore his gaze away and strode into the house, hoping that his mother and sisters wouldn’t notice the very obvious bulge in his breeches. 

Dear God, why was she tormenting him this way?  Something had to be done to rectify this situation, and it had to be soon, before he either lost all control
, or Diana did something to ruin his life permanently.  She obviously meant either to have him or hurt him, and he wouldn’t let her have her way. 
He’d kill her if she did anything to hurt Sue
, he thought viciously as he slammed the can onto the table and strode from the house without saying a word.  He had sinned and deserved whatever punishment was coming to him, but Sue’s only sin had been to love him and trust him, and he would do nothing, NOTHING, to betray her trust.  Sam walked past Diana without acknowledging her presence and felt her eyes burn a hole in his back. 
Damn her
, he thought.

**

It was the following evening when Sam came in from the fields to find Diana seated across the table from Susanna, daintily sipping at a cup of tea and picking at a piece of crust left over from her pie.  She smiled a warm welcome as Sam came in, the reaction not lost on his wife. 

“Diana, what a surprise to see you here,” he said, taking off his hat and kissing Susanna on the cheek.  “Where’s Nat?”

“Oh, he’s with Sarah and Annie.  They’re like two mother hens, clucking over him day and night.  It’s so nice to have some help.  I hardly see him at all, except for feedings,” she added meaningfully, her eyes meeting Sam’s in an open challenge.  “Does Sam like to watch you nurse Ben, Susanna?  I hear some men find that to be quite arousing.”  She giggled prettily at Susanna’s look of surprise, but quickly dropped her eyes in mock embarrassment, her hand flying to cover her mouth.  “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.  Sometimes I forget myself.”

“More often than not,” Sam mumbled, taking a seat at the table as Susanna put a plate of mutton and boiled potatoes in front of him. 

“Well, I best be going and leave you to your domestic bliss,” Diana purred, lazily rising from the table.  “Thank you so much for the tea and the chat, Sue.  Let’s be sure to do it again soon.  I don’t see nearly enough of you, with you tucked away here in your cozy little house.”  Diana looked out the window, a look of concern creasing her brow.  “It’s quite dark outside.  I’m afraid I still get a bit disoriented when walking at night.  It’s not like New York where there are proper streets and light spilling from the windows to light the way.  It does get pitch dark here, doesn’t it?”

“Sam, would you please walk Diana back to the house?” Susanna asked, throwing him an
apologetic look.  She didn’t look too pleased with the idea of Sam being alone with her in the dark, but manners prevailed, and she smiled warmly at Diana, thanking her for the visit and inviting her to come again soon. 

Sam gulped down the last of his meal before getting to his feet and following Diana into the inky darkness of the summer night.  The air was fragrant with the smell of warm earth, summer flowers and pine from the forest.  It was warm and balmy with not a trace of a breeze to
dispel the heat of the day.  The night was alive around them, with the sound of chirping crickets and frogs croaking their hearts out by the stream, the rustling of leaves overhead a soothing whisper despite the lack of wind.  They walked in silence for a few moments, Diana waiting for Sam to say something, and Sam striving for control as he tried to keep a tight rein on his anger. 

“What do you want?” he finally asked, his voice low and menacing, even to his own ears.

“I want you,” she answered simply, her hand reaching for his before he had a chance to snatch it away.  Sam carefully removed her hand, coming to a stop and turning to face her, his eyes blazing in the darkness.

“I’m not there for the taking, am I?  I have a wife and a son
, and another child on the way.”

“You have two sons,” Diana replied without any sarcasm or accusation.  She was simply stating a fact, a fact that she needed him to acknowledge.

“So, he’s mine?”

“Of course he is.  If that brother of yours has a prick, he still hasn’t figured out what to do with it, poor lad.  He looks so like you, but he lacks the fire that burns in your belly, Sam Mallory, and I like your fire.”

Sam felt a fire in his belly, but it wasn’t the kind she was hoping for.  He was furious, his hands curling into fists and uncurling again as he realized what he was doing.  He could hardly hit the woman, tempted though he might be.

“Diana, I might be many things, but liar isn’t one of them.  I paid you for sex, like the rest of your clients.  I made no promises or spoke any words of affection.  You have no claim on me.” 

Diana cocked her head to the side, openly studying him and smiling as if she alone knew some great secret.  “Well,
Patrick
, I wouldn’t say you’re not a practiced liar.  You’d have to be, wouldn’t you, to do what you do.  You deceive people without thinking twice and squeeze them for information, which is all for a good cause, of course,” she added with a sly grin.  “As far as promises and words of love go, those are still to come if you let me make you happy, and I
can
make you happy.  Look at you standing there, all tense with fury coursing through your veins.  Wouldn’t you rather put all that fire to good use?  I won’t tell her, I promise.  All I want is for you to take me, right here, right now.  I’ll make you forget why you were so angry in the first place,” she purred, inching closer to him, her hand reaching out toward his face.  Sam grabbed her wrist, making her cry out in pain.

“I won’t let you manipulate me this way.  I’m a man, not an animal; I can control my urges.  I want you gone from here,” he snapped, turning his back on her.

“And what about your son?”

“My son is sleeping in his cot next to my wife.”  Sam’s shoulders slumped a little as he realized the cruelty of his words.  It wasn’t the boy’s fault, was it?  Whether he wanted it or not
, he sired that child, and now he had to have a care for him.

“Diana, you are a beautiful, clever girl.  Find yourself a good man who will marry you and take good care of you and Nat,” he said, turning to face her again.  Sam was surprised to see the venom in her face at his suggestion.

“Marriage is just another form of prostitution,” she spat out, “I won’t be a slave to any man.”

“I wouldn’t think my wife thinks of herself as a whore or a slave to me,” Sam replied, confused by her reaction.

“Well, she’s a lucky one, isn’t she, to have such a kind and devoted husband.  Not all women are wed to men who care for them or remain faithful.  Do you know how many loving husbands frequent brothels, husbands who often return to their wives riddled with the pox?  I’d rather take their money and keep my freedom if it’s all the same to you, and be mistress of my own destiny.”

“Is being alone, penniless
, and hungry, with a small child the destiny you were hoping for?” Sam fired back, angry again.

“I won’t be penniless for long, and we’re not finished, you and I.” Diana stormed off into the darkness, her shape swallowed by the shadows after a few minutes as Sam just looked after her, baffled and frustrated.  What in holy hell was he supposed to do? 

Sam stomped across the meadow, anger coursing through him like poison.  Diana’s last comment to him sounded like a threat, and he had to admit that he was nervous.  He’d made it clear that she wouldn’t get his love, but now maybe she wanted something other than affection; she wanted revenge, although he couldn’t imagine what he’d done to her to cause such fury.  Yes, he’d rejected her, but he never promised her anything.  It had been a simple business transaction – money for sex.  He hadn’t been in the habit of frequenting brothels, but he’d been alone in New York for months, and he’d been lonely.  He’d been in no position to start any kind of romantic entanglement, and Diana had been placed in his path by people from the Committee.  They’d had a few romps, nothing more.  To think that she’d carried a torch for him all this time and had his child was baffling.  Had she allowed herself to get pregnant in the hope that he would be guilted into marrying her? 

Sam suddenly stopped, the realization hitting him like a
brick.  She’d said that any woman wanted to have a child with the man she loved.  She’d fallen in love with him and nursed her feelings for months; allowing hope to blossom in her chest, especially during the months of pregnancy in the hope that he returned her feelings.  He’d been kind and respectful to her, always bringing her flowers or a bag of sweets he bought along the way.  He hadn’t meant to give her any notions, but few men treated her like with kindness, and she mistook his attention for love.  What a fool he’d been.  And now she came here in the hope of a future, only to find him married with a child of his own.  “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned,” Sam whispered into the night, quoting a line from William Congreve’s play
Love for Love
.  He sighed and walked on, eager for his bed.

The door to the bedroom was firmly shut, Susanna already in bed.  She didn’t respond when he called out to her, but turned her back as soon as he got into bed
, pretending to be asleep.

“Sue, are you
angry with me?” he asked, puzzled.

Susanna flipped over, her eyes blazing in the darkness as she stared him down, her nostrils narrowing as she sucked in air in an effort to regain control over her feelings.  “Am I angry?  Oh, yes, I’m angry.  That woman, if you could call her that, came to my house, sat at my table, and oohed and aahed over my
child, all the while sneaking peeks at the door every few minutes in the hope that you would walk through it.  I see the way she looks at you, the knowing smile playing about her lips.”

“Sue,” Sam imp
lored, but she pushed his hand away.

“I might not have had much experience before I met you, but I’m not a fool, Sam.  You’ve been with her before, and it’s quite possible that you’ve been with her again.  Now, get out of this bed before I kick you out and go sleep in the other room.”

“Sue, I…” Sam began, but she cut him off, her voice shaking with emotion.

“I don’t want to hear it, Sam, not now.  I need time to calm myself before I can deal with this, but if I find out that you’ve so much as laid a finger on her, there’ll be hell to pay.  Is that clear?”

“Crystal,” Sam retorted, grabbing his pillow and striding from the room.  “Good night,” he called over his shoulder, his tone dripping sarcasm.

August
1626

Virginia

The sun was fiercer than ever, the smell of manure and hay strong in his nostrils when Kit woke up, his head pounding and his stomach heaving mercilessly as bright lights exploded before his eyes, blinding him and making him dizzy.  He was covered in straw, and for one brief moment, he couldn’t remember why he was in the barn or why he got blind drunk the night before.  The memory came flooding back as he stumbled outside and threw up, more from misery than from a hangover.  He’d have to go back to the house eventually, but the thought of facing Louisa was more than he could handle.  The look on her face when she found out about him and Buckingham was something he couldn’t erase from his mind.  It had been a combination of shock, disgust, fear, and worst of all, betrayal.  And he deserved it, every bit of it.  He would have to face her eventually, but not in the state he was in.  He needed to clear his head, come up with a plan, and somehow find a way to regain control of the situation, even if only superficially.  Crawling back home with his tail between his legs would only make things worse, and she would despise him for his weakness and lack of self-control. 

But, h
e couldn’t hide out in the barn forever, so Kit washed his face and hands, ran his fingers through his tangled hair and brushed the straw from his clothes.  He would go into town and meet Charles at the docks.  At least he wouldn’t be here where he could run into Louisa at any moment.  She needed time to think, and he needed time to regain whatever dignity he could muster, what little of it he had left.  He saddled his horse and vaulted into the saddle, his head nearly exploding as the horse galloped over dry, packed earth, each hoof beat echoing in Kit’s brain.

Kit was surprised to see all the frenetic activity in Jamestown. 
It was just going on noon, so most people were usually at home, having their midday meal and taking a little rest before returning to their chores and working straight through the afternoon until they could return home for supper.  Everyone seemed to be rushing toward the docks; kids whizzing past him as he tried to make his way through the crowd without trampling anyone.  Kit finally gave up, left his horse by the tavern, and continued on foot, finding it easier to weave through the growing crowds.  Everyone was gawking at something laid out on the dock, ladies gasping and covering their mouths in shock.  Kit could see Charles’s tall figure at the front, his face a mask of shock.  Kit was finally able to elbow his way to the front, his eyes falling on the object of everyone’s attention. 

He was lying on his back, his clothes soaked and covered with bits of seaweed and muck,
a pool of water forming beneath him as it dripped from his soggy coat and breeches.  His round head was pink and nearly bald without its elaborate wig, which was lying next to the body and resembling a drowned animal.  The face was badly disfigured, beaten to a pulp and nibbled by fish, but Kit knew without doubt that it was Deverell.  He was bloated, so he must have been in the water for some time before someone finally fished him out, probably this morning.  Kit’s eyes met Charles’s in mute inquiry.  Charles just shrugged in response and shook his head in dismay. 

“Who would do such a thing?” he asked.  “His purse is sti
ll there, so he wasn’t robbed.”

“Perhaps he was drunk and fell in
,” Kit suggested.  He tried to arrange his features into some semblance of shock or grief, but all he felt was overwhelming relief that flooded through him like water through desert sands.  Deverell was dead, and Kit’s secret died with him. Charles shook his head at Kit’s suggestion.  “He was beaten severely.  His skull is bashed in on the other side.  This was no accident, Kit.” 

Kit opened his mouth to reply when a terrible shriek tore
through the crowd, causing them to part.  Mrs. Deverell stood at the end of the human tunnel, her face frozen with terror and disbelief.  “Oh, dear God,” she murmured.  “He’s dead.  He’s really dead.”  Kit wasn’t sure if she was lamenting her husband’s passing or trying to convince herself that he was really gone for good, but he remained quiet, keeping his distance from the body.  Thank God no one had heard him threaten Deverell the other day, or they would think he was responsible.  Kit nearly keeled over, suddenly realizing that Louisa might think just that.  He had motive and could have found the opportunity, especially since he hadn’t slept at home last night, and as far as he knew, no one had seen him. 

Sir George Yardley was already pushing through the crowd, offering his deepest condolences to Mrs. Deverell and calling for anyone who might have seen or hear
d something.  Kit stumbled from the quay, eager to get away.  This was all too much to take in.  He suddenly, desperately, wished for Alec, knowing that he would give him good counsel and help, if necessary.  Alec was his closest friend in the world, and suddenly Kit’s vision was blurred, his guts on fire with acute misery.  Why did this terrible thing have to happen?  He thought he’d been free and clear, but now it was all coming to haunt him, and there was no place to run or hide.  Sir George would launch an investigation into Deverell’s death, and Kit’s dealings with Deverell might become public knowledge, especially since Deverell mentioned some document that he left in the possession of his wife.  What if this was far from over and only just beginning?