Shattered Heart (The Hart Series) (6 page)

While I twirl my
phone over and over again in my hand, I fight the urge to call him.  I know I’m
doing the right thing by not, but that doesn’t mean I can’t pretend to talk to
him while staring at his pictures in my phone.  I removed the picture of us in
San Diego as my screensaver, but I can’t bring myself to delete it completely. 
Its times like these when I need a reminder, a reminder of happier times. 

Without words, I
stare at his dimply smile; the smile that makes this all worth it.  So, for now
I continue to fight the urge to call him because I know it would end badly. 
I’d end up pushing him away again after saying something awkward and completely
contradictory.  He has enough to worry about without having to deal with my
inconsistencies. 

I walk to my
cold, empty bed.  I curl into a ball and soak in my sadness as I clutch my
yellow post it to my chest. 
I miss you too, Alex.  More than you’ll ever
know.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

The shrill ring
of my cell phone is
not
how I wanted to wake up on my Saturday morning. 
I’d finally fallen asleep somewhere between midnight and four a.m., not really
keeping tabs on the time in between the tears and tossing and turning.  With a
groan, knowing that I haven’t had nearly enough sleep, I am seriously irritated
when I see that it’s only six.  But with the thought that something might be
wrong, I peek over at my phone and nearly have a panic attack when I see a
picture of Bryan flash across my screen.

“Bryan…is
everything okay?  Is Rachel okay?”  Answering the phone in a panic, it takes a
minute before my breath finally catches up to me.

“Calm down spaz,
everything’s fine.  But, you do need to wake the hell up.  I’ll be there in
twenty, so rise and shine, E.”

What the…
 “Where in the
world would we go at six in the morning, Bryan?  I’m sleeping, so unless
someone’s dying, don’t you dare come over here.”  Rolling over, I pull my
covers over my head. 

“If you aren’t
dressed and ready to go by the time I get there, I
will
drag your ass
out of bed.” 

“Bry-yan…”  My
last whining plead is discarded with the sound of nothingness when the line
disconnects.  I lie in bed contemplating, trying to argue and stomp my feet,
but realize how useless that would be.  Bryan would end up throwing me over his
shoulder, kicking and screaming if he had to.  But then it hits me.  Maybe he
needs my help with Rachel?  Maybe something is wrong.  No…he would have told
me.  Either way, those powerful thoughts are enough to kick my ass in gear. 
I’d do anything for my sister.  Even deal with her relentless other half.

Still, it is six
in the morning, so as much as I would love to jump out of bed and be all perky,
I am me and clearly still not a morning person.  I don’t do perky.  Instead, I
pace myself and hesitantly get out of bed and head toward the bathroom to wash
my face and brush my teeth.  After pulling my hair into a messy ponytail, I
dress in some faded blue jeans and plain blue t-shirt. 

By the time
Bryan arrives, entering through my door with a key I didn’t know he had (thanks
Rach), I’m in the process of putting on my socks and shoes.  His tall bulky
frame casually stands in my doorway wearing a pair of baggy jeans and a graphic
t-shirt. 

“Thank God
you’re out of bed.  I really didn’t wanna drag you, but I was ready for the
fight.”  And just to prove his point, his stance widens, arms pulled up close
to his chest.  Of course that doesn’t last long before he’s doubled over in a
laughing fit, his auburn hair draped over to cover his face, hiding both of his
reddened cheeks.  “Ready to go?”

“Where exactly
are we going?  Is Rach here?”

Grabbing me by
the elbow, he drags me to the front door.  “Nope, it’s just the two of us, lil
sis.  Come on.” 

“Can we at least
stop for coffee on our way to wherever it is you’re dragging me to?”

“You won’t need
coffee.  The adrenaline will be enough to wake your ass up!” 

Oh shit. 
Adrenaline? 
Suddenly
nervous, I ask, “What
are
we doing, Bryan?”

“The boys wanted
to go paintballing.  Considering how moody you’ve been lately, I thought it
might do you some good.” 

You’ve got to be
joking.  Paintball?  In what world would he think
I
would like
paintballing?

Note to self: Get my key back
from my sister.

~~~~~

Apparently there’s
a giant warehouse on the south end of town where all of the paintball junkies
frequent.  I’m quietly listening to Bryan inform me that “Plastered” is where
he and his buddies go for their paintball excursions.  Tuning him in and out as
I stare out the window, I caught the tail end of how the business does quite
well for itself and attracts enthusiasts from the neighboring states, mostly
Utah and California.  Personally, I’ve never understood the appeal.  I’ve seen
the welts and bruises on Bryan’s thighs and arms and if he thinks I’m willingly
getting involved, he has another thing coming.

Pulling up in
front of the almost empty dirt parking lot, a large black Expedition pulls up
next to us.  As if on cue, all four doors open and four guys come bounding from
the open doors.  They’re all in their late twenties, early thirties, and they
look just as excited as Bryan does.  Oh, and did I mention they are
all
freaking hot. 
Shit. 
If I knew we’d be hanging with his extremely
attractive friends, I may have put a little more effort this morning. 
Thanks
for the heads up, big bro.

I try to smooth
my messy ponytail as Bryan puts his hand on my shoulder.  “E, these are the
guys.”  Starting at the left, he points as he speaks “Sam, Josh, Travis, and
Travis’ younger brother Trevor.”  I give a small smile and a wave as all four
men stand staring at me.  “Guys, this is Rachel’s sister, E.”  Giving a knowing
glance over to Bryan and then back to me, I feel like I’m missing insider
information.  If I’m not mistaken, there was somewhat of a sympathetic look in
their eyes.  I feel like I’m the main attraction, like I’m supposed to perform
a trick.  It’s not an uncomfortable feeling, more so that they know more about
me than I do about them. 
Great…

Sam is shorter
than the other three and must be the oldest of the group.  He’s stocky with
dark hair and his morning stubble is prominent against his olive skin.  Josh is
the same height as Bryan, 6’2’’, but much smaller in size.  Although lanky, his
lean muscles are obvious through his tight shirt and I’m immediately drawn to
the tattoos peaking out of his sleeve.  His spiky blonde hair and light blue
eyes match his light skin tone and blindingly white smile. 

Travis and
Trevor have similar features.  Although Trevor looks to be the youngest, he’s
bulkier than his brother and about an inch taller.  Both men have dark brown
hair; Travis has longer hair which is tied at the nape of his neck.  I’ve never
liked long hair on guys, but Travis definitely pulls it off.  It might help that
he’s built like a tank and dresses well.  Even in fitted boot cut jeans and a
tank top, he’s casual yet deliciously hot.

Trevor shows his
younger side with a short faux hawk and both of his ears are pierced.  His
flawless white teeth are the first thing I notice when he smiles as my eyes
meet his.  Trevor is the only one wearing a long sleeved shirt and cargo pants,
and considering the chill in the morning air, I’m going to venture he’s the
smartest.  But, I’m definitely not going to clue him in to my observation.  He
seems to have enough cockiness to last a lifetime.  

With no signs of
shyness, Trevor attaches himself to my side and puts his arm around my
shoulders.  “Fresh meat.  The guys inside are going to have a field day with
you.  But, don’t worry your pretty little head off, I’ll protect you.”  Like I
said, enough to last a lifetime.

Pulling me out
of Trevor’s muscular arms, Travis drags me to stand between him and Bryan. 
“You can’t protect yourself, let alone E, dickhead.  Let the men worry about
her.  The rest of you, just try not to let them light your asses up this time.”

Punching his
brother in the arm, Trevor attempts to defend himself, “Hey, I was sick last
time and we still won.”  There’s definite sibling rivalry, but underneath their
brass exterior, you can’t miss the love while they chastise each other.  It’s a
nice and relaxing feeling to be around the brothers.  Having an older sister, I
didn’t have enough time to develop that competitiveness.    She was my sister
for what felt like moments before she was my mom; therefore our relationship
will never be as easy as these two.  But, I’m not complaining.  Our
relationship is rewarding in its own respect.

Laughing and
oddly quiet, Sam and Josh follow closely behind us as we head inside, almost
like I’m being shielded.  Entering the building, we immediately walk up thirty
steps or so.  When we do, I’m caught by the sheer size of this place.  It’s
huge and being this high up, we’re able to see the different obstacle courses
spread across the vast space splattered in an array of different colors.  Not
gonna lie.  It’s intimidating.  With that thought, I cling to Bryan’s elbow. 
Obviously, he thinks it’s funny because all I can feel is his shoulder bouncing
up and down.

“Hey, it’ll be
alright, E. 
This
is exactly what you need.” 
What’s the phrase?  I
need this like I need a bullet to the head?  Yep, that works.

“I need welts
and bruises?”

“No, you need to
lighten up.  Get your mind off things.”  Hugging me to his side, Bryan pulls me
to the prep area and helps me with my gear.  Even though I’m still not sure,
I’m thankful Bryan had the wherewithal to bring extra supplies for me.  Having
no idea we were even coming here, the thick jacket that’s probably Rachel’s,
along with goggles and all the extra equipment, was surely his plan to give me
no excuse not to play.

“A
girl
ain’t gonna help you win.”  The mocking voice startles me and I look up through
my lashes.  We aren’t alone.  Bryan stands as Sam, Josh, Travis, and Trevor
follow and come to stand in front of me.  Again?  What’s with the shielding?! 
I only get a glimpse of the mocking man’s taut shoulders, dark green eyes and
slicked back hair.  If he wasn’t so attractive, I might be scared of his
menacing stare. 
Is it a prerequisite to be a man-sicle if you want to
paintball?

Pushing past the
blockade of muscle, Bryan teases back.  “She’s our secret weapon.  You guys
won’t know what hit you.”  With a smirk, the sinful guy tries to eye me, but
Bryan bobs and weaves in his way. 
Secret weapon?  Ha!  If he even knew. 
This little charade would be comical if I wasn’t scared shitless.

Trevor stays
behind Bryan, talking to the guy over Bryan’s shoulder.  “I suggest you stop
trying to eye fuck her, asshole.”  I choke on my spit holding back a giggle.

Puckering his
lips, the guy blows a kiss in my direction as I cower behind my first line of
defense.  “See you out there, sweetheart,” he sing-songs in a seductive voice
and walks away.

“What a fucking
prick,” Trevor’s voice breaks the tension as the guys all chuckle in unison. 
“You okay, E?”

I nod, letting
Bryan tighten my elbow pads and then hand me my helmet.  My nervous stomach
flips as the boys lead me to the arena.  No words are exchanged.  I can only
see the tightening of muscles and the tensing of jaw lines.  It appears that
Bryan and his buddies don’t like their adversaries very much, which after my
first impression, I can understand why. 

“Keep your head
down.  Try not to get shot.  Only shoot at the other team.  Remember, don’t.
shoot. our. team.  Okay?”  He continues to ramble about the ins and outs of
paintball, and I can no longer concentrate.  Because just when I think he’s
done babbling, he goes and pushes me into oblivion.  “I know about you and
Alex.”  My mouth drops.  And then, like he didn’t mention anything, he
continues his speech about the game.  “I’m a guy.  Guys get their minds off
their personal problems by causing pain and kicking the crap out of other
people.  What a better way than paintball?”

“Bryan…” 

“Lock em’ and
load em,” Trevor’s excited yell shatters the screaming in my head before I can
continue my conversation with Bryan. 
‘I know about you and Alex.’  What the
hell?  How does he know anything?  I’m going to strangle my sister.

I have about two
point five seconds to wallow in my embarrassment before the bullhorn sounds,
starting the match.  I’m frozen, but the second a red fiery looking ball comes
flying past my cheek, I instinctually run for cover.  With my back pressed
against the wall I start to crawl along the floor, hoping to avoid fire while
these ridiculous boys battle it out. 

I don’t want to
play this game.  Why did Brian even think this would be fun? Why did he think
this would help my pity party?  And how the hell does he know anything about me
and Alex?

Suddenly, one of
the opponents tumbles from around the corner as I hear Travis yelling
profanities from the other side of the wall.  In a moment of panic, I squeeze
the trigger several times, bright pink splatters dart across his chest as he
grunts in defeat.