Sharon Schulze - L'eau Clair Chronicles 03 (28 page)

Their lovemaking had been amazing, each time more incredible than before. He had never imagined himself capable of the depth of feeling Lily could evoke with the simplest of caresses.

But life, once again, had intruded upon them. Although Steffan could not harm anyone now, Ian knew ‘twas a matter of time before he—or they—were attacked again.

He could not bear it if Lily was harmed, but to have it happen when they were after him… He would rather die than allow that to occur.

He kissed her lips gently, the only way he dared show Lily how he felt. The words to express his feelings were foreign to him, although perhaps he’d be able to say them, in time.

But time was something they might not have.

“I’ve been thinking,” he whispered.

“Trying to decide what to do.” Lily stroked her fingers over his lips, making his blood begin to simmer once more. He captured her hand and laid it on his chest, over his heart.

“And what have you decided?”

“You realize we cannot go on like this, sweeting?”

“Like what?” she asked, looking confused. Perhaps he needed to go back to the beginning; he’d been turning ideas over in his mind for so long, he’d forgotten that she might not know what he was talking about.

“I have a home, a modest estate not so very far from here. Now that Llywelyn has branded me outlaw, my lands are likely forfeit. I need to find a way out of this coil, Lily, so that I can give you a home, and a life. We cannot run forever.” “Is there no place else we can go?”

Her shook his head.

“Nay. Most of my power, such as it was, came from my position as Llywelyn’s enforcer, not from lands or hereditary rights. So now I have nothing to offer you. Not even a roof over your head.”

“That doesn’t matter to me, Ian. So long as I have you, I need nothing more.”

“But you will.” He placed his hand over her stomach.

“Even now, a tiny dragon may slumber here. You would not wish a wandering life on a babe. I know that, and so do you. The only way I can provide for you now is to hire out my sword. While I don’t doubt I could do well at it, I don’t believe you’d enjoy the mercenary’s life.”

Her eyes were soft when they gazed into his.

“Such trifles do not matter, Ian,” she said.

“I’m afraid you would find that they did, love. After living your life in an abbey, a mercenary’s lot would seem to you as hell on earth. Ask Nicholas, if you don’t believe me.” “How could he know?”

“His father was a mercenary, and so was he, briefly, before he inherited the honors of Ashby. His king never allows him to forget where he came from, and I’m certain he’s not the only one.

“Tis a harsh life, with no hope of salvation. I refuse to subject you to it, if I can avoid it.”

“But what can we do?”

“There’s only one thing I can do. Go to Llywelyn and see what I can salvage of my life.”

He hated the way her face turned pale and shadows clouded her eyes.

“I don’t know if he even knows the truth of anything that has happened.”

“If you go to him, he’ll kill you, or lock you away in those vaults!” she cried, burying her face against his chest. He could feel the warmth of her tears as they seeped from her eyes and ran over his flesh. They burned him, seared him with a sense of hopefulness, despite their situation.

Lily wouldn’t cry. unless she cared for him. Knowing that she cared, he Was willing to try anything to give her all that she deserved—a life, a home, children, whatever she wanted.

“I think I know a way, a bargain I can strike with Llywelyn to get back what I have lost. I want to take you back to Gwal Draig with me, show you the Dragon’s lair. if my idea works, I can give you the life yOU deserve, Lily.”

And if it doesn’t, I pray our family can protect you.

No doubt Llywelyn’s vengeance would know no bounds.

Please, Rarmulf, tell him he’s mad to even consider returning to Dolwyddelan. Why can’t he see how dangerous it is?” Lily pleaded with her brother-by-marriage, although she feared it would serve no purpose.

He seemed as enamored of the idea as Ian. Perhaps they saw the situation differently, being men. She did not know. But she had to do something.

She looked across the solar to her sister, who was sitting by the fire, sewing, as usual.

“Gillian—can you not reason with him?”

Gillian shook her head.

“I agree with you that it’s probably foolish to put himself into Llywelyn’s hands. We’ve all seen he cannot be trusted,” she added bitterly.

“But I know Ian, and he will not rest until this situation is resolved.”

Her expression sympathetic, Gillian shook her head.

“I’m sorry, Lily, but there is nothing we can do to stop him.”

“Thank you for your faith in my abilities, cousin,” Ian said dryly. He leaned back against the mantel and watched Lily. She refused to look at him, but she could feel the power of his gaze.

“It’s a pity my wife doesn’t feel the same.”

Lily fought back tears. They had been through this argument over and over. Ian refused to listen to anything she said. It felt as though he were mocking her concerns, and that hurt her, deeply.

They had just begun their life together, and what he wanted to do could bring it all including Ian’s very existence–—crashing to an end.

“Don’t you understand? I want us to have a future together.” She jumped to her feet and took a turn about the room. She wanted to scream, he infuriated her so!

“I

don’t care where we live, or how, so long as we’re together.”

“And don’t you understand me?” Ian asked, low-voiced.

“I have devoted myself to Llywelyn’s cause for many years. It’s as much a part of me as my hands, my eyes. He has to realize that will not change. He can trust me in this, at least. And if he needs me badly enough, perhaps he’ll be willing to bargain.”

She glanced at hims making no effort to stem the tears streaming down her cheeks.

“And if he’s not? What do you think will happen to you then? Or to me, not that that matters ? Ian crossed the room and knelt by her side.

“Nothing will happen to you. Rannulf won’t allow it, will you?”

he asked, glancing Rannulf’s way.

“Of course not,” Rannulf said.

“You mustn’t worry, Lily. You are family. I protect what is mine.”

Were all men so dense? Lily reached out and framed Ian’s face in her hands.

“But how will I survive if something happens to you? Please, Ian.”

He pressed a kiss in her palm, then gently pushed her hands away.

“No. I’m sorry, sweeting.” He stood.

“I

cannot do as you wish. Rannulf, may I speak with you outside?”

Lily watched them go, then buried her face in her hands as soon as the door closed behind the men. Gillian came to her and held her, smoothing away her tears.

“You cannot push him to it, Lily,” she chided.

“It will simply make him more stubborn.”

“I truly don’t understand him. Isn’t it better to be alive somewhere else, even if it means changing your dreams, than to have done the honorable thing and be dead because of it? Perhaps it would make more sense to me if I’d grown up around men. I really haven’t had much contact with them.”

Gillian laughed, startling her.

“It wouldn’t make a whit of difference, believe me. I spent the first twelve years of my life almost exclusively with men, and while I might know how they think, I don’t understand it, either. And I never learned to think like them. Thank goodness,” she added with a rueful chuckle.

Lily scrubbed the trailing end of her sleeve over her eyes and stood.

“What should I do, Gillian?”

Her sister put her arm about Lily’s shoulders.

“Kiss him goodbye with all the love in your heart, and smile as he rides off, in case he looks back. You’re not going to change his mind, Lily, whether you rage and plead or j weep and moan. At least let him remember you smiling, so that he’s not distracted with worry while he’s way.

” She kissed her cheek and stepped away.

“Savor my pearls of wisdom, sister, for you won’t hear many from me. But this I know to be true. If you love him; let him go with your smile in his heart, and pray for his safe return.”

Lily thought about Gillian’s words as she went about the tasks her sister had set for her. There was nothing she could do to help Ian prepare for his journey—except pray, as Gillian had suggested.

But as the time approached for Ian’s departure, her heart grew so heavy, she didn’t know if she could bear to watch him ride away. She feared what Llywelyn would do to him, even if he did not.

She took refuge in their chamber when she felt as though she could no longer hold back her tears. She sprawled across the bed, her hair lying about her in complete disarray.

Lily was so engrossed in her own thoughts that she didn’t realize Ian had entered the room until she felt his fingers brush aside her hair, exposing the back of her neck. His touch sent shivers down her spine.

She tried to roll over to face him, but he prevented her.

“Nay, just lie here, sweeting, and let me hold you.”

He wrapped his arms about her and cuddled her into his body spoon-fashion, nuzzling her nape with his lips.

She smiled to herself when she realized she was not the only one affected by this play; she could feel his manhood pressing firmly against her buttocks.

But still he refused to permit her to turn and face him.

Instead, he slipped his hand inside the bodice of her gown, his fingers skimming over her sensitive flesh until she felt a rush of warmth at her core.

“Ian,” she moaned, trying to squirm around. She managed to move her hand behind her and reach him.

She teased his shaft through his clothes, and his sighs of pleasure were soon rising to join hers. Finally, his hands frantic, he pushed at the hem of her bliaut and shoved it up high enough to reach beneath it to her woman’s flesh.

She ached for him, but he tempted her even as she did the same to him. She didn’t understand his intentions when he raised one of her legs and slipped between her thighs, but when he slipped his shaft into her waiting flesh, all thought fled.

Afterward, they lay nestled together in the center of the bed. Content, Lily drifted off to sleep in Ian’s arms.

When she awoke, she was alone. She could tell from the fading light that the day was nearly done.

It felt as though her heart leaped into her throat as she crawled off the bed and straightened her twisted garments.

He couldn’t have left her without saying goodbye.

Could he?

She tugged the door open and ran out into the corridor.

“Ian? Gillian? Is anyone here?”

The sound of boot-clad feet mounting the stairs caught her attention, and she raced to the stairwell.

“Ian?”

Swen caught her about the waist before she could run down the stairs.

“He’s already gone, Lily,” he said, swinging her around and settling her gently on a stool.

“There’s no need to hurry.”

“He left without saying goodbye?”

“Aye.”

She fought back tears, unsuccessfully.

“He didn’t want you to cry,” he said, his voice kind.

He had no mocking grin for her now.

“And I think he didn’t want to let you go.

“Twas easier for him this way. ;

Don’t blame him.”

He stood patiently, waiting while she tried to collect herself. When the tears had finally ceased, he said, “I have just the thing to make you smile. Come with me.

Lady Gillian has brought Katherine outside to see a new litter of pups. I promise she’ll make you laugh.”

She took the hand he held out to her, and allowed him to lead her outside. But as kind as Swen was, she knew she could not forget Ian, not for a moment.

And though her tears had dried for now, she knew that even if Ian survived, he would make her weep again.

The road to Dolwyddelan seemed far longer upon Ian’s return than it had when he left. Despite taking a much more direct route, he found the journey dull and slow without Lily by his side to brighten his way.

Rannuff and a full troop of his men accompanied him, well-trained soldiers he trusted with his life. This journey back might very well be a matter of life or death, for unless he could somehow make his peace with Llywelyn, he had no life to offer Lily. His pride would allow nothing else.

They carried Steffan’s body with them, preserved for the trip in a barrel of brine. Lily had been horrified at the thought, but Ian wanted Llywelyn to see just what Steffan had become. Perhaps he’d find some lesson in that.

He and Swell had argued mightily over whether Swen ought to come with him. But Ian had won the day in that battle of wits. Considering that he didn’t know what his reception would be when he arrived at Dolwyddelan, Ian didn’t want Swen to be tarred with the same brush as he.

Chances were strong that Llywelyn didn’t knowS well had joined forces with the Dragon. It would be best if it stayed that way.

Raunuff had come to lend his support when Ian presented his bargain to the prince. The Norman had always gotten along well with Llywelyn; perhaps his presence would serve to keep the prince’s temper unde control,

When Ian arrived at Dolwyddelan, it was sheer luck that the guard at the gates was a man whose loyalty was more to the Dragon than to Llywelyn. Thus, Ian was able to bring Rannulr’s troops in with him, though whether that would prove beneficial or not, he could not have said.

However, he was glad of their company.

The guards permitted him to make use of his chamber before they took him to see Llywelyn. He used the opportunity to wash and shave, and to garb himself in his finest clothes. Most of the time, what he wore made no difference to him, so long as the clothing was adequate for his needs. However, today he wanted every advantage he could find.

He was Lord Ian ap Dafydd of Gwal Draig, the Dragon, cousin to Welsh royalty. He refused to be cowed by anyone.

Not even Llywelyn himself.

Lily bounced along in the saddle, trying not to moan, despite the cramps in her legs. It had taken her so long to convince Swen he must bring her to Dolwyddelan, they’d had to travel at a headlong pace to make up for lost time.