Shared Too (12 page)

My morning coffee swirled in my stomach. The last thing I wanted was to force him into an affair. He said he wouldn’t and I trusted him, but only as much as it was sensible to trust a potently sexual man like Quinn. I also knew my imagination would run riot. Late nights at work I’d wonder if he was with her. His pager and mobile would ring and I’d think it was her telling him she was missing him or that she wanted him. Lipstick on his collar, the scent of her on his body—I’d be searching for it when he came home.

I could never cope with that. I couldn’t live with that suspicion.

As my coffee continued to lay heavy in my belly I turned to him. He stood with his feet hip-distance apart and hands in his jean pockets, staring at me, an air of patient anticipation and determination hanging around him.

When Quinn was denied something, or when he couldn’t figure out a problem, he was not easy to handle. No way. He became single-minded, focused on the result or the goal he required. It was what made him a brilliant surgeon. He went after what he wanted like a Rottweiler.

Suddenly I realized that I had only one option. For the sake of my sanity and for the happiness of a man I loved.

“So do it,” I said quietly.

“What?”

“Invite her ‘round and…and fuck her.”

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His brows lifted high and he opened his mouth to speak.

“But don’t involve me in the bedroom. I’m not sharing myself with her. I have Liam to think of, my vows to him.”

He took four ground-eating paces over to me. I couldn’t tell if he was furious or pleased with my offer. “Do you know what you’re saying?” he asked gruffly, gripping my upper arms.

“Of course.”

“You don’t, not really.”

“Yes, I do. I don’t want you thinking it’s not fair that I get two lovers and you get one. I don’t want you lying to me, sneaking around.” My mind was whirring. I’d said it now and I just hoped the reason for Quinn sharing me with Liam in the first place would stop it going any further than a one-night stand. He barely had time for me in his life, his hours and responsibilities were crazy. There was no way he could fit in a relationship with another woman. It had to be just about the sex. It had to be. “Fuck her, Quinn, and get it out your system. Then we can carry on with our lives.”

“What if once isn’t enough?” he asked.

“It will have to be.” I shook my head. “It will have to be. That’s my offer. Once.

Scratch the itch.”

He reached up and cupped my cheek in his cool hand.

I pressed my face into his palm. “Invite her tonight. She can eat with us and then you can…you can both go upstairs.”

“But why? Why, Ariane, why? Why would you do this when you were so upset last night about just a kiss?”

“Because I can’t bear lies and secrets, it makes me feel sick. I would rather know the details. Have it out there. If it’s going to happen, it has to be done in the open. So I’m in some kind of control of when and where.”

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He swept his tongue over his bottom lip. I stared into his eyes. They swirled with confusion and relief. I also saw excitement.

“Call her, before I change my mind. But, please, Quinn, not in our bed. In the spare room.”

“I’ll call her, but I’ll invite her for dinner only. If you change your mind, if you decide you don’t want it to happen, it will be your decision. Right up until the last minute you can change your mind, Ariane.”

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Lily Harlem

Chapter Seven

“Quinn told me,” Liam said. “He told me he’s invited Eve for dinner and you said he can…”

I looked up at Liam. He swept his hand over his forehead then pinched his finger and thumb at the top of his nose.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, fine.” He dropped his hand to his side.

“Do you feel unwell?”

“No.”

I sighed and stirred the chili I was cooking for the dinner that felt like the last supper.

“I thought you hated the idea of him and Eve together,” Liam said. “So why would you give him permission to have sex with her?”

“Because that’s what it is, just sex.” I sighed. It was hard to explain my feelings. The decision was so new, so unbelievable, but I felt deep down it was the right and only thing to do. “I remember one day in the paddock,” I said. “Sophie had caught a butterfly in her hands. It was a tortoiseshell, fluttery and pretty, like a leaf come to life.” I reached for the can of chopped tomatoes and added more to the chili. “She wanted me to get a jam jar, she wanted to keep it.”

Liam rested his hand in the small of my back and stepped in close to my side.

“I told her I wouldn’t rush back to the house and get a jar, the butterfly needed to fly free.” My voice quieted. “If she let it go and it came back it would be even more special. I feel…” I paused. “I feel I need to let Quinn do this to keep him mine. I need to 94

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let him have the freedom to explore something, someone, who’s captured his attention in a way I’ve never seen before, and trust him to come back to me.”

“Except with you,” Liam said, dropping a sprig of mixed herbs into my mixture.

“He fell in love with you as fast as a brick hits the bottom of a puddle.”

“I hope to god he doesn’t fall in ‘love’ with her,” I said, squeezing my lips tight.

“Me too,” Liam said.

“But what the hell would happen if he did?” I looked up at Liam.

“Quinn has been happy with us for years. He, we, always knew we didn’t have the time a wife deserved which is why we have this, the three of us.” He circled his hand in the air. “Nothing has changed in our circumstances. Where is he now?”

“He got called in.”

“Exactly,” Liam said firmly.

“But this is my point.” I dropped the spoon against the side of the pan and spun to Liam. “His pager goes and he’s off. Today I know he’s at work, at the hospital, but what if I was left wondering if he was with her? I couldn’t stand it. I need to know.” My voice quieted. “This is the only way.” Tears filled my eyes.

“Baby, don’t cry,” Liam said quietly as he squeezed me to him. “It will all work out fine, you’ll see.”

I looked up at his beautiful face. He hadn’t shaved today, there was a heavy coat of blond stubble on his jawline. “Do you think so?”

“Yes, I do, and just so you know, I would never do this to you. You are it for me, today, tomorrow, forever.” He pressed a kiss to my head. “You will only have to cope with this and Quinn, I will never ask it of you.” I pulled in his wonderful, freshly showered scent and absorbed the strength of his body molded against mine. “I’m so glad you’re here today and not in the office.”

“I’m here,” he said. “For as long as I can be, baby. I’m here.” 95

Lily Harlem

* * * * *

In the early evening, I polished the table in the dining room. Spread a scarlet tablecloth that matched the color of the walls over the huge mahogany surface and set the table for four with our best silverware. After lighting three fat, cream candles in the center I wiped the duster over the large antique sideboard, shifting photos of the girls on their ponies at the summer shows as I went. Seeing their faces made me miss them all over again. But I was glad they weren’t here to see the mess we were going through.

I couldn’t put a brave face on it for them. It would be hard to put on a brave face for Quinn.

I’d just pulled the curtains when Quinn’s Mercedes crunched up the drive. I scooted back to the kitchen, stirred the simmering chili and poured myself a glass of white wine.

Quinn walked in, dropped his keys down and set a bottle of shiraz on the counter.

“She only drinks red.”

“Oh, okay,” I said, swallowing a bigger gulp of my wine than I should have. “She said yes then, about dinner.”

“She said yes to dinner. I didn’t tell her anything else.” I nodded, opened the fridge and reached for a bag of Parmesan shavings. “When will she be here?”

“In a minute. I’ll go change.” He paced from the kitchen, his shoes clicking on the hard floor.

I glanced out the window at the dark yard. My heart was tripping over itself with nerves—it was the most anxious I’d felt in years.

Suddenly I saw headlights flashing over the barn wall, accompanied by the low hum of an engine. A sleek red Audi set off the security light again.

The car lights died, as did the engine. The door opened and two long legs appeared, followed by an elegant body and a shimmering mane of blonde hair. Eve reached back into the car, lifted out an oversized handbag and a bottle of wine.

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I dashed to catch her before she went to the front of the house. We never used that entrance—who even knew where the key was? By the time I opened the kitchen door the dogs were barking around her legs.

“Hey, lovely,” she said, rubbing Drake’s big, flat head. “What’s your name?”

“Drake,” I said loudly to get her attention.

She looked up at me as Drake’s fat tongue looped through her fingers. “He’s lovely, but not much of a guard dog unless you want him to lick burglars to death.” She laughed and the sound tinkled around the yard.

I groaned at Drake’s dribbling behavior. “Yeah, you’re right.” I flicked my hands at him as he tried to get into the kitchen. “No, no,” I said. “Go and lie with Billy, you’re not coming in, not tonight.” I shifted sideways so Eve could step around me while I blocked Drake’s way. Shutting the door, I inhaled her sugary-sweet perfume. It laced my tongue like sherbet powder.

“Oh, this is lovely,” Eve said, looking around the kitchen. “It’s so quaint and welcoming.”

“Yeah, we like it.”

“Can I?” She gestured to the sink.

“Sure, go ahead.”

She placed her bag and the bottle of wine on the counter and washed her hands.

“Quinn is just getting changed,” I said, staring at her dead-straight hair. Quinn was right, it did look like silk and it flowed down her back right to her elbows, the ends cut blunt and precise. “He’ll be down in a minute.”

“Okay.”

I passed her a hand towel. “Would you like a glass of wine? Quinn picked up a bottle of red for you.”

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“Oh, how sweet of him. Yes please, that would be lovely. I brought one too, though I should only have one glass, I’m on call, as usual.” She smiled, flashing neat white teeth.

I uncorked the wine, wondering what was taking Quinn so long. He must have heard Drake barking and known Eve had arrived.

“Thanks for inviting me,” Eve said, leaning back against the counter near the stove.

I poured wine into a crystal glass and handed it to her. “Quinn wanted you to come.”

She pulled at her pink bottom lip with her teeth. “Just Quinn?” Her eyes narrowed and for a second she looked wary, hesitant.

“I wanted you to come too,” I said, reaching for my own drink. “I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Oh.” She gulped back an inch of wine. I drifted my gaze up her tall frame. She wore dark jeans with small diamante detail around the pockets and a soft blue sweater that looked slightly fluffy and had a deep V-neck. Her arms and neck were elegant, her chin a little pointed. She wore light makeup—black mascara and the same pink lipstick that had been smudged on Quinn’s collar. “What did you want to talk to me about, Ariane?” she asked.

Her gaze caught mine briefly then slid to look at Betsy playing with a pen lid on the floor. Was she nervous? Was she wondering why she’d been invited to our house? I liked to think so. “Don’t worry,” I said in a slow, steady voice that belied the tripping of my heart. “I’m not going to bite your head off for kissing my husband.” Her chest hitched as she snapped in a breath. “He told you?”

“Of course he told me.” I shrugged as if it wasn’t the big deal it had been. “We don’t keep secrets from one another.”

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“Ariane.” She pressed a hand to her cheek as though holding back a blush. “I am so sorry, really, I am. I don’t know what came over me. I was tired, he was there, it was late, it’s been so long since I…” Her excuses trailed off.

“He’s a great-looking guy,” I said with a flick of my brows. “Incredibly talented and committed, not to mention strong, determined and confident. I’m sure lots of women at the hospital want to kiss him.” I smiled and kept my voice calm. “But you’re the only one who’s ever been brave enough to try.”

“I really am sorry. I like him. He’s a good friend to have at work. I was worried I’d messed that up last night, my friendship with him.” I placed my wine down and stirred the chili. Set back my shoulders and pulled in a deep breath as I looked at the rich, red sauce bubbling away. “You didn’t mess it up, he still likes you.” I didn’t want to tell her yet how just much he liked her or what I was going to let him do to her later.

“I don’t make friends easily,” she said. “I’m always moving around with work and I let people down if I make dates, something always seems to come up.” She glanced down at herself. “Plus I think I intimidate people without meaning to.”

“Intimidate?” I shook my head. I didn’t think she was intimidating. Beautiful, sensual, eloquent, but not intimidating. “Why do you think that?”

“Well, I have to get results, which means a lot of nurses and surgical staff are not interested in forming a friendship with me. I make decisions that are not always popular. Plus I have to keep a certain distance from the people I’m in charge of. If I’m too pally, they run rings around me, take liberties. It’s happened in the past.”

“I think the word intimidate is wrong,” I said, tipping the Parmesan into a small yellow bowl.

“You do?”

“Yes.” I gestured at her with my hand. “Threatening is a better word.”

“Threatening?” Her brows shot up. “What do you mean?” 99

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“Just look in the mirror. You have the looks, a great career, you get results and you’re in demand as a top-flying hospital manager. People find success like that a threat. They think you want to take what’s theirs and add it to everything you already have.” I turned down the rice to stop it boiling over.