Shapeshifters (12 page)

“I believe you,” I answered. I knew my smile was tired.

“Good night, Danica.”

“Good night,” I bid him softly.

He left, though I knew he would not be going far. He would not leave anyone else to guard my doorway with a cobra so near.

I slept well.

A
NXIETY WOKE ME EARLY THE NEXT MORNING
. I bathed and dressed quickly before meeting up with Zane in the hall outside my room. Andreios was exchanging a few last words with Zane, detailing the scripted ceremony associated with the naming of an alistair, which Zane appeared fairly amused to hear about.

“Tell me, do the three-year-olds usually honor these vows?” Zane asked glibly.

Rei kept his control, but the tone of his voice when he responded was sharp enough to tell me that the comment was not the first one Zane had made. “Yes, the
decision
is usually made when an alistair is that young, but he doesn't take the vows until he is ready. Hopefully you're old enough that they're clear to you,” he added
between clenched teeth. “If they aren't, I'm sure—”

“Good morning, Andreios,” I said loudly, drawing both men's attention to me before someone was hit. “Good morning, Zane.” If the two men ever did come to blows, the fight would be serious—deadly so—and I doubted they would both walk away alive.

I glanced toward the other two guards who stood in the hall with us, and added quietly, “Karl, Erica, stand down.”

Both radiated tension. Erica especially trailed Zane with her eyes as if taking a sight for a notched arrow.

Karl flashed what looked like a forced smile. “Relax, Erica. We can always say ‘just kidding' and run for our lives.”

One of the lightest of tone among the Royal Flight, Karl had apparently been assigned to this job today to keep my mood from bleakness. His humor and voice almost served to disguise how raptly his attention covered the area, and particularly the cobra.

Erica did not appreciate the humor. “No disrespect, milady,” she said to me with harsh formality, “but I will relax only when I am shown proof that he”—she nodded in Zane's direction—“is harmless.”

I glanced at Rei, silently questioning his decision. I trusted their loyalty to me, but worried
that they might not go out of their way to protect Zane if someone meant him harm. In fact, both struck me as a little overzealous.

He answered the unspoken question. “I trust these two to be loyal to you without fault, and they've sworn not to harm him. When there are others of our kind around who might be a threat to your alistair, I will assign other guards. When you are alone with a serpent, I won't put someone in the way that might hesitate to fight him.”

Erica and Karl both looked flattered by their commander's recommendation and unflustered by the implication that they were less than fond of Zane. Since Rei himself had for a moment sounded regretful that he couldn't let them kill their charge, I found it difficult to fault them.

Instead I looked at Zane, who offered a brave smile and a shrug.

The serpent was certainly making an attempt to look harmless. He had abandoned his normal black attire in favor of calfskin pants so light they were nearly golden, and a loose shirt several shades darker. The brown tones made his garnet eyes appear less red, and his fair skin warmer.

However, clothing could not completely disguise the smooth tension of his movements, so subtly different than any avian, or completely dim the fire in his gaze. I was dreading introducing him to my people.

“Milady, it is time.” Eleanor was slightly
breathless as she darted into the room, her cheeks flushed with excitement.

Zane offered his arm, at the same time delivering to me a sardonic smile. “This is going to be interesting.”

There was some carefully controlled surprise among my people when I first descended the stairs with Zane instead of Rei, but no instant fury. It occurred to me that most of these people had never seen Zane before, and unless they caught sight of the signet ring he was wearing or met his Cobriana eyes—something he had assured me he could avoid—they were unlikely to recognize him.

But as I crossed the room to the slight stage in the back of the court, I could see the ripple of unease in those nearby. Instincts. Even a sleeping dormouse wakes up and knows when the cat is nearby; so it was among the court. Zane, for all his attempts to appear harmless, would never pass for avian.

They looked at Rei, and at me, and at the other members of the Royal Flight who were standing nearby, but since my guards and I were not visibly upset, they assumed their own discomfort was imagined. Only the sight of the blood rushing from my mother's face as she fainted set my heart racing. Gerard caught her, looking a little surprised and unsure of what to do with his charge. Luckily, she had been stand
ing at the far back of the room, and only those nearest to her had noticed. I would deal with her later. Now it was time to step onto the platform.

“Tuuli Thea Danica Shardae,” Rei greeted me. “You have chosen this man as your alistair, as your protector, of your own free will and without coercion.”

“I have.” My voice did not tremble.

Rei turned to Zane. “Are you willing to swear upon your own spirit and the sky above that you will protect Danica Shardae from all harm?”

“Upon my own spirit, I will so swear.”

“And do you swear you will never raise voice or hand against her?” Rei spoke the words calmly, but the expression in his eyes as he met Zane's gaze fearlessly was anything but calm.

Zane hesitated a fraction of a second; whether surprised by Rei's bold action or debating whether he was willing to so swear, I did not care to know. “Never would I willingly harm the woman I love.”

Rei caught the wording, and for a moment I saw his jaw clench against the desire to argue. He knew as well as I that Zane had made no claims of love toward me, and that his promise not to harm the woman he loved did not protect me.

Rei's gaze flickered to me, beseeching, and I gave a nod for him to continue. I understood Zane's hesitation, despite how unnerving it was;
if it came down to a choice of him or me, he would defend himself and his people. He could not swear never to harm me without knowing whether peace between our two peoples would work.

“Danica Shardae is Tuuli Thea, and so when you swear to her, you swear to all her people,” Rei continued, his voice sounding strained. “Will you protect the Tuuli Thea's people as you would your own family, and risk all that is necessary to defend them?”

“I swear upon the tears of the goddess Anhamirak, I will do everything within my power to stop the bloodshed among the Tuuli Thea's people.” In those words I heard sincerity at last, and though I did not know the name of the goddess to whom Zane had made the vow, I knew from his tone that he was honest in his words.

There were scholars better educated than I among the court, and as I heard their frantic whispers, I knew that some had understood the reference. I also saw with dread that my mother was stirring. As Rei continued, I watched her set her feet on the ground, her reserve shattered and her face holding abject horror.

“Danica Shardae, Tuuli Thea, you have chosen this man as your alistair,” Rei continued formally, his voice rising slightly above the noise in the crowd. “Zane Cobriana, you have sworn to
defend Danica Shardae, your Tuuli Thea. Upon the words you have spoken, you are bound for life.”

Those words
for life
had a fateful ring.

A hush descended over the avian court, and in those moments, as I waited for a reaction, I met my mother's gaze. She looked at me with sadness and anger and shook her head. Then she began to walk out the back of the room.

Gerard tried to stop her, and I saw her spine go rigid. “The Tuuli Thea has made her choice. My words are meaningless here,” she said loudly without turning. I nodded to the guard, and he hurried after the Tuuli Thea he had first served as she left.

Her rejection cut, but I had expected it.

With a deep breath to loosen the knot in my throat, I stepped forward. The court quieted, awaiting my words, stunned by what they could not believe.

I stated simply, “Yes, it is true. This is Zane Cobriana you see before you.” I had to raise my voice slightly over the protests as I continued. “Yes, it is Zane Cobriana who has just sworn to defend your Tuuli Thea—and you.” That quieted them slightly, and I took advantage of the silence. “When the serpiente first spoke to me of peace, I was doubtful. But I am your queen, and as such, I am willing to do what I must to protect you, my
people. That means ending this war any way I can.”

I stood at attention, left hand grasping my right wrist behind my back—the pose of a soldier, which I had picked up from Rei and Vasili when I had been a girl. I knew everyone who had ever fought in our armies or lost someone from our armies would recognize the posture.

“You know me,” I implored them. “You know that I do not avoid going out to the field and caring for the wounded. You know that I do not flinch from the bodies that must be brought home. I do not intend to be a queen who ignores the suffering of her people. I have held your own children's hands, and talked to them as they died, so they would not be alone. And I am tired of it.”

I took Zane's hand, grasping it on the stage in the avian court, in front of so many avian ladies and gentlemen who were shocked by even that small contact.

“I feared this man, as you do. I hated him, as you do. But when our soldiers cut down his brother in the field, I was the one left to sit by that boy's side as he died. And he was no different than my brother who died the same day, or the alistair and family I lost when I was a child. Then Zane came to me, asking for peace, and I had to listen.” I took a breath, trying to calm myself. I had not meant to get so carried away, but
now the court was watching me in amazement. Perhaps that was a good thing. “Zane has sworn to defend my people, and as Naga of the serpiente I am equally sworn to defend his.”

There was some more protest at this last statement, and I waited for it to die down before I said softly, “We have all lost loved ones. And if I need to go onto the field and disarm every frightened soldier by hand, alone in the night, I will do it. As of this moment, I declare this war over. Any injury done to the serpiente will be looked upon as injury to
my
people, and to
your
people.”

The court did not know how to react. They had been raised avian and were not taught to loudly express outrage or fear. However, under the circumstances, polite caution and distaste could not cover what they wanted to say.

Finally, one soft voice pervaded the area. “Milady, how can we be sure of their intentions?” The crowd parted so the woman who was speaking could approach me. “Of course I have faith in you and your judgment, but might the serpiente even now be planning to attack as soon as you recall our soldiers?”

“I had a similar thought when Irene Cobriana first came to the Keep to ask for a meeting in Mistari land,” I admitted. “The Royal Flight and my own family both cautioned me against trusting the serpiente, and I was spirited back to the Keep. But Zane was not that easily dismissed,” I
recalled. “And when he showed up in my suite a few weeks later, unbeknownst to my guards, my mother and everyone else in the Keep, it was hard to believe that he intended me harm.”

Rei was visibly perturbed by these words, but he said nothing as I continued to speak. “Had the serpiente wanted to injure me, there would have been opportunity—here in the Keep, and at the serpiente palace on the two occasions that I have visited there. Yet I stand before you unscratched.” I spoke softly, but I knew my voice would carry in the near-silence of the court. “I ask for trust. I ask that I might never again hold another dying soldier—avian or serpiente—in my arms. I ask for trust. I ask that you put away your weapons so we can mourn the dead properly, and then move on. I ask for trust. I ask that your children can learn of peace instead of war. I ask for trust. It is a lot, I know; it isn't easy to give. But it is
all I ask.
”

E
SCORTED BY
A
NDREIOS AND
K
ARL
, Z
ANE
and I withdrew, leaving the court alone to make their decisions. I heard several voices raised, among them Eleanor, loudly declaring their support before anyone else could speak.

After Zane and I had settled onto the balcony that marked the highest point in the Keep, I asked, “Who is Anhamirak?” Two of the Royal Flight were waiting discreetly on the stairs down to the main apartment; Rei had reluctantly gone to bed after what must have been more than a full night and day awake.

“Hmm?” Zane's gaze was distracted as he looked out over the surrounding forest and distant mountains and doubtless wondered how the argument back in the court was going. If it went
badly, there were seven floors between him and safety.

“Anhamirak,” I repeated, trying to keep either of us from mulling over what was happening. “You swore to her during the ceremony, when Rei asked whether you would defend my people as your own.”

“When Egypt was young, and the first pyramids were being built with the sweat and blood of slavery,” Zane recited, not turning his gaze from the view, “there was a sect of thirteen men and women, the high priestess of whom was a woman called Maeve. They worshiped a goddess named Anhamirak, who ruled over life, light, love, beauty—and above all, free will.”

Zane sighed. “As the myth goes, a creature by the name of Leben appeared to Maeve and instructed her to stop her worship of Anhamirak and turn it onto him. He was powerful, but not a god, and Maeve knew it. She seduced him, and in an attempt to gain her favor, he gave to her ageless beauty and the second form of an elegant viper with ivory scales. She demanded that he do the same for all her people, including a woman named Kiesha. To Kiesha, Leben gave the form of a king cobra, and from her son—or so the story goes—the Cobriana line is descended.”

“Do you believe it?” I asked, rather entranced by the tale.

“I believe this.” Zane held up a hand, and I
could not help stepping back as the ink-dark snakeskin rippled into appearance over his bare skin, only to subside again as if it had never existed. “And I believe this.” I had been watching him so intently that I had no chance to avert my gaze as he lifted garnet cobra's eyes, halting the air in my lungs. “I have seen the serpents dance, and if it isn't magic, I can find no better word.” He looked away, returning those frightening jeweled eyes to the landscape as he leaned against the balcony railing. My breath let out in a rush. “What about you, Danica?” he asked. “What do you believe in?”

The story behind my kind was equally magical, but it had always been told to me as just that: a story and nothing more. Now I moved beside Zane and looked out at the land that held his attention. “I believe in the air beneath my wings when I soar.”

“Is this what the world looks like when you are flying?”

I tried to see the land below as would someone who had not seen it from this height every day. The sky was just beginning to color with the pink and violet streaks of twilight, and long shadows streaked the ground. “It's not as clear as this,” I responded, trying to recall what the ground
did
look like to a hawk in flight. “When you fly, the air is mostly what you are aware of … how it moves, and how you move in it. The
ground isn't important unless you are diving, landing or falling.”

“Falling?”

I had been hit once by a serpiente arrow, clipped in the wing while I was flying from a battle. Falling, unable to steady myself for several seconds, I had only escaped the deadly impact with the ground because one of Rei's soldiers had caught me. It was not a moment I wanted to dwell on—or repeat.

“It happens sometimes” was all I told Zane.

“Milady?” The voice came from a very hesitant young sparrow, whose gaze flickered to and from Zane with bright fear. “When you have a moment, your mother would like to speak to you and your … alistair.” She hesitated, as if my mother had used different words to describe Zane.

“She is welcome to come speak to me at any time,” I responded, both relieved that my mother was unlocking herself from her room and dreading the confrontation to come. “Kindly invite her to join us here.”

The sparrow bobbed a clumsy curtsy and disappeared quickly.

“I think she's afraid of me,” Zane observed, a dark humor showing through in his tone. He leaned back against the railing, crossing his arms, then pausing—like a cobra, coiled and waiting, a deep stillness seeping into him as he prepared to
face my mother. I wondered if he even realized how dangerous he appeared in that moment.

My kind lets off subtle signs of life even when we're not moving: the heat of our bodies and the quick pace of our heartbeat. When Zane stood still, even his breathing slowed, as if he might simply dissolve into the night. The only sign of life in him was the flash of light off his iridescent gemstone eyes.

Please don't hide.

I wondered if, when I looked at him now, I saw and felt what he did when I pulled on my mask of avian reserve. If it was true … I could see how the myths had begun, saying we had no souls.

The time had passed for me to respond to Zane's forcedly light remark, and now an awkward silence stretched between us, both of us hidden behind our own shields and both unnerved by them.

“I think she's not the only one,” he added under his breath as my mother ascended the stairway.

“Danica Shardae, you are Tuuli Thea now, and I have no power to override your decisions.” Nacola's voice was forced, as if she had rehearsed this speech many times before coming to me. “But I will not support your agreeing to this sickening arrangement.”

“I'm sorry to hear that.” I truly was. My
mother's approval was something I had always strived for, and the lack of it now left me groundless. “But my people must come before even you, Mother. As your people should come before your daughter.”

“Child, I would not protest so if I thought this would work,” my mother argued. “I understand the sacrifices a queen must make for her people. But those sacrifices must be for a reason, and
this
… this is a reasonless act. Our two kinds are not meant to live together, Danica,” she said softly. “From the very first we have been enemies, and so it will be until either they are destroyed or we are.”

“You're absolutely correct.” I jumped at Zane's voice, and my gaze shifted to him. “Snakes and birds are not creatures intended to live together. As I recall, hawks will snatch young cobras from the nest and eat them. But surely you are forgetting something rather important, milady Nacola.” He paused there and waited as if for an answer.

My mother did not reply, and finally Zane just sighed.

“The first of my kind was a human woman. Surely your kind comes from like roots. We have human minds and human bodies. If we can speak as humans do, and love as humans do, then what makes us so different?” Zane's words were simple, but the anger and hope behind them were
anything but. “Serpents and birds are not meant to live together,” he asserted again, “but I personally like to believe that we are more than our animal counterparts.”

“Your
people,
” my mother spat, in a rare show of fury, “murdered my
parents.
My sisters, my husband, my son and my daughter—”

“And your
people,
” Zane replied with equal vehemence, “have taken from me a father, two uncles, three brothers, a sister and a niece who had not even drawn her first breath. What possible harm had that infant done to you?”

He turned away as if he did not trust himself to face her, and he paced to the railing.

“Milady Nacola,” he said tightly, “I don't want to fight with you. I fear I lose my temper too easily for your world's standards. What I am trying to say is that
I
am willing to forgive history and try to act as the human blood in me implores.”

“Your temper is renowned,” my mother responded, her voice once again under control, and acid in its detachment. “Your kind has never been famous for holding in check its tongue or its hands, and I wouldn't expect its king to do any better.” Zane drew a breath as if to speak, but my mother continued. “With that in mind, surely you can understand my reluctance to trust you with my daughter.”

“I have given my word I will not harm her,”
Zane interjected, but my mother simply shook her head.

“And when that Cobriana temper breaks loose, what then?” she argued, for all intents and purposes ignoring my presence. “Violence is common among the serpent court, or so I hear, and accepted to a much greater degree than it is in the Keep. I don't expect Danica has had much experience with being struck, and I don't wish her to gather such familiarity.”

“Nacola—”

“Allow me to finish.” To my shock, my mother met Zane's eyes with her own fiery golden gaze, and Zane was the one who looked away. “If I am to have no say in this decision, I would at least speak my mind to you.”

“Continue.” The word was tense, and Zane pointedly avoided looking at me as he said it.

My mother stepped closer. “If you ever put a hand on my daughter—”

“I assure you, fair Nacola, I've no intent to bruise such soft skin as Danica's. With that point overemphasized, is there anything else you would like to accuse me of?”

“She is not one of the casual women of your court, Zane,” my mother argued next.

“Quite obviously,” came Zane's silken reply.

“Your word that you will never force her to your bed.”

The order came difficultly to my mother's
lips, and Zane recoiled in response, his eyes narrowing in fury.

“Would my word mean anything to you, Nacola? The word of a cobra, for your daughter's
virtue
?”

My mother hesitated, her lips parting as if she would speak and then sealing closed again without a sound passing them. Her gaze was hard, clearly speaking the answer: No, his word would mean nothing to her.

“Leave now, Nacola Shardae.” Zane's voice was cold as ice.

“I—”

Zane whirled to face me, turning from my mother's protest. “Danica, get her out of here before I hurt her.”

I stumbled back, but did not stop to question him. I caught my mother's arm, imploring her, “Mother, please return to your room now.”

“Danica—” She broke off, and with one more fleeting look at Zane, she nodded.

We walked in silence until we reached the doorway to her room, the place where my sister had once slept, long ago when I had been a child.

“I know you will go through with this,” my mother said flatly, her voice soft and sad. “Even Karashan admits that you are too brave for any of us to change your mind, Danica. But please don't let that courage make you careless. Keep a guard within shouting range, and never let the door
lock when the two of you are alone. Sleep with a knife under your pillow if you must, and be careful, because he
will
hurt you if you do not protect yourself.” She sighed, her voice a whisper as she added, “History repeats itself too easily.”

I thought of the knife in the back that had ended Alasdair's life and nodded. The events of both this evening and the past forced me to respect my mother's words.

I returned to my balcony to find Zane gone; the guards informed me that he had retreated to his room and asked not to be disturbed until next dawn by anyone but me.