Shannon's Daughter (56 page)

“Tea
usually does, make things easier, that is.
 
Want to tell me what this is all about, or should we wait for the tea?”

“Let’s
wait.
 
Tell me about Ireland.
 
You’re doing wonderful things up there, I hear.”

“It’s
gone well.
 
So well I’m actually thinking
about turning it over to someone else in another year or so.”

“What
will you do next?”

“Not
sure.”
 
He hesitated.
 
Why not tell her?
 
She would likely be happy for him.
 
“Actually, that isn’t quite true.
 
I’m planning to get married.
 
We would have done it this year, but with
Mother’s situation, we decided to hold off.
 
Kate, that’s my fiancée, would like a big wedding, and we didn’t want to
put that kind of pressure on Mum.”

“Congratulations!
 
Tell me about her.
 
How did you meet?”
 
She settled back on the cushions, a look of
sincere pleasure on her face.
 
He was
momentarily caught off guard by just how lovely she was, with her eyes shining
and those luscious lips spread in a smile, and forced
himself
to look away.
 

“Funny,
that’s what everyone
asks,
as though it’s a miracle I
had time to meet someone.
 
In fact, we
met at a rehearsal.
 
I walked in, looked
over at the cellos, met the clearest pair of green eyes I’d ever seen and
dropped my baton.
 
Kate was filling in
for one of my regular cellists, and apparently she decided that very morning
that we were meant to be.”
 
Now he was
the one examining his hands, embarrassed at the wonder that crept into his
voice whenever he talked about Kate.

“That’s
wonderful!
 
You got your happily ever
after.”

“So it
seems.
 
Amazingly, she doesn’t think I’m
too old.
 
Kate is only twenty-five.”

“Age
isn’t important.”

Silence
again.
 
He searched for something to fill
it and came up with a sudden inspiration.
 
“I had the opportunity to see your boy last spring.”

“My
boy?”

“Stani
Moss.
 
I’d never had the pleasure.
 
I know you had a hand in getting his career
started.”

“Yes.”
 
Peg’s voice dropped along with her gaze.
 
“He’s getting married, too, you know?”

“I did read
something about that, come to think of it.”
 
Unable to decipher her sudden shift in mood, he waited.

“I made
a terrible mistake with Stani.”
 

Her
voice was so soft he thought he’d misunderstood.
 
“What?”

“I’d
like to say it was
all your
fault, but that wouldn’t
be fair.”

“What
sort of mistake are we talking about?
 
He’s brilliant.
 
Surely you don’t
regret backing him?”

“Oh,
no.
 
My mistake was more personal.”

He knew
instinctively from her tone, the image springing to mind with an unpleasant
jolt.
 
“But he’s just a kid.
 
Surly you’re not saying. . .”

“He was
eighteen.
 
The same age I was when we
started out.
 
But I should never have let
things go that far.
 
I was lonely, and he
was such a sweet boy.
 
I’m afraid I fell
in love with him before I realized what I was doing.
 
I told
myself
there
was no harm, that you and I had something wonderful for all those years.
 
But Stani didn’t need me, not the way we
needed each other back then.”

He
wanted to reach out to her, but resisted.
 
“You got your heart broken, didn’t you, brat?”

“I
did.
 
Not that he’ll ever know it.
 
All that aside, we’re good friends.
 
And he needs me in other ways.
 
Life goes on.”

“Yes,
it does.
 
I’m sorry you got hurt.
 
I know what that’s like.”

She
grimaced and then flashed him a smile that said all was forgiven.
 
“I deserve that.
 
I just can’t seem to get it right.”

“There’ll
be someone.
 
If I’m any example, when you
least expect it.”

“There
is someone, actually.
 
But it’s
complicated.
 
He’s a friend of Stani’s.”

“Another
youngster?”

“No.
 
John is older, even older than you.”

“Ouch.
 
So how is it complicated, if I’m not prying?”

“He
knows all about my affair with Stani.
 
He
says it doesn’t bother him, but I’m not so sure.
 
I think I frighten him or make him
uncomfortable.”
 
She shrugged, shaking
her head.
 
“I’m not sure, but I think he
could be the one, if circumstances were different.”
 

“Don’t
give up too easily.”

When
she looked up, her eyes widened slowly, until he knew she understood what he’d
never meant to tell her.
 
“Is that what
you think, that you gave up too easily on us?”

“I
wondered for a long time.
 
But now I know
it would never have worked, no matter how much time we gave it.”

“And do
you know exactly why?
 
I’ve never really
been able to figure it out.”

He
smiled at her quizzical frown, for a moment seeing the Peg who had won his
heart without even trying.
 
“I think
so.
 
It could have worked, but only if
we’d been two different people, born in different places under different
circumstances.
 
We had the right
chemistry, but nothing else seemed to fit.
 
I made the mistake of believing I could force things.”

“I
think it was mainly my fault.
 
I was so
sure I’d fail, I wasn’t willing to try.
 
I
guess I thought it was safer to keep what we had than risk losing everything,
and I still ended up losing you.”

“You
never really lost me, Peg.
 
But I
couldn’t settle for just having you part time.
 
It’s better this way.”

“Easy
for you to say.
 
You found Kate.”

“And
you
found.
. .John, is it?
 
Don’t be afraid to take the risk this time.
 
Life’s too short to pass up taking a run at
happily ever after, at least once.”

The
arrival of room service with the tea cart put a proper end to the subject.
 
For a time, they talked of family and
work.
 
The longer they sat together, the
more Kendall was reminded of other times and places, until he knew if he didn’t
leave soon, leaving would be out of the question.
 
The signals were there.
 
The seemingly accidental touch, laughter that
came with increasing ease, and gazes that connected for longer than
necessary.
 
He was not completely immune,
he realized.
 
Trying to keep the image of
Kate’s face in his mind’s eye, he acknowledged what he had known all along.
 
Love her as he did, Peg was the only woman
he’d ever been
in
love with, a
condition one apparently never fully recovered from.
 

“I
should be going.
 
I promised Mother I’d
hunt down a book for her, one that I suspect is out of print.”
 
He made it to his feet, telling himself there
was no point in delaying further and every reason to get out while he could.

“Should
I visit?
 
I was afraid it might upset
her.
 
Every time we meet now I sense she
resents me more than ever.”
 
Peg stood
too, bringing them practically toe to toe.

“I
think she might prefer to leave things as they are.
 
Her vanity is fragile now.
 
She says she hates the thought of being remembered
this way.
 
Maybe some flowers?”

“All
right.”
 
She reached up, touching his temple.
 
“I like the silver wings.
 
Very distinguished.”
 
Her fingertips were cool, lingering at the
side of his face.
 
Unconsciously, he
raised his hand, covering hers and pressing it to his cheek.
 

“Peg, I
meant what I said earlier.
 
You’ll always
have a large part of my heart.
 
But
please don’t take advantage of that.
 
It’s been too long.”

Dropping
her hand, she turned away.
 
“I know.
 
It’s just that you know me better than anyone
in the world.
 
You’re the only person
I’ve ever been completely myself with.”

There’s
was nothing conscious about his next move.
 
His arms opened to her instinctively, and when she took the single step
toward him, there was nothing to do but kiss her.
 
He was struck by the fact that she still
tasted the same, still made that low, husky sound against his lips. Her hands
set off the same nerves as they slid up his chest and around his neck.
 
The years had failed to lessen his physical
or emotional response to her.
 
He was
rapidly becoming aroused, while at the same time tears tightened his
throat.
 

Peg
broke the kiss, burying her face against his chest.
 
“I’m sorry.”

“Why?”

“You
didn’t come here for this.”

Taking
a deep breath in the attempt to steady his reeling senses, he rested his cheek
on her hair.
 
“What did I come for?
 
I can’t seem to remember?”

Slowly,
she withdrew and walked to the desk across the room.
 
“I have something for you.
 
From Dad.
 
He made me promise to give it to you in
person.”
 
She held out an envelope.
 
“He thinks a lot about settling his accounts
these days.”

Moving
closer, he took the envelope, turning it over in his hands just to have
something to do.
 
“How is he?
 
I heard. . .”

“That
he’s dying?
 
His cardiologist says
there’s no excuse for him to still be alive.
 
I think he’s hoping to make it to Christmas.
 
He keeps talking about coming home to New
York for one more Christmas, but I doubt he’ll be able to make the trip.
 
He’s been in Florida for over a year now,
since his last bad episode.”
 
Her voice
trailed off as she watched him open the letter.
 
“What is it?”

“Another
stock certificate.
 
He’s been sending them at least once a year
since we split up.”

“I
don’t understand.”

“It
goes back to my visit to Palm Beach.
 
Remember, we had lunch one day and he gave me the first of these?
 
He told me then he knew I’d keep his secret,
no matter what happened between us, and he intended to reward what he called my
integrity by making me a major shareholder in the bank.
 
Of course at the time he expected us to end
up married.
 
After we called things off,
he wrote to me, assuring me that he always kept his promises.
 
Every six months or so, I’ve gotten one of
these.”

“You
should have quite a percentage by now.”

“I
signed them over to the orchestra.
 
After
the first time I tried to return them and he accused me of insulting him, I
figured that was the best way to handle things.”
 
Tucking the paper in his jacket pocket, he
took another step closer.
 
“Why would he
insist on you delivering this one?
 
He
could have mailed it like all the others.”

At the
sad smile in her eyes, his throat tightened again.
 
“I suppose he wanted to give us one last
chance.
 
He knows how much I’ve missed
you.
 
And he’s worried about my being
alone once he’s gone.”
 
Her voice broke
and she dropped her head, turning her back on him.