Shampoo (26 page)

(!!!!! News to me. Makes me feel
good)

And we talked about surfing, cause
Melinda had offered at Matt’s party to give me surfing lessons. So
Lachie and I planned it, and while talking to him, I got this
strange, but awesome sensation while looking at him. Kinda like he
is so light, so bright, so beachy, so fun, so the lifestyle that I
want and chase after myself with my weekend trips to the coast…it
just felt great. A connection with a kindred spirit.

(he’s still too hot for me
though)

I was so excited to have surfing
lessons with him, and to be a part of his life.

Matt COMPLETELY ignored me at
work. What is his problem?? I don’t understand boys one
bit.

Anyway, so about four o’clock I
decided fuck Evvy, he doesn’t even WANT to go with me, plus I
remembered he’d made it clear he was NOT staying down all day
Saturday on the beach with me (asshole!!), and by this stage,
Lachie and I had said we’d go down Saturday to the coast for
surfing lessons, so I figured I’d rather stay down Saturday night
after surfing lesson.

AND Joy and I had discussed, over
cubicles –

“
Hey Pinky! You wanna
go out tonight?”

“
Sounds good, Miss
Cash!! You’ve got a date!”

Squeal of delight (Joy’s always
squealing). “Oh, I do love myself a blonde!!”

“
Since when??” called
out Gerry. “You only like blacks, Joy – ”

(God, could this office BE any
more politically incorrect??)

and at that moment,
4pm on a Friday arvo, Renee cracking open a bottle of champagne,
the sun setting through the walls of glass, I DID NOT want to use
my energy to drive in peak-hour traffic all the way down the coast,
then have the EXHAUSTION of Evvy in his bad mood.

I just wanted to go out with Joy,
drink, and forget all these boys.

So that’s what we did!!

First I rang Everard,
and I said, all at once, really quickly, “I’m not going down the
coast tonight, I’m going out with Joy, you didn’t want to go
anyway, plus my first surf lesson is tomorrow and you don’t want to
stay all day, like you made SUPERCLEAR to me on the phone last
night, REMEMBER THAT PHONE CALL, where you compared me to a
rollercoaster ride after eating three hotdogs and drinking a pink
milkshake,

and you don’t know whether to
laugh or THROW UP, well THE RIDE HAS BROKEN DOWN BABY, YOU’RE
FREE!!!!” catch my breath, end scene.

Whew.

I was so pissed with
him still. He sounded so surprised, and all he got out was, “Ahhh,
that’s fine – ” before I interjected, “Okay, BYEEEEE,” and slammed
the phone down.

By this stage, Nat,
Joy and Melissa were all lounging around my cubicle, nodding
approval and laughing.

“
Well done, Pinky,” Joy
laughed.

“
Treat ‘em mean!!”
Melissa said.

“
That was the fucking
funniest thing ever,” Nat said, clutching her sides. She was in
stitches.

BUT THEN…20 minutes later, he
rings back!!!!! And says, “How about we stay down there tomorrow
night??”

Now, I almost fell off my chair.
Everard, offering this??? I was shocked. I was still riding the
pink elephant, into the drunk sunset, on a high from being 2 – 0 in
this Round of Stupid with him, not really considering the
implications of what I’d done. So his call sent me crashing back,
and into a bit of a spin.

All I managed to spit out was,
“Yeah, if you WANT…GULP…I’ll be down there already, YOU’LL have to
drive yourself down there…”

I figured this would be a deal
breaker. He hates wasting money or driving his precious
car.

I thought he’d back
out.

Instead, Ever goes, “That’s fine,”
in a perfectly happy tone of voice.

I couldn’t help going, “Are you
feeling okay, Everard?”

He replied, “Book a
place.”

10.34pm

So Joy came home with me, and we
drank a bottle of red together at home, then Nat dropped us in the
city.

Before we left, both Graham and
Richard rang, Graham wanting to go out

(hello!! I just saw you
yesterday!!)

and Richard, OH MY GOD!! He rings
at 8pm and says, “Aren’t you coming over for dinner??” in a REALLY
hurt and pissed off voice, and I was all, “NOOOOO, I never made
plans with you!!”

“
Yes, you
did!”

“
No, I
didn’t!”

“
You know what?? You’re
SO fucking airy fucking fairy and wrapped up in your own world,
that DOESN’T INCLUDE ME, just don’t bother EVER CALLING ME
AGAIN!!”

“
Richard! I DIDN’T
FUCKING MAKE PLANS - ”

And he slammed the phone
down.

That pissed me off SO MUCH, how
shitty he got with me, when I never made actual plans with him! He
was so mad.

And attacking my personality! So
what if I’m airy fairy? He’s just fucking bossy.

“
Boys,” Joy laughed,
topping up my drink. She laughed, I tried to shrug these stupid
males off!!

Then we just went out and had
fun!!

We went to the Carlton Crest for
dinner, then to this karoke bar in the Sheraton, then to ANOTHER
pub, everywhere we went, the crowd was really old. I attracted an
old guy stalker, who was really creeping me out, but Joy loves
attention from ANY guy, so I left about 12am, more out of escaping
that freak than wanting to go. I left Joy there with
him.

(in my defence, I couldn’t get her
to bloody leave with me)

So Saturday morning I rang Lachie
and Melinda, but they had to babysit, so I decided to go anyway. So
I rang Ever to confirm

(“Woman, I’ll be there!!” was his
response…he strangely sounded so happy and excited over our coast
sleepover),

then I rang Rich, since I thought
I’d better, since he’d had such a spectacular spack attack at me,
and he seemed over his shittiness, until he asked me to come over
that night, and again I had to say no, cause I was staying down the
coast.

Then I had the best day at the
beach by myself.

I arrived at Stardust, a rundown
motel I’ve always wanted to stay at at Labrador, at 12.30pm. Most
people dream of ritzy hotels and penthouses…I dream of crappy
motels and falling apart houseboats.

I’m obsessed with crappy motels in
particular.

They have such atmosphere!! I feel
like I’m on some grand adventure, cross-countrying it across
America or some far off land, like someone from a great novel or
movie.

I’ve always wanted to stay at
Stardust. It catches my eye every trip down to the coast. Every
time I drive to the coast I take the Oxenford exit and came through
the back way, through Labrador then into Surfers Paradise. I always
pass it and just LONG to stay there. It was the first place I
thought of when Evvy said his infamous words, “Book a
place.”

Of course, being so ‘airy fucking
fairy,’

(I’m gonna run with that one FOR
AGES)

I didn’t book a place, but figured
I’d just wing it on the day and rock up.

Stardust looks like something out
of Las Vegas. A reject (like a Goonie) out of Las Vegas, but Las
Vegas nonetheless.

It has the same diamond shaped,
glittering sign as its more famous counterpart, but that’s where
the similarities end.

The lawn is overgrown, the bottom
half of the building out the front has a giant section all smashed
in…it looks like something out of a horror movie!!

(I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!)

Once I paid for the night at the
very dodgy reception area

(no desk, just a couch and crap
everywhere…$45, bargain!!!!!),

I walked up the stairs to my room,
stepped inside and discovered two things (kind of worrying things):
the carpet was SOPPING WET, like a flood had been through wet, and
the door wouldn’t lock at all.

If Evvy hadn’t been coming down to
stay, even The Airy Fucking Fairy Queen would’ve requested a room
change. But with him coming, and no belongings to really steal, I
just shrugged it off.

What was really cool about this
old, crappy motel – I freakishly loved the view from the bathroom
window…which was actually MISSING the glass part of the window. Was
just a giant gaping hole. But the view, AHHH, I loved it!!!! Was
all bushes and trees, and right smack bang amidst them, the
Montezuma’s restaurant sign.

You could trick yourself, and
imagine you’re in an Aztec jungle, and suddenly there’s ruins
there.

(except it’s a Mexican restaurant
sign)

I don’t know why, but I feel
obsessed with that view. Like I know it’s one of those
views/moments I will remember forever, like it’s significant in
some way, important.

So I sunbaked on the beach for
awhile, drove around, rang Julia, got back to the motel about 3pm,
then went for the most beautiful 2 hour walk along the water at
Labrador. I started right outside Stardust and kept walking, away
from Surfers.

I love Labrador so much. I loved
that walk I went on. Felt almost magical. Was just so STUNNING, the
way the sun was setting, how the water looked and felt, the air,
the light, the blue sky forever, the seagulls, the romance and
tranquillity of it all. It’s something you would never tire of,
never take for granted. You could just live your life here, and be
forever happy. What could ever break you, when you have this as
your view each day?? This to come home to??

It feels like home. Anywhere on
the Gold Coast.

So I got back to the motel about
5.30pm, figuring Ever would be there soon, so I had a shower, then
hopped into bed and watched tv. The entire room was pink: sheets,
quilt, pillows, towels, tablecloth, wet rugs. I felt so at
home.

Comforted, you know?? In my little
dive. It says a lot about me, I think, that dodgy dives comfort me.
Not riches and luxury.

Then I HEARD Evvy arrive,
Christina Aquilera booming out of his car.

I’m so reassured he’s THAT
confident in his masculinity that he can play ‘What a Girl Wants’
that loud, and still show his face in public.

I’d texted him the number of the
room, so he knocked, I yelled, “Come in!”, he entered, took two
squelching steps, cried, “UGH!!! What is this!!!” and I laughed
from my comfortable (dry) spot in bed.

Evvy looked around the room.
“Ahhhhh, I’m BEYOND SPEECH right now…”

“
Isn’t it GREAT!!! I
LOVE THIS PLACE!!!”

He dumped his overnight
bag

(black, sleek, expensive, like his
car, like his personality)

on the rotting table

(we both watched as the table
suddenly lurched to the side)

and shook his head in amazement.
“I can’t believe this.”

“
Cool,
huh!!”

“
Why is the FLOOR
WET??”

“
I don’t know. Thorough
shampoo job??”

“
I don’t think this is
from cleaning the carpet…”

Ew. Hadn’t thought that far.
Thanks Evvy.

He was trying to shut and lock the
door behind him. “This door doesn’t even fucking lock!!”

“
Welcome to the party,
Everard!” I giggled madly.

He turned around slowly in horror,
giving up on the door. “You know the whole front end of this place
is smashed up hey?”

“
Isn’t it GREAT??? So
atmospheric!!”

Ever stared at me in
wonder.

(wonder, or “Should I have her
committed?”)

“
You know, when you
said you wanted hotels and champagne and strawberries, this really
wasn’t what I was picturing.”

I laughed. “You constantly lump me
with every other woman you know, Everard.”

“
Something I won’t be
doing any more, I tell ya.” A pause, as he peered into the
bathroom. “Oh MY GOD, there’s no WINDOW IN HERE – ”

“
Isn’t this an
ADVENTURE??”
“You’re so…STRANGE.”

“
I’m not the one who
listens to Christina Aquilera. ‘What a girl WANTS, what a girl
NEEDS – ” I started singing and laughing madly.

Ever laughed. “Shut up. Most GUYS
I know wouldn’t even stay here. I don’t think Tom or Clewsy or Mark
would EVER stay here – ”

“
Bunch of
Commodore-driving princesses, they are!”

“
This isn’t what I
thought you meant when you say you love to stay at HOTELS down
here.”

“
This is what I meant.
Crappy, atmospheric places like this!”

“
This is a MO-TEL, not
a HO-TEL – ”

“
I beg to differ.
Plenty of hoes here!!”