Shameful Celia (The Mail Order Brides of Boot Creek Book 3) (9 page)

“
I
’m already married
.”

“How on earth is
that
possible?”

He glanced over his shoulder, to make sure he would not be overheard, but he hadn’t a clue I sat in a carriage three feet away.

“It’s a long story,” he said glumly. “I haven’t seen her in five years. She ran off with my best friend.”

“Oh, Pastor Kinsley.” Mrs. Hershey’s face was awash with sympathy. “How dreadful. I had no idea whatsoever.”

“No one knows. I never wanted to marry again, so this matter hadn’t been a problem … until now.”

“I’m sure something can be done. It sounds like you were abandoned.”

“I was.”

“Then maybe the marriage is null and void? Perhaps, she’s already had it taken care of. I’m sure she wanted to marry that other person.”

“I don’t know.”

“Where did the marriage occur?”

“Missouri.”

“Write to the county clerk, and find out what the status is.”

Someone approached, and he said, “I’ll see what I can do, Mrs. Hershey. Thank you for bringing this issue to my attention.”

She watched him go, as a friend stopped to talk to her. I continued to feed Noah, while my mind reeled. When Doris had a moment free, she opened the door and stepped into the carriage, sliding onto the seat across from me.

“Did you hear that?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, the mystery is finally revealed.”

“He’s already married. That explains a great deal.”

“It most certainly does,” she exclaimed, throwing her hands into the air. “No wonder he never took a wife. We’ve been talking about his bachelorhood for years now. I’ve tossed more women at him than I can count,” she chortled. “But all is not lost, my dear. All is not lost. Once he finds out about the marriage, he’ll be better able to move forward. He might have to dissolve it himself, I suppose. What woman leaves her husband?”

“I don’t know.”

“It must have devastated his pride, the poor man. I’ve always sensed his unhappiness. Now I know where it’s coming from.”

I sighed, lifting Noah over a shoulder to burp him. “Well, it doesn’t solve my problems. I’ve a date tonight with Mr. Brittle. We’re having dinner outside at sunset. He’s invited Noah too.”

“I told Nicolas he’d better offer for you soon, before someone else does.”

“He can’t.” My attitude remained pragmatic, although hearing that he was married had been stunning. “I’m looking forward to a little romance. It would be lovely to sit under the stars and have a meal with a handsome man.”

She looked pained. “You’re not meant for Chuck. You love Nicolas. Are you not happy about this?”

“Learning that he’s married? No. I’m not happy.”

“But you came here under false pretenses, Celia. You lied too. I hate to do this, but it’s the truth. You’re not above a lie yourself.”

I nodded, accepting her criticism. “True. None of us are perfect.”

“He’s struggling with what happened, but he’s admitted it now. I’m sure he’ll rectify the situation as soon as possible.”

“Perhaps.”

“And you’ll still have supper with Mr. Brittle?”

“I don’t see why not.”

“You’re either a stupid girl or very smart. I can’t decide which it is.”

“I don’t know. Until I’ve a firm promise from Nick, I must assume he doesn’t want me. Any judge would annul the marriage based on abandonment of affection or whatever it is they call it. He shouldn’t have to live alone for his entire life, but maybe he wishes it. He’d prefer to stew in unhappiness, than take a chance on another woman, who may break his heart. Some men are like that.”

“But you wouldn’t. You’re salt of the earth people, Celia.” She smiled kindly. “You would never hurt him.”

“Thank you. You’re right. I would never leave him. I adore him. Not seeing him has been the hardest thing. It’s been dreadful.” Tears filled my eyes, and I willed them away. “I love being with him. I love talking to him. I miss him.”

Her hand covered mine. “Then something will have to be done about it.”

“If the Lord wants me to marry the preacher man, I’m sure I will. Otherwise, it looks like I might be a rancher’s wife.” I shrugged. “I have almost no control over a thing, Mrs. Hershey. All I can do is take care of Noah and pray.”

“And you’re doing a fine job at that. That baby’s grown since I last saw him.”

“He’s a rascal, keeping me up at night.”

“They’re all like that.” The door of the carriage opened, and Mayor Hershey stood before us. “Hello, dear. Are you ready?”

“Yes, I am.” Mr. Hershey glanced at me. “Mrs. Wellington. How are you?”

“I’m well. How are you?”

He sat next to his wife. “Excellent.”

“We’re having lunch, Ralph.”

“Where?”

“At the hotel.”

“I’ll have the driver drop you off.”

“Thank you, my dear.”

There were four other ladies at lunch, one of them being the Sheriff’s wife, Leslie, and her teenage daughter, Tamarra. We sat at a large table in the middle of the room eating and laughing, while I held Noah, who slept soundly. I adored talking with other women, learning a great deal about local events and gossip, but I had grown tired, wanting to take a nap before I prepared for my evening with Chuck. Once the dessert plates had been taken away, I excused myself, leaving my luncheon companions to wander back to the Men’s Emporium.

Passing the saloon, a man exited the establishment, thrusting open the batwing doors and striding out onto the boardwalk. For a moment, I saw into the establishment, spying someone who looked exactly like Chuck Brittle sitting at a table with a pink clad saloon girl on his lap. There were dozens of men inside, laughing and gambling, while several saloon girls paraded around in frilly, low-cut bodices with feather boas around their necks. Curious, I approached the window, which needed a thorough cleaning, glancing inside at the patrons.

“Lookin’ fer yer husband?” asked a toothless man.

“No.” I had seen enough.

The person with the floozy on his lap had indeed been Chuck Brittle. One hand was on her belly, while the other grazed her bosom. Disgusted and disappointed, I carried on, determined to go home.

“I can go in and get yer husband, if you want.”

“That’s not necessary.”

I had suffered two disappointments today, the first being that Nicolas was secretly married and now this. My opinion of men had sunk rather low at the moment, and I doubted it would improve at all in an hour. My desire for a sunset meal had died. I would eat at home alone instead. I could not even hope that Nicolas would join me. He seemed to be elsewhere in the evenings now.

Letting myself into Nick’s room, I began to putter around the kitchen, filling the kettle with water and loading wood into the cook stove. While the water heated, I sat on the couch and unbuttoned my dress, as Noah latched onto me quite aggressively, gulping greedily at the milk that spurted into his little mouth.

“Oh, for Pete’s sake. You’d think I never fed you.” It was while thus engaged that Nicolas returned home. Glancing over my shoulder, I said, “Hello.” I worried he might be upset to find me here, but he seemed resigned, his demeanor peculiar.

“I think we should talk.”

“If you want.” I answered vaguely, but my heart had picked up several extra beats in anticipation of what he might have to say.

“I revealed something today. I’ve been keeping a rather large secret.”

“You have?”

He unbuttoned the top of his shirt, loosening the bowtie. “Yes.” Then he placed a leather satchel on the table. Turning to look at me, his eyes roamed over my face before lowering to the baby. “I’m jealous of Noah.”

“What?”

“That’s exactly where I long to be.”

I stared at him, shocked.

He smiled somewhat sheepishly. “Sorry.” He sat on the rocking chair, resting his arms on the wood on either side. “I have to tell you something that might be upsetting.”

“The woman in the drawing.”

“Yes, that woman is the problem. I’m married to her.”

“I see.”

“She left me five years ago. She ran off with my best friend.” He closed his eyes. “It’s a humiliation I’ve never spoken about. But it was more than that. She broke my heart. She destroyed my faith in women. She was everything to me.”

“I’m sorry, Nick.”

He glanced at the floor. “I never thought I’d feel this way about anyone again. I truly thought I’d be alone. I thought God wanted it that way.”

“We can’t know what God’s plan is. It’s always a mystery.”

“Her name was Emma Cassidy. I’ve no idea where she went. She ran off with Joseph Wok, and that’s all I’ve heard. They were my childhood friends. We were best friends. She was my first and only love. We promised to always be together. Then after I married her, I discovered she’d been carrying on with Joe.”

“How awful.”

“They disappeared one night.” He began to rock, back and forth, the wood creaking. “I questioned everything after that. I didn’t trust myself. It seemed like everyone in my life knew too, including my parents. I thought they’d lied to me, and maybe they had. I left Cass County and never looked back, cursing them all.”

“I can understand why.”

“No one knew me here. It was a fresh start.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Noah had finished eating, and I worked the buttons on the dress quickly.

“Because I want to marry you.”

I had been waiting to hear those words, those precious, magical words. “You do?”

He nodded solemnly. “Yes. Of course I do.”

“You said you helped me only because I was in need. You’d do the same for anyone.”

“I lied.”

“Oh, dear.”

“I didn’t know how to deal with the Emma situation. I never cared before, if the marriage still existed or not. It wasn’t until you stumbled into my life that I wanted to be free.”

“But if you shackle yourself to me, you’ll be obligated to take care of me and Noah. You’ll lose your freedom that way too.”

“Gladly.” He grinned slightly. “If that’s the definition of suffering, I’ll take it.”

“Oh, Nick.”

“I adore the way you say my name.”

“
I
should put him down
. He’s asleep.” I glanced at Noah, who lay limply in my arms.

“All right.”

“I’ve water in the kettle. It’s going to boil soon.”

“He can sleep on my bed, if you want.”

“That’ll do.” A moment later, I left Noah in the center of the bed, wrapped in a thin blanket. When I returned to the parlor, Nicolas stood at the stove. “Would you like some tea?” I asked, feeling a rush of emotions at this happy turn of events.

“Yes.” As I approached, he drew me into his arms. “You’re staying here. You’re not leaving again.”

My nose pressed against his neck, inhaling his scent. “I didn’t want to leave before, but you made me.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I wasn’t in my right mind.”

“What about now?”

His lips brushed my cheek. “I’m insane with jealousy. Seeing you with Chuck annoyed the tar out of me.” He gripped me tightly for emphasis. “I wanted to jump from the pulpit and smash his face in. He has no business being anywhere near you.”

“Nick! Oh, goodness.”

“I know. I’m a man of God, but I wasn’t feeling anything but anger at that moment. It was possibly my worst sermon ever.”

“No, you were fine.” Being in his arms pleased me to no end. “I don’t think anyone noticed that anything was amiss. I didn’t.”

“What does he mean to you? Are you in love with him?”

I met his gaze, noting the stark look in his eyes. “No, absolutely not. He asked to have supper with me tonight, and I had said yes, but I don’t wish to see him now or ever again.”

“Are you trying to make me jealous? It’s working.”

“I need a husband, but I’d never marry someone I didn’t feel something for. I know that’s hard to believe, because of my first husband and how I came to be in Boot Creek, with the whole mail order bride thing, but I’d never make that choice today. I’ve decided I want more out of life. I want to love whoever I marry. It’s entirely unrealistic,” I grinned, “but I would prefer it.”

“I’m eternally grateful Earnest Hobart is an imbecile. If he can’t see your worth, he doesn’t deserve you. And you
should
marry the person you love, but that person needs to find out if he’s still not already married.” He released me, strolling over to the couch, where he sat, holding his face in his hands. “I honestly didn’t think I would ever feel this way again. I thought Emma had torn my heart out and that was it. I didn’t think I’d ever need it.”

Removing the kettle from the burner, I left it near the sink. I went to Nicolas, standing before him, while the urge to run my fingers through his hair had me doing just that. “What will we do?”

“I have to write someone for help. I don’t know.”

“The county clerk of Missouri?”

“I guess. I’ll ask Mayor Hershey about it tomorrow.”

“I knew you were married.”

He glanced at me. “What?”

“I was in Mrs. Hershey’s carriage when you told her. I was feeding Noah.”

“Goodness gracious. What you must’ve thought of me. How it must’ve sounded.”

“I understood everything rather well. I knew something was bothering you, but I had no clue what it was. It all made sense when I heard about her.”

He took my hand, but then he grasped my waist, drawing me onto his lap. “You’re so lovely, Celia. I can’t take my eyes off you whenever I see you, even when you looked like a street urchin. I’ve been miserable this week without you. I refuse to live like that. I’m willing to marry you anyhow, even if I’m already married. No one would know. I don’t care either. I just want you.”

“Nick … ” His blue eyes sparkled with determination. “I’m sure it will all be sorted out soon enough.”

He grasped my face, bringing me close. “I love you, Celia.”

“I love you too,” I murmured, kissing him.

One arm remained around my back, while his free hand began to undo the buttons on the dress. I did not have the strength or the will to resist him, not knowing what he intended. It felt as if I melted into him, not just physically and mentally, but with my entire being. I was conquered and ravished and blissfully happy. I would give this man whatever he wanted and take what he offered. Kissing his cheek, I marveled at the abrasive quality of his beard, as it scratched my face. Like a cat, I clawed and rubbed myself against him, wanting to be as close as possible.

He had exposed the tops of my breasts, the heaving mounds straining against the material of the chemise. Having an abundance of milk, more than enough for Noah, I was always overly full, and any sort of stimulation could trigger a leak. His lips were on my neck, kissing and nibbling gently, while I threaded my fingers through golden hair. The hands on my waist had moved upwards, following the edges of my ribcage, ending beneath my breasts, which had begun to spurt profusely.

“I’m making a mess.”

“I’m so jealous of my son,” he murmured. “He has everything I want.” Pressing his face to my bosom, he held me this way for the longest time, as if I were a lifeline and he a drowning man. His hot breath warmed my skin. “Will you marry me, Celia?”

“Yes.”

“I wish it were now.”

“So do I, but I’ve only just had a baby.”

He seemed to understand my meaning. “I know. We have to wait for a few reasons, but it won’t make it any easier.”

“You can kiss me whenever you want.”

He met my gaze. “I plan to.”

“I didn’t think I’d ever be this happy. I didn’t know it was possible.”

“I can’t rejoice completely until I know I’m free.”

“What if you’re still married?”

“Then I’ll have it annulled. I pray it won’t take long.”

“If it’s God’s will that we’re together, it will happen.”

“He brought you to me. He gave me Noah.”

I smiled. “You’ll raise him as your own?”

“Yes, of course. He’ll have a brother or sister soon enough anyhow.”

“Oh, my stars.”

“I have to build you a house. We’re going to need space. I’ve been a frugal man for years, and I’ve some money from my uncle. I was his favorite nephew. I say we look for land as soon as we can. I don’t want to waste another minute. I want you to have all the nice things you deserve.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat. “I’m already happy. I can’t imagine it being any better, Nick. You spoil me.”

“I haven’t even begun, sweetheart.”

All the promise of a life together lay before me, ripe for the taking. It was far more than I had ever asked for, but I would gladly take it. “I can’t believe I’m going to marry the most handsome man in all of Boot Creek.”

“I can’t believe I’m marrying an Irish firecracker.”

I giggled, “Oh, that’s true. I’ve quite a temper. You’ve never seen it.”

“Yes, I have, in the alleyway. I’ll know better not to get on your bad side.” He grinned.

“Are you sure? You don’t know what you’re getting into.”

“I can’t wait to find out.”

“I come from hardy stock. That much is true.”

“I’m more bookish than outlaw, but you don’t seem to mind.”

“I can’t find anything wrong with you, Nick. I think you’re perfect.”

In my mind’s eye, I envisioned the house he mentioned, with a garden out back surrounded by a fence to keep the rabbits and deer at bay. All the promise of the life I had wanted waited for me. The emotions this produced made me want to cry with happiness. Leaning into him, I rested my chin on his shoulders.

“Am I too heavy?”

“Not at all. You’re quite slight, Celia, even when you were pregnant.”

“There wasn’t enough food.”

“I’m sorry you’ve had a rough life. I want to change all of that. I want to take care of you and treat you like a queen.”

“I want to … ” the words that fell from my mouth were rather naughty, and I whispered them in his ear.

He drew in a sharp breath. “Celia.”

“I’ve never felt this, Nick, but with you, I know I’d adore being intimate. It wouldn’t feel like a duty. You wouldn’t make me want to retch. I’m quite eager for us to be together in this way.”

“You’re rather forward.” Appreciation gleamed in his eyes. “I’m foreseeing a new type of torture. I hope we don’t have to wait long until we can marry. I’m not sure if I’ll survive it. I’ve been picturing us together in this manner as well. You’re not the only one who’s curious.” He held me, while kissing the tops of my bosom. “You smell so sweet. I imagine you taste just as sweet.”

The husky tenor of his voice sent a shiver down my spine. I had begun to leak again, which left a widening stain at the front of the chemise. “Oh, gracious. I’ll have to wash everything.”

“You’ll have to take it all off first.”

Our eyes met, as heat flared around us, tinged with a fair amount of sensual energy. “I … ” Words failed me, because the things I wanted could not be spoken out loud, although I had whispered it. I kissed him instead, attacking his mouth as if I hadn’t eaten in days. He returned the favor, sliding a silken tongue across my lips. We remained locked in the embrace for long minutes, our mouths fused, while a clock ticked in the background and voices sounded in the hallway.

Gasping, he pushed me away. “I have to see the mayor.” He got to his feet, adjusting his trousers quickly, while raking fingers through his hair.

“What?”

“I’ve a few things to arrange, Celia. I’ll be back.” I must have looked downtrodden, because I felt bereft, wanting to continue to kiss and tease him. “Don’t pout,” he laughed. “I’ll return as soon as I can.”

“Where are you going?”

“The courthouse. There has to be a way to clear this up, and then I’m going to marry you.”

“Tonight?” It was impossible, but a girl could dream.

“I’ve no clue.” He drew me into his arms, holding me close, while whispering, “But soon. Very soon. I won’t be able to resist you for long. You don’t seem to want to help in this matter either,” he chuckled. “Go have your tea. I shall return shortly.” He left me then, hurrying from the apartment.

I waited for him, making tea and a snack, while sitting at the table with a newspaper. It seemed an hour before the door swung open again. His grin warmed my heart.

“Did you miss me?”

Jumping to my feet, I approached him, worried and excited all at the same time. “What happened?”

“I’ve put a request in for information, but it’s going to take some time, Celia. Everything’s in Missouri, and I won’t know for two or three weeks if I’m still married or not. If I am, then I can apply for a divorce based on the grounds of desertion. It’s also possible the marriage has already been annulled. We won’t know for a while. I’m sorry.” He held me close. “This will be torture.”

“But it won’t go on forever. You’ll be free to marry again soon enough.”

“I’m forever preaching about patience, yet I find I have none. Not where you’re concerned.”

I held his face, whispering, “We can wait, my love. We can do other things, if you like. I have some ideas.”

“You brazen woman,” he murmured huskily. Kissing my cheek, he held me close. “We shall endeavor to behave ourselves.” I met his gaze, as he winked at me. “Mostly.”