Shadows in Me (6 page)

Caitlin

It had only been ten minutes since Vincent had left when my phone started ringing.  I looked at the screen, but didn’t recognise the number.  I let it go to voice mail; I wasn’t in the mood. Five minutes later I got a text message.

Unknown:  Answer your phone!!

Me:  Who are you and why should I?

Unknown:  Gosh princess, did you not save my number on your phone yet?

Me: Brent, sorry.

Unknown:  Are you home?

Me:  Why

Unknown: Do you always need to answer a question with a question?

Me:  Yes wise ass.

Unknown:  Ok then just open the door Princess

Me: Why

Unknown: Cause I am standing like an idiot outside it  

Holy shit, this wasn’t good, what if Vincent came back??

Me: You can’t be here

Unknown:  Why not? Lover-boy has gone home. 

Me: BRENT

Unknown:  CAITLIN, just open the door, pretty please.  I brought food

I walked to the door and looked through the peephole.  True as nuts…he was standing at my front door! 

Me: Go home! You shouldn’t be here

Unknown:  I’m not leaving till you open the door. 

I dropped my phone on the side-table and opened the door just enough to peep through.   

“Ok, so I’ve opened the door, now you can go home.”  I hid my body behind the door, I’d been in my PJ’s the whole day, really no way to invite guests into my home. 

“Caitlin, just let me in, I won’t bite you.  You’re being a little bit rude Princess, I’m just being a good friend, came to check on you and I brought you food.” Brent held up the brown paper packet from a deli down the road. 

“Ok you can come in, but not for long, and I’m in my PJ’s so no snotty comments, OK.”  I pushed the door open to let him in. Somehow I knew this decision was going to come back and bite me in the ass.  Somewhere down the line I would pay for this. 

“See? That wasn’t too bad, I told you I wouldn’t bite.”  Brent placed the food on the table and then picked up my phone. 

“What you doing with my phone?”  I tried to grab the phone from him but he held me back with one hand while pushing buttons with the other. 

“Saving my number.  Maybe you’ll answer me next time.”  He handed me back my phone and made himself comfortable on the couch. 

“So, what movie are we watching tonight?”  He folded his arms behind his head and crossed his legs in front. 

“Are you quite comfortable there?”  I was trying my hardest to look angry, staring down at him with my hands on my hips; I was failing miserable at it though.  How could I be angry with him? In all the years that I had known him, and the little time we had spent together, I had never seen him so relaxed, so playful. I did feel comfortable with him, I felt like I could be myself. 

“Oh come on Princess, cut a man some slack, I know lover-boy is on his way home, I saw him when he left. Don’t worry, he didn’t see me.  I don’t have cable at my place I came to watch a movie.”  He smirked at me, and patted the couch next to him. 

There was no way in hell I was going to sit next to him on the couch. Although I felt comfortable with him being around, I knew there was sexual tension between us, I had felt it three years ago and I had felt it on Friday night again. 

“You want something to drink?”  I walked to the kitchen to put the kettle on. 

“Sure what you offering?”

I turned around to find Brent standing in the kitchen with me; I didn’t even hear him come into the room.  He looked different than I remembered, he was a little taller, his face a little harder, and holy hell, so was his body.  

I tried desperately to focus on the task at hand.  I turned around and started setting up the cups for coffee. 

“Coffee or hot coco?” 

“I’ll take my coffee black with one sugar.”   He came to stand next to me leaning his butt against the counter, his arms crossed in front of him. 

“So tell me, when did you get back? The last I heard from Sam, you were still in Africa?” 

“Got back a few months ago. So you kept tabs on me? Here I thought you’d forgotten all about me.”

“I wasn’t keeping tabs on you, she just mentioned it.”

“It’s nice to know you cared.”

“I did care and I do care, you saved my life, I will be forever grateful for what you did. I hope you understand that.”  I felt that sting in my heart again, thinking back to that dreadful day.  If it wasn’t for Brent, I would not be here today.  My mind was somewhere else; I was pouring the hot water into our cups and almost burnt myself. I would have if Brent hadn’t grabbed the kettle out of my hands. 

“Caitlin, you ok.” 

“Sorry, just got a little distracted.”

Brent placed his hands over mine, his calming touch was just the trigger to push me over, tears rolled down my cheeks. 

“Hey, why the tears?”  Brent turned me around to face him; he placed his finger under my chin and lifted my face to look at him. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be such a baby, the memories of that day, it just gets to me sometimes. I thought I loved him, I thought he loved me, I was such a fool, if you didn’t do what you did.”  I tried to be strong but my emotions were all over the show, and being sick just made it all worse. 

Brent let go of my face and put his arms around me.  He pulled me against his chest hugging me tightly to his body. I put my arms around him and held on.  The flood gates opened and I cried, again. I finally let go of all the guilt and pain I had been feeling.  Brent scooped me into his arms and carried me to the couch. 

After what felt like a lifetime, I finally composed myself and was able to talk again.  We spoke about everything.  He told me about his mom and the abuse in his childhood, the reason he saw the signs between Hunter and I in school, the reason he felt so protective over me then already.  He told me how he felt when Vincent had told him I was missing, and then finding me with Hunter.  I could see the pain in his eyes; he felt that he had let me down.  He also told me a little bit about his time in Africa, and the friends he had lost. 

Before we knew it, it was already after one in the morning.  I had to be at work at seven, sick or not. Chef Nathaniel would not take kindly to me being off after a weekend of “drinking”.  He was at the club on Friday night, and had seen us partying.  

After Brent left, I locked up and headed to bed. I grabbed my phone off the table and saw that I had 3 missed calls, two from Vincent and one from Heather.  I listened to the voice calls.

Vincent:  You must be asleep already, I hope you feel better in the morning, and remember to take your medication.  I love you my angel, we will be together soon.  Get better; I will try call you again in the morning. 

Heather:  Hello dolly, where are you? Vincent just got back and said you’re still not feeling too great.  Give me a call so we can chat, I’m very interested to know what’s happening your side. From what I can see you didn’t tell him Brent is in town.  I hope you know what you are doing? 

I placed the phone on the nightstand before taking a shower.  I knew Heather was right, I needed to tell Vincent about Brent. But then again, I would only be in town for another month.  Maybe I could keep the two of them apart for that long.  I didn’t want to cause unnecessary unhappiness?  What was wrong with us being friends? Why should Vincent have a problem with it? I wasn’t doing anything wrong, we were just friends. Was I not allowed to have friends? I knew I was just trying to justify not telling Vincent about Brent.   I took my medication like a good girl and climbed into bed.  I knew I better text Vincent good night; if I phoned him, he would pick up that I was hiding something from him by my voice. 

Me:  I’ve taken my medication and getting back into bed. Thank you for the message, sorry I missed your call. 

Almost immediately I got a text back. 

Vincent:  Good girl. Hope you feel better soon, love you like crazy. 

Me.  Love u 2

I set my alarm and placed my phone on the nightstand.  I wouldn’t be going for my run in the morning, but there was no way of getting out of work. 

I had a surprisingly restful sleep, no dreams, no nightmares, just sleep. I woke up feeling a hundred times better.  My talk with Brent last night was just the therapy I needed. I finally had someone who fully understood what was going on in my mind.  Not just about what happened with the shooting, but also my relationship with Hunter.  The love I had felt for him, and also the loss and guilt afterwards.  Having Brent in my life was a good thing for me, and I decided that when I saw Vincent again, I was going to tell him about Brent, and that I want to be friends with him. Vincent would just have to accept it.  If he loved me and wanted to be with me, he would have to accept all of me, and that means accepting my friends too. 

I got to work bright and early, still feeling a little crappy, but not as bad as the day before.  Chef Nathaniel decided I couldn’t work with the food, so I attended to the vegetable garden. 

Being a Monday, Duke’s was closed, and Brent was waiting for me outside my apartment when I got home. 

“You took your time getting home. Come, I’ve made plans for us.”  He took my hand and was starting to pull me with him.

I pulled my hand from his. “What, you’re just assuming I’ll go with you? I just got home, I still need to bath. You can’t just demand I go with you.  Don’t you think you should ask if I have my own plans first?”

“Oh please Princess, you look fine just as you are. We’re just going to grab a bite, I’ll have you home before bedtime.” 

There was no arguing with him, I closed my eyes and shook my head.  I may as well. 

We landed up at a Burger joint on the beach front.  The food was amazing and the company even better.  We talked and talked, about everything. I even told Brent about Alexis. He laughed at me for being so jealous, and it made me feel better, but I could see in his eyes that he understood how I felt. There was something brewing in his mind. 

This became our ritual, every Monday he would come and fetch me after work, and we would have dinner at our new place. 

At least twice a week the girls and I would land up at Dukes. I soon learned that the owner’s daughter Cassy, was not too fond of me.  I saw the way she looked at Brent, I asked him if there was anything between the two of them, but he said they were only friends.  I couldn’t believe men could be so blind, it was obvious to me that she saw it differently. 

It was the week before Thanks giving, I really missed my family, and I missed Vincent like crazy. I decided that I was going to go to Dukes on my own.  The girls wanted to go to a night club, but I just wasn’t in the mood for people bumping into me, and having to scream at the top of my lungs just to order a drink. 

By the time I got to Dukes, Brent was already on stage doing his thing.  He was singing one of Nickelback’s songs, Miss You.  I loved his voice, it was so perfectly suited to that style of music.  I was lucky enough to find an open table to the left of the stage.  He saw me walk in and winked at me when I sat down. I could feel the blush spread across my body.  Hell, this man knew how to make me blush.  I was focused on him singing and didn’t see Cassy standing next to me. 

“You ready to place your order?”  There was a hint of bitchiness in her voice. 

I nearly jumped out of my skin, I looked up.  “Yes please, I’ll have a glass of white wine.”  She didn’t even respond, she just turned and walked away.  By the time she got back with my drink Brent was finished his set and was about to take a break. He was making his way over to me just as Cassy got to the table. I looked at him and smiled, and just as I reached up to take the glass from her, she spilled it all over my top. 

“Sorry my mistake,” she said sarcastically.  “I’m a little clumsy tonight.”  She picked the glass up from the table and turned to walk away. 

I looked at her, shocked.  Before she turned I swear I saw a slight grin on her face. 

“What the hell Cassy? Are you drunk or something?”  There was a hint of humour in Brent’s voice. 

The little shit thought it was an accident, but I knew better. I knew she didn’t like me, or that she liked Brent a little too much, and was claiming what was hers. 

“Sorry babes, I didn’t mean to mess on your special friend. So sorry Caitlin, let me get you a new drink.”  She walked off to the bar. 

“I don’t think I should have come out tonight.”  I got up and started walking out. 

“Where you going?”  Brent reached for my hand but I pulled it away. 

“Open your eyes Brent.  That was no accident.” 

Caitlin

It had been three days since I had seen Brent at Dukes, he had tried to call me and even tried to come and see me, but I just wasn’t in the mood for drama.  It was obvious to me that there was something going on with him and Cassy, and well, I had my own boyfriend, so I didn’t want to make trouble for another girl.  Brent needed to sort out his shit.  I had spoken to Heather about it and she agreed that I needed to step away; I needed to focus on my own love life.

I hadn’t spoken to Vincent the whole day, and I was getting worried.  We hadn’t seen each other for a week.  I was thinking that I should just pack a bag and go home for the weekend.

I opened the door to find Vincent standing in front of me.  He was dressed in smart black pants, a white shirt with a black tie, and his white dinner jacket.  I had never seen him dressed like that, he took my breath away.

“Why are you just standing there my angel?  Are you not going to invite me in?”

“Uh…sorry you just …. “  I couldn’t speak.

He stepped forward, dipped his head and kissed me, at first it was soft and gentle, but it soon turned into something more, something we’d both been longing for.  He broke away from me with a big sigh.  He pressed a kiss on the top of my head and pulled me tight against him.

“I love you so very much, you are my world and this distance is just too much.  I can’t wait for you to come home to me.”  His voice so soft, almost a whisper.

“I love you too.”  I had never known a love like this, the need to be consumed by someone like him was almost too much.  It felt like my heart was going to explode.

“Come, I have something special planned for you.”  He took my hand and started walking towards the door.

“Wait, where are we going?” I pulled back a little, I’ve just got home from one hell of a long day at work, I smell of food and my hair is a mess.

“It’s a surprise, come we need to leave now to still make it before sunset.”

“Can I at least have a shower and dress into something a little more suited?”  I looked him up and down with brows raised, he was looking all smart and sexy and here I was standing in my chef’s jacket.

“Please be quick.”  As I turned to walk away I felt his hand come down on my ass with a hard smack.  I yelped in surprise, I turned my head and stuck my tongue out at him.   The look on his face, made me quickly sprint to my room and slam the door behind me.  I knew what was on his mind, but hell, I wasn’t ready for a hiding from him, and once we started with that we’d never get to see the sunset.

After a quick shower I walked into my room to find him sitting in the chair in front of the window, the most beautiful vintage, dusty pink dress lay out on my bed, it was paired with gold sandals.

“You picked this for me?” I lifted the dress from the bed and held it against my skin.

“Well I had some help, I took Heather with me, and I wanted this night to be special.”  He walked towards me and took the dress from my hands.

“Let me help you.”  He lay the dress back on the bed, I still had my towel wrapped around me.  He stood in front of me, the look in his eyes sent shivers down my spine. I could feel the heat in my belly.  I was desperately fighting to keep my lust under control, and could feel myself losing the battle.  He very slowly ran his thumb over the swell of my breast, before unwrapping the towel, letting it drop to the floor.  He ran his hand down my arm and took my hands in his.

“You are so beautiful.”

I could feel a warm glow spreading across my body, even after being together for so long he still managed to knock my feet right out from under me.  I wobbled a little, and he pulled me tight against body.  I could feel he was just as affected as I was.  We stood like that for a while.  I rested my head on his chest, I could hear his heart beating fast, but he was very controlled.  After a few seconds he kissed me on the head and then let me go.

“I think I should go wait in the kitchen, if we keep this up we’ll never get out of here.” He walked out, leaving me standing in the middle of the room, wet with desire.

Ten minutes later I walked into the kitchen, Vincent was sitting at the counter.  When I walked in he got up but didn’t say a word, he just stared at me.  I had put my hair into a messy bun, and done my make-up.  I felt like a princess.

“You look beautiful.”  He walked towards me and kissed me again.  He took me by the hand, lifted my suitcase off the floor and started walking toward the door.

“Let’s go, we’ve wasted enough time, I can’t wait to show you your surprise.

I looked at the suitcase in his hand. “What is that for?”

“Oh, this?” Vincent looked down and shrugged his shoulders.  “We won’t be coming back here tonight, or the rest of the weekend.”  He said, matter-of-factly.

“But my work!”  I started panicking; I needed to work this weekend even if it is Thanks Giving.

He just smiled at me and started walking out the apartment.  “Don’t worry, I’ve sorted it out, your boss is not expecting you for the rest of the weekend.”

Vincent’s Dodge was standing in front of the building.  He opened the door for me and helped me into the car, before loading my bags into the back.  I watched him as he moved.  How could I have been so lucky to have a man like him in my life?

He got into the car. “One more thing.”  He pulled something black out of his pocket. A blindfold!

“Really? You’re going to blindfold me? Is that really necessary?”  I’m not a huge fan of the dark.

“Yes I am. Put it on, quickly, before I do it for you.”  He ordered.

I did as I was told and sat back into the seat.  Since that dreaded day when Hunter had kidnapped me, I had been afraid of the dark. But since then, Vincent had been my light, pulling me into his golden glow. It hadn’t been easy.  I rested my head of the back of the seat and just let go, enjoying the music.
Make you Miss me from Sam Hunt
started playing on the radio. He placed his hand on mine and ran his fingers over my ring.  It had only been four months since we were engaged, and most of that time we had been apart.

I awoke with a kiss in my cheek and Vincent telling me that we had arrived.  I must have fallen asleep, I didn’t know how long we had been driving, I tried to take the blindfold off my eyes, but he stopped me.

“No, just a little longer, wait for me, I’ll come and get you.”

I had butterflies, feeling high with the anticipation of what he had planned.   As he opened the door, I could smell the ocean and feel the breeze on my skin. My eyes were still covered, but I could feel the goose bumps spreading over my entire body.  He took my hand in his and pulled me gently out of the car, closing the door behind me.

“Can I take this off yet?” I tried to take the blindfold off my eyes but he placed his hand over mine, stopping me.

“Just a little longer.” He placed his hand on my elbow as we walked.

We stopped, and he came to stand behind me, placing his hands on my hips and then his lips on the back of my neck, very gently placing butterfly kisses all the way up to my ear. Then he took the blindfold off.  I slowly opened my eyes; he kissed me on the neck.  The scene in front of me took my breath away.  The sun was just starting to set over the ocean; it looked like we were on a secluded beach, in a cove.  There were clusters of lanterns everywhere, and right in the middle was canopy with a table set up. Everywhere you looked were white roses with just a hint on purple on the edges.

Vincent took my hand and started walking towards the table, he took a remote out of his pocket and soft music started playing, it was All
of Me by John Legend.
This was our song.  I looked up at him with tears in my eyes.  He just looked down at me, his eyes filled with passion and love.

“Dance with me?”  He took my hand, twirled me in his arms and we started moving to the music.  He placed his hands on the small of my back and pulled me tight against his body.  I placed my hand over his heart and closed my eyes, losing myself to him, allowing him to lead me.  I would go anywhere with him. The love I felt for him seemed too big for my heart to handle, tears started rolling down my face.   I opened my eyes and saw the wet marks on his white shirt.  He placed his finger under my chin and lifted my face to look at him.

“Why are you crying?”  He traced his thumb over the droplets on my cheek.

“I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.” I lifted onto my toes to kiss him on his lips.  A kiss that started soft and gentle but turned into something more, a promise of love, a love that was far greater than the both of us.

“I love you more my angel, you are my world, I’m lucky to have you in my life, I can’t wait for the day I can call you my wife.”  He bent down, scooped me into his arms and started walking towards the ocean.

I started struggling in his arms, I had flashbacks of the day he carried me into the ocean before, fully dressed.

“Vincent, No!  Please don’t, this dress is too pretty to be ruined, PLEASE!!”  I wrapped my arms around his neck and clung to him for dear life.

I could feel the vibration of laughter in his chest.  I looked up to see his eyes smiling down at me.

“Not just now, maybe a little later, if you behave yourself.” He lowered me to my feet and pulled the chair out so I could sit.

There was a beautiful vase with the same white flowers on the table.  I ran my finger over the tip of the rose petals, and lifted the vase to smell them.  But a thorn pricked me on my finger, I yelped, and stuck my finger in my mouth.  Vincent took my hand and gently licked the little drop of blood that had formed. He held my finger in his mouth, sucking and licking it gently.   We sat staring at each over for what felt like a life time.  I pulled my finger out of his mouth, it had stopped bleeding.

Dinner was amazing, we talked and talked and laughed even more.  We made plans for our wedding in the spring.  My mother had everything already planned, she was so excited.  But Vincent and I agreed to a small wedding, with just our friends and family on the beach.  By then the sun was completely set and the sky was lit up by thousands of starts.  It was a beautiful, clear night.  After we had finished our dinner Vincent got up and walked around the table.

“I have another surprise for you, come.”  He took my hand and led me to the left of the beach just beyond the rocks.

I could not believe my eyes.  Sitting on a wooden deck, was a Jacuzzi surrounded with candles, white rose petals floating on the water, and just behind it a big dark wood four poster bed, draped with white linen.

My heart melted. The thought that a man had done all of this for me…I felt like the luckiest woman alive.  He took me in his arms and we danced, like we didn’t have a care in the world.  All that mattered was him and I.  As we danced he started singing softly to me....
I have died everyday waiting for you, darling don’t be afraid I have loved you for a thousand years, I’ll love you for a thousand more.
He kissed me with such a passion that I got chills all over my body.

While the music continued to play, I started stripping the jacket off his shoulders.  It fell to the floor by our feet, next was his tie and then slowly I started with his buttons. In no time at all he was standing topless in front of me.  I loved running my fingers across the contours of his chest, he was perfect in every way.

“My turn.”  He said gently, but I could hear the desire in his voice.  He slid the straps of my dress over my shoulders and let it drop to my feet.  I had nothing on but my pink strapless lace bra and matching G-string.  He stepped away to look at me, I heard the sharp intake of his breath. He reached out and pulled me against him.  I could feel my nipples reacting to the touch of his body against mine.  Every part of my body was aware of every part of his.  The tingling in the pit of my tummy was starting to spread to the rest of my body.  I wanted him so badly.  No, I needed him so badly.  His hand travelled up my back till he found the clasp of my bra.  Before I knew it, it was lying on the floor.  His fingers slipped into the band of my panties, in one quick move he ripped them off my body.  My eyes sprung open looking at him.  I could not only see the lust in his eyes, but I felt it pressing into my tummy.

“I need to be inside you now.” He stepped away from me and very, very quickly rid himself of his shoes and pants. He picked me up and stepped into the Jacuzzi. He gently lowered us into the bubbling warm water.  It was heavenly. He turned me so I was straddling his hips.  He pulled the pins from my hair, letting it cascade over my shoulders.    Locking my fingers at the back of his neck, I pulled his lips to mine.  I whispered, “Make love to me?”

He kissed me, running his tongue along every inch of my mouth. OMG, I melted with every stroke of his tongue.  His fingers were digging into my hips, pulling me closer to him, lifting me just enough to slip perfectly into me.  I was so turned on, and so ready to be totally and utterly consumed by him.  Somewhere in the background I could hear the music playing.  He started moving, as if in sync with the music.  He set me on fire the way he touched me, the way he loved me, the way he said my name.  I never knew love could be like this.  The love and passion between us just grew stronger and stronger, even after three years.

Vincent controlled every part of me, possessed me with every movement.  I was so close to losing control, I could feel my climax building, ready to explode.  I felt him find his release, and desperate to find my own, I placed my hands on his shoulders steadying myself.  I then took over, moving hard and fast.  My climax hit like a thousand waves rolling over me, I threw my head back and screamed his name.